((Written out of Boredom-Enjoy a Suicidal, Love-Sick Russia))

"Hello nightmare," I stared into the mirror at my own reflection. How I hated those violet eyes that stared back, behind them was terrible insanity. My wrists were bandaged along with my neck, a reminder of my failed attempt at death. I guess it's what you get for being what most would consider immortal.

"Ivan Braginski? Are you in here?"

Ah, I know that voice. It belonged to one very annoying blonde hair, blue-eyed American. I long to tell him how I feel but every time I try I wind up cutting myself. I'm too afraid and yet I am the largest country in the world.

"Da, Alfred I am here," I stepped away from my fear and promptly pushed past him into the hallway. I went to the conference room where all eyes looked away. I sat in my seat and smiled my customary smile, paying zero mind to the others around me. It was something I was rather used to doing, especially now that they knew of my recent attempts at suicide.

"Alright you guys! Let's start the meeting! I still think the only way to get out of the recession is to get rid of China!" The blonde who I loved declared while a stunned Chinese man argued his side.

I liked these meetings very much, the arguing around me drown out the internal struggle I constantly was having. Korea once again proclaimed everything originated in Korea and there was no changing that and Switzerland threatened to beat people with his peace prize.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP! We are in a meeting for gott's sake!" Once again Germany was trying to take control of the absolutely insane meeting.

I smiled just a bit more behind my scarf. My comrades were always like this, I was seated next to the Italy brothers who were cowering in each other's arms. Even though our bosses were getting along well it didn't mean that we were friends. I had tried but they were to afraid of me to stand up against me in friendship. All friendships were kind of like that ever since I went crazy. However even now that I was somewhat evened tempered it made better, even though everyone feared a switch in personality.

"Russia, stop scaring Feliciano!" I turned my attention to the German and smiled.

"Da? I did not mean to, it seems that my past scares them more then myself." My smile faded," I apologize for it though."

A good amount of time passed and then America stood up again, saying that if anyone had anything else to add they should say it now. I stood up and my eyes slid across every nation in the room, finally landing on my sweet American, "I, Ivan Braginski, am in love with Alfred F. Jones. It has nothing to do with power or status, I just love him."

Alfred stood there in shock; the whole room was silent. I turned and left, not listening to my name being called. I dropped my suicide note and started for the stairs. I took my time because the roof was two flights away, however when the door opened up and I was hit with the cold air from outside my heart pounded more. I made it out to the edge as the sun loomed in the west of New York City, casting an orange glow off of the glass windows.

"Ru-Ivan don't do it! Please! I'm begging you not to!" Alfred yelled, "Please, don't do this. Come back from there."

I smiled; I was already on the other side of the railing. The wind up here blew my scarf so it was in front of me. I came back, not stopping and kissed the blonde. Those lips tasted like coca cola and his mouth was just as sweet but tasted more like strawberries. I pulled away and hugged him. "Ya tebya lublu, Alfred. I know you don't care after everything we have been through. You're also with Arthur." I smiled and stepped backward toward the edge again.

Once on the ledge I waved to him and whispered sorry, I fell backwards with my eyes closed. I felt the tears leave my eyes and heard the voice screaming my name. After that was nothing.

Here I stand in the darkness facing myself. I walk through him and into the light. I watch my own funeral from the crowd and my angel is standing in the front row with sunflowers instead of roses. I wrapped my transparent arms around his waist and in his ear whisper sweetly," I love you, my sweet, sweet angel."