Be careful what you wish for
By Billybob
Authors opening rant:
On the Eighth of February, 2014; an announcement was made by JK Rowling concerning the epilog pairing of Ron and Hermione, an announcement which has been for the most part universally ignored by the fan base. In published statements both JK and the actress Emma Watson, who played Hermione Granger, both believe that Ron would have been a poor fit for Hermione as a life mate. They both voiced their view that Harry (the Hero) should have rode off into the sunset with Hermione (the Heroine) utilizing an old and overused formula in story plotlines that dates back to ancient Greece.
Few can argue that JK Rowling has 'any skill' in writing a believable romance. After all; the primary target audience for her book series was twelve year old girls, a group not yet cursed with the twin horrors of boys or going through puberty. JKR was writing an adventure yarn about three 'friends' fighting evil and romance had nothing to do with it. In the first three books, sex was strictly limited to identifying gender, However all that changed in book four.
During that book the prospect of romantic crushes came into play as the teenagers turned fourteen. Under pressure from her publisher (I suppose) JKR started toying with the idea of a romantic connection between Hermione and one of the boys.
I need to point out that JK Rowling had three additional books to write a believable love story between Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny. However during her news conference of February 8th 2014, she announced her utter failure to create a binding romance between either couple.
A casual look at the publicity events from movie one through eight clearly shows Emma's all but total infatuation (school girl crush) with Dan… the star. So her support of the idea of Hermione and Harry ending up together is understandable. But as no post movie romance (dating) came about; as-happened following the twilight movie series. Whatever romantic chemistry Emma imagined in the movies hasn't translated to real life. In fact Dan has had little to say about the alternate ending Rowling's proposed and has had almost zero contact with Emma or Rupert since the last movie came out.
This story gives Rowling's her alternate ending; but with a twist.
I am not even a remotely trained writer; I have even been asked if English is a second language for me. There is only so much spell check will do. I consider myself a unskilled…story teller, who shouldn't be allowed to publish. You have been warned!
"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here"
Roll film *****
Chapter One:
A scruffy looking twenty-four year old wizard walked purposely down the fourth level of the Ministry of Magic (London), humming a merry tune to him-self. He was dressed in the traditional manner of the second youngest member of the Weasley family; meaning he had-on 'hand me down' clothing which 'oddly enough' dated back to the previous decade. This choice of attire had been carefully chosen by the wearer, for this calculated appearance of shabbiness was intended to being about a particular result.
He wore an old maroon jumper with a faded 'R' embossed on the chest, and a-pair of worn thin and obviously patched blue-jeans that appeared to be a tad- too-tight even for his lean frame. This decade old clothing had been retrieved from a box in the attic of the Burrow that very morning and magically re-sized 'deliberately' to once again fit the now six-foot two-inch tall Weasley for a meeting that had ended only minutes before.
Ron entered Head of the 'Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects' (HBP5) with a huge smile on his face, feeling extra pleased with himself . This was an important part of the British Magical Government, which Ron's fifty-four year-old father, Arthur; now ran as 'department head'. There was a notable spring to his step as he walked by the ten clerks working in the outer-office and waved politely at the executive assistant who desk was just outside his father's private office.
"Is he busy?" Ron asked.
"No he isn't. In fact; you can go right in", the elderly witch replied with a smile.
"Thanks loads, Margaret" he replied as he walked by her and opened the door into his dad's office.
As always, Ron was slightly stunned at the sight of his hard working father. The Voldemort war had taken a heavy toll on the man, he has lost loads of weight in the seven years since Fred had died in battle and there was an aura of life-weariness surrounding both his parents that Ron still found disturbing.
"Wotcha Da!" Ron said in the easy-going cheerful tone that was a trademark of his normally outgoing personality.
"Oi Ronald, are you back already?"
"Yup, my forced interview with the first special undersecretary to the Minister went pretty-much the way I planned it."
"Please tell me that you didn't wear those rags to the interview?" Arthur asked in a worried tone.
"Of course I did," Ron replied with an amused chuckle. "Thankfully; the high and mighty undersecretary had already formed her preconceived impression on how I would look, dress and act. The lack of long hair on my part might have thrown her for a moment, but she recovered quickly enough. Truth-be-told, all I did, thanks in large part to that box of old clothing that I recovered from the Burrow's attic yesterday, was to appear to be precisely the person she expected me to be".
"I find it hard to believe that she could be so easily fooled," Arthur interjected.
"Perception is everything, Da. During my seven years abroad while working as a sales-clerk, I quickly learned the art of reading my customers. To know, almost instinctively the difference between a serious shopper and someone who was just browsing".
"How did that help you?" His father asked.
"Her disapproval was an easy thing to see, as plain as day even on her guarded bureaucratic face. Almost from the instant she entered the room, her rapidly 'lowering expectations' concerning the bloke who sat across the table from her, became more and more crystal clear. Getting her to act on preconceptions that she had formed so long-ago, spelled the difference between a frustrating twenty minute interview (for her) and several long days of painfully endless questioning for me".
"So she bought it – hook, line and sinker", Arthur said chucking a-bit while actually sounding a-little impressed at his sons cunning. "I did warn you more than once after your return to England, that both of your former 'school-chums' had acquired well-earned reputations for being very sanctimonious about everything they do. Years of being National celebrities' can do that to the best of people…I suppose. Both of them have egos that are now way beyond gigantic. Can I also take it for granted, that the outfit you're wearing was just another small- embellishment of your plot to make her instantly underestimate you?"
"And it worked like a charm; Da," Ron replied with a smug smile. "I guess having grown up with the twins resulted in a few unexpected benefits in the being deceitful department. When I was first informed that I had been chosen for this interview, some two days ago, I asked you to find out who would be conducting it. And then yesterday, you were kind-enough to confirm my worse suspicions…that the person put in-charge of this 'international crisis' would be none-other than Minister Kingsley's ever so special assistant."
"My former employer had been unfairly pressured to provide someone for Magical Britain to question about the Western Elves…and as a father of seven you well know, that the use of any kind of force; is not exactly the best incentive for anyone to provide an overabundance of useful information. My handler must have known about how Kingsley had tricked both Neville and I, about the empty promise he made concerning two long-term jobs then available over in Canada and felt that; in the face of this blatant act of deception, that I would be the most likely of all the British refugees; to go to this morning's interview and tell them next to nothing. Finding out it would be Granger doing the interview just made my task all that much easier".
"Odd thing was …in her just concluded assessment of my prospects…past, present and future; she proved spot-on in describing mine. I wasn't all that mature back then and I didn't really apply myself hard-enough at my magical studies to become an Auror. Also; to add insult to injury…were all those years she thinks that I have 'wasted' in Canada as a mere sales clerk. Squandered years indeed…for I end-up back-home with tail between legs nearly penniless and unemployed. She considers me to be an overall failure, lacking in any ambition and totally obliviousness to any number of personal items that are literally 'going-on' right in under of my ruddy nose. She called me the most gullible dullard she had ever encountered".
"And I suppose from her point of view I am. However; she did have a few minor things wrong Thank-Merlin. My eyes are fully open concerning my surroundings now and I've learned a thing or two trade-wise since the three of us abruptly parted company".
"Do you think she was referring to the Potter-Granger love affair?" Arthur asked softly
"Yeah Da, everyone saw it but me. To this day; I just don't understand why the two of them kept it from me or why they kept me around after sixth year", Ron continued. "Potter had already cut all ties to Ginny at Dumbledore's funeral so why didn't they just confront me with the truth 'then and there' and be done with it.
"Why drag things out by letting me carry-on with false hope, why bother attending Bill's Wedding before dragging my useless arse on their famous 'seventh year' camping trip? Had she told me the truth at the funeral, had she cried on Potter's shoulder instead of mine, I wouldn't have been underfoot as the literal third wheel in that ruddy tent, where all I accomplished was to delay the start of everyone now calls their 'destined' romance. Lord-knows; it quickly became apparent that they didn't need me around anymore. I added nothing to their adventure, beyond taking up space".
"Perhaps she was uncertain of her feelings for Potter, before the camping trip began and kept you around as a 'second best' backup plan in case her plans for Potter fell through." Arthur suggested softly. "Yes-yes…that makes sense; your workaholic Hogwarts-friend suffered from a deeply seated Cinderella complex…with Harry in the role of her prince Charming and you; my son, as someone she could force herself to settle for…if her plans didn't work out".
"By being the wife of his best mate, she would still be close to her real romantic target 'if and when' Harry woke up to the fact that Granger was the one true love of his life. Once she thought that Harry was attainable she dumped you cold and hard. Come to think on it…consider yourself lucky; Ronald, if you had gotten her to marry you, she would have most-likely abused you verbally non-stop for years and treated you worse than dirty, for no other reason than the fact that you weren't the National Hero…Prince Charming that she had dreamed of".
"But I was never anyone's prince … I'm just a working stiff like you Da", Ron replied. "Granger should have properly dumped me at the end of sixth-year, I could have attended my seventh year at Hogwarts on my own and perhaps found a proper girlfriend and still have been 'in place' to be a-part of Potter's infamous cannon-fodder during the final Battle. What real good did I do during the raid on the Ministry? Clumsy fool that I was, all I got was splinched, which greatly slowed down the hunt."
"The way I see it now, they would have been better-off without me in that tent. It was Hermione that saved Harry at Godric's Hallow and it was Neville that saved her from Voldemort's snake, not me".
"I was a drag on the two of them, eating food they couldn't spare; forcing them to sleep in separate beds, taking a blanket they could have shared. Today; I reminded her of all that, and combined with the way I dressed and talked, made it extra-easy for her to recall why she use to dismiss me 'out of hand' as utterly worthless, almost every time I opened my mouth".
"Like I said over dinner at the Burrow just last night", Arthur interjected. "Over the last seven years, Harry Potter was considered too much of a national treasure to be risked out in the field. Any criminal cases credited to him had other Aurors doing the actual foot work. He has been promoted due to his fame against Voldemort and nothing else".
"Your Ms. Granger on the other hand…has earned a notorious reputation at the Ministry as a brilliant bureaucratic workaholic and micromanaging 'control freak' within any department she was assigned to, including her current post as…Head of Law Enforcement. I am reliably told that Kingsley made Granger his special assistant; not only for her genius, but also because of her extra close relationship with Potter. Her near total control of our National Hero has kept Kingsley extra-close to Harry for all those photo-ops…political capital opportunities that our Minister would need around election time".
"I'm also told that most of her coworkers universally despise her", Arthur continued to his son. "She only promotes women and is particularly hard on the men in the departments she directed…to the point where the transfer request rate for men in those departments is the highest at the Ministry. Molly and I were not at all surprised at the way she turned out; by the way. As we beheld; first-hand, the little tyrant she would become when we saw her order you about like a 'fetch and tote' servant at the Burrow as teenagers".
"Even Minerva pointed out over tea several times when we gathered to discuss the possibility of you two becoming a couple; that Granger consistently tried to dominate both you and Potter. Minerva told us during third year, that with Harry she was for the most part succeeding, but you…my son," Arthur said proudly, "were resisting Hermione attempts to dominate you through countless arguments. You have turned out to be the rare exception when it comes to a Weasley interaction with a strong willed woman. William, George and I have women in our lives that dominate almost everything we do at home. I freely admit to being hen-pecked but that particular bullet missed you by a hair when it came to Granger".
"Don't forget; Da, the decision of who became her henpecked husband …was Granger's, not mine", Ron softly pointed out.
"Point taken Ronald," Arthur said after a moment's reflection. "Minerva also saw all the signs of Hermione becoming the radical feminist she is today. That you were not the only male classmate she verbally mistreated and spoke down too; while totally focusing all her time and effort on Potter's tiniest whim," Arthur continued. "Minerva always thought that Granger disliked men in general and the fact that during seven years at Hogwarts she only had two dates with two different boys bears-out that theory. Minerva also saw how she worshiped Harry and predicted that she would end-up with Potter…if only to advance her career ambitions and in the end; both Minerva and Rita Skeeter proved correct about that point; of course".
"It's almost painful to watch the way Hermione dominates Harry in…everything", Arthur said sadly. "Whatever she says is taken as gospel by Potter. He is just a figure-head at the Auror department with his fiancé actually in charge. Even the Daily Prophet has commented that perhaps the main reason that the Heroic duo hasn't married already; is that once in a great while Harry has shown a little backbone and stood-up for himself? It's a pity really, Harry was a good lad once, but now that he is totally under her thumb he seems spineless. He acts like the worse sort of hen-pecked spouse imaginable and they aren't even married yet".
"But forget about the golden duo; let's get back to talking about your meeting with her today. You're saying it was your goal to deliberately make her underestimate you".
"Yeah; Da, the Americans are really mad at Magical England's withdraw from world affairs and were even less happy about being politically pressured to provide information that England hadn't really earned. Making Granger 'dismiss my offered help out of hand' with extreme prejudice was just what the Yanks wanted," Ron replied happily. "They will be pleased that England has so forcedly rejected the very help they had previous demanded so strongly".
"Won't they just insist on some else … someone more cooperative". Arthur inquired.
"No Da, the Ministry had only this one-shot, because that's all the Americans agreed to. I can't begin to describe how truly miffed the Wizarding World is at Kingsley's Magical government and their non-cooperation on several international incidents concerning extradition of criminals of all sorts. That they had to go through the Muggle Prime Minster of the UK to make this demand is an indication of how bad the situation is. I'm sure the PM will not be happy with Kingsley about this".
"I imagine our darling Miss Granger somehow convinced Kingsley that she still had you under her thumb." Arthur interjected.
"I can do anything Granger, yeah; I guess that's how it went", Ron replied.
"It was like going back to that ruddy tent all over again", Ron continued. "They must have been a couple in secret for three or four months by then. But instead of telling me the truth; and letting the chips fall where they may; they decided to continue to play me for a fool until the final battle. They kept the details of their little 'didn't mean anything'…innocent 'tent dance' and all the loads of non-stop sex' that followed…from me, for nearly four months. Today's interview was on her part; a masterpiece of ignoring the 'betrayal issue' in the room, left-over from seven years ago".
"She tried to act aloof and control me like she use to and I would have none of it. Going back to that tent, was 'baring none' the biggest mistake I have ever made and her thinking she could still make me jump through hoops like a pathetic lovesick puppy that I was once…was her biggest mistake."
"I still think of myself as a-bit of a dullard; for the crime of loving someone who so clearly was; madly in love with my best mate", Ron said bitterly.
"You couldn't have known, Ronald," Arthur interjected softly.
"No Da; I should have known, I was ruddy stupid back then. The truth was there, right in front of me; but I refused to see the 'romantic reality' until she sat me down and spelled it out for me right-after Nagini was killed by Neville. Even given the warning that fate provided me with the 'Locket prophecy', I remained clueless to the very end".
"You always been too trusting for your own good" Arthur observed.
"You can say that again. Too trusting Ronnie; that's me. I was too ruddy eager to believe the lie Harry told me about being just a brother-figure to his sister Hermione".
"Yes-yes, looking back at our time together, I realize now, that as in any really good- storybook fairytale - the hero requires a disposable sidekick and fate apparently, chose me to play that role for Harry". Ron said in a resigned tone laced with a-touch of regret. His father regarded him with a frown but said nothing, for Arthur and his wife had come to a similar conclusion within months of the final battle.
"Your sister still hates them both, you know." Arthur finally said, breaking the silence that followed.
"You're spot-on about that; Da." Ron replied with an amused chuckle. "All of her letters to me over the years have all but 'dripped with hate' over how they used both me and her and to cover-up their secret love-affair at Hogwarts. I use to think that Mum was the family champion of the all-time grudge holder's, but on the Potter issue, Gin-gin has Mum beat, without question. 'Hell hath no fury like a women scorned' takes on a whole new meaning when it comes to Ginny's ongoing 'blood-feud' level of hate - for our two National Heroes".
"Ginerva's never-lessening hatred for Granger in particular; at first came as a huge surprise to me, especially when she got arrested twice for aggregated assault when she ran into them while shopping and at a restaurant", Arthur said thoughtfully. "Although I suspect Molly always saw the potential for violence in her little girl. And perhaps that's why she's turned out to be one of the roughest players the Harpies have on their squad".
"Come to think on it," Arthur continued. "It would be best if you don't mention your interview today to Ginerva. She's coming to dinner tonight and you know that anything said about the Golden Duo just sets her off. But enough said about your sister. Please give me more details on your first meeting with 'Her' after seven years of separation, was it your outfit and childish behaviors enough to get Granger to explode as she did? Was Potter there also? Did you manage to keep your emotions in check?"
"No, Da; Harry wasn't around, but then again; there was no need for the chief Auror to be there, with his boss in the room already. Besides; I had been 'ordered' by the Americans to cooperate. Actually I never intended to keep my resentment in check," Ron replied with an evil grin. "Earlier, this mourning; hours before my meeting with Granger, I used a pensive to revisit my memories of Hermione's rather blunt rejection of me on the Grand stairway of Hogwarts during the cease fire pause of the battle for Hogwarts. That was when she first declared the truth of her multi-year undying love for Potter. So while Harry was in the forest with Voldemort; my beloved Granger was telling me that I was emotionally nothing to her and that she had been head over heels in love with Harry since almost first-sight".
"Seven years after the war; I had put all those negative feelings of rejection behind me, after all I can't force anyone to love me", Ron said shaking his head sadly. "I had moved on, dated other birds and almost got engaged…once. But to get the reaction from Hermione that I wanted; I needed more than just appearance. I needed emotional immaturity in my voice as well. To be the dullard she expected all it took was one brief - 'pensive visit'- into my past memories and all those suppressed resentments came rushing back to the forefront".
"I walked into that meeting still feeling a reawakened sense of betrayal from when she had 'put me down', and as I hoped; my barely contained bitterness was dripping from my every pore of skin. Although I was careful to never raised my voice and spoke in a clam conversational tone, my apparent inability to get-over a teenage break-up of almost a decade ago; pushed all the right buttons, causing her to lose her self-control completely. My throwback outfit was just icing on the cake, for it piled-on to her already preconceived notions on my general worthlessness".
"My negative body language and aggrieved tone gave lie to the cooperative words I was actually using, and it is the words I used; that would appear in any transcript of our encounter sent to the Americans. My attitude and tone was all the proof our dear Miss Granger required to dismiss my forced offered 'help' out of hand. She even loudly commented on my immature behavior during our meeting, and how it helped 'her' come to the very conclusion that I wanted her to make. By the end of the interview; she was shouting…at the top of her lungs SHOUTING, verbally abusing me; by saying that I hadn't grown-up at all and was still the same juvenile clownish fool, which she remembered 'all so well' from our Hogwarts days".
"She actually shouted at you?" Arthur inquired politely.
"Yes sir, she was loud enough in her demand that I leave her department, to the point where a pair of Aurors came in and escorted me out".
"But-but…what about the… threat of invasion? That's been page one on the Daily Prophet for weeks now" Arthur asked sounding worried.
"But there is zero threat: Da. The Wood-elves of Canada have been in direct contact with mankind since 1805 and they have not attacked us humans even once in all that time. I'm certain that had the entrance to Woodland Ream stayed in western Canada; thousands of miles away from Magical England, our beloved Minister wouldn't be doing anything now. The truth is, our xenophobe Ministry; with its head buried firmly in the sand, doesn't want to spend even a single brass Knut on the Elves that suddenly appeared in Ireland and that's why I'm guessing, that Kingsley assigned 'Granger' to head-up the interview and end it…just as quickly. Didn't you tell me; just last night at dinner, that Kingsley told you privately, that he feels the Elves are exclusively an Irish problem?"
"Yes he's quite firm about keeping us out of it", Arthur softly interjected.
"Da, you know as well as I do that our Ministry current interest in the wood-elves only began after they shut down their entrance-gate near Vancouver, only to reopen another gate a fortnight ago in northern Ireland a mere twenty kilometers west of British controlled Northern Ireland".
"Didn't you tell me that the Ministry of Magic has been under intense pressure from Magical Ireland for any information the UK had on the Woodland elves and had been getting nothing useful out-of our isolationist Ministry for the last fortnight? It was out of frustration that Magical Ireland turned to their Muggle Government who then in turn, put pressure on the Muggle Prime Minister of England, who naturally had his own concerns about the area; to provide answers which Shacklebolt's Ministry; up to that point, has been stonewalling".
"Ireland and England had tried to question any of the native-born refuges fresh from the recently shut Canadian gate and ran into the same roadblock, the confidentiality unbreakable agreement we refugees have with Magical Canada and America. Without magical permission from them no refugee can speak of what we saw or did in the elfish trade settlement under pain of losing all their magic".
"Under great political pressure the joint Canadian-Americans operation was forced to offer-up a single person that the Irish and British could talk too and that's where I came in".
"As the official sacrificial lamb; I became the one and only refugee from the Woodland Realm trade settlement to have his confidentially agreement unbreakable vow…lawfully broken by the North Americans, just so that I could speak about the Wood Elves without horrible consequences".
"Tell me again why did they pick you?" Arthur asked.
"Well according to Granger's theory, just spouted today, The North Americans (Canada and the US) have never been happy with the UK withdrawal from world affairs and therefore offered-up someone whom they felt could provide the least usable information."
"Do you think she is right?"
"It doesn't matter what I think", Ron replied. "The important thing is; she considers herself to be infallible and secondly; her brilliant theory gets me out of working with her in any capacity".
"So you're done?" Arthur said.
"I'm going over to Dublin in the next day or two and offer my help to the Irish, which I'm more than happy to do for as long as it takes;" Ron said in a more cheerful tone, "For one thing; they haven't turned their back on the rest of the magical world. Whereas Granger; just wanted enough information to satisfy the Muggle PM, because her boss: Kingsley has no intention of abandoning his isolationist policy".
"So getting the Ministry chosen representative to loudly dismiss me 'out-of-hand' as worthless; leaves me officially blameless for my lack of cooperation. It can be honestly said that I came forward as requested in good faith and was insulted for my trouble. Ms. Granger; I think, always thought of me as being more of a hindrance than of any real assistance; especially concerning Potter's Prophecy problem. With that same belief firmly seated in her head concerning the Elves and her mind made up, I had one foot already out the door".
"And you did all this…just to get-out of being sucked into working for the Ministry under Granger," Arthur said smiling at his son's cleverness.
"She really didn't want my cooperation; Da, She wanted the interview to fail same as I did. I just beat her to the punch on the blame game". Ron replied.
"But you could have worked for her if you wanted too?" Arthur asked
"I'd be more than just a tad reluctant; especially if it meant long-term, but 'push come-to shove' I'm pretty sure I could. To me; Potter and Granger are just old school mates just like Dean and Seamus are. They aren't really a-big part of my life anymore; Da and I doubt they have given me any more thought than I given them. Childhood friends drift apart, the memories of being a teenager fades. I'm not the same trusting fool I was back then…at least I hope I'm not." Ron said with a uncertain smile.
"True enough, you clearly not the same person you were at seventeen, my son", Arthur countered proudly. "Your mother and I fully concede that you have matured in many ways far more than have George, Bill and Charlie combined and Bill has nippers of his own, now. The war end-up changing us all and more than a little-bit too;" Arthur interjected softly with regret. "But I can still see a touch here and there, of the fun-loving little boy I once knew, before Granger and Potter got their hooks in you and nearly destroyed my youngest son."
"Preconception always trumps facts, Da. Magical England put the golden duo on pedestals seven years ago and they still worship them. We Weasley's all know that Granger isn't a Goddess and that Potter is actually a hen-pecked clod. I sincerely hope they enjoy what being a celebrity has made them. We don't run in the same circles anymore nor do I want to. My Apprenticeship is over and I'm happily self-employed, with a decent enough yearly income so that I only have find part-time work out side of my home to make ends meet".
"The more I think about it the more I'm convinced, that I'll be settling down back in Canada. I have made enough friends over there that I have their promise to find me a place to live in the Magical parts of Vancouver, Canada. The last thing I want is a non-paying government job under a man-hating feminist like Granger", Ron said in a serious tone as he retrieved the suit bag, which he had left earlier in his dad's office, before his meeting with the high and exalted special undersecretary.
"Granger as head of Law Enforcement has made clear her plans on recruiting more women into the Aurors corps; while all but forcing the men in that department to leave or retire" Arthur pointed out unhappily. "It was the same way with her last two departments she ran. I'm in favor of gender equality myself; but I don't approve of trying to correct past inequality by overcompensating in favor of women exclusively. People should be promoted by merit and not simply by gender. She was even quoted as saying that she is more than willing to accept the label man-hater if it means equality sooner rather than later".
"Da; it's S.P.E.W. all over again. Once she takes up a good cause, whether it is house-elf welfare or job equality, nothing gets in her way. It's not the ends that she favors that I disagree with…it's the means", Ron said. "She never believed in long-term solutions, as I do. When she thinks she is right about something…like gender equality in pay or promotion …she demands radical change right now, or better still… yesterday".
"Change never happens fast enough for her and that makes enemies. I tried for years to explain to her how some things take time to work-out, how slow to change magical people are generally, how long it took to get women in the U.K. the right to vote… but she wouldn't listen. She had to right so I naturally was wrong. From my personal point of view; with all things considered; I believe that the Goddess of destiny has been far kinder to me in the long run than she has been to the two great heroes of the Voldemort War".
"How so?" his father asked in a curious tone as his son went into his private bathroom to change clothing.
"Well it's more than just the difference between Grangers; 'I want what I want and I demand to get it now' attitude and my more easygoing…long term view on gradual change. I'm sure she has been deeply frustrated by Potter romantically and the negative effect their lack of being married has had on her ambitions. I'm equally sure that Harry is the problem and not her. He is the hero, she is the heroin and traditionally, according to the 'Happy-ever-after' rules as written in most storybook fairytales they should already be married".
"And these rules declare that hero's should only marry other hero's", Arthur interjected.
Well; yeah. These rules apply to sidekick too… meaning me, as I normally would have been 'foully' killed somewhere during the third act of the Potter story. According to storybook rules, I should have kicked-it (died) the same night Dumbledore did. Thus saving Granger and Potter all kinds of bother on their camping holiday. Without me underfoot, they would have enjoyed a year-long pre-honeymoon in that tent and then gotten married right after the war. At the same time being properly inspired (by my death) to take on the stories main villain and thus rightfully enraged, defeat him in single combat".
"So you think we are all living a fairytale?"
"Of course not; Da, for if that was true; I'd be dead now, wouldn't I?" Ron snorted in reply. "Although even you must admit that Potter's life as a whole is the stuff that would easily fill seven fairytale books".
"That's true enough" Arthur conceded sounding thoughtful, "Alright then, and just for sake of a chuckle, lets follow your 'theory' of all-this being just a popular children's story to its logical end. Are you implying that Potter and Granger have already ridden off into the sunset together and are now living their happily ever after? Because from what I have seen first-hand or read in the - Daily Prophet - I can acknowledge that their careers are going well-enough. However; they didn't get married right after the war and their personal lives are according to the tabloids…royally mucked-up."
"You got that in one go, Da", Ron said thinking hard. "Something went wrong, or rather several something's …and like I said earlier…I'll wager ten Galleons the main problem is Potter. Hermione has the loads more to gain career-wise by being Mrs. P than Harry does by being Granger's hen-pecked husband, although it must annoy her; 'to no end' as a devoted feminist…to need a bloke for anything".
"As to the question of why is Harry is avoiding marriage…that is anyone's guess? After-all, according to what I have read in old issues of the- Daily Prophet -that Mum, ever so kindly sent me…in Canada…via owl post. Potter and Granger have 'dated' semi-exclusively since the war. They've gone out with other people from time to time, even dated others openly for weeks, but always drifted back together. They have been engaged and then un-engaged twice during the past seven years, so romantically speaking, I'd say that the smartest witch of our age for reasons unknown…has not yet managed to land the fish for which she been casting, for some twelve years."
"That doesn't sound all that 'Happily ever After' to me, son!" Arthur said deadpan.
"I agree with you, Da; but living with a deeply committed feminist in a paparazzi sponsored fishbowl, wouldn't help things along, I'm sure".
"Do you still envy their fame?" his dad asked softly.
"That's an odd thing to ask, Da;" Ron replied while starring off at nothing. "Because Granger just asked me the same question during the interview and the answer oddly-enough was; oh-hell NO".
"And why is that?" Arthur asked.
"I've read everything about them that Mum sent me in the post, and it soon dawned on me that the life of a celebrity means zero privacy. I often wondered how Dumbledore dealt with it all. Even Minister Kingsley has more of private life than our much-beloved National heroes. So no; Da, I have found that being overlooked by history has actually been a kindness for me. At odd moments I still feel slightly envious of all those blokes, who are more famous than me, but then I see a ten page 'photo-spread' in the Daily-Prophet on Potter going to a public loo and my desire for fame quickly fades away".
"You have indeed grown-up a-bit, my son" Arthur said sounding impressed.
"I'm twenty-four, Da; don't you think it's time?" Ron asked drolly.
"So your saying there won't be any 'happily ever after' for Potter and Granger.
"I'm sure they will marry, someday. Granger has had her sights on Harry since first-year and I can't see her giving-up on something that important to her career. I'm not as sure that Harry will end-up happy". Ron replied.
"Why not?"
"Well I guess it depends on whether or not Harry will want Hermione telling him what to do for the rest of his life", Ron replied.
"Like she does now?" Arthur said.
"Like she does now", Ron retorted.
"Poor sod"
"It's a Self-inflicted wound, so he has no-one but himself to blame" Ron said with a sad chuckle. "Besides; I doubt his life would have been any easier under my strong-willed sister. Harry seems to like dominating women".
"God gave women red hair as a warning to all men…Lord knows I have lived it firsthand I suppose. Luckily your mother has reassured me that The Great Potter's rare ability to stand-up to his fiancée dominance and our government's cowardice concerning world affairs, never directly affected your job in Canada." Arthur continued after pausing to reflect.
"Well that's not exactly true, Da." Ron replied embarrassed enough for his ears to turn red. "The jobs that Kingsley arranged for Neville and me after the war; sort-of involved working for the magical equivalent of the Muggle MI-6 (Secret Intelligence Service 'SIS'). Neville and I worked for them for about a year on loan from the Ministry until Kingsley cut all funding to the UK magical Foreign Office. After that; all magical U.K. diplomatic and espionage operations were terminated worldwide. I then was cut lose in Canada, along with every-one else born in the UK, when our MI-6 pay-bucket was abruptly cut off by Kingsley. Some came back home, but a few of us were picked-up as agents by a combination of magical Intelligence organizations; Canadian, NSA and CIA".
"Oh my God, son. Did you actually work for the famous CIA, as a spy?" Arthur asked utterly gob-smacked
"Da, everyone in the Elf settlement was trained as a spy, myself included", Ron said. "Long before I was allowed to enter the Elf created 'trade settlement' for those few humans 'permitted' to live within their dimension; I underwent training in spy-craft. Do you even remember why I left England in the first-place?"
"As I recall it", Arthur said thinking back. "George sold the joke-shop out from under you, after you got it back into the profit column financially, claiming that he had too many bad memories of the place, working so closely with Fred and all to ever try to run the shop on his own ever again. Kingsley was laying-off Ministry employees at the time and he was cutting back at new enrollees into the Auror Academy so as to shift resources to helping people rebuild after the war.
"As he couldn't keep his promise to you to make you an Auror and feeling extra bad about disappointing you and Longbottom in that regard. Kingsley then arranged an overseas apprenticeship to get you both away from our 'then staggering' thirty seven percent unemployment rate"
"That's partially true; Da. There were no jobs to be had in England after the war", Ron said in reluctant agreement, "Loads of businesses were owned either directly by Death-eaters or indirectly by members of their immediate families. After the war those not immediately arrested fled the country and took all their wealth with them. The UK magical economy was instantly ruined by tax revenues cut in half. Neville and I were bloody-lucky to get any position, anywhere".
"But how does that translate unto you become a spy?" Arthur asked, excited by the mere idea of it.
"I'm not a real spy, Da". Ron replied. "I was trained along with loads of other people for less than four months total and taught 'just enough' spy-craft to act as cover for the real spies they were sending in alongside us decoys".
"Decoys?" Arthur asked surprised.
"Yeah Da, the Woodland Realm is composed of elves that are all born Natural Mind-Readers. Think on-it, an entire race which are one thousand times better that the best human 'legilimens' England ever trained. They can easily probe far deeper and get more detailed information out of us humans, precisely because there is no known defense against their kind of mind-probe".
"I was paid a stipend for a year by MI-6 and then the CIA for the rest of my time in Canada to have enough spy-stuff in my head so that whenever an Elf would casually probed my mind (or anyone else living in their trade settlement) they would perceive that I was a poorly trained spy, thus helping to conceal from the Elf mind readers, the identities of the real spies that the human magical community had sent in."
"So MI-6 paid you to act as a decoy for the real spies?"
"The CIA paid most of it, but otherwise; yeah. However, all that ended two months ago when the Elves in a mere twenty-four hours, shut down the settlement forcing all us humans out; before they burned everything to the ground", Ron said trying to explain.
"Why did the elves do that?" Arthur asked
"The Americans honestly don't known, nor do the Canadians. I learned that much while spending three weeks being debriefed in Langley Virginia."
"Why Langley" his dad asked
"CIA headquarters", Ron replied
"Hold-on, you don't mind being grilled by the CIA, You are more than willing to help the Irish, but you take pains to avoid talking to our magical government?"
"I enjoyed working in Canada; I liked the people in the settlement too. Because I never was treated like a dimwitted sidekick by anyone and not once did the master I was apprenticed to; ever hold-back an important truth from me. For nearly six years until his death last year, I trusted my master with my back. My last year in the UK before I left was filled with nothing but betrayals and death. After the war I tried to make a go of it but then George sold the Joke shop; I had no job, no girl and therefore no reason to stay. I say the same thing for anyone now working at the corrupt Ministry of Magic now…except for you, Da. To me; isolationist Kingsley and his special undersecretary Granger are no different in their running of the British Ministry of today, than under Cornelius Fudge or Pius Thicknesse".
"Kingsley isn't that bad", Arthur protested mildly thus avoiding making any comment on Granger.
"I respectfully disagree, Da" Ron replied. "You've said it yourself, turning your back from rest of the world for seven plus years is bad policy. Personally, I deeply resent Kingsley's 'lack' of concern over the 'Elf problem' until it shows-up literally on his doorstep".
"I wonder how Granger's explosion this morning will undercut Kingsley plan to blame me for the interview's failure. My bet is on the bad-blood theory, because it gets Kingsley off the hook with his Muggle PM. By-the-way; doesn't Granger agree with Shacklebolt on the necessity of withdrawing from the world until England has fully recovered from the Voldemort war?" Ron asked.
"She is vocally his strongest supporter", Arthur said. "So I'd say yes, she supports Kingsley Isolationist policy one hundred percent. Bugger; she's used you again, hasn't she?"
"No; Da, not really, I'm sure that a professional politician like Kingsley will find a way to spin todays fit of temper on Grangers part; as being my fault. I expected to be blamed…to tell the truth, for after all…every-one in England knows that Hermione could never do anything wrong. It's the best perk of being a living Goddess", Ron replied.
end transmission
to be continuted