Okay this is my first fanfiction. My writing sucks. Actually everyone acts OOC in this one. Personally I wish Kagome had acted like this towards him at this point in the Manga. For me this is a ''I wish this had happened '' scenario. So please forgive the melodrama which makes even me cringe. This takes place at roughly episode 48 and manga chapter ''Kagome's Heart''. When I wrote this I hated Kikyou and worshiped Kagome. Now I just like Kagome and dislike Kikyou. Still think Inuyasha is a jerk though. Only constructive criticism please.
Inuyasha looked up from his bowl of soup, shooting a discrete glance at Kagome. After the debacle at the Goshinboku she'd run off to her own world. He'd honestly thought he'd never see her again. But just this afternoon she'd returned. He spent the whole afternoon running around the village and forest. The truth was that he was trying to avoid her. One look at her face had filled him with so much guilt, he thought he'd never live it down. But in the end he felt like a coward for not facing her. That and the fact that Miroku was threatening to beat his skull in with his staff was the main reason he was now sitting across the fire from her. He knew that sooner or later they would have to talk about it but he just didn't want to. Why couldn't she just stay in her own time and spare him all the awkwardness. Sighing, he looked up into Kagome's face and nodded. Quickly, they left the hut.
As Kagome led the way, InuYasha wondered what she could possibly want to say to him. Would she beg him to let her stay? What would he say to her? Would he let her stay? The temptation to let her stay was unsurprisingly strong. After all even he could not bear the thought of being miserable 24/7. The prospect of protecting Kikyou promised plenty of misery. As much he hated to admit it, (somehow it was as if he was betraying Kikyo even thinking such a thing) Kagome was the only woman in the world who'd ever truly made him happy.
Kagome walked towards the goshinboku and came to a stop. She seemed to be contemplating the branches then she raised her hand and touched the gash in the bark She snapped her head back and stared straight at him.
He didn't love her
But he needed her around...
As he gazed steadily at the sharp blue eyes that were boring into him he knew what he'd do. He didn't even have to think about it. It came so easily to him. It was selfish of him to want her to stay after he had just betrayed her and broken her heart. But he'd suffered so much in life. His dream of a normal life had been snatched away from right before his eyes. Life had screwed with him so much. It owed him some small measure of happiness, this small selfishne
He told himself that he was doing the right thing. That he had nothing to be sorry for. And, it was true. When you were desperate, there was no time for shame. No time for regret. No feeling any pain but your own. He'd led her on. Pretended to give her his heart when it was not his to give. He had always known it would come to this. One day Kagome would realize his 'love' for her had been no more substantial than smoke and her heart would break. Kagome would be the one feeling the pain. He would move on. Put what he had done to her out of his mind. He had hoped to keep fate at bay for as long as he could. Have her by his side for just one more day and pretend she belonged there. Now, because of his stupidity, his selfishness, she was hurting. All because of his fear that she would leave if she found out the truth. So, he had let her believe a lie, hoping that when that day came she would find it in her heart to forgive him his small selfishness.
It seemed that when it came to Kagome his selfishness knew no bounds .He just couldn't seem to let her go even for the sake of her own happiness and safety. He'd tried to once. But when she returned to him he decided to damn it all to hell. He would do what he had to. Even pretend to feel something he did not feel. Just so long as she stayed. He hoped to the gods, she never found out the truth.
He did not love her.
He was just very selfish.
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He was staring back at her as if he had nothing to be sorry for. She had hoped he would at least be ashamed enough to drop his eyes. However, there he was disgustingly straight-backed, head held high, eyes clear and guiltless as if he was proud of being a cheating bastard. How could she really expect him to show some common decency now when she knew he had none? Oh, she knew that all too well. After all this was the pathetic bastard who had to be forced, even to go and dump her decently! She had been so furious when she learnt of his reluctance to go and speak to her, his eagerness to be off chasing Naraku while she was weeping her poor broken heart out. Coward! He really didn't care about anything but himself. He deserved every single thing she was going to throw at him. She dug her small blunt nails into the bark imagining it was his chest. If she had claws, she would gladly tear his heart out!
Hurt him...
cause him pain…
See how he likes it…
when he's the one betrayed and alone….
She turned to him. Poor bastard wouldn't know what hit him.
''InuYasha, I'm setting you free''
''InuYasha, I'm setting you free''
He stared at her.
''What?''
Kagome sighed; her fingers stopped caressing the bark as she turned to face him fully.
''I said I'm setting you free InuYasha,'' she repeated as if he were a particularly slow child.
''I heard that'', he barked annoyed at her vague expression. ''What the Hell is that supposed to mean? Wadda ya mean 'setting me free'.''
''When we met'', Kagome explained, ''Kaede bound us together thinking we would be of use to each other. You needed me to find the shards and I needed you to protect me. It was a purely business thing …kinda like a contract''
InuYasha studied her face wondering where the hell she was taking this thing.
She must have seen the confused look on his face because she flashed him a look of pity and got straight to the point. ''What I'm saying is that I'm breaking the contract. I don't want to hunt shards for you anymore.''
''Are you saying'', he began. He could hardly believe his ears. ''Are you saying that you wanna go back permanently?'' He was aware of his growing sense of panic. He clamped it down. Kagome is a stupid weak hearted thing she doesn't have the guts to do this ...right? Right? He took one look at her and he knew that this time he was wrong. There she was, watching him intently waiting for her words to sink in. He couldn't just let her walk away. His pathetic loneliness wasn't the only reason. The only other person who could help him look for the shards was Kikyo and he knew she wasn't going to lift a finger to help him. That left Kagome and he already needed her for other more personal reasons he was too ashamed to admit to himself. Most of the time. But there were times when he had to swallow his pride and do what he had to. Like when Kouga came around and he could no longer pretend that Kagome meant nothing to him. Now was one of those times. He would do what he could to make her change her mind. He racked his brain for arguments to make her stay. But all he could blurt out was a dumb sounding'' Your leaving.'' Way to go Mr. Obvious...
Kagome actually smiled. But there was no sweetness in it. It was wry and almost pitying.
''No'', she said ''I'm not leaving. You misunderstood ''
Relief filled him. She was staying. He didn't have to look for another shard detector!
''I'm not leaving'', she repeated. '' I said I was breaking our contract. I still have my contract with Shippou ,Miroku and Sango and I'm not breaking that.''
He went over her words in his head. They made absolutely no sense. How could she look for shards for their friends and somehow not him?
''Say What?''
''And as such'', Kagome went on ignoring his confusion,'' You owe me nothing. You don't have to protect me anymore. I don't need it. Do you get it, InuYasha?''
He was beginning to get it. But his mind refused the conclusion that was forming in his head. Kagome was going to continue to hunt shards for the group but not him, which meant what she was asking was-''Your asking me to leave?''
The expression on her face told him he'd got it right .She looked grimly satisfied. Like she was getting her own back. The BITCH! She was getting back at him for betraying her and breaking her heart. He had to admit it, watching Kagome be a real bitch for once was a huge turn on. Maybe that was the problem with Kagome. Too much sweetness not enough bitchiness. Her SIT commands were almost juvenile. If Kagome had some real bitchiness in her he'd probably be madly in love with her right now. But she lacked that meanness and so all he felt for her was a strange kind of tenderness and even that wasn't enough to stop him using and breaking her whenever he felt like it. Realizing his thoughts were running away with him (in a direction he'd rather not go) InuYasha dragged his attention to the girl in question with great difficulty. She looked smug as if she'd won. The poor dear. As happy as he was that Kagome was finally standing up for herself, there were some glaring holes in her ''plan'' that he'd have to point out to her. But not before he had some fun at her expense.
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Kagome was puzzled. The smug look on the bastard's face seemed to suggest to her that he hadn't understood her at all .He should be looking hurt and shocked. Not like the cat that ate the canary! She took a step towards him,'' Did you get what I said? ''
''Yeah, I get it '', he smirked, ''you want me to leave right? ''
Confusion filled her mind at his uncaring almost callous expression.
Why is he smiling? Why isn't he getting mad?
She prayed for the courage for what she had to say next. She had to be brutally honest. Spare him absolutely nothing. Show him exactly what he was. There would be no soft smile and'' I forgive you'' this time .He did not deserve it.
''It may come as a shock to you InuYasha, but I used to be in love with you''
Whatever he'd been expecting her to say it certainly wasn't that. His smirk was still on his face but it seemed to be frozen there from shock more than anything else.
She took in his dumbfounded expression and smiled sadly.
''Yeah its crazy isn't it'', she sighed, ''I have to admit you're the last guy I expected to fall in love with.''
She wanted to laugh at him. He looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him .He did not want to hear it .Well too bad. She was sick of his games, how he used the silence that shrouded their feelings to take what he could from her.
''You could say it was an accident'' she laughed ruefully, ''I'm not sure how it happened but I have a theory. Wouldn't you like to know InuYasha?''
The Coward looked like he wanted to bolt. His face was red with embarrassment. Even his ears were a fire engine red under all that fur. Did he really think she would spare him?
''Oh it's a really interesting story. I'm sure you'll find it absolutely fascinating;''
His expression became furious. ''Where are you going with this, Kagome?''
Kagome just shot him a sweet innocent smile. ''Oh, I'm just sharing my happiest memories with you. You should be honored InuYasha. Afterall you are my first love. Not Kouga. Not even Houjo. Only you''.
He was angry and embarrassed. but below that, she could sense panic. So he had been aware of her feelings but led her on anyway.
''Why would I ignore men I'd always dreamed of and fall for a selfish arrogant, immature, emotionally constipated jerk?'' Kagome pretended to consider the question.
''Maybe it's because the jerk was good at hiding what he really was'' Kagome took a step forward, glad to see he had taken a step backward. ''Or may be he was good at pretending to be something he wasn't.''
''I don't know which it was InuYasha but I'm sure you can tell me. After all you should know.''
''I don't know what you're talking about.'' He ground out through clenched teeth. His arms hung stiffly by his side .His fists clenched so tightly that she knew his claws were digging into the flesh of his palm. She hoped he bled.
For all his anger, his eyes were locked on the ground. He was afraid or ashamed to face her. Kagome saw his fear and enjoyed it. She had the power to take away everything he loved, crush his spirit if she so chose and it was intoxicating.
How the tables had turned. Now he would beg her to let him stay.
''I never said I loved you Kagome.'' It was a pathetic thing to say and she could tell even he knew it. ''No'', she smiled and her voice was soft and sad, 'You never said that you loved me. I should have known then, what a liar and deceiver you would turn out to be.''
''I never deceived you'', he said in a small weak voice.
''You were a liar and a deceiver. It was half my fault for trusting you. But I loved you and I believed in you''. He flinched. 'Don't you understand what a bastard you were InuYasha? You betrayed my trust .You should know what that feels like .What a horrible horrible thing it is to discover that someone you loved was only using you all along. That your trust meant nothing to them. Nothing at all.''
He raised his head .But his eyes gazed off to the side. Still too much of a coward and a bastard to face her. ''You know my life belongs to Kikyo. I never pretended to –''
''Save it.''she snapped, ''Your life belongs to her and she can have it for all I care.'' her voice was full of disgust ''I don't want it.''
She continued hoping he could feel every last bit of her rage and disgust and hate,'' In fact, I don't want your protection, or even your friendship It seems that was all I ever really had and even that was worthless. Friends don't use and betray each other. As for your love. I never had it and I'm better off without it!''
He raised his head to look at her. As she watched his crushed expression she was only sorry she could do nothing more to hurt him. She told herself he wasn't really sorry for what he'd done to her. That he was only being the deceiving bastard he was so good at being.
His eyes returned to the ground as he asked brokenly,'' What do you want me to do?''
''I wish you'd leave'' she said suddenly too tired to care. The rage and hurt had drained out of her leaving her feeling strangely empty.'' And never come back. I don't want to have to look at your face or hear your voice ever again.''
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InuYasha stood as if he had been turned to stone. He'd never even dreamed that Kagome could hate him so much. But he had heard with his own ears from her own lips just how much she hated him, what a deceiving bastard she thought him to be, how worthless he was. She wanted nothing to do with him anymore. She threw his friendship, protection and love in his face telling him she wanted nothing from him.
He'd heard hate filled words before. It shouldn't hurt so much. But hearing those same words from Kagome's mouth was almost more than he could bear. What was almost as unbearable as Kagome's hate was his own disgust at his actions In his mind he'd made them seem honorable when in truth it was nothing but another disgusting expression of his own selfishness. Hurtful as Kagome's words were he could not escape the fact that they were true. He had lied to her and she had never deserved it. She had shown him kindness and loved him as unconditionally as she could. And what had he done to show her how much he valued her, how much her kindness meant to him? He had called her hurtful names, compared her constantly unfairly to her predecessor. He abandoned her without a thought for her feelings. He'd acted like he owned her though he had no right to control he. He stopped her from continuing her education, he prevented her from visiting her family. He'd flown into a jealous rage every time Kouga came around, selfishly wanting to be the only man in her life. All this without a word of thanks or appreciation for all that she did and sacrificed for him. The thankless bastard hanyou. He had taken and taken yet given nothing in return. It was a testament to Kagome's strength of character that she had stood by him thus far. She had every right to want him gone but it still hurt. It was not only Kagome he would be losing. He would be losing Sango, Miroku and Shippou as well.
The thought of losing all of them filled his body with a cold dread that was sharp as a knife and chill as ice. He became determined to try and convince her to let him stay in any way he could. He couldn't lose them. They were all he had left.
He looked up at Kagome his eyes pleading with her to relent. But not a word escaped his lips. Kagome's eyes were tinged with cold fury as she answered his silent plea, ''What are you waiting for .Why don't you get lost already. Dont't you get it we don't need you around anymore!'' she hissed. His ears pressed into his scalp as if to protect him from every hurtful word. He could not give up. Even if his pride had to be beaten into the ground, even if he had to plead with her, he had to convince her to let him stay. She was trying to protect herself. .He knew she could not hide her true nature forever. Sooner or later she would breakdown. Such-uncaring cruelty was just not her.
He sighed, letting her know he was truly sorry for all the pain he had caused her. ''You hate me. I deserve every bit of it. But we have to destroy Naraku .He's killed so many innocent people .Don't let your hatred of me blind you to that Kagome. We...'' .He quailed at her furious expression but went on desperately '' We have to stick together. Its the only way we can take him on and defeat him'' She was staring at him with an indefinable expression. Hoping that she was beginning to relent he went on ''Please let's work together on this. Sango has to avenge her family. Miroku has to break his curse and I have to avenge Kikyo. After we defeat him, I promise I'll leave and you'll never have to see me again.''
Kagome laughed. It was mocking. InuYasha's heart sank at the heartless sound.
''What makes you think.'' Kagome's voice grew hard '' that I would lift a single finger to help you avenge that pathetic two faced bitch?''
InuYasha was so shocked he actually staggered. Then he recovered himself. Kagome had gone too far .She had no right to insult Kikyo. ''Watch your mouth,'' he growled, ''Just because you're jealous you don't have the right to speak such trash!''
Instead of getting annoyed as he expected her to Kagome actually beamed. ''Aw,'' she cooed. ''InuYasha, still the ever loyal puppy dog. No wonder Kikyo loves to strangle you with your own leash so much!'' InuYasha stared at her .It was as if she had discovered his weakness his every insecurity and now she was hell bent on shooting him with a million arrows. He suddenly knew he could expect no mercy from her. She intended to destroy him with the force of her hatred her withering scorn. And she was not above taking away everything he had cared for.
She went on ruthlessly, '' I'm not jealous of her at all. Thats why I'm so glad that I can finally give you away to her of all people. Believe me, there are no two people in the world who deserve each other more.'' Somehow, he knew her words were not meant to be a compliment. What was more her voice was calm and he could tell she really didn't care any more. It filled him with a strange bitterness Kagome no longer cared if he went off with Kikyo. This more than anything screamed to him that he had lost her.
Kagome went on, her tone uncaring ''As for calling her a pathetic two faced bitch that is truly what she was and still is. I'm ashamed that in a past life I was her I keep hoping its all some kind of mistake.''
''I don't have to stand here and listen to this' he said angrily. Kagome was wrecking the pedestal on which he had mounted Kikyo's memory. He didn't want to hear what Kagome had to say. It would ruin the fantasy he had created in his head. Kikyo was the kind priestess who loved a lonely hated Hanyou .Her people's beloved priestess, who was murdered. Her life was brutally cut short. She had never deserved it. Kagome obviously didn't buy it for a second because she went on, uncaring and heartless 'I can't respect a woman who was willing to risk the lives of innocent villagers who loved and trusted her just to make her stupid dream come true. I don't care how lonely she was. Planning to give away a dangerous object like the shikon no tama to a demon she didn't even trust.'' InuYasha winced. There was no arguing with that. ''Was not only stupid and selfish. ''Kagome's voice went on mercilessly 'It was irresponsible and dangerous. The shikon no tama was given to her to guard .It was not her personal property to use as she pleased. It was Midoriko's soul for Kami's sake!'' InuYasha wished he could block his ears with clay. Keep out every damning word. Every dream, every memory, every belief Kagome was ruthlessly ripping to shreds. 'It's a good thing Naraku killed her and spared the villagers. If he hadn't their blood would be on your precious Kikyo's hands. I refuse'' her eyes blazed with open contempt ''to let myself or my friends risk our lives for the sake of a common thief and murderess!''
''You admired her too'', he accused, eager to bring her own double standards before her eyes. Kagome smiled. It was a smile tinged with regret. ''But I loved you then. I was thankful to her for being there for you when you needed someone.''
Her face was open and for the first time he saw the true extent of what he'd done. Her eyes held such sadness, such deep loneliness he suddenly couldn't look anymore. He'd done that. He'd broken her so thoroughly. And now she was returning the favor at last Her face closed up as she continued, ''Now that I'm not in love with you any more I can stop trying to give a shit about her''. She laughed, ''And it feels so damn good. There's nothing to understand about her except that she's selfish and she doesn't really care about helping us complete our quest .She's a bother and a nuisance. Even after dying, she hasn't learned her lesson at all. She's still the arrogant selfish bitch she was ,doing what she pleases, not giving a damn about the consequences her actions and decisions have on other people''
InuYasha said nothing. There was nothing he could say to defend Kikyo. But he couldn't bear to look at her through Kagome's eyes either. So he told himself that Kikyo was wonderful and Kagome just didn't understand her It seemed Kagome was not yet done with tearing up his heart. ''Oh I almost forgot about the crap you used to spout about Kikyo dying for you I'll tell you why she did it,'' Kagome's smile was warm as if she were enjoying a huge joke. ''She did it because she was too much of a coward to face the consequences of what she'd done.'' Kagome brought her hand to her chin as if in deep thought, a move reminiscent of Miroku. ''Or maybe she was just glad to leave her sister an orphan and die with the bastard who destroyed her village.''
InuYasha put up his hand in a gesture of weak surrender, ''I get it .I don't want to hear anymore''
''And you wont. Its not as if I want to talk about her. But here's one last warning for you InuYasha. So listen well-''Her tone was serious .He wondered what more she had to throw at his already battered heart. ''One of the best things about getting rid of you? We don't have to put up with her any more She stole the jewel and handed it over to Naraku and you forgave her .Didn't you InuYasha?'' He looked her in the eye. .He was tired of being treated like a criminal. Sure Kagome had every right to do it but that didn't mean he had to put up with it Yeah so he was a selfish bastard and so was Kikyo by the look of things. Who the hell was Kagome to judge them? Kagome, his treacherous mind whispered, was the girl who'd always given a shit about something other than herself, the only one among the three of them who possessed real kindness and common decency. She was also the only one who'd played by the rules and acted with honor. Some of the bluster got knocked out of him and he answered her sullenly, 'Yes''
'' Tell me InuYasha, did you have any right to forgive her? The jewel did not belong to you alone. We all worked hard and risked our lives to collect those shards. The right to forgive or punish Kikyo should have belonged to all of us. But you have always been a selfish bastard who never could see beyond his own pathetic ass.'' InuYasha nodded dully not even shocked anymore at Kagome's language. All her hatred and scorn had piled over his heart forming a barrier so thick that the pain of her other jibes had seemed distant and dull. He couldn't feel the pain .In fact he didn't think he would ever be able to feel anything ever again. If Kagome wanted to break him, she had succeeded beyond her wildest dreams
''I have to protect myself from now on so I have to warn you, if Kikyo tries any shit or if she tries to kill me'' InuYasha looked up shocked ''She tried to kill you!''
Kagome nodded, ''Its true'' she said rubbing her forehead as if all the talking was giving her a headache, ''I didn't tell you because I wanted to spare you the pain.'' Her tone became sarcastic,'' And what would you have done? '' she taunted him, ''You don't give a shit about anything but yourself remember.''
InuYasha wanted to shake her till her teeth rattled in her head. How could she judge him because of a few impulsive things he'd done. he raged silently. He was not a monster who'd forgive Kikyo even though she'd tried to murder Kagome! And in any case, he hadn't even known! How the Hell was that his fault?
''I'm warning you if she tries any of her shit again I'm going to put an arrow straight through her pathetic skull.'', she snorted'' I don't care that I have shitty aim. If she tries to undo any of the work we have risked our lives to do I will hunt her down and I will kill her even if I have to put an arrow through you to do it!''
Her eyes shone with deadly intent and he knew she meant every word she'd said.
''This quest is not only about you .If she does anything to set back or hurt Sango or Miroku I will punish her and you too. Consider yourself warned''
With a toss of her head, her long hair whipping out behind her she spun around to leave. InuYasha panicked. Kagome was leaving. And his last chance at staying with the group was going with her. Stop her! his mind screamed Do what you have to, to make her believe in you again…..love you again! Panicking he did the first thing his frantic mind was telling him to do. More than anything Kagome had been hurt because she thought he didn't care about her, that he'd never loved her .He stepped forward and grabbed her hand. Kagome gasped and turned around in outrage her hand raised as if she wanted to slap him. He grabbed her other hand and dragged her forward straight into his chest. Kagome struggled to free herself thrashing like a crazed animal .But his grip was like a vice. Finally, she raised her face to his her eyes burning with fury her features twisted with rage. Her mouth opened probably to tell him he was a bastard and that she hated him. InuYasha bent forward and pressed his lips to hers.
Her lips were soft and sweet just like Kagome herself or rather like the Kagome who'd loved him. Her body held tightly to his was warm and full of life as she fought to free herself from his hold. He could almost hear her blood red and hot gushing through her veins and even the strong rapid beating of her heart within her chest. She was so alive and real. And all he wanted to do was be alive and real with her. Hold her tight and never ever let her go. He wanted to laugh at himself
Crazy nothing but a crazy confused ass
Maybe he did love her. His feelings were so jumbled up and confused. he didn't want her but he needed her, she was annoying but he hated to be away from her for even a day; he insulted or ignored her when she was near and missed her crazily when she was not; she didn't belong to him but he would gladly tear Kouga's arm for daring to touch her. Most of all he hated her for loving him for making him care about her. Her meekness and submissiveness disgusted him. And so he pushed her and tormented her until out of pure frustration she sat him. That Kagome did not scare him. But this Kagome did. She hated him and she felt no heartache at the thought of leaving him. Abruptly he realized he was in love with her. He was sure he'd fallen in love with her after barely a week of knowing her. He'd fallen for a spitfire not a sweetheart. The spunky girl who'd put her face in his and yelled at him, making sure he got her name right. The girl who wasn't fazed at the sight of bloodshed, who'd been willing to risk her life to save the soul of a vengeful spirit. The fiery wench who stood up to Sesshoumaru for his sake. The same spitfire was currently fighting him with everything she had. He easily avoided her knee when she tried to slam it into his crotch Her arms sandwiched between their bodies were useless but she was still trying to dig her nails into his chest. It didn't hurt him at all. Her nails were small and blunt and his trusty fire rat had protected him from worse. He dug his fingers into the glossy tresses at the base of her neck and pulled her to him, kissing her hard. His body pleaded with hers …
Please….don't fight this…
And she stopped fighting. Her body went limp. The fingers that wanted to tear into his chest stilled. The calm lasted only a moment. Her small hands fisted in his Haori. To his great shock, Kagome pulled him closer! The snarling teeth that stubbornly refused to unclench were gone .In their place his lips met soft lips and a warm mouth. Half stunned he loosened his hold. Freed, her arms came over his shoulders to settle tightly around his neck. She wouldn't let him go. Not that he had even the slightest intention of leaving. When her sweet mouth opened with a soft smack beneath his he found that he was shaking. No kiss from any woman living or dead had ever made him feel this way. Kagome. She was all he could taste, touch or smell. Nothing else existed for him. No Naraku. No Kikyo. No Jewel. All he wanted to do was drown in her sweetness and die. She could have asked for any thing and he would have gladly given it to her. He would stop seeing Kikyo if it made her happy, he'd let her stay in her world for as long as she wanted he'd even be nice to Kouga and Shippou .If only she would forgive him and let him stay. He almost smirked. Kagome still loved him. She could never really hate him or resist him. Her passionate kiss proved it.
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Kagome had imagined many ways this encounter could go. Ending up being kissed was not one of them. His actions had completely taken her by surprise .Yet a voice in her head had been screaming to her. Get away. Before you end up doing something you'll regret! So she fought him with everything she had. She was not going to be fooled by his lies .Not anymore! There was a part of her that she was desperately trying to ignore. A small part of her that she was horrified still existed. This voice begged her to forgive him. She grit her teeth and screamed at it to shut the hell up! Forgive the bastard who used her? Lied to her? Never! Once before he had played with her feelings to steal the jewel and push her into the well. Stupid lovesick moron that she'd been, she'd rushed into his arms telling him she'd missed him. Well she was not that fool any more. Remembering how much she hated him made his kiss feel dirty. She didn't want this with him .It felt like a violation .But he was too strong …she'd never get away. Giving up she slumped in his arms. His kiss became more aggressive and Kagome gave in to it. What did he want from her? Why couldn't he be fucking honest for once? When she'd loved him it wasn't enough. Now she hated him and he wanted her to love him. What was he trying to do? Drive her insane? He wanted insane? She'd give him insane. She'd pour everything she felt for him into her kiss. She opened her mouth ….
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…..and slammed down hard with her teeth. Sputtering blood , he yelped and pushed away from her. InuYasha spat out blood and stared at her in shock. His cheeks burned where she scratched him with her nails as he tried to pull away from her. Kagome spat on the ground. Her voice shook with barely contained fury. ''I don't want you ,you fucking corpse kisser!'' And she spat again just to show him how much she didn't want him. ''What are you now -a rapist as well?''
InuYasha looked away , suddenly ashamed. It had never occurred to him that he was forcing Kagome. He'd been so confident that she wanted him. He was wrong. She didn't. Not any more. She was hugging herself as if she was trying to protect herself. Against what? Him? He wondered bitterly. There was nothing he could do to hurt her .She'd made sure of that.
''Kagome-chan.'' They both turned at the sound of her voice. Sango stood looking worried. ''Are you all right?''
''I'm okay''
Sango eyed her rumpled clothing and mussed hair dubiously. To his great shock she shot him a suspicion filled glance. ''He didn't hurt you?'' He didn't have to look at Kagome to know that she was glaring at him hatefully. ''No''
''Did you tell him?'' InuYasha looked up stunned at the sound of Miroku's voice. They'd all been in on it? He should have been expecting it. After all Kagome couldn't kick him out unless they had all agreed to it. Their betrayal still felt like a punch in the gut. Unable to contain his fury he spat out at his so called friends. ''You guys want me to leave too?''
''Yes, we want you to leave.'' Sango looked almost as furious as Kagome. ''Just like a demon to betray and hurt those who trust him.''
Miroku looked like he actually sympathized with him but was too scared of the girls to say anything. In any case he didn't say a word in his favour.
''What are you going on about? I didn't betray anyone.''
''Yes you did'' It was Sango who spoke out. Even Kagome looked at her in surprise. ''You led Kagome-chan on. Then you cheated on her.''
Supremely irritated, Inu Yasha ground out. ''When did I ever lead her on. For the fucking final time I never once said I loved her!''
''You didn't love her but you were always angry when Kouga came around. What gave you the right to get jealous then?'' InuYasha was speechless.
Sango put her hands on her hips and glared at him. ''You didn't say you loved her .But when she asked you if you still loved Kikyo you told her to have more confidence in you .I was there when you said that.''
Kagome gave him a bitter smile. She'd managed to get them all on her side.
Miroku gave a long suffering sigh, ''InuYasha , Kagome-sama was very hurt by your perceived'' Sango snorted. ''Your perceived betrayal.''
Kagome smiled sweetly.''I told them I didn't want to work with you anymore and that I would leave if they stayed with you.''
''And you guys chose to kick me out.''
Miroku shot him a glance full of pity. ''Please try to understand, InuYasha .Kagome-sama reminded us that the only other person with the ability to see shards and purify them was Kikyo.''
''Considering her past record, we can't trust her''
''And we don't trust you either since your loyalty is to her,'' Sango added.
''My loyalty is to her ?'' Inuyasha spat. ''What about your loyalty to kohaku?''
Sango's gaze was steely. ''If he ever hurts any one I'll kill him with my own hand. This much I can pledge. I cant force him to live a half life. Kikyou is running around stealing souls and she gave the jewel to Naraku. Can you promise to fight her the next time we meet her?'' Inuyasha gritted his teeth and looked at the ground.
At his silence she smiled grimly. ''I didn't think so.''
They'd planned it all out. How they were gonna kick him out. There was one thing they hadn't planned for. He looked up, feeling his confidence returning to him.
''That's all great and everything. But aren't you forgetting something'', he smirked.
Kagome frowned, ''Oh and what's that?''
''How you gonna smell Naraku stink without dog demon nose?'' he grinned smugly. ''No stink no trail.''
Her answering smile was full of pity. ''And that's the best part.,'' she grinned back.
''Who needs dog demon when you can get wolf demon and full youkai at that!''
InuYasha's face froze, ''Kouga?''
''But you wont have tessaiga!''
''It's a chance we're willing to take.''
''Kouga's not strong enough. YOU'RE WILLING TO RISK THEIR LIVES JUST BECAUSE YOU HATE ME!'' He couldn't remember the last time he'd been so angry at anyone.
''Don't flatter yourself InuYasha '',Sango growled. ''We can protect ourselves just fine.''
''Besides, I thought it would be nice to be selfish for a change.'' That was Kagome, looking relaxed and calm.
She smiled one of those annoyingly sweet smiles as if she was actually doing him a favour by kicking him out. ''You should be thanking us, InuYasha. Now you can finally die with Kikyou as you always wanted to''
''I swear'', her eyes were hard and pitiless. ''If I see her trying to drag you to hell again, I will wave and give her a big thumbs up.''
Sango smiled sweetly as well. ''Kagome-chan told us what you said to Kikyou. We don't want to stand in the way of such a pure love.''
''You can't exactly ''risk'' your life for Kikyou if you're hanging around with us now ,can you'' Kagome smiled as she used her fingers as quotation marks. Her eyes ,hard and hateful, said what she really wanted to say.
Time to walk the talk, InuYasha .Time to keep all your promises.