AN: My friend started this...she is such a...UGHH! THERE ARE NO WORDS!

So it started out with innocent little me checking my email when I see my buddy from school sent me something. Excited, I opened the email. It started out friendly enough, then that's when I saw the link...2 Girls, 1 Cup.

I watched the entire thing because I was too traumatized to close the window. This is the second time she's scarred me for life. The first time we were in the seventh grade in Digital Art. She calls me over. Knowing her and computers, I ask, "Is it anything gross?" "Naw, man. It's cool." It was a VERY high quality picture of a blue waffle...FML

Disclaimer: I don't own the Internet, nor do I own the characters of Naruto.

"Hey, fudge-packer."

I turned around to face my pale friend, giving him the eye I so failed at. He pushed me aside and sat on the couch next to me, his laptop in hand.

"Dude, check this out. It's the grossest thing I've ever seen…" his fingers flew over his mouse-pad and clicked a few times before we were on his friend's blog.

I watched the screen carefully, waiting for something freaky to break out.

"Oh, wait. Lemme get the camera…" and off he went, to get his mini camcorder as I sat stupid on the couch.

"Orochimaru, what are you doing?" I pestered, trying to hit the play button. Orochimaru swatted my hand away and returned to setting the camera somewhere it would capture the majority of my face. He looked in the viewfinder and pressed some buttons, turned the thing, and centered it.

"Alright, just watch-."

"What's the camera for?"

"You'll wanna see your face after this, Jiraiya…" Famous last words.

Orochimaru patted my shoulder as he clicked the play button, winking as the music came on.

It was a kind of soft music, classic with a piano playing high in the background.

And then it started.

"Whoa," I felt my eyes widen at the site. Before me, was the holy grail of turn-ons: two chicks going at it.

They were licking each other and one started-

"Aww dude, that's her boob!"

Orochimaru just laughed.

"Keep watching."

What I saw next was too horrendous for words.

I'm all about the ladies, trust me. But that…if you could even describe it as a 'that', was just…

"Oh my god…"

The music got softer and the girls got closer. I could feel something tickling the back of my throat, something thick and burning – I was going to throw up.

"They're eating it like ice cream!" I crammed my fist in my mouth, hoping it would keep the vomit down.

"Keep watching, it gets better," now I know how sick of a freak Orochimaru is. Now I know not to look under his bed, I can't even begin to imagine all the crap he must have under there.

Just as I was starting to feel the vomit falter, one of the girls started throwing up on the other, while the other girl's mouth was open.

"Ahhhhh! Dude, no! No, no! That's sick!"

Orochimaru was rolling with laughter as I tried wriggling away from the laptop. But he had me good. My playboy T-shirt was too valuable to lose; I wouldn't allow his pale little paws to steal it from me.

"Keep watching!"

"I don't want to!"

Then the brunette started rubbing against the other, vomit and…other bodily fluids caking her.

"Dude, why?"

And then the music stopped and the screen went dark. It was only then that I noticed I had chewed through the skin on my hand and was bleeding in my mouth. I pulled out my fist and saw three knuckles were either cut up or bloody. Orochimaru was laughing so hard I thought he was going to suffocate.

That's when he got up and went for the camera, pressing a button and picking it up.

"Now you gotta see your face."

She even told me to tape my reaction, too! I'm too gullible... *sad-face*