Makai Rituals
SFCP: This is what happens when Me, SG and SW get together on the may 24 weekend with a hammock, frogs, water bottles and sugar. Oh and candy apple pop.
SG: I will get you…Froggy McFrogington the sly.
SW: Okay then…onwards!
Disclaimer: We do not own anything but the insane plot and the tree characters Loretta, Catrin, and Lakota
The scene starts out with two girls lying on a hammock…in front of a green fence.
"Oh holy fence, we pray to thee, who separates our worlds from loneliness and boredom from construction and rebuilding. Oh holy fence we pray to thee because we are dumb asses and have nothing better to do. Oh glory be to the fence Oh glory be to the fence." They chanted while swinging back and forth on the hammock while doing 'superman'. Just then a crazy lady known as Loretta, came running out of the tent they were planning on sleeping in.
"WATER McWATERTON! WHERE ARE YOU!" She fell to the ground sobbing.
"First Froggy McFrogington…then sleepy Mcsleepingbagington, then pillow Mcpillowington…now you? Why is the world so cruel?" She sobbed beside the hammock.
"Um Loretta? What's wrong?" One of the two fence praying girls known as Catrin asked.
"Everything I love disappears!" She cried.
"No offence, but I don't think I love you anymore." Lakota said from beside Catrin.
"WHAT? NOT YOU TOO!" She wailed.
"HEY! Maybe if you come pray to the fence with us…they'll come back!" Catrin said.
"YES then we can love you again." Lakota smiled.
"Ok!" Loretta said cheerfully and jumped onto the hammock beside Lakota.
"Ok…the prayer is right in front of you…just chant along with us as best you can. Ok?"
"OK!" They started chanting yet again neglecting to notice the large black hole surrounding the hammock and fence. It was a portal…but they don't know that.
"Oh holy fence, we pray to thee, who separates our worlds from loneliness and boredom from construction and rebuilding. Oh holy fence we pray to thee.." They landed in the middle of a forest, in front of four guys, sitting around a campfire. One was green, one was ugly, one had long hair and the other looked like a fox…ok then. They not noticing their situation, kept chanting.
"Because we are dumb asses and have nothing better to d…what the fuck?" Catrin and Lakota said finally noticing where they were. Loretta however, kept chanting.
"Oh glory be to the fence Oh glory be to the fence." She finished and looked up.
"So do you think I'll get water McWaterton back soon?" She asked looking around.
"Whoa, where are we?"
"NO! NO DON'T TURN AROUND…She turned around." Lakota covered her ears to dull the yell that echoed around them.
"BISHI!" She yelled launching herself at the fox guy. And started playing with his ears.
"No. No, Loretta don't!" Lakota tried to stop her but to no avail until Catrin stepped forward and pulled out of her subspace pocket, a cloud plushie with removable pants. Oh ya and he squeals when you squeeze him.
"CLOUD PANTS!"
"What the hell?" The 'fox boy' asked looking scared.
"Um, well last time she met up with a bishounen,"
#Flashback#
Cloud and Sephiroth sitting at a table eating breakfast. They both reach for the butter at the same time. They glare at each other until cloud says,
"Wanna fight for it?" Suddenly three girls fall onto the table. Enter Loretta, Catrin and Lakota. All you hear for miles was
"BISHIE WITH COOL PANTS!" And thus, She kidnapped cloud, and stole his pants. Catrin and Lakota had to replace him with a doll and return him to his "friend". They gave him back his pants too.
#End Flashback. #
"What is it with us and falling into random worlds?" Lakota asked looking around.
"WITH BISHIES!" Loretta yelled enthusiastically.
"Dunno. Maybe we're compatible with strange things. What does compatible mean anyway?" Catrin asked as Lakota and Loretta rolled their eyes.
"Don't hurt yourself trying sweetie." Loretta said patting her on the back.
"Who the hell are you?" The long haired dude demanded.
"Dude, you need a haircut." Lakota said with a raised eyebrow.
"And so do you fox boy." She said looking him over.
"Oh no you don't. I happen to like the hair. Come to think of it…I want to play with it." Loretta pounced on the unfortunate kitsune, when Catrin spoke up.
"Hey…It don't sound like we're speaking English here." She said with suspicion in her voice.
"Come to really think of it, I think we're speaking,"
"JAPANESE!" They all yelled at once.
"Cool. Can I still speak French?" Lakota asked wonderingly.
"I dunno. Try."
"Ok! Parle vous francais fluante?" She asked turning to the bishies.
"Huh?" Was their oh-so-intelligent reply.
:"Huh guess not."
"Well, if we're stuck here, we might be stuck here for a while. So I say we do introductions now."
"I say we don't. I say we find…WATER McWATERTON!" Loretta started balling at the memory of her precious missing water bottle. Catrin smiled slyly at Lakota.
"Oh no, you didn't." She said with a desperate tone in her voice.
"Oh, yes. I did." Catrin replied smirking. Loretta finally clued in.
"GIMME BACK WATER McWATERTON! NOW!"
"I killed it."
"You...Killed…him?" Loretta said with terror in her voice.
"Nope just kidding." She said pulling 'water McWaterton' out of her vest pocket.
"YES!THE HOLY FENCE DID GRANT MY WISH!" She turned to the boys.
"So what's your names?"
"Yoko."
"Yusuke"
"I AM THE GREAT KUWABARA!"
"Right…you keep thinking that hun…I'm sure it'll come true some day…" Lakota said backing away slowly.
"And the anti social one is Hiei."
"Hiei, Yusuke, Yoko Kurama, and Kuwabaka…hey these names sound familiar…" Loretta said.
"I wanna try something. Hey Dimwit!"
"Yes?" Yusuke answered.
"HA! I KNOW! You guys are from Yu Yu Hakusho! I watch that show!" Loretta said happily.
"We're on a show?" Yoko asked.
"Yup Yup! People can see everything you do. In fact, they're probably watching us right now.
"HIEI McHIEITON!" Loretta yelled.
"Oh god, your going to go missing." Lakota said covering her eyes.
#real world#
"Dude…What's going on? Who are the weird chicks?" Some random guy asked from his spot in front of his television set.
#back to Makai.#
"Any ways, no biggie." Lakota said sitting down against a tree. The others shrugged and sat down around the fire in a circle. All except Hiei, who sat in a tree. No body said anything, so Catrin and Loretta started humming a tune from a camp song called the other day. Lakota looked thoughtful and soon started singing under her breath.
"Whatcha singing?" Yusuke asked her. She grinned and gave a knowing glance at Catrin and Loretta. They nodded saying they got the message, and started singing.
"There is a tree across from me. A great big tree, across from me. Oh glory god there is a tree, a great big tree across from me All hail the tree."
"Your parents must not think very highly of you guys." Yoko commented from his spot against the great big tree across from Lakota.
" On the contrary," She said in a sing song voice. "MYYYY mommy says I'm special, My daddy says I'm smart, but what they know is nothing, cuz we're 14 years apart!" Catrin picked up where Lakota left off.
"My friends they call me clueless, and this I know is true, cuz broccoli is defeated by mushrooms that are blue!" Loretta sang the last verse.
"Some call me a loser, and some call me a freak, but then you know it's really me when you hear cloud go eep! YAY CLOUDS PANTS!" She finished off. The boys…er...demons looked at them like they were crazy.
"Wanna hear a camp song?" Catrin asked.
"No." Was Hiei's short answer.
"Too bad!" Catrin said happily.
" Three little angels all dressed in white, tried to get to heaven on the end of a kite" All three girls joined in. "Kite it got broken down they all fell. Instead of going to heaven they all went to, two little angels all dressed in white, tried to get to heaven on the end of a kite, kite it got broken down they all fell. Instead of going to heaven, they all went to, one little angel all dressed in white, tried to get to heaven on the end of a kite, kite it got broken down they all fell, instead of going to heaven they all went to………Three little devils all dressed in red, tried to get to heaven on the end of a thread, thread it got broken down they all fell, instead of going to heaven, they all went to, two little devils all dressed in red, tried to get to heaven on the end of a thread, thread it got broken down they all fell. Instead of going to heaven, they all went to, one little devil all dressed in red, tried to get to heaven on the end of a thread, thread it got broken down they all fell. Instead of going to heaven they all went to…………Three little Martians all dressed in green, tried to get to heaven on a pinball machine, flipper got broken down they all fell, instead of going to heaven they all went to, two little Martians all dressed in green, tried to get to heaven on a pinball machine, flipper got broken down they all fell. Instead of going to heaven they all went to, one little Martian all dressed in green, tried to get to heaven on a pinball machine, flipper got broken down they all fell. Instead of going to heaven they all went to…………Now don't you frown…now don't you fret! Instead of going to heaven…they all WENT TO BED! YAY!" And with that the incredibly long and irritating yet terribly cute song came to an end. When they finished they looked around. Hiei was nowhere to be found…
#A hundred miles away#
Hiei, was being dragged up a hill by demons with his hands tied behind his back.
"DAMN YOU FOR NAMING ME McHIEITON!" He yelled into the night.
#back to the girls#
"Um, Loretta, I think it's time to go now." Catrin said backing away slowly.
"I second that" Lakota said moving away from the glares they were getting from the short demons friends.
"Me three! Let's GO!" She yelled grabbing them and pulling them back through the black hole now known as a portal.
Where will they end up next? Who knows.
"WAIT! WE FORGOT THE HAMMOCK!"
SG: I'm tired. Sleep now.
SW: How can you be tired! We just had like, three bowls of sugar!
SFCP: EACH!
SG: well, I'm off my sugar high. So be quiet and let me sleep!
SW and SFCP: But we're going to pray to the fence…
SG: OK! LETS GO! (All run outside to pray to fence)
Review or else. We will hunt you down and hurt you.