June 18th 2010

Dear diary,

I don't know how to think anymore. Every time I think its getting better, it doesn't. After changing, I realized that I am not the same person as everyone knew, or even I knew. I'm different. I just wished I could figure everything out. And how I wish, I... we all could live a happy life. it's hard to admit that everything is not the same, I feel more lonely and terrified. If I only knew how to make these feelings disappear, than just maybe I'd be able to find what im looking for. The one thing that makes everything alright... what is it?

Elena Gilbert.

The sun was shining through my windows, I could hear the birds chirping along with the wind in the trees, I guess this is one of the perks at having mega hearing. It is very peaceful here at the Salvatore manor, but it's somewhat lonely. Jeremy is here and occasionally bonnie Caroline and Matt come over as well. I just can't shake this feeling that somethings missing, or maybe it's just me. It's been over a year now that everything with silos has ended and it's been around the same time.. that... he left.

-flash back-

I watched as he silently and quickly packed his bags. The Window I'm watching out of, seems so far away like I can't reach out to him from here. But no matter how hard I tried, I can't seem to make my legs move. It broke my heart to hear the conversation between Damon and Stephen.

" your acting crazy, do you even know how crazy you sound right now?!" stephan exclaimed.

" Well if the universe wants me out of the way! Well why the fuck not" he trailed off probably knowing I was listening he looked up at the Window where I stood and watched as his eyes met mine. He turned back to Stephen. And returned to putting his things in his car.

" that old witch was right... everything wasn't real Stephen! ." Damon was defiantly dead serious he rarely ever snaps like that at Stephen ( well not in a serious manner anyways)

"Come on, stop this, come inside and we can talk this out" Stephen grabbed damons shoulder, at the sight I thought I was going to cry but instead I stood there like an emotion-less brat.

Damon took both his hands and placed them on Stephens face, loooked him straight in the eyes.

" this is something inevitable, like the universe is correcting it's self.. or some such bullshit I don't know... all I know is that I never belonged here. Who was I fooling my self! I never once thought of playing hero! That's not my job, and I sure as hell ain't gunna act like I can protect anyone here I'm a killer... I'm a vampire not a jolly ol' saint. .." he grabbed his last bag threw it in car. But before leaving he turned around faced his only brother and said the one thing, that Damon was unexpectingly going to say.

"And when im gone don't go get your self into trouble... and take care of her. Oh and don't destroy my house. I may want to come back to it, in one peice ." he smiled then turned to face the car door.. opened it... and got into the very thing that would take him away forever. and drove away.

Stephen and I looked down the road after Damons light blue car. As it swerved onto the road and disappeared.

-end of flashback-

I was so mad with Damon that he left. What after all we been through he actually had the nerve to leave. Before I knew it I had thrown everything he left on his dresser to the floor. I felt rage run through my body, almost uncontrollable, until I sensed someone at the doors.

(/) - no POV

"You know I can understand your anger, but try not to destroy the place." Stephen stood by the door arms crossed.

Elena noticed what she had done and quickly got on her knees and started picking up all the thing she threw. Stephen got on his knees too, but stoped when he saw a picture of his brother and Elena.

"When did you guys take this?" he asked holding up the picture.

" last summer." she said and grabbed the picture and started to chuckle when she remembered that day.

" I remember the day bonnie took this, she told me that this is the happiest she'd seen me in awhile." she felt tears well up in her eyes, Stephen noticed he cursed his brother for making her cry, but Damon did have his reasons for leaving, and he had promised Damon we would never tell Elena, only his brother could. But pushed the thought away, and helped Elena make the room up again.

Then he remembered ever since Damon left once a week Elena would come in here and clean.. why she did it was beyond his reasoning but guessed that she was probably holding onto the slightest of hope, that he would return to us. His thoughts were interrupted by her gasping. He turned to look out of the Window and there stood a group of young vampires. He didn't know any of them but sure as hell didn't want to either! He turned and grabbed Elena by the elbow.

"Elena " he whispered than he grabbed her hand and in seconds whisped her away.

When she blinked she was in a new room.

Only this room she hadn't seen before. She looked around for a second then she caught sight of stephan who was moving a few things over to the door to block anyone from getting in and... out.

"Stephen what is this place? and why are we even here?" she didn't even give him chance to breathe . Stephen looked over to her and sighed.

" I wasn't about to have a huge confrontation with a horde of new vampires." he stated as he slumped down by the door just opposite of a standing Elena who at this point crossed her arms in a annoying kind of way. Stephen continued.

" as to where this room was and why we are here, well actually. This was Damons idea" he looked away and stared at his shoes for a moment before looking back at Elena. She sat down.

" Damon?" she asked in a stupidly way. Like his name has never been mentioned before.

" I promised him I wouldn't tell you." he stated when he sighed again. She scrunched up her face. He noticed and half smiled.

"But of course your not going to let me "not" tell you, right?" he chuckled. He waved her over to him so he could tell her the very thing he promised he wouldn't.

She scooted over and sat with her knees buried in her chest as her hands cascaded over her legs, she sat in silence.

" it happened a little over a year ago.."