A/N pairing: Since no one else has, I hereby dub the ship Mama Kenz/Lil T…*drumroll*… Momzin (as opposed to romantic ship Thievyrie or BrOTP Kamsin).
A/N setting: Assume unless there is a direct contradiction that this fic follows the story of the show through all of season four, though there is no Rainer and the final scene, as you will see, plays out differently. The chapters will each be a scene from the same timeline, but not in chronological order. Over time as more chapters are added the overall sequence of events will become clearer, but until then just go with it ;)
"Tam-Tam, honey, please sit down before you fall. I promise we are almost done, okay?"
Kenzi was near frantic as she rushed down the aisles pushing an oversized cart in front of her.
"No, no, hands in the cart. I can't hold you right now, you just gotta chill for me, kid. And sit down."
Despite her pleading, tiny hands covered in the stickiness that seems to perpetually ooze from the palms of those in their younger years continued to reach through the bars of the cart. Kenzi was quickly reaching her limit of how much she could take in one day, and the tousled toddler standing in her metal shopping trap was not far behind. With a pout and few frustrated whimpers the little mess of a child fell back hard into a sitting position, tears welling rapidly in big eyes and a piercing screech threatening to be released at any moment.
"No, no, no, just hang in there. We just gotta get you some food and, and, and something to wear, okay? Brand-new, super-pretty, any color you want, or whatevs. You don't wanna keep wearing that gross old t-shirt, do you? Especially not – ew, ew, ew, ew – now," Kenzi finished as she used the bottom of the shirt to wipe away the snot dripping from the nose of the uncooperative child.
As Kenzi withdrew her arm again, the little girl made grabby hands in her direction. She meant business with her lobbying to be picked up, and Kenzi recognized the familiar unyielding expression starting to cover her face. Not wanting this conflict to escalate to the full-blown tantrum it was headed for, Kenzi made a quick decision to sacrifice any remaining practicality in this situation and scoop up the girl. Balancing her on one hip, she struggled to walk and steer the cart with her free-hand, and it swerved dangerously back and forth down the aisle as she sped forward.
"Okay, okay, where do they hide the good stuff in this ridiculously oversized warehouse they call a store?" Kenzi cursed under her breath. "What do these little leprechauns even eat?"
"Tammy, do you eat food?" She was met with nothing but unnervingly focused green eyes. "Right, stupid question, I guess I deserved that. You must eat food; I mean big-you certainly had quite the appetite… Oh look, applesauce. You like applesauce?"
The decision whether or not to grab a jar was made for her, as her poorly controlled cart barreled into the shelves, and a few jars fell loudly into the bottom. Kenzi turned dramatically, squealing and squeezing her eyes shut, and the bundle she disturbed as she twisted squirmed violently. Prepared for the worst when she un-squinted her eyes one at a time to survey the certain mess, she was met with the first thing to go right on this hellish day.
"Oh thank all the gods in this fucking – um, I mean, um – fucking shithole of a – shit, I mean, um – craphole – oh my god, not better… Just, nevermind. Crisis frickin' averted; one point to the Russian ninja."
Taking full-advantage of her momentary good fortune, she dunked her kicking ball of trouble back into the cart.
"Look Lil T, bananas!" She yelled as a distraction as she took off running with the cart again.
By the time they had braved the labyrinth to the heart of the kid's clothing department, Tamsin had settled to focus all her energy on her very first battle: she would show her new banana nemesis no mercy. Kenzi took this chance to pull a wad of cash out of her bra and change from her pocket.
"5, 15, 25, 6, 7, 8, 9, 30, 31 dollars and… 25, 35, 39 cents," she counted quietly to herself, crouching on the floor. "Shit, you'd have thought there would be more long-lost take-out money in that couch considering how often we forget to pay."
She glanced up to the various food items now surrounding Tamsin, taking a mental stock. Applesauce, bananas, milk, bread, peanut butter, jam, tissues and veggie sticks – at least six dollars' worth of stuff if she'd done the math right. These clothes had better be cheap or she was going to have a problem.
"Okay, okay, underwear, like she needs underwear. I hope you like the days of the week," Kenzi mumbled as she grabbed a pack of unfortunately colored kiddie underwear off a nearby hook. Turning to toss them into the cart, she did a double-take and snagged a pack of little socks too, before dumping them unceremoniously behind Tamsin in the cart.
"And I guess you'll need like shirts and stuff too, huh?" She said to the girl, who was definitely not listening to her thrilling shopping narration.
Walking over to the shirt display she reached for a little pink t-shirt, but when she pulled it off the rack she almost dropped it in horror. On the front was some sort of cartoon forest animal made of glitter with big bedazzled eyes framed by little hearts and a speech-bubble reading 'You're my deer'. She gasped, putting one hand to her heart, and slowly hung the shirt back as best she could while touching it with only the tips of her thumb and index finger.
"Redneck shopping," she gritted out in disgust, backing away with feigned nonchalance and a hair-flip, glancing around to see if anyone saw her touch that. "Is this my life now? 'Cuz I will die before I wear some blouse from Wal-Mart."
The horror she felt at this epiphany was short-lived, as a deeper anxiety took over when she looked up and was overwhelmed by the shirt options spread out in front of her in every size, cut and color imaginable. Tears suddenly formed in her eyes.
"Oh my god, what is this Gatsby bullshit. They are just shirts. Get your shit together woman!" Kenzi scolded herself, but this attempt at levity did nothing against the emotions threatening to bubble over. They had been growing and rising all day, and these shirts were apparently going to be the last straw. She clamped her hand tight over her mouth as the first sob escaped without further warning.
She couldn't hold the tears back any longer, and sob after sob rolled through her body, her shoulders shaking. She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there with her head down and her arm across her stomach to hold herself together, when she felt a soft touch on her shoulder. She jumped to face the person accosting her, now on high alert.
She came face to face with a small empathetic smile, and warm grey eyes looked back into Kenzi's clear blue, now bluer-looking than ever from the red rimming them. A woman, maybe in her late sixties, stood before her, her hand still gently resting on Kenzi's arm.
"How're you doing darling? Having one of those days?" The woman crooned sympathetically.
Kenzi was not one to cry in front of others, and definitely not one to talk to random old people who made small talk with strangers in the mall, but something in the woman's gaze was friendly and comforting to her, and urged her to open up about her problems. She could certainly use a little support right about now.
"I don't know which to choose, I don't know what I'm doing! How am I supposed to do this when I can't even pick a damn shirt?" Kenzi managed to choke out between sobs through the fingers still over her mouth.
Somehow the woman seemed to understand her garbled words, her eyes darting between the hysterical young woman standing among the shirts and the small dirty child in the pathetically-stocked shopping cart. The woman continued to try to soothe the poor crying girl, coaxing her in a sugar-sweet voice.
"Why don't you let me give you a hand, okay honey? But how about first you go grab your little one, um, she looks like she could use a hug."
Kenzi nodded and obediently walked over to the toddler still contentedly sat trying to open her banana and snatched her up with a jarring jolt. She clutched Tammy tightly against her chest, wrapping both arms around her and working the fingers of one hand into blonde curls, pressing her little face into the crook of her neck. Tamsin mewled at being crushed but otherwise didn't fuss; maybe she sensed this wasn't the time. Kenzi loosened her death-grip slightly and took a steadying breath, inhaling the scent of baby hair. She let out a shaky breath and nodded to the woman that she was ready to continue.
"Okay, what do you need to get? Shirts?" The woman questioned, noticing the child was apparently wearing nothing but an adult t-shirt.
"Everything. Just everything. But I don't have much money," Kenzi murmured sadly with a final sniffle, flapping the small wad of cash she was still carrying once.
"Okay, that's okay. I see you've already got some socks and panties. Good start sweetie."
Kenzi cringed at the word panties, but was grateful for the woman's attempt at encouragement. She followed numbly behind the woman as she grabbed a 3-pack of pastel shirts, pointing to the 'Ages 2-3' label as she laid them in the cart she was now pushing. "So she has room to grow a bit," she commented, as she led them into the section with pants and dresses. She somehow selected a pair of the tiniest jeans Kenzi had ever seen and a little purple dress 'to wear over the shirts'.
"Um, shoes?" The woman queried, and when Kenzi shook her head dejectedly made off towards the shoe department, stopping only to grab a little red coat along the way.
Having finally managed to wrestle Tamsin into a pair of light-up sneakers, she smiled, accomplished.
"There that ought to do it," she clapped, as Tamsin picked up one foot at a time to examine the flashing lights with brows knit and a look of great suspicion. The woman started again, "So, was there a fire or some sort of –"
"Okay, um, thanks for everything. Bye!" Kenzi spit out as she rolled the cart away quickly. Situation back under control, she was feeling less tearful and new-found embarrassment at her outburst made her cheeks burn as she escaped the kind woman and her now-awkward chit-chat.
It wasn't until she had heard the little pleading cry "Mama!" several times that she realized in her rush to flee the shoe aisle she had left behind something – or rather someone – important. She slammed her heels into the linoleum and screeched to a halt, pivoting to be met with a heart-wrenching sight. The toddler was doing her best to pursue her, arms reaching out in front of her and tears streaking chubby red cheeks, her flashing feet uncoordinated as she slowly bumbled toward Kenzi, lifting them up more than forward. 'She always did run like a derp,' Kenzi thought to herself, before mentally scolding herself for making jokes when she was the cause of the little girl's desperate tears. She closed the distance between them and gathered her in her arms again.
"Oh, Tammerz, don't cry, I was just, um, giving you the chance to test out your amazeballs new shoes," she lied in an attempt to lessen the guilt she felt at seeing Tamsin's frightened expression. "I would never leave you behind. You're my girl T!"
But Tamsin had clearly reached the same limit Kenzi herself had breached not half an hour earlier in the clothing department, and continued to wail in spite of Kenzi's cooing and attention.
"Hokay, to checkout it is!" Kenzi pronounced, as she marched child and cart toward the exit with renewed determination to end this nightmare before she went fully insane from the shrill shrieking in her ear.
At the counter, Kenzi set a still-sobbing Tamsin back in the cart to load its other contents onto the conveyor belt. Her cries softened as she spotted the previously abandoned banana and clutched it in her hands, but grew in volume again as she smashed the offending fruit against the side of the cart when it still refused to peel.
"I know you're hungry Tam-Tam, just a few more minutes and you can have applesauce in the car, I promise. Please, please, please, just stop," Kenzi begged as she wrestled the banana away from the child to pay, sparking more outrage. She felt the emotions from before building again as the surrounding shoppers and cashier turned to stare at the scene unfolding. She was so distracted that she forgot to watch the total on the register until the man announced in a disdainful tone, "$36.28."
"Shit – I mean crap. Um, I only have $31," Kenzi leaned in to say quietly to the man.
"$36.28," the man repeated, emphasizing the six in way that made clear he would not budge on this. "Miss, you're gonna have to pay this amount now or put something back," he continued loudly.
"But I need all of this stuff!" Kenzi exclaimed, face flushing at the looks she was receiving. She didn't know what to do and Tamsin's continued chorus of "Mama!" was keeping her from thinking. She lifted the girl again and bounced her up and down trying to get her to shut up for just a second so she could figure this out. "Yeah, yeah, I gotcha. Shhh."
"Okay, um, how much was the milk? No, wait, um, how much were the shoes? You don't need shoes, do you T, I can just carry you or something…" She reasoned as she tried to pull the shoes off of kicking feet. Tamsin was putting up a good fight and Kenzi was forced to prop her against the counter as she tried to work them off, continuing in an increasingly hysterical voice, "C'mon T, work with me here. We just need to give these shoes back to the nice man, and then we can leave and you can have some applesauce and stop screaming in my ear and –"
"Here. Just, here." A five dollar bill was shoved in her face by a shopper from the growing line behind her.
"Wha-what?"
"Just take it, okay? Get your kid home."
My kid. My kid. Tears welled in her eyes as she took the money and handed it to the cashier, with a soft 'thank you' to the shopper. Random strangers were being so generous to her today, more so than her own supposed family, she thought bitterly as she grabbed her kid and her bag and hurried out of the store.