Jarem's room is divine. He had been stuck in this room for a whole day now. He had no idea how he had gotten there. He was all alone in his room. Alone with his thoughts. His hand puppets. His hand puppets' thoughts. . . . . He only knows the room as The Temple of the Divine Ladys. And he only knows that because all the creepy pictures of ladys spoke it to him. Whenever they speak his hand puppets go nuts. They only speak when they want to speak. Ofcourse not when Jarem wants them to. Must be a women thing. So there Jarem is alone in a room full of creepy paintings of ladys who stare at him all day from all around him. Thank the gods for the lonesome chandelier hanging in the middle of the room. If not for that The Temple of the Divine Ladys would drive his hand puppets to eat him. Then he would have his hands full. . . Literally. . . .
Lara's Room is known only as the Great Grottoes. It's more like a cave. She doesn't care. It doesn't phase her like it does Jarems hand puppets. Jarems lucky. He's getting scowled at by countless women. Lara gets dark smelly cold wet walls. But like I said she doesn't particularly care. In fact the only reason she isn't calmly reading the latest novel right now is because she can't rightly read in pitch black darkness. . . oh well for Lara. She'll have to deal with the Great Grottoes. Did you hear something? What is that noise?
Hercules' room is known as Fountain of the 2 Rivers. He's tried to get out. If anyone could get out it would be Herc. The fountain won't budge. and the rivers, which run from it, flow into the walls. Into nowhere. They just disappear through the walls. Well look at the bright side Herc won't dehydrate! He leans down for a drink out of the crystal clear fountain. He coughs and sputters as the water hits his tounge. Salty. Salty sea too bad. Seems Herc doesn't get a bonus after all. He can try fishing he supposes. Too bad there is no fish to fish. Muahah Not even Herc can drink from the fountain in the Fountain of the 2 Rivers.
Iolaus' room is the Royal Sanctuary of the Aged Illumination. Iolaus stopped paying attention a while ago. Paying attention is far too much work. He might of enjoyed all these royal blankets, and jewelry if he hadn't been sharing it all with an aged version of his cousin Orestes. Orestes would babble on about that gold goblet, then that silver woven tapestry. yadda yadda. Iolaus just wanted some Rabbit stew. Yeah! with some bread and cheese to go with it! And PIZZA! whats pizza? But NO. In all its weirdness, which Iolaus also stopped noticing, Orestes will not shut up. And when Orestes startd glowing that really pushed Iolaus over the top. But he just can't figure out the Royal Sanctuary of the Aged Illumination.
Ares' room is disturbing. It is the Caverns of the Living Maiden of Tri. Ares has more then one room. And take it from him that's nothing to gloat about. He tried. He couldnt keep it up after even 5 minutes. Every cavern he enters! Every single one! She is there. She just stares at him. simply stands and stares with big lost eyes. Ares has no sympathy for her. In fact he would acually like her being around if she would suddenly drop and worrship him. He can see thats not going to happen. Her name is Tri and she haunts Ares in the Caverns of the Living Maiden of Tri. Or is she living?
Ioluas II's room isn't a room. It's a valley. Better known as the Valley of the Everlasting Confusion. He acually has the worst of this so far. One minute he thinks he Is Drol, king of the valley! The next minute he thinks his is Filella, slave girl. Sometimes he even remembers he is Iolaus II. He is so confused. The valley has vast hills that spin and dip and float! It confuses him even more! He's rather just be locked in a room. Why does he have to be the confused one with all the hills and grass!? Because he is easy to confuse thats why! Now he thinks he is a rabbit. He munches clover in the Valley of the Everlasting Confusion. MMm yum Clover. He's certainly getting his greens.
Loki is in a small room called the Swamp of Smell . You'd think it would be big. just a room. Made of swamp. Loki is fairly mad. He has to sink slowly in his room while the others are free to walk! He just sinks. It smells bad! he blames Thor and Balder even though it obviously isn't them who smell. He thinks they do anyway. He hopes he sinks through and lands on their heads. Or atleast lands on someone! it would get some anger out atleast. He is halfway sunk through the Swamp of Smell.
Strifes stuck in mountains! Mountains of the Radiant Darkness. To state the obvious the darkness is very radiant here. Strife only notices obvoius things . He doesn't notice Lokis legs dangling in the middle of thin air. Nope i don't think he will ever notice that. He is now too busy noticing he is stuck here. Maybe he can make a living here and acually be a true God instead of a godling for once. nah. Too boring here. Though it's certainly dark enough in the Mountains of the Radiant Darkness.
Dahak is in the Glittering Hall. He curses this place time and time again. Glitter sticks to everything! He looks like a walking preschool art project! He curses preschool. He curses little Children. He curses his daughter just to test her even though now is not the time for that nonsense. ITS NOT NOSENSE! He's furious now. Sparkle sparkle sparkle the walls go. GAG GAG CURSE GAG he gos. This could go on forever in the Glittering Hall.
Snake is stuck at Del Red Park. It's a dumb park. Full of only him though. Noone else. Him and his cardboard box, and his machine gun, his grenades,land mines, missile launcher,pistol,C-4,matches,flame thrower,knife,and cameoflauge. Nope Del Red Park won't last a minute against David Hayter. He lets all his weapons loose. He is still stuck. Not a singed leaf. Or will it?
Lone ranger room is only a small cave called the Cave of Revelation. He thinks he has heard muffled curses coming from ther other side of one wall. He thinks it might be Lara. He has tried to make contact. He fails. The cave keeps bringing the revelataion of justice to him. He must get out and bring justice upon the land. justice. justice. justice. JUSTICEEEEE! He wonders if Lara can hear him in the Cave of Revelation. Can she atleast hear justice?
Tontos Room is simply named Pond. It's obviously him sitting in a pond. But unlike Strife Tonto doesn't notice obvious things. He notices things like how the word justice keeps rippleing in ringlets upon the water. Or how the algea mutates on the lily pad next to his knee. Or how the water vibrates as missile launchers go off in the far distance. Water seems to come from the wall filling his lonley pond which he doesn't notice. He does notice the water from the wall is quite salty. Which makes his pond salty. But Of course he doesn't notice the Pond.
All Jack knows is he is hog tied to the Monument of the Unknown Amazons. A bunch of women are dancing around him with torches of fire. He wants some rum. Atleast before they burn him or something else just as awful. kissing him would be nice. But from what he has figured that does not seem to be their intention. . . . rum? fire. . . Amazons? The Amazons will do as they wish to him on the Monument of the Unknown Amazons. . . . RUM!
Macgyver is in the Arena. There is a beast on the other side of the ring and he knows it. It has not been let out yet. And he cant see it. But he knows it's there. Maybe more then one. He is trying to build a weapon out of the items he has around him. Which is only sand. . . I guess he could throw sand in the beast face. Lets see how far that will get him in the Arena.
Balder is stuck in the Labyrinth. He keeps wandering in circles. For all he knows it is one big circle! Thorns,boulders,walls of concrete,quicksand and even mobs of homeless people block his path at every turn. He makes no progress. He does notice how good he smells. He smells like te smell of baking bread wafting through a warm spring day. MMMMMMMMMMM he smells so lovely. He wonders what Loki and Thor smell like right now. He shouldn't be wondering that. He should be wondering how to get out of this Labyrinth.
Thor is grudgingly stuck in the Square of the Ghostly Unicorn. Not only that. He is literally stuck on the unicorn. Like his butt is glued to its back! . . . not literally mind you. . . but still! And the worst part is that He smells like a muffin faerie hybrid all perfumed up! AND EVEN WORSE IS THAT HIS HAMMER IS OUT OF REACH! it is simply on the ground, but everytime he leans down to pick it up THE GOD FORSAKEN UNICORN DOES A FRILLY PRINCESS LEAP! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW He will not give up. But eventually the unicorn prances daintily through the gardens. And Thor has no choice but to go along for the pretty ride, away from his manly hammer, and deeper into the Square of the Ghostly Unicorn.