Thoughts

Sakura sighed as she closed the book she was reading. This weekend was going to be long, she could just tell… For one thing, she had practice again tonight. She had already experienced voice loss from last night's practice, probably would again tonight, and again tomorrow after her singing for church. At least she was babysitting tomorrow, and could skip out on play practice….

She sat up on her bed and stretched. This week had been stressful and tiring, and her insomnia was acting up again… If only Shao were here… Then she could handle things. Talking to him always made her happy, and helped relieve her stress. But that was not very possible, as he was back in Hong Kong still…

They talked occasionally, as much as his mother could get away with and not anger the elders, that is. Sakura smiled thinking of her second mother. Yelan had taken Sakura under her wing when she visited Hong Kong a few years back.

Sakura went down to eat some dinner, thoughts and memories running through her mind. This was her second year without him, for the second time. Oh well... She could deal with it, even through her depression.

Thinking back, she couldn't even remember ever not being depressed. It had been plaguing her for years now, ever since she was a small child. Being with her friends lifted it sometimes, but not often enough.

Of course, no one knew, save the one she loved. He was the only one who knew her hurt, who knew it was all a mask, who could help lift it. Except Kami-sama, of course. But it is always good to have a human to talk to sometimes too. And that person was many, many miles away from her now.

Sakura sat down at the table, picking at her food, completely oblivious to her father and brother's worried expressions. They knew her turmoil, and would do anything to lift it, but so far had been unsuccessful.

Sakura finished her dinner, washed the dishes and went back up to her room to think some more. She had already done her homework and had nothing better to do, honestly.

She looked at the clock, reading that it was almost 9:30 pm. She might as well go to sleep now; maybe she would wake up on time again. Sakura slid under the covers of her bed, clutching the bear that he had given her so long ago close to her, wishing desperately that Shaoran was with her now… knowing, however, that he would only be with her in her thoughts and dreams…..

(AN: Well kind of angsty, pointless, and sad.…. But what can I say, that's how I feel right now…. Missing the one I care about most… Sorry if its also kind of disjointed, but most thoughts one has when one is depressed are very jumbled and disorganized and disjointed…. Maybe I'll make another one with Shao's POV later.)

DAK