Disclaimer: Nickelodean uses Lawsuit Threat.
It's super effective!
Enjoy :)
Zuko, Katara, Aang and Toph were in the fortune-teller's village, on the giant mountain.
Zuko, irritable as usual, asked the question that was on everyone's minds.
"Aang, why the hell are we here? I have important things to do, or did you forget that I am currently proud owner of a nation?"
"What Sparky said." Zuko glared at Toph.
"You aren't running a nation."
"Guys, this is important," stated Aang, " This volcano is due to erupt in," He looked at the sun, " about 1 minute. I want to try something."
"Get to the point, Twinkletoes."
"Aang, what do you want us to try?"
Aang grinned.
"Lava-bending!"
Zuko stared.
Katara stared.
Toph picked her nose.
"So, what are Katara and Toph doing here? Isn't Lava fire?"
"No, it's molten rock. That's me."
"Actually, lava is a liquid. So that falls in my department."
"What? No way, Sugarqueen!"
"That's why you're all here," explained Aang calmly, "So I can figure out which element it belongs to."
"Uh, Aang?"
"Yeah, Zuko?"
"Don't you control all the elements? Why are any of us here?"
"Well, there is a very good explanation for that," said Aang, eyeing the sun, " And that explanation is-"
BOOM! Lava poured from the volcano.
"Whoops, out of time! Lets go! Katara, you go first!"
"But-"
"Quiet, Zuko! Quit pointing out the plot holes!"
Katara stepped forward, and tried to move the liquid fire with graceful, flowing movements.
It didn't work, and the lava incinerated her.
The three survivors stood there for a minute. Then Toph shrugged.
"I never really liked her, anyway."
Aang and Zuko agreed.
"Right, okay, your turn, Toph."
Toph began to try to move the lava, using mutiple stances and strong punches.
It didn't work, and Aang earthbended her out of the way.
"Why didn't you do that with Katar-"
"Quiet, Zuko! It's your turn!"
Zuko tried firebending the lava with strong and graceful movements, a combination of the strength of earthbending and the grace of waterbending. A flawless display of agility and power.
Aang barely got him out of the way before the lava incinerated him, like Katara.
"So what's lava?" Aang was extremely confused.
Suddenly, the lava rose into a giant wave. On top was a tiny figure, holding a long stick of some sort.
Sokka.
"LAVA IS SWORD!" He screamed as the wave burned the fortune-teller's town of Pompeii into ashes and metamorphic rock.
The he laughed maniacally, "Didn't know THAT was coming, now DID YOU, MISS FORTUNE TELLER? I HATE THAT PLACE! MWAHAHAHAHAH!"
Aang was still confused.
"But that doesn't even make any sense..."
A/N: I'm pretty sure this is defined as a crackfic. It sure was fun to write, though. I was watching the episode with the fortuneteller, and wondering what element lava was. It's ROCK, SUPERHEATED into a LIQUID. Then I figured Sokka deserved to lavabend, since he hates that town, and right afterwards he caught Stupid from the townspeople. Katara caught it to, but I don't like her much. You can tell because she died.
Any flames that follow the basic idea of, 'U SUCKK HURR DURR DERP KATARA WUZ AWSUM!'
will be completely ignored, but if they follow the basic idea of, ' I like Katara, so that kind of ruined the story for me.' will be duly noted. Or at least read.
Thank you,
Yours,
Vtree.