Title: I'll stay with you, the walls will fall before we do (1/1)
Pairing: Luke/Gail
Word Count: 5182
Summary: The cock of the gun feels like a physical ache in her soul. If she gets out of this alive, praying to every higher power that she will, she knows that sound will haunt her for the rest of her life. Gail hears Sam's voice yelling out before the sound of a gunshot rips through the silence.
Author's Note: This began as part of my One Word drabbles, and I realized that I had a bigger story to tell. So here it is in completed form (previous drabble plus new material.)
"Shots fired." Oliver's voice sounds over the radio on her shoulder.
Gail looks to her right at her partner. Sam's face is white as a sheet at those two small words. His jaw immediately clenches and she knows it's to keep himself from yelling into his own radio.
"Suspect is heading south towards Greene Street. He's armed and has an extremely violent history. Do not engage without backup. I repeat, the suspect is highly dangerous. Do not engage without backup."
She can tell by the tone of Oliver's voice that none of the shots fired did any damage. He sounds extremely tense but not overly upset. There's also no mention of need for an ambulance.
Meaning there would be no trips to the hospital today.
Gail sneaks a glance at her partner. The relief on Sam's face is immediate knowing Andy is safe.
Ever since getting married six months ago, Sam and Andy were no longer allowed to ride together. Sam made a huge stink about it until Andy talked him down. Gail knew Andy didn't like the situation either but they had already pushed the rules as far as they could go. Frank told them it was one thing for them to be partners and dating, but it was a completely different thing to being partners and married. The entire situation made for a damn grumpy senior officer.
Gail didn't mind Sam's crabby attitude like everyone else did, which meant she got partnered up with him more times than not. To be honest, she actually preferred being Sam's partner. He would occasionally let her drive and he never needed to fill the long hours of silence with talk. There was nothing she hated more than small talk, especially in a small enclosed space.
"Greene Street. That means he's coming right towards us" Gail tells Sam.
Sam nods and reaches for the radio. "This is car 1570. Suspect is headed our way. We're on it."
Both coppers look at each other for a moment before getting out of the car. Unholstering her gun, Gail can feel her pulse start to quicken, adrenaline starting to race through her body. This part of the job was always a rush for her. Sometimes she even thinks it's better than sex. Her mind turns to the night before and despite the current situation, she smiles to herself, another emotion coursing through her veins.
No, nothing is better than sex.
It's in that moment that she hears footsteps coming from the alley behind her. They are the footsteps of someone running...fast.
Spinning around, she catches sight of a tall man running down the alley. By the look of terror on his face and the weapon in his left hand, she deduces he's the suspect they are looking for.
"FREEZE!" she yells out, her gun slightly elevated. As much as her instinct wants to point the gun at him, the rules state a gun is only to be aimed when the other weapon is raised first.
Coming to an abrupt stop when he sees her blocking his escape route, Gail follows his eyes and knows he's sizing up the situation, deciding whether or not he can get away cleanly. Cold blue eyes take one look at her partner behind her, Sam's own weapon is raised slightly higher than her own, no doubt thinking about how this man shot at his wife.
The suspect, who she knows is named Jonas Miller from Parade earlier that morning, was on the run from a triple murder charge. Airtight forensic evidence along with several witnesses made this an open and shut case. This man was looking at more than one life sentence in prison.
Jonas takes another look at Sam, probably thinking he was going to give him the most trouble. That's when Gail takes the opportunity to make a small step forward. A shard of glass, most likely from some moron's beer bottle, crunches beneath her boot and Jonas' eyes immediately swing back to her, the cold chill in his expression mixing with anger.
"Easy there Peck." She hears Sam's agitated voice behind her. Her flippant response is held back when she sees Jonas make a move. Her stomach jumps into her throat when she sees him aim his weapon directly at her heart. Four years on the job and she has still not gotten used to this. She doubts she ever will.
Suddenly it's like everything goes into high relief.
Cold winter air bites her skin.
The sharp tang of blood bursts in her mouth from biting the inside of her cheek.
There is even a god-awful smell coming from somewhere in the alleyway she hadn't noticed before - probably piss from many a drunk idiot.
The hammering heart in her chest is the only thing reminding her that time hasn't actually stopped.
She can feel Sam step closer to her, probably hoping to shield her body with his in case Jonas' discharged his weapon. On occasion, Sam and the rest of the seniors officers would revert back to their training mindset and try to protect their old rookies.
Jonas takes one look at the weapon in her hands and by the look in his eyes, she can tell he has already made a decision.
"I'm not going to jail." Jonas warns, finally breaking his silence. The cock of the gun feels like a physical ache in her soul. If she gets out of this alive, praying to every higher power that she will, she knows that sound will haunt her for the rest of her life.
Gail hears Sam's voice yelling out before the sound of a gunshot rips through the silence.
Detective Luke Callaghan looks around the station in mild confusion.
Everyone seems to be buzzing around at warp speed. A loud yell from Best's office catches his attention and he can see the sergeant swearing into a phone. By the look on his face, Luke can tell something bad has happened. He knows that it would futile trying to get information from any of the officers swarming about, so spotting the only person sitting down amidst the hurricane, he makes his way over to the front desk. From the look on her face, it's obvious she knows what's going on.
"Hey Traci. What's going on?" The officer, who is very pregnant with her second child, looks up at him. An odd expression comes over her face and he frowns, not liking it one bit.
"Traci?" He asks again, thinking maybe she might not have heard him. Traci takes a deep breath and subconsciously rubs her belly.
"You remember that guy you were talking about in Parade this morning?"
Luke nods, he is the lead detective working on the case. A simple open-and-shut case if you asked him. Annie Jacobs and her boyfriend Brian Kerry were found murdered two weeks ago in a parking lot. The murder weapon was found covered with fingerprints that belonged to the victim's ex-boyfriend, Jonas Miller.
"What about him?" Luke asks.
"Well Oliver and Andy spotted him around Courtney Street and went after him. Apparently he got his hands on another weapon and shot at them."
Dread beings to fill his body. "Are they okay?" Despite their relationship having been over for four years, the brown haired detective still holds a special place in his heart.
Traci briefly nods, "They're fine. They managed to take cover but by the time they regrouped, Miller had gotten away." She bit her lower lip and by the agitated way she began to rub her belly, he knows there's more to the story.
"Another squad car managed to intercept him. Two shots were fired. An officer was taken to County Memorial." The look on her face is guarded and he can tell she is holding something back. Cold, icy fingers grip his heart.
"Who is it?" he asks, cursing the words on his lips. Some sense of self-preservation tells him he really doesn't want to know who. By the look on Traci's face, he can now see the barely concealed fear and worry.
The name barely leaves her lips before he's running out of the station.
Upon entering the hospital, Luke immediately tracks Sam down.
"Where is she?" Luke demands. It isn't until he feels Sam's own rough hands on his own that he realizes he had grabbed the other man's coat in desperation.
Sam calmly removes Luke's hands from his coat. "She's still in surgery. They were able to get the bullet in her thigh but," he hesitates for a moment, "but the bullet in her chest is giving them trouble."
There was a bullet in her chest. Luke quickly calculates the survival statistics for a GSW to the chest, remnant information from his own gunshot wounds, and knows they aren't good.
Sam then clears his throat and gives him some more bad news. "It hit a lung."
Luke feels the air rush out of him, his reality getting more nightmarish with every passing minute.
"Where is she?" He moves in the direction of the OR. Sam grabs Luke's arms to hold him back.
"Hold it Callaghan. The doctors said she'll be in surgery for at least a couple more hours."
Luke shakes Sam's grip off him, but stays in place. He runs a trembling hand through his already disheveled hair, Gail's teasing voice immediately fills his mind. She liked to taunt him, saying his hair was like a mood ring, and that you could always tell what he was feeling by the state of his hair. If the terror gripping his chest like a vice was any indication, he could barely fathom what his hair looked like.
"What the hell happened!?" Luke yells in the crowded hospital corridor. He can feel the intrusive stares of the people around him, the violent thoughts aimed towards everyone around him momentarily horrify him. Even with his job, he liked to think he was a calm guy...even if it's a guy he can barely remember at the moment.
Sam approaches him slowly, almost like he was approaching a wild animal. "Why don't you sit down?"
Luke allows Sam to steer him towards a row of empty seats against the wall. A slight pressure on his shoulders prompts him to sit down. He sinks down into the cushions like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. Sam sits next to him and sighs.
"We ran interference on a suspect. He had already fired at Oliver and...Andy." Luke can hear the slight tremor in Sam's voice when saying her name.
"I already heard this from Nash. What I want to know is what happened." A brief look of irritation passes over Sam's face. There was a tiny bit of blame coloring Luke's words, like it was Sam's fault Gail got shot.
Sam takes a deep breath, biting back a harsh reply. He didn't even want to think about how he'd be feeling if their roles were reversed.
"We got intel that he was running in our direction so we moved to intercept him. Gail saw him first. Before I knew it, she was ten feet away from him with a gun aimed at her at point blank range." Luke can hear the anger in his voice. He then felt a bit guilty for implying Sam was at fault. He knows that the officer had a soft spot for the abrasive blonde.
A menacing shadow passes over Sam's face. "I shot him."
There would be no trial for Jonas Miller.
Luke wants to feel satisfaction knowing the shooter was dead but he can't. Not when his entire world is still fighting for her life somewhere in this hospital.
"SAM!" Luke hears a shrill voice coming from down the hall; a voice sounding almost unhinged. The alarm in the voice causes both men to stand quickly.
A flash of blue rushes by and into the waiting arms of the man beside him. Andy wraps herself around Sam in a way that pulls at something in his chest.
It's been years since he's come to terms with their relationship, he had even gone to their wedding without any feelings of resentment, it's just that right now he can't stand to look at them. Luke is jealous of the watery smiles of relief on both their faces. He is jealous that they could wrap their arms around each other and be thankful the other was safe. He is jealous that their entire world is still intact while his is tilting off its axis.
Why is it they always manage to escape from harm? For two cops who seem to go looking for trouble, they always make it out relatively unscathed. It isn't fair. Why should they get all the luck when the universe just seems to dump on him time and time again.
"I'm okay," he hears Sam's voice trying to calm his wife's worries.
"If anything had happened to you..." the end of her sentence is cut off by Sam's pointed look in his direction. Andy's eyes land on him and he immediately feels sick. The pity in her eyes is more than he can handle.
"Luke" she says, a hand reaching out to him. He steps back before it can make contact.
"I'm gonna go get some air" he coughs out, turning away from the married couple without waiting for a response.
Walking down a couple of random corridors, Luke ends up in a deserted area of the hospital, chaotic thoughts racing through his mind. He should have known that right when his life is just starting to make sense, just starting to feel balanced, it would all come crashing down around him in large, karma infused pieces.
Ever since the fallout with Andy and Jo, he retreated into himself. He believed himself incapable of having a, not so much normal relationship, but at least a functioning one. That's when Gail Peck came crashing into his life, and somehow made it better. She made him want to live again, instead of merely surviving, one snarky quip at a time.
A sharp pain runs up his right arm. Looking down, he finds he has punched the wall without realizing it, but the pain coming from his wrist is a welcome change from the pain in his chest.
If she doesn't make it...
His mind shies away from the thought. It hurts too much to even imagine.
If she dies...
This time anger seeps into his marrow. How the hell had he gotten to this place, a place where his damn sanity depended on someone else?
"Luke?" Andy is suddenly in front of him, worry for him written all over her face. Luke has no idea how she managed to find him but here she is.
"Yeah?" His gruff voice is unrecognizable to him.
"She's out of surgery." She tells him in one relieved breath. Hope blooms in his chest, the happy look on Andy's face further influencing his mood.
"How is she?" His heart feels like it's pounding in his throat.
"They managed to get the bullet out and repair the damage to her right lung."
Luke feels like a weight has been lifted off his chest. She's going to be okay.
"But-" Who would have thought such a small word would bring him crashing back to Earth.
"But what?" He can hear the madness creeping into his voice.
Watery eyes meet his blank ones.
"She isn't waking up."
Superintendent Elaine Peck did not take the news of her daughter's shooting and subsequent coma well. It's been two days since Gail's last surgery and there was still no change. Elaine had specialists flown in from around the country, hoping someone could tell her why her only daughter wasn't waking up.
The quick clack of her heels sound down the otherwise silent hallway. It's late, visiting hours having come and gone. Not that it mattered since rules were not an issue for one of the city's most powerful figures. Many thought her to be a cruel and unfeeling woman but after word came to her of her daughter's condition, she barely left the younger woman's side.
Elaine's determined stride is broken upon a seeing a strange man in her daughter's room. Elaine thinks the man looks familiar, but can't quite put her finger on where. She sees hundreds of people a day and it's almost impossible to remember each face.
"Who are you?" she asks briskly. This man is a stranger and she does not like the way he is looking at her daughter.
"I'm-" the man clears his throat. "Detective Luke Callaghan. I-"
"Work with my daughter" she nods in remembrance, finally putting a place to the face. "Yes, I remember you. You work at Division 15."
She glances down at her daughter's prone form and then back at Detective Callaghan. She frowns in annoyance. "So would you like to explain what you are doing here," she takes a quick glance at her watch, "at eleven in the evening? As you can see, my daughter is in no condition to give a statement right now."
The man named Luke seems to vibrate with nervous energy. The look on his face reminds her of a scolded child; raising Steve and Gail has given her much familiarity with that.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. I just...wanted to know how she's doing."
Something about this whole situation doesn't sit right with her. Raising a perfectly arched eyebrow, and with her arms crossed over her chest, she asks "Then why not come during visiting hours like everyone else?" She presss her lips tightly together.
Luke's chuckle surprises her. No man ever laughs while she's standing in her battle stance. The change in his face makes it clear he knows she doesn't approve of his mirth.
"I'm sorry" he apologizes, getting his emotions under control. "It's just...you remind me of Gail." He then points a finger at her battle stance as a way of explaining. "She does the same thing when she's annoyed," a rogue chuckle escapes his mouth, "which is usually all the time."
The sound of her daughter's name on this man's lips sidelines her, the devotion in his voice clear to those paying attention. And she definitely was.
Taking a closer look at the tall blonde, she can see the affection on his face as he looks at Gail, and all the pieces suddenly click together.
"You're sleeping with my daughter." A mixture of surprise and fear she's used to are finally expressed on his face. If it had been any other day, she might have laughed. Elaine smiles triumphantly. "Oh, don't look so surprised. Your face is a huge tell. With the way you are looking at her, even a blind man could tell how you feel about her."
Deciding to let him sweat, she walks further into the room and rearranges the flowers on the windowsill. She notices the new addition to the collection of gift shop memorabilia, a green stuffed toad, and turns back to Luke.
"What the hell is that?" she asks. Luke, still looking a bit shell shocked, follows her gaze and seems to grow even more agitated at the mention of the toad.
"I brought it for her." He answers plainly; no more, no less. It infuriates her.
"It's positively filthy," Elaine scoffs. "Besides, Gail detests stuffed animals. She did even when she was a kid." She looks at him and sees that he is once again looking at her daughter. A faraway look in his eyes like he's remembering a distant memory.
"You couldn't bring flowers like a normal person." She states, unable to stop bashing his gift.
Luke continues to look fondly at Gail, her face relaxed as if she was merely sleeping. His hand reaches out to smooth a wayward lock of hair back. "This room is filled with enough dead things." He gestures towards the numerous arrangements covering every surface of the room, most of their flowers starting to wilt.
Elaine gives the detective a calculating look before striking. Sometimes her daughter just doesn't know what was best for her. "I thought she had learned her lesson after that Craig fellow." She says, incorrectly naming Chris. "Oh, I'm sure you're a great catch," she says to Luke with a condescending smile, "but dating a coworker never works out. Especially in our line of work."
Again that annoying laugh of his fills the room. She feels a twinge of anger because he is not acting at all the way she expected.
"No offense Elaine," the sound of her first name on his lips gives her pause "but I really don't care what you think." It seems that despite his previous behavior, this man is not someone who is easily intimidated.
Her defenses go up. She does not appreciate the way he is talking to her. Nobody speaks to her that way and gets away with it.
"Well Lance," she deliberately flubs his name, "since you seem to care so much about my daughter, why haven't I seen you here before?"
Luke takes one glance at Gail before walking around her bedside. Coming to a stop in front of the tough matriarch, he gives her a steady look.
"The man who shot her, Jonas-"
"Jonas Miller. I'm well aware of his name." She interrupts him.
"Well he was a suspect in a murder case I was working on and his death caused a lot of trouble. I was here when they initially brought her in, but I also had a job to do and this has been the first chance I've been able to get away." He explains, his voice hardening while speaking of the recently (but not missed) departed. Luke isn't finished though.
"And as for my feelings for your daughter, I don't see how that's any of your business."
Elaine scoffs. "Excuse me, but everything in her life is my business. She is my daughter and you are-"
Luke never hears the end of that sentence because a weak and annoyed voice interrupts them.
"Oh my God, could you both just shut the hell up?"
Gail felt like she was drowning in a pool of mud, everything around her dark and muted. There were moments of endless free-fall punctuated with moments of excruciating pain, and her entire body felt like it was on fire. After an indeterminable amount of time, the pain began to lessen until it was just a throbbing ache.
That's when she woke up…to the sound of her mother and boyfriend arguing.
Bringing a pale hand up to her face, Gail rubs at her temples.
"You know, both of you suck." Her voice is hoarse from disuse. Luke immediately notices and hands her the cup of ice chips from the bedside table.
The worry in his face annoys her. This isn't her Luke. She wants the sarcastic, easily flustered man she's grown extremely fond of. The man with the angel face who's a demon in bed. Despite this, she allows him to feed her ice chips. After all, she doesn't see any reason for dehydration.
Sneaking a glance at her mother, she sees her attention is on the blonde man at her bedside. It irritates Gail to no end that even now she can't score her mother's full attention.
"I know he's got a great ass Mom, but do you think you could give me some of your precious attention for like two seconds?" Gail speaks with her usual fire and she can see how it puts Luke at ease. It does nothing, however, but infuriate her mother.
"Good to know two gunshots, life threatening surgery and a coma haven't dulled your sharp wit, sweetie." Her mother says with an unamused look on her face. It makes Gail smile.
"What can I say, I'm a born charmer." A pain shoots through her side as she chuckles. Luke's face immediately drops at her involuntary wince.
"Are you okay?" He asks, and a spark of annoyance flies through her. She never did like being doted on and that goddamn puppy dog look on his face reminds her of Chris. Even years later the breakup was still a bitter pill to swallow, especially since she had done nothing wrong. Her pride had taken a disastrous hit after that, but the fallout was also the reason why she could never stay angry with the man looking at her now. Luke had held her up, had reminded her of who she was when she had forgotten, and even gave her the best rebound sex she's ever had. Since then, she's never been able to kick him out of her bed…or her heart.
"What happened?"
"You were shot sweetheart." Her mother quips with a smirk Gail had obviously inherited from her.
Gail rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the pain shooting through her skull. "I don't have amnesia. I know what happened."
"He's dead." Luke answers. There's an awful hollowness in his voice and Gail doesn't like it. Between the two of them, she's used to being the one with the dark moods.
The feeling of Luke's hand brushing back her hair is as unexpected as the feelings that accompany it. Over the course of four years, he has managed to go from Homicide-the-coworker to Homicide-the-friend with-benefits. Over the past year he has turned into something more than just a friend she spent many a cold night in bed with. He had turned into someone she-
The word hovers in her mind, her mouth afraid to voice the word.
Looking up into his concerned eyes, Gail can feel unwanted tears fill hers as everything hits her with a wallop.
"Why am I crying?" She's half amused and half angry with herself. This display of emotion is embarrassing her in front of the two people whose opinion she cares about most.
Concern is no longer the only emotion in his bright blue eyes. There's also something that looks as big and daunting as the feeling welling in her chest.
Luke holds her face in his hands, the pads of his thumbs warm against her cheeks. "It's okay, Gail. You're okay."
Gail wants to roll her eyes but they don't seem to get the memo. She wants to push his hands away and tell him she doesn't need his reassurance or his permission to feel the million and one emotions coursing through her body right now. Instead, she finds herself doing the complete opposite of that. Her hands decide they want to feel the sturdy here-ness of his skin, to feel the safety she's come to associate with his goofy face, and she finds herself mimicking his actions. Her left hand reaches out to touch his cheek, scratching against his scruff, and she finds herself laughing just as suddenly as her crying jag had been. Her heart soars when Luke immediately responds with a smile of his own.
"What?" She likes how his eyes have cleared, no longer filled with the darkness she immediately noticed after waking.
"You look terrible. When's the last time you shaved?"
Luke rolls his eyes, "Not out of your coma for twenty minutes and you're already making fun of me."
Gail gives him a weak shrug. "I've been unconscious for days, I have a lot to make up for." She rubs her thumb up his cheek, his eyes responding to the softness in her touch. "I don't hate it."
"Well, pleasing you is my life's mission." The words are teasing, but she can feel the irrefutable sincerity in them. He means it one hundred percent.
A throat clearing interrupts their moment, and Gail knows her dear mother has decided she's been ignored long enough.
Coming around to sit on the empty side of the hospital bed, Elaine pointedly sits and makes herself the center of attention. Playing with Gail's hair, brushing the stringy locks behind her ears, hurried words flying out of her mouth. "I'm so glad you're awake, sweetheart. Are you feeling any pain?"
"Mom, I'm fine."
"Nonsense. Maybe we can see about getting you a morphine drip. I'll go get the doctor."
Almost making her dizzy with how fast she moves, Gail watches her mother hesitate in the doorway to her room for a moment before turning back. Giving Luke a level stare, Elaine says "Can I trust you to look after her while I go do that?"
"Yes. Of course."
To many it might seem like nothing, but Gail knows that this was her mother's way of accepting him. Peck's rarely trusted others with important tasks, and despite their rocky and strained relationship, Gail knows her mother sees her family as one of the most important parts of her life. So the fact that she's asked Luke to look after her daughter speaks volumes to Gail, and she feels a sudden overabundance of affection towards her mother.
With Elaine gone, it's just the two of them, her heart monitor beeping softly in the room. Something by the windowsill catches Gail's eye and her breath hitches when she makes out the stuffed toad hidden amongst the flowers. Her throat feels tight with emotion, and the tears she managed to stop have started up again.
"Is that-?"
"Yeah." There's a heavy look on his face and she can feel the atmosphere intensify around them.
"You couldn't bring flowers like a normal person?" She says to lighten the mood, and if the small exhale of breath is any indication, he's relieved for the change.
"Besides, I thought this room was filled with enough dead things." He replies, motioning to the wilting flowers like he did earlier.
"The dead plant thing is your issue. Me? I like looking at pretty things. A room full of flowers makes me feel adored."
Luke rolls his eyes affectionately and holds her hand in his. "I'll make sure to bring you some next time."
(Here's the story of the stuffed toad.)
Not many know that Gail went through a pregnancy scare a mere couple months earlier. Just Traci, Steve and Luke. While going out of her way to avoid Luke for days, worried out of her mind, Gail had gone to Traci for advice. Traci had then gone to Steve, who then went to Luke and spilled the beans despite being threatened with bodily harm by Gail. She had no idea what to expect from Luke and was surprised when later that night he had showed up at her door with a terrified expression and the most pathetic looking stuffed animal she had ever seen, complete with a missing eye and a discolored patch of fur. Turns out it had been the only thing he had from his childhood of rotating foster homes.
The pregnancy test ended up being negative, but that's when things between them changed and they both knew they were in this for the long haul.
(Now they just had to get that pesky four letter word out of the way and in the open.)
Thank you so much for reading! I've been working hard on this and I hope I managed to catch all the mistakes!
Title comes from "Stay With You" by The Goo Goo Dolls.