A/N: Also posted to Ao3 9/25/13... oops.
"Logan," Kendall says into the darkness of their room. He's staring at the ceiling and he knows Logan isn't asleep yet.
"Logan I have to tell you something."
"Mmm – what?" Logan mumbles out, voice croaky.
He opens and closes his mouth a few times and takes a deep breath. "I do have a dream."
"Yeah, I know – the one where we're on stage and successful – you told me that." Logan mumbles before yawning loudly.
"It's not my dream – that was like a goal."
"Okay. But what is it? We would've helped you get it. Or live it, or whatever."
He wants to look over at Logan, mussed hair, sheets tangled around his torso, and see whether his eyes are open – but he can't tell him to his face. The ceiling understands – the ceiling always hears him out. "It's not a dream that happens in one night." Kendall squeezes his eyes shut; his voice sounds way too high and strained and this is not how it's supposed to go.
"Well I – we – can still help you ... what is it?"
"It's not – I don't know – I don't think you –"
"Kendall, just tell me, okay? I am your best friend and you know you can tell me anything." His voice is sleepy, low, and soothing, but Kendall can tell he's paying attention.
He takes a few deep breaths, trying to figure out how to say it. "I want ... I want two kids and a house and a partner who loves me." He glances over at Logan finally, a small smile on his face, and sees Logan staring at him. "I mean, I want to get woken up in the middle of the night for 2AM feedings or a nightmare and hold my kids until they fall asleep. I want sweet stupid kisses in the kitchen and I would be totally fine scheduling sex."
Logan opens and closes his mouth a few times before he furrows his eyebrows across the room at his best friend. "But you're totally going to have that. It's not a dream – it's your future."
He shakes his head and turns back to the ceiling. "It's not that easy. You don't know when you'll meet your soul mate or if they love you back or if you can get married or if they even want kids."
"Kendall, all I was saying was that – I guess I thought everybody had that dream, y'know? I mean I've got a dream of a nice little house with an office and a music room but the kids still get their own bedroom... and I know it won't happen. But I can't imagine you doing anything else – there isn't a future Kendall in my mind who isn't a dad." He looks back over and they lock eyes. "It might not be easy – but it's going to happen."
Kendall smiles in appreciation but doesn't say anything, rearranging and smoothing his blanket. After they're both silent a while he looks over and Logan is still watching him, waiting for him to say something. "So you want a house that's big enough for a room for every kid, an office and a music room? I hope you want a master bedroom too." He grins widely over at Logan.
"Of course. What kind of an idiot do you take me for?"
"You're not an idiot – you just don't always get the obvious."
"Master bedrooms are standard in dream houses."
"I can't see Jo in my future dream no matter how hard I try." Kendall blurts out.
Logan doesn't miss a beat. "Well, who do you see in your future? Anyone you know or just a no-name?"
They're both sitting up on their elbows facing each other now, and Kendall realizes he can't really hide his face anymore – he's all in now. "How can I find my soul mate if I can't break up with a girlfriend I know I can't stay with forever?"
Logan plops down onto his bed before popping up to sit all the way upright. "You love Jo. We all love Jo. Of course you don't want to break up with her – you have a perfect relationship. Really. It's disgusting."
"No future!" He bites back, resisting the urge to yell.
"So answer my question – who do you see in your future?" Kendall bites his lips, looking away from his friend. "What kind of person? Is she funny? Does she make you breakfast? Work a lot? Is she as passionate about your kids as you are?"
Logan's eyebrows are raised slightly, watching Kendall fidget around his bed. He lets out a big sigh before telling his fingers, "It's not a she."
Logan nods his head a few times, pushing out his lips. "Okay. My question still stands. What's he like? Imaginary soul mate guy?"
Kendall tiptoes slowly through his words. "I usually don't imagine a person – it's me with the kids – and I know he's there. I know he'll give me breakfast kisses, and make terrible jokes, and love me more than life." He peeks up at Logan – still watching closely – before he takes a breath and continues. "When I do see someone – if it's not just a stand-in shape –" he glances up again, "it's you."
He tries to gauge Logan's reaction – if somehow he's ruined their friendship – but Logan's face freezes for a second before Kendall recognizes his thinking face. He hopes that what he's thinking about is what Kendall's thinking about – the nights when they would climb in bed together after a hockey practice or a long day of rehearsal. Nights they don't sleep and never talk about, but Kendall can't forget. He wants to climb into bed with him right now and nuzzle into the mussed dark hair, but Logan is thinking.
Logan quirks his head to the side, looking up at Kendall. "So I guess you want a master bedroom?" He grins even after Kendall throws a pillow at his head. "I promise we will have a master bedroom."
"I was being serious, you jerk!" But Kendall's smiling through his annoyance – relief flooding through him more than anything.
"So was I!" Logan throws the pillow back across the room. "You know my dream with the house and the kids? You're there! You're always there – and I originally thought you were just there because of course my best friend visits and plays with my kids – but you were there because you're their dad and my husband."
For a few seconds Kendall's overcome with the picture in his head of Logan handing him a tiny baby that he forgets to breathe. His chest hurts from its rapid expansion and he has to stop himself from vaulting across the room to kiss him. "So maybe you can help me with my dream?" And they both smile stupidly at each other until Kendall remembers. "If that's okay with our girlfriends."
Logan's smile perseveres as he slinks across the room into Kendall's bed, irrevocably messing up the sheets. "I'm sure we'll figure out how to break up with them by then."
He kisses him firmly on the mouth, leaning his whole body into him, tilting them back toward the mattress, and Kendall responds enthusiastically. Logan kisses down his neck to his collarbone, a hand pushing his shirt up, but Kendall's guilt returns. "Logan I'm serious. They have to know." His hands are in Logan's hair and pants, but Logan understands and stops his kissing to look at Kendall.
"We'll figure it out. Tomorrow."
The look in his eyes is sincere, and Kendall believes him – if only for the moment, if only to quiet his conscience. It's hard to argue with a dream coming true – and that's exactly what this is, Kendall holding Logan in his arms as they drift off to sleep.
A/N: A teeny plot-bunny I had after watching the finale, bawling, and wishing there was more Kogan in the world. Especially the canon kind where they act like a married couple. So this sprung up and I've been sitting on it since, trying to make it better. The jury's out on the quality because all mistakes are mine because I'm the sole beta reader, but I hope you liked it!