"Please, Joey. Just… don't tell my dad, okay?" I can deal with him not wanting me to see Angela. I'll figure that out. I have all the time in the world to figure it out. I'll talk to him. Tell him the money was really just for a new camera. He's a nice guy. He'll get over it. Everything will be fine.
But he can't talk to Dad. He's not a nice guy. He won't get over it. It won't matter that he gave me that money for a camera to make up for what he did. He won't see it that way. He'll know that I really did want to leave him, and that I want to be with my sister way more than I want to be with him. After what happened when he found some pictures and a scrapbook… I don't want to know what he would do if he heard that I almost took off with her. I can't afford to find out.
"What are you talking about? Of course I have to talk to your dad, Craig. You can't do things like this! It's not up to me to deal with it. I can keep you away from my daughter, but you and your dad clearly have some things you need to talk about."
"Seriously, Joey, you can't. Please." I might sound a little bit desperate, but I don't care. I am, after all, pretty desperate.
"Are you afraid you'll get grounded or something? You'll have to deal with it, because what you were trying to do is not okay!"
"That's not what I'm afraid of…" I mumble this bit, though I probably shouldn't say anything at all. Because, apparently, my sister is extremely perceptive.
"Craig, are you afraid of the dinosaur?" I shoot her the same warning look I gave when she asked if Joey could "come too," but, perceptive as she may be, she doesn't seem to be getting those messages. Fortunately, her dad just seems confused.
"Dinosaur? What are you talking about, sweetie?"
Until Angela enlightens him, anyway.
"The dinosaur that bites Craig and turns him all purple!" Seriously, Ang?
Joey's face changes at that, but I might be able to run with it. For all Angela knows, it is just a dinosaur that hurts me. She can't tell a story she doesn't know. So, maybe I can work with that.
At Joey's questioning look, I remind him of the dinosaur we were drawing with the sidewalk chalk. "She's talking about the chalk dinosaur we tried to feed her to at the party. She showed you, that, right?" I hope she did, anyway. "I told her that it likes boys named Craig, too. I don't know, maybe that wasn't the best idea. Pretend dinosaurs can't really hurt people, but Ang is little. I might have scared her."
"But Craig, the dinosaur did hurt you! I saw!" I swear, someday I will learn to stop underestimating my sister. I used to be able to talk over her head all the time, but I guess that's not true anymore. "Show Daddy, Craig! I bet he can protect you from the mean dinosaur. He's like a superhero."
I may be in the middle of a crisis, but I can still notice that Angela has a really good thing going for her, even without our mom. I wish my dad was still my superhero. If he were, I wouldn't be in this uncomfortable situation right now. Nothing would hurt, I wouldn't have anything to hide, and I wouldn't have to sneak time with my little sister.
I don't know what to do with the look Joey is giving me right now. Or the tone he's using. His voice has changed. Somehow gotten softer, but more serious at the same time. "Craig, what is she talking about? What did Angela see? What does she want you to show me?"
And because I don't have any clue how to get out of this one, I just give in, on impulse. I give him an apologetic look, because I know he doesn't want to know this, but I'm pretty sure he'd guess it soon enough anyway. I turn my eyes to the ground, grip one side of my shirt in each hand, and lift it up. Just for a moment. Just long enough for him to see, but hopefully not long enough for anyone else to notice.
"Oh god, Craig." And because he's not stupid, "The dinosaur is your dad, isn't it?"
Silence is enough of an answer to that question, but I let out a soft "Yeah" anyway.
Angela seems to realize that I lied to her, but she either realizes it's a sensitive moment or doesn't know how to process it. Either way, she stays quiet. I feel bad for letting her hear this.
Because this is not Joey's problem and I don't want him to worry, I say, "But it's fine. You know, as long as you don't tell him about this. I mean, I wouldn't really try to take Ang from you. I know she needs her dad. I just need mine to be in the dark about this one thing, and everything will be okay."
"How did that happen, then? Huh?" He gestures to my body, to what I just showed him.
"You don't wanna know." Because really, he doesn't. But that's enough to clue him in.
"Oh, no… It was after I talked to him, wasn't it? After I called, or after I asked him to let you spend time with Angela?"
"Uh, sort of. But I think that just made him suspicious. It wasn't really anything you did. He just found some pictures I had of you guys in my darkroom, and I guess he got upset, thinking I might leave him like Mom did."
"That's what he does when he's upset?"
Crap. I think he would know if I lied, so I don't say anything.
He kind of, I don't know, crumples? "I'm so sorry, Craig. I'm so sorry. I can't believe I didn't know about this. I should have done something."
This guy is such a dad. Like, a real one.
"It's not your fault, Joey. Come on, I'm fine. I'll be fine. I can handle it, no problem."
"But you shouldn't have to. And now, you won't have to. I won't let this happen again. I can't. I don't have it in me."
What is he saying? I'm pretty sure by now, at least, that he's not going to tell my dad about Angela and the bus station idea. But he's clearly not going to just walk away, either.
"We're going to figure this out. You're my stepson. Your mom would do something, but since she can't, and I don't know who else would, it's up to me. I don't know if you want him to get help, or if you want to press charges, or if you just want out of there. But I'm going to help with whatever it is."
"Well, yeah, I would like to get out. But I don't really have anywhere else to go…" My dad isn't great company, but he's something. He comes with a place to stay and food to eat.
"Of course you do, Craig. You have a place with me and Angela. No question."
"Yeah! Craig! Come live with me and Daddy so I can see you every day! I can share him, I promise."
I've never heard a better idea in my life. I've always wanted to be near Angela, and I'm starting to realize that Joey is kind of an amazing dad. Maybe I want a little piece of what Ang has. Maybe I can have a piece of her superhero dad. I don't even know what to say. So I just say, "Okay."