L5Y 1: End of the Line
Rating: PG-13 overall
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: language
Notes: Other than RENT and Wicked (and HSM2), The Last 5 Years is my favorite favorite favorite musical. It's quirky and gorgeous and heartbreaking, and it wasn't until after I begged to rewrite it Chyan style that I realized how perfect it was for them. Which I could go on about, but how about I just let you read chapter one?
More Notes: The only thing you need to know is that L5Y doesn't go in chronological order. It's a story told entirely through song and sung by only two characters. She starts at the end and tells the story backwards. He starts at the beginning and tells it forwards. They alternate and meet in the middle to sing together only once. In this case, Chad is starting at the end and going backwards, and Ryan is going forwards. I'll leave you dates so you can place it in time, and I promise it's not as confusing as it sounds.
April 2016
The sun had disappeared hours before Chad returned home and lugged his massive suitcase through the apartment building. He collapsed against the side of the elevator as soon as the doors closed behind him and thought of the nice warm bed upstairs that was actually his and actually comfortable. If he'd even get to fall onto it and sleep forever was a different question.
His stomach tightened as he watched the numbers increase one by one. He just wanted to be in his own bed. That was all he'd ask for right now.
When he stepped off onto his floor, he saw a stack of cardboard boxes at the end of the hall piled in front of one of the doors. He stopped without pulling his suitcase through the elevator doors and let them try to close on it.
In a slow, dragging pace, he walked forward, his heart and breath coming faster with every move. The closer he was, the more it looked like those boxes came from his apartment.
He stopped again when he could see that they actually were outside his door.
The nausea that came with panic and worry and impending heartache overcame him for a moment. Should he even be here? Could he watch those boxes be filled?
He brought a hand to his face and couldn't take anything but shaky breaths. Why now? Why at all?
He dug in his pocket with a trembling hand and shoved his key into the lock. The door opened carefully and he peered inside. There were more boxes inside. Little ones spewing bubble wrap and bigger ones all closed up and labeled. He let his luggage fall to the floor. The sound of the crash was a loud echo in his head.
Chad stood at the door because it was the only thing he could do. Though he was more than a little tempted to rip open all the boxes and put everything back where it belonged.
They didn't have to give up. They could sort everything out. There had to be a chance. How could Ryan not see that? How could he think that this was the solution?
The sickening stab of jealousy drove deep through Chad's chest. Suddenly, he was cold and furious and picturing all the reasons why Ryan would leave. They all came attached to sculpted muscles and floppy hair and a parasitic director who would lavish all the attention in the world on him. Chad pressed his fingers into his temples and tried to imagine anything else.
Out of a lack of something better, he grasped the doorknob and slammed the door so hard the wall shook.
Ryan scurried into the room with wide eyes. He had a few CDs in his hand and a sweater dangling from the crook of his arm. As soon as he saw Chad, he fiddled with his belongings like he didn't know what to do with them anymore, like he didn't know what to say either. He stared at Chad with familiar concern, and Chad wished like hell that Ryan would just stop that.
Ryan tipped his head and sighed, then looked at the sofa and tossed his CDs onto it. The sweater he draped over the back and rubbed nervously before meeting Chad's eyes.
"I didn't think you'd be home yet."
Chad laughed once, quick and bitter, and then he laughed again and again until he couldn't stop because if he did, he'd be sobbing.
"Fuck you, Evans," he seethed once he caught his breath.
Ryan's face crinkled unhappily. "Look, can we talk before you get pissed at me?"
"What's left to talk about?"
"A lot. I can explain." Ryan's voice was small and soft, like he knew what it did to Chad when he seemed so lost and vulnerable.
Chad looked away and leaned against the wall, his head thumping on it a little loud. "I don't want you to explain." He swallowed hard and added softly, "I want you to stay."