The Doctor had seen Rose Tyler sad many times. He'd seen her cry more times than he cared to remember. The end of her planet; a changing, dying Dalek; her father's death. His regeneration had made her cry, no doubt. He'd seen tear tracks on her cheeks when he found his way back her after saving Reinette. She cried every night for a week after Mickey left.
But he'd never seen her so broken, so completely shattered and defeated as she was now, huddled in a ball, her cheek and palm pressed against the vast blue-white wall, shoulders trembling with the effort of keeping her emotion contained. He glanced out the window; it had been two hours since the last of the Daleks and Cybermen had been sucked back into the Void through that gaping expanse, and the Doctor could very vaguely hear law enforcement combing the lower floors of Torchwood Tower. He frowned; the Doctor hated cleaning up. They had to leave. Wouldn't do for the coppers to find the TARDIS, anyway.
The Doctor moved silently towards Rose and crouched beside her, an ache rising in his chest at seeing her eyes clenched tightly shut, lips pressed together in a hard line. "Rose," he murmured, stroking her arm until she opened her eyes and caught his gaze with hers. Her eyes were more desperate than anything, and the Doctor suddenly understood she'd been waiting for him to come and take her away, desperate to leave but unable to tear herself away from the last place she'd seen and felt her mother. "Come on, we're leaving now," he said softly, curling an arm around her shoulders and guiding her to her feet. He could hear her heart pounding as they walked away from the wall, and the ache returned as he realised she was staring determinedly ahead and practically holding her breath in an effort to not start sobbing. He ground his teeth frustratedly. This was exactly what he'd wanted to avoid! Rose loved her mother more than anything in the world, and she'd given that up for a dangerous, temperamental life with him. A Time Lord who would far outlast her in years, and who now would be forced to watch her age, watch his beloved Rose Tyler live and die while he remained the same.
He glanced at Rose again; her heart was still hammering madly away in her chest, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears, but her face was now blank. Devoid of emotion, except for maybe pain. A deep pain, an emotional pain that would take only time to heal. She made no reaction when they stopped outside the TARDIS and the Doctor led the way inside; she gently removed herself from his arm and left the console room without a word or even a look in his direction. He sighed and took the TARDIS into the vortex, wondering whether, just maybe, she was regretting her decision. A sharp negative from the TARDIS quickly rebutted that idea, so he put it out of his mind. He would leave her be, for now. She needed time, and now the Doctor would give all the time in the world if it would make Rose Tyler happy again.
Rose made it to her room feeling disjointed and dazed, like she'd woken up from a dream. She wished it was a dream, but she'd made her choice; the Doctor over her mother. Rose refused to regret it, stubbornly morphing the guilty feelings into sadness and anger that there wasn't another way for them all to remain together, for her family to remain within her reach so she could stay with the man she now realised she loved with all her heart.
Tears burned her eyes and finally spilled down her cheeks as Rose paced her room, getting more and more frustrated with herself, and the situation she now found herself in. Her mum was gone; she would never see her again. And it was at the thought of what her mother would be feeling now, how heartbroken and hurt she would be at her daughter's betrayal that finally broke Rose Tyler.
xXx
It had to be more than luck, the Doctor realised, that he had been going to see how Rose was coping when he heard an outraged scream and the tinkling of smashing glass sound from behind her bedroom door.
"Rose!" He burst in, having no idea what he'd find, but certainly not expecting to see her hunched over on her hands and knees, head bowed and her entire body heaving with heavy, wracked sobs. "Oh, Rose…" He went immediately and knelt by her side, pulling his companion into his arms and cradling her against his chest. She put up no resistance, turning into his shirt and scrunching the material in her fists. The Doctor gazed around at the carnage while he let Rose cry; rocking her slowly and rubbing her back in long, comforting circles, his eyes looked over the broken mirror and the lone shoe sitting beneath it covered in broken glass.
"I left her," Rose wept, her chest hitching with each uneven, out-of-control breath. "She's g-gone an' she'll never know, I c-can't tell her I'm sorry, an' I love her but I love you, too, an' I couldn't leave you, Doctor, I couldn't…" Rose seemed to suddenly realise just how much she'd said, and before he knew it she was out of his arms and standing shakily to her feet, still hiccuping through her tears. He jumped up, holding out a hand for her to take and step forward to him.
"Careful, there's glass," he warned her, eyes catching her bare feet, but she moved towards her bed instead.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to tell you like that," she mumbled, stumbling sideways and sitting, nearly falling, on the edge of her bed. "I didn't…" Rose covered her face with her hands, shoulders shaking with sobs. How had she gotten everything so screwed up?
"Rose," the Doctor sighed, grimacing sadly at his desolate companion as he crouched before her, like a parent to an upset child. "I'm glad you said it. Truly."
Her hands dropped, and oh Rassilon, she had never looked more beautiful than now. Her tear-stained face was still upset, though now more confused than anything. "B-but you don't love me."
He was so surprised that he laughed once in disbelief, eyebrows raising so fast they nearly hit his hairline. "How could you think that?" he asked incredulously, rising to his feet, seizing her shoulders and pulling her, his Rose, into a crushing hug that enabled him to wrap himself around her and nuzzle his face in her hair. "I have always loved you," he told her firmly, squeezing her once then parting so he could look her seriously in the eyes. His fingers tilted her chin up towards him, and they quickly became wet with her tears. "Hear me? Always. And I always will. Long time, that," he added with the quirk of a smile, and despite everything that had happened, the edge of Rose's mouth twitched up into a half smile as well before her eyes filled with tears again.
"You really mean that?" she whispered, gripping his arm tightly, almost like a lifeline. In an answer, the Doctor leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, savouring his first real kiss with Rose Marion Tyler. The first where, for a change, neither of them where in any way controlled or under any influence other than their own. It was brief and tender and oh so beautiful, just like her, but she was still upset and he was not going to take advantage of her messed up feelings. His brain went into overdrive even as he broke away and she slipped his arms around his waist once again, as he tried to think of a way he could make this better. Make it easier on her, at least.
The Doctor bit his lip, shaking his head and briefly kissing Rose's head before leading her wordlessly to her bed and climbing on next to her. She didn't complain, just yawned tiredly and lay down, eyes drifting shut and her breathing deepening as soon as her head snuggled into his chest. She was absolutely drained and exhausted from the day, he knew, and so he resolved to have a plan before she woke up. She had given up everything for him, he knew. This was the least he could do.
xXx
"So… she'll jus'… appear there?" Rose asked hesitantly, eyeing the empty space cleared in the console room. The Doctor nodded.
"Yup. Holographic form, so you won't be able to touch her or anything, but it'll look as though she's in the room." The Doctor eyed Rose, concerned. She was twitchy, wringing her hands, and she kept swallowing; that made four times in the last minute and a half. "You're sure you want to do this? We don't have to, you know."
"No, I - I want to." Rose nodded, eyes never leaving the place where her mother - should everything go right and the supernova they were orbiting didn't explode or anything - would appear in less than a minute.
"Okay," the Doctor responded softly with a nod. "D'you want me to leave? Everything is set up. I don't - I mean, if you want to be alone then I'll just -"
Rose turned to look at him and took his hand, squeezing gently. Tears glistened in her eyes. "That'd be good, I think, yeah," she managed, giving him a small, sad smile and desperately hoping he would understand.
"Come here," he murmured, kissing her forehead and pulling her into a tight hug. "I'll be in the library, alright? The TARDIS has made it the first door once you leave the console room."
Rose nodded and let him go, turning to face the empty space. The door clicked shut, and not a second later, her mother was standing before her.
xXx
It had been less than ten minutes before Rose appeared, white faced and dazed, in the doorway of the library. The Doctor shot to his feet at her expression, his mind coming up with all sorts of unimaginable terrible things Rose may have just experienced. He reached her and moved into her line of sight, gently taking her shoulders; she looked straight through him. "Rose-"
"She's pregnant," Rose whispered, and only then did her gaze flick to the Doctor's, a broken smile gracing her tear-stained face. "But Mum was… she said she…" Her thoughts refused to merge into comprehensive sentences. "It'd been three months for her," Rose told him, her voice cracking. The Doctor nodded; it had been one of his theories, that parallel worlds often had different length time lines. Then he truly heard what she'd said; it had been three months for Jackie without her daughter, when it had been less than a week for them in the TARDIS. Rose nodded sadly as she saw the realisation dawn on his face, and her own face crumpled into tears.
The Doctor wordlessly received her into his arms, cradling her head against his shoulder, simply standing and letting her sob. It would still be a long time, he knew, before she could get over this; essentially, it was like Jackie had died. Same consequences, anyway. Rose would only be able to console herself with the knowledge that Jackie was happy, and she would need constant reminder of that in the coming weeks.
"I'm sorry," he breathed in her ear, sorry for inflicting this upon her. Sorry she had to be hurt like this, all for him…
Rose's sobs lessened and she pulled back, wiping her eyes. "S'not your fault," she hiccuped, shaking her head. "She said she… she's happy. Misses me, but she's got Pete and M-Mickey…" Her eyes glistened, but she shook her head again, lifting her face to attempt a smile. "She'll be alright," Rose decided, trying to convince herself more than anything, and the Doctor felt a wave of pride for his brave pink and yellow wonderful Rose Tyler wash over him. He squeezed her hand, and brought it to his lips, softly kissing the back of her hand.
"I love you," he reminded her; a half-smile grew on her face, more of a grimace, really, but given the circumstances, the Doctor considered himself lucky.
"I love you, too."