Summary: Kathryn Janeway has an interesting evening.
AN: Just something silly I randomly came up with. Also, I have no idea if sonic showers have shower curtains, but let's pretend they do.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, sadly. But I'd love to have a Chakotay in my shower.
Toothpaste
Kathryn Janeway glanced at the chronometer. The harsh green light burned into her eyes.
24:17 hours.
She sighed. Her shift had ended hours ago. She had come back to her quarters afterwards, thinking she would read a book and indulge in a bubble bath, but for once in her life, her stomach had gotten the best of her. Hearing the growl from her insides, she had then dragged herself to the mess hall to see what kind of dreadful fare Neelix had conjured up this time.
Unfortunately, dreadful had been precisely the right word.
She had sat with Samantha Wildman and little Naomi, and they talked and laughed and ate—well, pretended to eat—and then she had made her way back to her quarters.
She had only spent about forty-five minutes in the mess hall.
So what had she been doing the rest of the time?
Oh, right.
She had asked the replicator for a cup of coffee, and the demonic thing had sputtered and sparked until it replicated a cup—that was it, just a cup. Without any coffee in it. Frustrated, she had kicked the damn machine with her boot, which of course caused it to stop working completely.
She had then taken it apart and put it back together—twice.
Her tinkering had worked—sort of. The replicator had finally made some coffee, but it had tasted worse than anything Neelix had ever produced. Since luck had seemed to escape her, she had decided to forgo the coffee and finally take a bath.
She had turned the faucet.
Nothing.
"Oh for god's sake, what now?" she had mumbled to herself. After fiddling with the faucet for some time, she had given up, making a mental note to admonish engineering about it in the morning, and had opted for a sonic shower.
Now she sat in her living area in her soft pink nightgown and robe, her thick auburn hair pulled into a side braid—and she had no idea how it could possibly be 24:17 hours.
She sighed again. Might as well go to bed, she thought as she stood and padded to the bathroom in her bare feet.
She picked up her toothbrush and grabbed the tube of toothpaste. She squeezed gently.
Nothing.
There was no toothpaste.
She tried again, but to no avail.
"Ughhhh!" she wailed, throwing the empty tube across the room.
She couldn't go to bed without brushing her teeth. It had nearly the same disastrous effects on her mood as not starting her day with a cup of coffee.
Grunting angrily, she marched back out into the living area and came to a halt in front of her replicator.
"Mint toothpaste," she ordered.
"Insufficient rations," the computer replied, almost snarkily.
Kathryn sighed deeply, closed her eyes, and pinched the bridge of her nose. How the hell was she supposed to brush her teeth at this late hour?
Suddenly, she remembered—the beta shift had only ended about twenty minutes ago. Chakotay would still be awake.
She stormed out her door and down the hall to his quarters, nightgown, bare feet, and all. There was no time to be professional; she was a woman on a mission.
She rang the chime and waited a few moments.
Nothing.
She furrowed her brow and rang again.
Nothing.
"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay."
"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters," the computer chirped back at her happily.
Taking a breath, she punched in her access code and the doors swooshed open before her.
He wasn't in the living area. She walked slowly, quietly to the bedroom and poked her head in.
He wasn't there either.
Then she heard it: the familiar whine of the sonic shower behind the closed bathroom doors.
No matter, she thought. I'll just pop in, explain myself, grab the toothpaste and run. It's not like their shelter on New Earth had been very private, after all, and Chakotay was her best friend.
She rapped on the door. "Chakotay?"
Chakotay froze when he heard the familiar and delicate sound of her voice. Why was Kathryn in his quarters at this time of night? And why was she knocking on his bathroom door while he was showering? Did something happen? Was she all right?
"Uh, yes? Kathryn?" he replied with concern.
The doors parted and she took one step inside before they closed behind her. "I need toothpaste," she said as-a-matter-of-factly.
"Toothpaste," he repeated, distracted by her presence. "Uh, sure, it's to the left of the sink." He didn't even have to ask why she needed his toothpaste. He already knew she had spent all of her rations on coffee. Just like all the other times she needed things from him.
Kathryn spotted the toothpaste on the counter. She made her way a few more steps into the bathroom, swiped the tube, and turned to leave when she heard something—someone—calling from the other room.
"Mister Chakotay! Mister Chakotay? Commander?" came the voice.
Her eyes grew wide like a deer caught in headlights. Her face paled. She knew who that voice belonged to.
Neelix.
"Shit," she whispered to herself. She had no idea what Neelix was doing in Chakotay's quarters at this hour, or how he had even gotten in—actually, she didn't want to know. But there was no way he could find her in here or else the whole crew would know about it faster than warp ten. She was aware of the rumor mill and betting pools about herself and Chakotay, but the last thing she wanted was to add fuel to the fire.
She glanced frantically around the room. How could she escape? The hatch to the Jefferies tube was in the living area, so that wasn't an option. She could get a site-to-site transport, but that would require speaking, which would tip Neelix off to her presence.
"Commander?"
The voice was right outside the door now. Chakotay finally heard the intrusive little Talaxian over the sound of the sonic shower.
"Um, Neelix?" he called out. Kathryn intruding on his privacy was one thing—and one thing he didn't mind; Neelix, however, was quite another. "What do you want?"
Taking the question to be permission for entry, Neelix stepped forward and the doors began to slide open. Kathryn panicked and did the first thing that she could think of.
She threw back the curtain and dove into the shower before haphazardly pulling it shut behind her.
Her eyes adjusted to her new surroundings.
Only one word managed to buzz through her mind.
Naked.
Oh god, he was naked.
Chakotay nearly choked on his own saliva. He stared at her, dumbfounded by her sudden appearance in his shower. She stared at him, trying in vain to not let her eyes wander farther down than they should. Finally, she furrowed her brow and brought her index finger to her lips, signaling a very serious shhhhhh.
"Commander, I am sorry to bother you," said Neelix as he entered the bathroom, "but you didn't approve tomorrow's special breakfast, and you know I start preparing and cooking in the very early hours. I tried to comm you first, but you didn't respond…"
Kathryn put her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. She knew where this was headed—Neelix was the king babble. They could be here for hours. Chakotay continued to stare at her as he wondered what higher power he could have possibly pleased to wind up with Kathryn Janeway in his shower.
"So then I asked the computer where you were, and it said your quarters, but I rang the chime and you didn't answer. Tom Paris happened to walk by, in his pajamas, I don't know what he was doing, but he helped me break in. He's good at things like that, you know."
"Yes, Neelix," Chakotay said robotically. His brain function had slowed significantly—clearly, the blood was rushing elsewhere—and his only train of thought at the moment was that Kathryn Janeway was in his shower.
"Right, well, if you would be so kind, Mister Chakotay, sir, and approve—"
"Approved!" Chakotay cut him off, his voice raised, his eyes never leaving Kathryn. He needed Neelix out. Now. "Actually, do whatever you want! Use all the leola root you need! Put it in everything!"
Kathryn grimaced at the mention of leola root and stuck her tongue out at Chakotay in disgust. The sight of her tongue sent his brain—and other parts—into even more of a tizzy. Spirits, how was this happening? Best not to question it, he thought wryly.
Neelix smiled broadly, clutching tightly at the padd he had brought with him. "Oh, thank you, Commander! I can't wait! Captain Janeway will be so pleased!" He puttered out of the bathroom, the doors sealing shut behind him.
"I bet she will," Chakotay said through gritted teeth, taking a step towards Kathryn. She was already against the back wall of the shower and had nowhere else to move. Her eyes grew wide as he took another step.
Kathryn cleared her throat once she was certain Neelix was out of earshot. "Uh, well, thanks for the toothpaste, Commander," she said, holding up the toothpaste tube and averting her eyes. Before she could make a swift exit, he plucked the tube from her hand and threw it over the shower curtain rod.
"You're not getting my toothpaste," he said as he gripped her upper arms. She flinched slightly at his touch, but made no effort to move.
"But… I can't go to bed without brushing my teeth," she protested.
Chakotay let out a menacing chuckle. "Oh, you're not going to bed," he said. "You know why? Because I just agreed to let Neelix use leola root in everything, and it's your fault. So now you have to stay awake and think about what you've done."
Kathryn lifted her chin and gave him a death glare worthy of the Kazon armada.
"Your death glare isn't going to work on me, Kathryn" he said. "Try again."
She inhaled sharply, then allowed her shoulders to sag in defeat. She had certainly had enough for one evening; all she wanted to do was brush her teeth and go to sleep. Instead of arguing, she decided to take a different approach. "Chakotay, please let me use your toothpaste. I'll do whatever you want. Crew rotations, beta shift, approving Neelix's endless list of requests. Name it."
Chakotay thought for a moment before pressing his entire body into hers with a smirk. "Well, since you're here, there is something you can help me with..."
FIN