An Investigator's Report
It was 12:15am on a Sunday. Kudoki was anticipating the arrival of Bimmy where Bimmy believed they would share the next few years living in bliss until they eventually had kids and bought a house. Kudoki had other plans. The drinks were meticulously spiked. The surgical equipment was hidden under the bed, and the embalming liquid was in the orange juice container. He didn't know it yet, but in mere minutes he would be taxidermied.
After the not so long flight and only 37 minutes of a taxi ride where he was forced to listen to an ethnic man speak about the healing qualities of drinking your nephews pee, Bimmy was ready to fuck. "Kaitlyn!" he spoke in glee as he took in the sight of the seemingly pristine apartment where he would spend the next few years before the police followed up on the missing person's report that was to be filed at 7:38pm exactly 4 days from now. They embraced in a hug that gave more warmth than he had ever gotten from his Mom. Kudoki whisked him to their room filled with body pillows. They were so carefully crafted, the characters appear to be woven with fine thread, though they were actually made with human skin. Perhaps if Bimmy had looked closely he would have noticed and fled. Unfortunately for him he was distracted by Sonic 06.
"Why the fuck does he love collecting the golden circle things so much" "Am I about to make art out of a retarded person?" It would be more valuable that way she decided. Slightly annoyed that he was engrossed more in a hedgehog than the velvet cock-slot between her legs she excused herself to retrieve the Faygo bottle she had had tampered with mere hours earlier. She had heard that it was the drink of choice for degenerates, to others obviously she had confused Juggalo with Weeaboo but that was of no concern at this stage of the project for Bimmy had begun to sweat.
To those unaware Sonic 06 is very serious business to a die-hard fan. The stress of collecting every golden torus was almost overwhelming without the relief of a cold fizzy pop. This is where fate came into play for the worst. As he drank with earnest he may have noticed the off taste caused by the Rohypnol, and he surely would have if it were something which had commonly touched his pallet such as Mountain Dew Code Red, but alas this was Faygo.
It was a grueling wait, she was so eager to begin. The 30 minutes for the drug to start its effect compound with the 15 minutes it took for him to drink it were eating away at her. She needed to be filled with her soon-to-be art. Once he was unconscious she would take him inside her. Don't ask questions. The investigators and psychologists were confused too. This is where OnlyAfro came in to the picture. It was to be a surprise for Kudoki. The times had come together too perfectly. Afro had made plans to be in the area months before and Bimmy had invited him to come over, which is why the door had been unlocked and Afro had simply let himself in.
Kudoki had always been a hidden disaster. She was nicknamed the *Cascadia subduction zone* by investigators. The origins or her instability were never pinpointed but it was unanimously agreed to be her mixed heritage. On the outside many considered her to be just another *Troll* a common internet lingo for cool kids who do funny things. For instance, her school record revealed that in the first grade she had convinced a girl we will call Sally to "Eat all the crayons in the box." claiming "I did it last week and now I can see three new colors!" Then she proceeded to point to different shades of gray around the room at random.
Sally needed surgery to rectify her obstructed her colon.
By the second grade she had dowsed a boy's hair with Elmer glue and in the fourth made a poison ivy salad for her crush at the time. It was not until the fifth that her behavior turned to an insidious nature wherein she filled another student's desk with dead crickets which she had bought from a disgruntled PetSmart employee in an ally. He was later found sewn into a body pillow during the arrest. It is unknown where she kept him during her childhood. The darker nature of these actions were only recently discovered, so as a result this behavior was disregarded with the phrase "Boys will be boys." Since up until the 6th grade when she achieved menses, she was mistaken, even by her own parents to be a boy. Her clit was large and she was titless.
The full extent of her actions during adolescence are unknown as she is rather uncooperative and seems to enjoy waterboarding. With eager though, as if she is telling a bedtime story she recalls tales of digging pitfall traps in the woods by the local homeless camps, trapping and binding live dear then laying them on highways to "Mess with the insurance people" and filling the door locks of nearby battered women's shelters with super glue.
When presented with the Trolley Problem which states "There is a runaway trolley barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are five people tied up and unable to move. The trolley is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the trolley will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track. You have two options: (1) Do nothing, and the trolley kills the five people on the main track. (2) Pull the lever, diverting the trolley onto the side track where it will kill one person." She is recorded saying "I would just walk down the street and blow the charges I rigged to the nearby building"
At exactly 1pm a coincidence of dividable numbers in all honestly, OnlyAfro entered the apartment. He took in the pleasant, feminine smells of the dwelling and admired the light green color of the painted walls. It had been a long time and he had forgotten the luxury of being in a female's place of living. Putting aside his immediate ventures of the mind he continued further until he had thought his arrival was untimely. You see the noises he perceived coming from the bedroom were that seemingly of copulation, the beautiful art of when a man and a woman come together in passion and thrust. The actuality of which was rather disappointing as he glanced in after crawling forward with dexterity he did not know he had. It was Bimmy seemingly drunk and playing Sonic 06.
"Hello?" Afro whispered in the feeblest of ways.
"You meme loving meme fuck!" Exclaimed Bimmy, stumbling forward and careening head first in to the Ikea dresser with ecstasy. Afro noticed Bimmy's shirt that read "Bazinga!" and made a mental note of his poor fashion choice.
As Bimmy picked himself up from the ruins of cheap particle board Kudoki and Afro were not phased at all.
"I thought the niggers at the airport would interrogate you for being an immigrant, really never thought you would be here on time"
"No things worked out" Afro spoke in an unconfutable manner which dominated his every interaction.
The three of them settled on to the bed play Sonic 06, Afro and Bimmy occasionally taking shots of vodka out of a meme shot glass. After the long travel Bimmy had just endured and his lowered stamina from being a club-footed cripple it was not suspicious at all when he became delirious and past out drooling in an awkward position.
Afro felt a slight prick into his outer thigh. He looked and saw a devilish grin so dark his neurons could only relate it to the one he himself wore when he was gathering footage for *God Save the Queen* in mere seconds he felt slightly drunk, than stoned, a combination of both then it was as if he was living a dream more lucid than ever. Ketamine and Kudoki were the culprits. One of them being obvious, the other only after research showed she routinely broke into veterinary hospitals to steal animal parts and narcotics for malicious acts.
She had no alibi, this never would have been a problem if Afro had not stumbled in. You see she had given Bimmy an address nearby incase relatives and friends asked. When he called confused about the cemetery he showed up in, he was not aware of the foreshadowing at hand and assumed this scenario was his own fault. Such was it sealed that until this YouTuber walked through the door nobody knew Bimmy's whereabouts.
Afro was zip tied, many times, in many places, to many things. He is a eunuch today as a result of low blood flow, necrosis and some precise tissue removals. This surgery was a duel engagement on both him and another. The other you could consider now a days to be remains.
In the bathroom Afro was forced to watch as the blood was drained and cleaned from the tub. The rest of what happened to Bimmy could once be found at your local library through using the computers and googling "Wikihow taxidermy". Blame Kudoki if you ever need that for legitimate purposes.
Afro's Mom had received a single text. "I have run away to Israel to buy cigarettes with my girlfriend Sheep" it said. That was the last the Venezuelan family knew of their relative Afro until four years later.
Afros family was ignorant to his online YouTube success, notable for making the video titled "He's Back", Afro had many rabid fans and Kudoki knew they had to be appeased to draw attention away in case he told people of his plans to visit Bimmy. She kept him alive albeit drugged and forced him to create increasingly bizarre and benign YouTube videos until one day she neglected her rent bill.
It was so simple. A bill of rent thrown in the trash along with the spam mail she for some reason salivated to receive was her downfall. That and the local teenagers who removed the eviction notice from her door. The authorities arrived to vacate and found Kudoki unfazed enveloping a garden gnome while playing Wizard 101, Afro drooling on moving an unplugged mouse and pressing the table as if it were a keyboard with Bimmy, now a mantelpiece above the bed looking on.
These days Afro and Kudoki ironically residence in the same mental institution. It is unknown what she did to break Afro. That investigation has just started…