A Doctor Who and Rocket to the Moon songfic! Read, rate, review…r-enjoy? :D
Disclaimer: None of the abovementioned belong to me! :O
Like We Used To
'I could feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me, sharing pillows and cold feet.'
Not that he ever shared the same bed as she did, but when he saw her seven-year-old self asleep on the garden, he lifted the child, sadness evident in his eyes. He really did care for her. He still did.
'She could feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat under blankets and warm sheets.'
He played with her hair a bit, talking about him and her. He was going to close the crack in her bedroom wall. He was going to get rid of that crack that had been chasing this poor ginger all her life. He was going to sacrifice himself for her sake.
'If only I could be in that bed again…if only it were me instead of him.'
Him, her…and the days that never came. He will never exist to her. Another man would enter her life and marry her. He would just be her seven-year-old imagination.
'Does he watch your favorite movies; does he hold you when you cry?'
His invention of the frozen fish custard was a thing between them only. He would miss that; she wouldn't- she wouldn't even know that would be possible. He was the shoulder she always cried on, but now it's going to be that other guy that she'll depend on.
'Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts when you've seen it a million times?'
The adventures that they had gone to; vampires in Venice, the ground-dwelling creatures that sucked her in once, meeting Vincent…when he'll disappear along with that crack in her bedroom wall…there was no more adventure that she could talk about. What would she tell her to-be husband and their kids? Would they be just as interesting?
'Does he sing to all your music while you dance to Purple Rain?'
He was worried about her. Was she going to enjoy the other guy's company? Was she going to be happy with him?
'Does he do all these things like I used to?'
Does he? Will he?
'Fourteen months and seven days ago, oh, I know you know how we felt about that night.'
She was only seven when he crashed into her garden. She was curious, interested, and so was he. It was a wonderful night at her house.
'Just your skin against the window, but we took it slow and we both know,'
Twelve years later, he was back for her. Apparently, he did take it slow; too slow. She had been waiting for too long and been hurt too much and he knew too little.
'It should've been me inside that car; it should've been me instead of him in the dark!'
He kept leaving her behind. He never looked back. She waited, called and cried. The other guy was the only one she turned to, and eventually, she stopped waiting, calling and crying. He had been forgotten.
'Does he watch your favorite movies; does he hold you when you cry?'
The other guy was bound to do a way better job than he ever would. He wasn't complaining; he was just grieving. No matter how badly he would want to, he could never get to her.
'Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts when you've seen it a million times?'
The other guy would be her best friend, lover, confidante and everything she would ever need or want. The other guy would never get tired of her; he would never leave her. He'd make sure of that.
'Does he sing to all your music while you dance to Purple Rain?'
She was definitely going to enjoy his company and his very self. She was going to marry him, the other guy. They were going to have a happily ever after like in those fairytales that she watched.
'Does he do all these things like I used to?'
Why question the loyalty of the other guy? He was perfect for her, and her, him! It would hurt, yes, but he deserved the hurt that he had inflicted on her all those years. He deserved far worse.
'I know, love (well, I'm a sucker for that feeling), happens all the time, love (I always end up feeling cheated),'
He wanted to love her more than any of his previous companions. He was certain she was the right one. It turned out he was wrong again; he did not deserve her, that other guy did.
'You're on my mind, love (oh, sorta let her when I need it), that happens all the time, love, yeah,'
He needed her. He needed her so bad it hurt. When he would come in the TARDIS, he'd expect her to come in after him. The thought of her not coming with him anymore and the reminder that she never will happened as often as his two hearts beat.
'Will he love you like I loved you? Will he tell you everyday?'
He never said he loved her; he showed it. He expressed it in his every little action. Maybe sometimes words made more impact than actions. The other guy would openly say he loves her; he'd say it often. He, meanwhile, would be stuck regretting.
'Will he make you feel like you're invincible with every word he'll say?'
Even as a child, he lied to her; told her everything was going to be alright, he would be back in five minutes. How could he have made her feel better when all he did was lie? The other guy could and would do better; he'd be her source of strength when he was her reason for weakness.
'Can you promise me if this was right, don't throw it all away?'
He couldn't love her or have her come with him. He would find her hard to let go and impossible to forget, but if anything, before he left her and became nothing to her, he wanted her to be happy. She was going to marry that other guy, she will be happy and she will have her happily ever after. He was going to make sure of that, even though it was going to hurt so much.
'Can you do all these things…will you do all these things…'
His time was coming; he had to go. Before all that, he wanted her to promise him something. She may have been asleep, but he knew she could hear.
'Like we used to?'
The Doctor and Amelia Pond…and the days that never came.
'Oh, like we used to.'
What a barrel load of depression, guilt and regret. O.= I must be sadistically masochistic. Well anyway, don't forget to review!
-AniMa