A/N: Just thought I'd throw this one into the bear pit, don't really know what to think of it. It literally fell into my head, newly spawned and covered in goop. It was then that I realised that I was pregnant. But enough of this childish drabbling, on with the tale.

Disclaimer: I don't own Half-life. Valve does. Lucky b*st*rds.

The Most Profound of Thoughts

Freedom! Lamarr is free! No more too-small-box-prison. Box-prison remind Lamarr too much of big-falling-sky-box. Lamarr not like it in there, even though Lamarr had brother-sister headcrabs to talk to.

Lamarr must escape big-science-room and find one true love. Science-man-Kleiner must not catch Lamarr. This time Lamarr will be free forever.

Lamarr see science-man-Kleiner! Hide! Hide! Hide! Lamarr see metal-ceiling-tube. Lamarr is safe now. Must find way out.

Lamarr hear voices, listen quick!

"Everything alright Dr. Kleiner?" Lamarr recognise kind-lady-Alyx. Lamarr like Alyx. Alyx doesn't put Lamarr in too-small-box-prison.

"Oh, Alyx. Well, almost alright. Lamarr has gotten out of her crate again. If I didn't know betterm I'd suspect Barney of trapping and- My goodness! Gordon Freeman!

Lamarr lose interest now. But Lamarr still can't find way to escape. Wait- Lamarr hear more voices.

"Well is he here? Oh, there you are. Man, Gordon. You stirred up the hive."

Lamarr know that voice. Lamarr cherish it always. Voice belong to true-love-Barney. Quick, Lamarr hide in glass-tank-suit-room.

"Here we go - Argh!"

Lamarr love Barney. Barney first person Lammar ever see, back when Lamarr had beak. Lamarr followed Barney to big-science-room, but Lamarr was caught by science-man-Kleiner, who removed Lamarr's beak.

"Dammit, get it off me!"

"Lamarr! There you are."

Science-man-Kleiner! Lamarr must hide again. Wait - Lamarr see New Person.

"Don't worry Gordon, she's de-beaked and completely harmless. The worst she could do is attempt to couple with your head. Fruitlessly."

Lamarr no like Gordon-glasses-man. He look at Lamarr with scary-face. Lamarr see metal-ceiling tube again! Lamarr hide!

-- A few minutes later--

Lamarr hear more voices, and loud-scary-whirring-noise. Lamarr will investigate.

"Oh fiddle-sticks, what now?"

"It's your pet, the freakin' head-humper!"

Lamarr see bright-light-shiny! Lammer is hypnotisizedzed! Lamarr will jump and catch light!

Where is Lamarr now? Lamarr can't see big-science-room anymore! Lamarr is finally free!

Lamarr see more bright-light-shiny. What is happening to Lamarr?

Upside down! Lamarr is upside down! Wait... No! Lamarr is back in too-small-box-prison, Lamarr must escape agai-

"Oh goodness, there you are Lamarr. You gave me quite a fright! Anyway, I do believe it's your feeding time."

Lamarr escape later. Lamarr like watermelon-feed-time too much.

END

A/N: So that's it. As I said before I don't really know what to do with this, I'm considering turning it into a series, based on what I thought Lamarr could get up to throughout the Half Life 2 timeline. Let me know what you think using that magical button down there. Go on, it's a button. Oh so tempting. You know you want to.