I hope you all like this and the spelling and grammar isn't completely awful. I own nothing.
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About half a day out from Flemeth's hut Alistair, Morrigan and the newly anointed Warden Brosca heard the sounds of battle up ahead. By the time they reached the source however the fight was over and they were met with a very strange sight. A large Mabari war hound was, rather gingerly, sniffing a large wooden chest in the middle of the road.
"What happened to the brawl?" muttered Odin Brosca slowly lowering his mace and dagger.
"Well" replied Alistair "that's defiantly Darkspawn blood on the road, the smell alone is a dead giveaway but no bodies" he paused. "You don't think the dog ate them do you?"
"Do not be a fool" snapped Morrigan rolling her golden eyes "One dog cannot eat entire Darkspawn and certainly not in less than five minutes! Still tis curious…"
At this point the debate over the missing corpses was abruptly cut short as the Luggage (to go by its' official name) opened its' lid revealing a set of large white square teeth and bright red tongue. Before this bizarre sight could be comprehended by anyone it was immediately followed by a loud belch heard by everyone in the vicinity. The dog promptly yelped and hid behind the nearest fencepost. The others just stared.
"Did that chest just belch?" asked Alistair, the grip on his sword tightening.
"Yes" answered Brosca.
"And it has teeth?"
"That's what it looks like."
"Really?"
"Yes"
"Really?"
"Yes"
"That doesn't strike you as a bit odd?"
"I've spent the last few weeks wondering across a land with a sky that somehow leaks water and changes colour on a regular basis depending on a giant floating ball of fire, all the while surrounded by clusters of giant green plants and people that constantly loom over me. I assumed that Darkspawn eating furniture was just another surface thing."
Alistair mouth opened and closed again trying to come up with a response to this.
Morrigan meanwhile had apparently recovered enough to say "whatever is responsible for this… it is clear that powerful magic is involved. It might well be worth keeping and studying."
"Or at least selling" replied Odin then, noticing Morrigan's glare "for a very good price of course, I'm quite a persuasive haggler."
"Do neither of you think that a carnivorous chest monster might be dangerous!?" exclaimed Alistair, whose sword remained firmly pointed at his target "If it is created by magic we should either destroy it or hand it over to the Templars."
"What a surprise" cackled Morrigan "the failed Templar abandons any chance of knowledge or understanding for fear of magic imposed on him by the Chantry."
The dog meanwhile had slowly emerged from behind the fencepost to once again sniff the strange wooden thing that had eaten the dark ones. It was very confusing but it didn't smell evil (unlike the dark ones) and his nose had never let him down before. Of course when the wooden thing stood up on its own large number of legs and appeared to stretch the Mabari wisely backed off.
The other three again stopped talking and stared at the now visible and entirely functional legs.
"Hmm this gets more and more interesting." Was the first response from Morrigan.
"Well that makes things easier; we won't have to carry it." Pronounced Odin "Just as well; our backpacks are getting rather heavy."
"You want to take a walking, man eating trunk with us!?"Alistair once again exclaimed.
"Well we can hardly let it randomly wonder the surface devouring travellers. Besides so far we only know it eats Darkspawn, which sounds damn useful to me. As I said back at Flemeth's we need all the help we can get." Odin paused, stroking large, rather unkempt, red beard in thought. "We'll see how it goes; this village is still miles away and we need to set up camp. If this chest can behave we keep it, if not firewood."
The Luggage itself seemed to flinch at the mention of 'firewood'.
"It does appear to understand what we are saying, not unlike this hound." Speculated Morrigan shrewdly "If so it can be reasoned with and perhaps could be used in battle."
"In that case" declared Odin as he turned back towards the trunk "can you understand us?"
The trunk of the Luggage performed an awkward but unmistakable nod.
"Do you want to join us?"
Another nod
"Are you going to eat us?"
This time the luggage shook itself in what was interpreted as a 'no'.
"Fair enough"
"That's it?" Alistair said in a slightly shrill voice "what if it just waits for us to fall asleep?"
"Well we going to need to keep watch for Darkspawn and bandits anyway, now we have another very good reason to stand guard." Explained Brosca
Alistair's shoulders slumped in defeat "All right but if we get eaten in the middle of the night I can't wait to say I told you so." He paused "You know what I mean."
The Mabari meanwhile, feeling a bit left out, barked impatiently.
Odin turned to the dog "You're the one from the camp at Ostagar aren't you? Well you can come along as well."
Alistair smiled "Well if we're going to have man-eating chest it makes sense to have a man-eating war hound, just to complete the set of course."
Morrigan groaned at this while Odin smiled and said "My thoughts exactly, now let's get some food, some sleep and I guess I need to think of a name for the dog."
And so the small, rather odd group left the road for a small clearing. The currently unnamed Mabari was still mightily confused by the wooden thing and its' strange scuttling legs decided to stay on the opposite end of the group from it. At least for the time being.
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Night had fallen and Odin Brosca had just settled into his sleeping roll, deeply grateful of the fact that he had a roof over his head (even if it was made of flimsy cloth) when he heard it.
"Ouch! Why you little…"
Sighing Odin got up and poked his head through the tent flap.
"Alistair? What's going on?"
"Your wooden friend here just attempted to maul my feet!"
"Any permanent damage?"
"Well no, but it's just eaten my last dry pair of socks!"
Odin stared "That box gets stranger by the minute; first Darkspawn and now clothing. Almost as bad as Deepstalkers and they eat anything."
Alistair replied "Are you sure it was a good idea to let it wonder around our camp?"
The luggage promptly issued a dog-like growl towards Alistair and spat both socks in his face.
"Hey!" exclaimed Alistair then stopped "Oh my socks" he stopped again "and there're…clean." Clean was somewhat understating it. From the filthy, mud encrusted (but admittedly dry) items they had been the socks in question were now spotless. They also had a faint lavender scent.
"So you can do free laundry?" Odin asked the chest. The Luggage nodded "Ha! And you didn't want to keep it!"
"All right that is pretty handy." Alistair conceded then nervously patted the Luggage on the lid "er…good chest. All the same we should probably not enter Lothering with it if it's staying with us." Alistair continued.
"True enough" agreed Odin "anyway I'm gonna get some shut eye, wake me up when it's my turn to keep watch."
Unbeknownst to the rest of the party Morrigan had listened in and seen the encounter with the now passive wooden chest. The expression on her face, still masked by shadow could easily be compared to a hungry wolf finding a fresh bacon sandwich.
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So once again I'm on the wrong side of the law and I've got a bounty on my head mused Odin as the group trudged out of Lothering. Whatever happened at Ostagar its clear this Loghain needed scapegoats and the mostly dead Grey Wardens are the perfect candidates, typical. Despite this unwelcome news their visit to Lothering had been a success. Odin had more money in his pouch than he had ever seen (as well as a fine new sword he had given to Alistair) mostly thanks to the loot he had sold and the human's Chantry Board. It was even more gratifying to know that he had acquired it without needed to beat any poor bastard down or immediately hand it over to his old Carta bosses. In all, and despite the accusations of treachery and regicide, being a Grey Warden was great.
Now they just needed to track done their walking luggage and they could move on. Probably should try and explain that to the new additions thought the responsible part of Odin's mind or don't and watch the fun said another more mischievous voice. He looked over to his newest companions in this increasingly strange group. Mind you both of them were pretty weird in their own right. First was human woman, Leliana, who claimed to have visions and for some reason was living in a remote human temple. Odin couldn't claim to know much about the Chantry but he was pretty sure that most of the priestesses weren't trained with knives, lock picking, archery or brewing poisons. She's got a shady past, I can practically taste it he had thought after talking with her at the pub, and perhaps that's why he chose to accept her offer. She had certainly proven her worth so far, not least in securing the release of their second new recruit. Sten might be a murderer who was twice his height but leaving him as Darkspawn bait in a cage was just sadistic. Besides if he goes crazy I can take him down Odin considered with no false modesty. The taller the opponent the easier they are to hamstring, and he's really bloody tall.
"You two should probably hear about our other group member" said Odin, the responsible part of his brain eventually winning the fight.
Morrigan smirked, watching the conversation with an air of smug amusement, while Alistair looked apprehensive.
"Oh?" replied Leliana "who is he…or is it she and why haven't we met yet?"
"Well we don't know whether it's a he or a she" began Alistair.
Suddenly, and with a truly perfect sense of dramatic timing, the Luggage rampaged through the nearest hedgerow appearing a few feet in front of the group. A longbow and a two handed sword were immediately drawn.
"Hold it!" commanded Odin "That's the group member we were just about to discuss."
As weapons were slowly lowered Leliana wondered "Is this magic… or perhaps a new dwarf invention?"
"Much as I'd like to take credit we've got no idea" explained Odin "we found it on the road, its clever enough to understand us and it eats Darkspawn."
"And it does laundry!" Alistair helpfully added.
"The Maker's world is full of mysteries." Was Leliana's eventual response, after a slightly more detailed explanation and a lengthy pause. "This gift proves we are doing his work."
"Bah" said Morrigan, doing an unwittingly accurate impersonation of her mother "All it proves is power of Magic and those who use it."
"It is Saarebas trickery nothing more." Grumbled Sten, as he continued to adjust his pack, "Can we move on from here? The Darkspawn are waiting."
"It's true, the Darkspawn aren't known for their patience" agreed Alistair "but where are we going?"
"West to Redcliff" decided Odin "even if this Arl Eamon is sick and unable to help his town would be a good stop off point, a nice rest for us all."
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