Deathbeds
(A/N- This is an alternate ending to the episode When A Stranger Calls, and in this, Audrey sacrificed herself to save Emma and I suck at summaries but this tells each day out and unfolds each emotions and feeling Emma is feeling. I know the ending sucks, but I suck at writing endings... Sorry it sucks.)
***Day Fourteen***
Emma Duvall never left that goddamned bedside. Never. Just watched Audrey sleep. Sleep so soundlessly you would think she was in peace, not dying by the hands of a psychopath.
She's dying because of me, Emma bitterly thought.
Dying. That word all itself seemed all too real. Even though she lost half her friends, and even though Kieran turned out to be the killer, they only person she couldn't lose, was Audrey. Audrey Jensen just had a whole new definition to Emma. Emma loved Audrey. A love she didn't know existed. She loved Audrey more than Will and Kieran, more than Brooke, more than her friends, more than anyone. Audrey was her protector, Audrey was Emma's best friend, her everything.
Emma never even did say how much she loved her.
Is that why Emma ditched Audrey? Because she fell in love with her? Yes. That's exactly the reason. How could she react? A teenage girl falling in love with another girl? She freaked out. She walked- no she tried to run away from those feelings. Which, in turn, just made her feel stronger.
"Audrey," Emma whispered, slightly loud as she tried to wake her up.
Oh, the irony.
"Audrey... Please, don't leave me," Emma begged.
Emma sniffled. "Audrey, I love you. I never told you because I was scared to love you, but if you wake up, we can start over. We can... We can get married, have kids, go move to California, where you can go to your damned film-making academy. Does that sound good?" Emma ranted. (Half of what she was saying, not even making sense.)
"Remember how whenever fucking Garry Wyong was being a dick to me? It was in the... third grade, right? Yeah, it was. You beat the shit out of him for making fun of my glasses and after he called me 'four eyes'," Emma smirked, relishing the memory.
"You always did rescue me. You never could fucking stop. That's why you're here, now, you dipshit," Emma scoffed.
If Audrey was up now-
Emma stopped herself mid-thought. She can't think like that, she couldn't. Audrey was going to wake up... She'd wake up and Emma would hug her and Audrey would drive Emma mad- but it's what she wanted. She wanted Audrey to drive her crazy. To say those sarcastic remarks, to hear that voice, to see that smile, to feel her strong arms, to just talk to her.
"But, I love you. I do. You're crazy, incoherent, sarcastic, angry, and a fucking mess... But you're my crazy, incoherent, sarcastic, angry mess."
Emma couldn't shake the feeling.
Of Audrey being all bloody-
(She really shouldn't imagine it.)
-begging Emma not to cry.
(God, such a hideous envision.)
-just telling Emma to run.
Being the hero, as always.
***Day Eighteen***
"Auds," Emma said, "please, Audrey. Wake up, for me."
Audrey was just covered in wires, not smiling, not even human. The doctor has said the chances of Audrey living are twenty-five-to-none. Everyone kept telling Emma to just let go. Even fucking Noah. Of all people, Noah. Fuck, I don't think they understand that Emma couldn't just simply let Audrey go. Audrey wasn't a chapter in the book of her life, not just a character, Audrey was Emma's life.
"Hey, Audrey, I had Brooke stop by your place, earlier today," Emma said, brushing a strand of Audrey's silky, short hair.
"I had her get your I-Pod, and... I thought we could listen to it. Together. For old times sake."
Emma pulled it out and looked through her playlists.
Emma's heart froze as she read the title of a certain playlist.
"Emma's songs?" Emma whispered, tears streaming.
"You made me a playlist," it came out more as a statement, not a question.
Emma clicked on it and immediately strolled through these songs. And smirked at a certain one.
"This is for you."
"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now."
Emma felt those fucking tears. God, did they ever stop? She began to whisper-sing as the memories hit so freaking hard.
"And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight."
Emma screamed in her own head. Screaming at God for trying to take Emma's angel away.
"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."
Emma continued to sing as she laid her head on Audrey's chest... Like, they used to, when they were friends and Emma was crying, Audrey would always comfort Emma, even when she didn't deserve it.
Even when she didn't need it.
"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am."
Emma cried in Audrey's chest, feeling a strong, hateful scream escape her throat. Of everyone, why her? Why Audrey?
"God, take anyone, but her," Emma prayed.
"And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am."
As the song ended, Emma was still crying, and she cried herself to sleep that night, as well.
***Day Twenty Six***
Emma wasn't Emma without Audrey. Emma's eyes were darker, more hateful. She lost over twenty pounds, barely even ate. Emma just sat on that deathbed, talking to Audrey, wishing she would respond.. The doctors were considering taking her off life support, and the craziest part was, Audrey's dad was considering it. Saying, it was all in God's hands, now.
Stupid asshole.
"Fuck you!" Emma screamed, pushing her chair over.
"Don't take her from me! Anyone but her!" Emma screeched a primal sound.
She pounded her fist at the end of the bed.
"Audrey? Please. Wake up? For me?" Emma said, pressing a kiss to Audrey's ice cold lips.
***Day Thirty One***
"Emma, we need you to go home," Brooke said, almost pleading.
"No, Audrey needs me," Emma remarked.
"Em, Audrey is-"
"Don't you dare say she's dying," Emma demanded.
Brooke bit her lip and sighed, shaking her head.
"Just tell her," Noah said, his voice breaking.
"Tell me? Tell me what?" Emma said.
Brooke shot a glare at Noah. "Emma, just forget about it."
"Brooke, what is it?"
Brooke shook her head, tears actually in her own eyes.
"Fucking tell me," Emma growled, her tone totally different.
Brooke sighed. "They're taking Audrey off life support. Saying there's no way she'll live."
Emma stared at Brooke, shock and desperation etched on her face.
"No," was all Emma could muster up.
"Em-Emma, just calm down, okay?"
"I-I need t-to sit down," Emma said, suddenly feeling light-headed.
"Emma?" Noah said, sounding so distant.
Emma couldn't breathe, couldn't hear. Nothing.
Brooke laid a hand on Emma's shoulder.
"When?" Emma asked.
"In four days. It's already been scheduled. There's nothing you can do," Brooke responded, lightly.
God, Emma hated that sound, that very word.
"I'm not leaving until she wakes up, or until I wake up in another life, with her," Emma declared.
Noah shot Brooke a hopeless look, but neither of them said nothing.
Nothing was definitely getting on Emma's nerves.
***Day Thirty Two***
Pale faced and teary eyed, Emma was pacing. Three days, three fucking days until her Audrey would be taken off life support, left to fend for herself. If she could, that is. Audrey was a fighter, but you couldn't fight death.
Despite Audrey has many times.
"The 1975 are having a concert," Emma said, "I know they're one of your favorites. I bought the tickets on their website if- for when you wake up," Emma quickly corrected.
"The tickets should be in anytime, now. It could be our first date, Auds."
Emma breathed out, sadly. "I love you."
***Day Thirty Five***
"Emma... Emma, wake up!" A sharp push, woke Emma out of her dreams.
Maggie stood there, looking terrified for her daughter's sanity.
"Yeah, mom?" Emma whispered.
"It's time."
Emma knew what she meant but asked, "Time for what?" anyway.
Dr. Hoffman was right behind Maggie, so was Mr. Jensen.
"Emma, please, don't do this," Maggie begged.
Emma shook her head. "Audrey's not dead."
"Emma... It's already hard enough on her dad, don't make it any harder," Maggie said.
"Ms. Duvall, I need you to leave the room," Dr. Hoffman ordered.
"I need five minutes, with Audrey," Emma said, not asking, not begging, demanding.
The doctor shrugged. "Mr. Jensen, it's up to you."
He didn't say a word, just nodded his head and left. Grief obvious on his face. As Maggie and Dr. Hoffman left the room, Emma stared at Audrey. Stared at her lifeless corpse.
"I'm sorry," Emma said, "For ditching you. I was scared, confused, and just wanting to be normal... But, I-I loved you, too. I still love you. This whole time, I've loved you. Audrey, I love you. It's like this whole time I knew we were meant to be, I just didn't say anything. I just wanted the last thing you hear to be my voice, I wanted the last thing you think of to be of me, and the last words you hear are of me telling you I love you."
Emma grabbed Audrey's hand, remembering how Audrey held it so tightly beforehand.
"I forgive you. I just hope you can forgive me. For treating you like shit, for throwing you out, when I just wanted to have you as my girlfriend. I never admitted it, but you're always going to be my soulmate; and I'll never find anyone like you. You're one of a kind, Audrey Marion Jensen."
Audrey always hated her middle name.
"I know you hate so much about you, but I love it. Love everything about you. I love all the flaws. Just know I'll never forget you. And I'll always love you."
Emma kissed Audrey's lips.
That's when the door opened.
"Ready to go, honey?" Maggie asked.
"I want to stay. Just to be here. I owe it to Audrey," Emma sniffled.
"Emma can if she wants, Audrey always did love you, Emma. Loved you so much, she died for you," Mr. Jensen said, breaking down into tears.
Dr. Hoffman sighed, getting emotional, himself.
Maggie nodded her head and whispered, "I'll be out in the hall."
"You ready?" Dr. Hoffman asked, walking over to the machine.
No.
"Yes," Emma lied, grabbing Audrey's hand and squeezed. This would be the last time ever holding that hand again.
Mr. Jensen shook his head but said, "Just do it. I can't stand to see my baby this way."
Emma shot him a look.
So much pain, no room for comfort.
Emma cried hard as the machine whirled off and the breathing tube was taken out. Audrey Jensen wasn't breathing on her own, there wasn't any hope.
"It's over," Dr. Hoffman said, looking down at his feet.
Emma tried to retreat her hand back, still crying her eyes out, but Audrey's hand was melded into her's. So strange. So weird. Maybe it was just a reflex?
Then Audrey breathed.
"Emma?"
Emma's eyes shot up into those green-bluish eyes.
Audrey was awake. Breathing. Looking into Emma's eyes, clutching her hand, talking to her.
Mr. Jensen stared wide eyed at Audrey, Dr. Hoffman did that same.
Hell, that didn't matter to Emma, because Audrey was fucking alive.
"A-Audrey!" Emma cried-no screamed out, grabbing Audrey and pulling her into a kiss.
"I thought I lost you."
"You'll never lose me, Em."
Emma continued to cry.
Audrey whispered out loud, not even caring her father was watching.
"I love you, too, Emma Duvall."