AN: Originally meant to be a oneshot, but there was just too much to write. Stick around for the "After" part, and keep your eyes peeled for my sequel to "The Edge of the Void." Thanks for reading and don't forget to leave a review! :)

Before

"You're holding it all wrong. Here, like this," Shepard was saying. The ridges above Garrus's eyes furrowed slightly as he tried to mimic her position. She found his intense concentration slightly hilarious, but she didn't dare laugh. She didn't want him to think that she was making fun of him. She had a feeling that, underneath that hardened C-Sec officer attitude, Garrus was a bit more sensitive than he'd like to admit to anyone. Least of all to his commander.

"Like this?" Garrus asked, leaning over and stretching out his arm for her to get a better look.

"Almost." Shepard intervened, pushing gently into the palm of Garrus's hand to try and get him to relax his grip a little. She applied pressure more forcefully when his digits remained incompliant. He sighed, his breath rushing out in a huff. "I don't blame you, Vakarian. Throwing darts is a lot harder with only three fingers." As she spoke, his muscles slowly became more relaxed, yielding to her touch like clay. She coaxed him into a relatively satisfying position.

It had been a slow few weeks. Well, anything would be slow after the excitement with Saren, taking down a Reaper, and saving the Citadel. For the time being, the Normandy had been reassigned to patrolling the area for geth, concentrating especially in places where ships had been known to go missing. Though, for the most part, there wasn't much to be found. Every now and then, they'd stumble on a geth ship, at which point Shepard would run up to the bridge and order everyone to their battle stations, though the only one who really did anything important was Joker. And once they'd won the fight, which they always did, everyone would go back to what they were doing before. Which was nothing. Shepard was tired of the monotony. Eager for something to do besides go over dry, inane reports from Alliance brass about things that mostly didn't concern her, Shepard had decided to head belowdecks to see what her crewmates were up to. To her delight, Garrus had just finished routine maintenance on the Mako. Rather, he stopped what he was doing and put it in neutral, jumping at the chance to get a little downtime.

Garrus took aim, careful not to let the slender dart slip out of his hand, at the same time trying to keep from clenching it in his fist. He took a deep breath, combining the techniques he used on the battlefield for lining up a shot with his sniper rifle with the tricks Shepard had just taught him for throwing darts. He wound back, concentrating his aim on the target they'd pinned to the side of the Mako. There were three darts already centered in the bullseye. All Shepard's. But Garrus planned on changing that.

Thunk. "Perfect!" Shepard exclaimed. Garrus's dart had landed right in the center of the triangle that her three darts had formed. She punched him on the shoulder. It felt like he'd been hit with a concussive round. "I take back what I said. Three fingers? Just as good as five."

Garrus rubbed his arm, shrugging modestly. "I have a good teacher."

"That," she said, pointing at the target, "is something that can't be taught." She strode over to the target, plucking the slim projectiles from where they were stuck.

"You're taking them down?" Garrus asked, his face falling. He'd worked hard for that one stupid dart.

Shepard shrugged. "Can't hit the bullseye again if there are too many darts in the way." True enough. You couldn't see the target if it was crowded with your own hits.

"Ha! He couldn't hit it again if it bit him on the nose." It was Wrex, sauntering over with his signature leer.

"Think you can do better?" In Shepard's outstretched hand were the four darts.

Wrex took them from her, nudging Garrus out of the way as he positioned himself in front of the target. "Easier than an asari hooker."

Several handfuls of darts later, the Mako had six new dings on its side and only two of Wrex's darts had even stuck onto the board. He'd refused to take any of Shepard's advice, stubbornly insisting on doing it his own way. Which consisted of levitating the dart biotically and throwing it haphazardly at the dart board, making soft thudding noises as his shots rebounded off the felt. Garrus wanted to point out that it was probably cheating, but he was betting that Wrex would have a lot easier time sticking one of those darts into his eye than the bullseye. "RAHHH!" Wrex roared, slinging three at once. Again, they were ineffective.

"Don't get yourself worked up, Wrex. You might have another heart attack," Shepard said, poking fun at his age. Garrus cringed. It was true that Wrex was getting on in his years, but insulting a krogan usually was not the best way to get him to calm down.

"Har, har, Shepard," Wrex said. Surprisingly, he didn't look like he was about to headbutt Shepard. In fact, he was even smiling a little. Though it did sort of make him appear as if he intended to take a bite out of her shoulder. "Anyway, I'm not a weak human like you. If one of my hearts fails, there's always the other."

"Back-up. Convenient." Shepard looked thoughtful for a moment, tapping a dart against her chin. Its tip was bent to the side. Wrex's doing. "It'd be nice to have a back-up version of myself. Like if I died, there would be another me to take my place."

"Or you could keep one of you on the ship, and send the other to fight. You'd accomplish twice as much in half the time," Garrus suggested.

"That's a dumb idea," Wrex shot out. He pumped his fist into the air, crushing a dart between his fingers. "Take both of yourselves into battle!"

"I don't know," Shepard said with a shrug. "That's a little impractical. I think having an extra life would be the smartest thing."

Wrex thumped his chest. "Two hearts. Can't beat 'em." He elbowed Garrus in the ribs, putting him off balance. Garrus glared at him. "Get it? Like a heartbeat? Ha!"

Shepard laughed, shaking her head as she did so. Krogan humor was usually not all that humorous, but she was a sucker for puns. Garrus also forced a half-hearted chuckle. He'd rather not find out what happens when you didn't laugh at one of Urdnot Wrex's jokes.

Garrus sneezed. Shepard was about to say "bless you" but before the words were out of her mouth, the Normandy shuddered tumultuously. Unprepared for the sudden movement, the three of them lost their balance, Wrex falling back as his arms pinwheeled. No one noticed, but the Mako, whose brakes were still disengaged from when Garrus was working on it, rolled forward slightly.

"What the hell?" Shepard said, the tremor fading. She reached down to pull Wrex back onto his feet. It took both her and Garrus to accomplish that feat. Shepard sighed. She took a break for ten minutes, and Joker had already decided to take the Normandy for a joyride. She decided to head up to the bridge to investigate.

"Commander!" Kaidan Alenko had just arrived via elevator. "We've encountered a hostile ship."

So that explained the shuddering. "Wrex, Vakarian: get to your stations. Kaidan, come with me." Time for some action.

But for some reason, Kaidan wasn't moving. Well, at least not towards the elevator. He stood close to Shepard, eyes dark with worry. "Shepard, it's not the geth."

"Who?" she demanded curtly. Garrus and Wrex watched her. She ceased being their friend and turned into their leader, their battlemaster. Any orders she gave, they'd follow in an instant.

But there was something in Kaidan's tone that made Garrus uneasy. "We don't know, ma'am."

Another shudder shook the ship, this one more fierce than the last. It knocked all four of them off their feet. They fell to the ground, and Shepard caught Alenko's knee in her hip, her shoulder blades landing at a painful angle. Kaidan began to apologize profusely, but she didn't have time to accept any of them. She jumped to her feet, hauling him up with her by his arm. Wrex and Garrus were likewise entangled, fervently trying to detach themselves from each other. Though she would have liked to, Shepard didn't have time to laugh at the pair of them. She grabbed Kaidan by the shoulders. "Get Tali," she ordered.

He nodded. Although he wasn't sure why, he didn't dare question her, especially not when she was in her intense commanding mode. He sprinted to engineering.

The floor seemed to vibrate beneath her feet, like the whole ship was shivering. Shepard stumbled towards the elevator. She had to get to the bridge to find out what the hell was going on, and more importantly, deal with the hostiles. But before she could set foot inside it, the Normandy surged violently. She grabbed onto the wall for support, pounding an intercom that connected to the bridge.

"Joker! Hold her steady!"

The pilot responded immediately. "Shepard, there's -"

But Shepard never got to find out what there was, because she had a much more pressing issue at hand. The Mako, set into motion by all the rocking back and forth, was rolling right towards Garrus and Wrex. "Move!" she yelled, running towards them.

Garrus looked up just in time to see the vehicle he'd so loyally maintained over the past few months bearing down on him. In the time it took to blink, he thought how ironic it would be if the damn thing ended up crushing him. So much for gratitude.

Shepard wasn't having any of that. Mustering up all the biotic energy she could in a few seconds time, she flung Wrex out of harm's way, sending him tumbling head over heels. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to amass a throw field big enough to do the same for Garrus, so she'd just have to do things the old fashioned way. Feet pounding, heart hammering, she raced the Mako on a collision course to get to Garrus first.

She reached him before the Mako did. She wrapped her arms around his torso, throwing her weight forward and using her momentum to swing him to the side as hard as she could. It did the trick: Garrus was flung out of the path of the rapidly accelerating Mako, skidding to safety. But she was not so lucky.

Garrus laid there for a moment, reflecting on his near brush with death. He was used to being in dangerous, life-threatening situations on a daily basis. That didn't really bother him too much. But being crushed by the Mako would've been a most unseemly demise. Thanks to Shepard, that would not be how he met his end.

Speaking of Shepard... the sound of the Mako crashing into the wall reached his ears, accompanied by an anguished cry. He bolted to his feet. The vehicle's nose had her pinned against the wall. It was pressing right into her ribcage.

"Commander!" Garrus yelled. The Normandy tipped forward, the Mako pushing into her harder. She cried out again. Gritting her teeth, she struggled to put up a biotic barrier. Her blue corona sputtered.

Garrus sprinted to the front of the Mako, fighting to keep his footing as the Normandy continued to tremble. "Hold on, Shepard," he said, gripping the front bumper. He braced his leg against the wall, then pushed with all his might. Shepard had managed to free her hands, and was pushing with him. But it was no use: the vehicle didn't budge, keeping Shepard pinned. Her face turned red with the effort of pushing, and lack of oxygen. She was starting to feel faint. Every breath was a battle.

Wrex roughly shoved Garrus out of the way, not bothering with a warning as he drew his arm back, glowing blue, and thrusted it towards the Mako. It seemed to roll back for a moment before returning to its previous position lodged in Shepard. She struggled, muscles straining. The Mako was pressing right on her lungs.

But back-up wasn't far off. Kaidan came out of engineering with Tali in tow.

"What's going on?" Tali asked, a note of panic seeping into her voice. Kaidan had grabbed her from engineering without much explanation, but the urgent tone he had used scared her into obliging. She' been in the middle of dealing with the sudden failure of the Normandy's stabilizers, when he ran in, telling her to drop everything and leave on Shepard's orders. She'd been reluctant to go. Getting the stabilizers back online was all of the engineers' priority, since the Normandy wouldn't stop shaking without them. But Kaidan didn't take no for an answer.

All of a sudden, Kaidan shouted, "Get back!" Garrus pulled Tali towards the elevator, but not before she looked over his shoulder. The Mako was right up against the wall, Shepard lodged between the two of them. She looked limp. Tali couldn't help it. She screamed.

"On my count!" Kaidan said to Wrex, who gave a single nod in response. He counted down, blue coronas swirling around the both of them. On three, they both unleashed powerful bursts of dark energy. The Mako bucked back, its rear bumper skidding along the ground. Shepard was free. She stumbled out of the corner, clutching her side. Wrex could feel his two hearts working over time. Sweat beaded on the back of Kaidan's neck, and the L2 biotic implant at the base of his skull was buzzing. They managed to hold the vehicle back just long enough for Shepard to clear the danger zone. The instant she was out, they released the Mako, and it went crashing back into its previous position.

Shepard's hands were on her knees. She was breathing hard. Kaidan put a hand on her back. "Are you alright?" he asked her.

She jerked up, straightening. "Fine." There was still a trace of a grimace on her face, but Kaidan couldn't see any blood, and there was only a slight dent in the front of her armor. Garrus released the breath he'd been holding. She was okay.

An shipwide alarm blared, and the red emergency lights flashed. Shepard's eyes were alight with their lambency. "The ship's being evacuated." She'd taken too long saving Garrus and Wrex from the Mako. If she'd just left both of them and gone into the elevator, she would have had time to get up to the bridge and deal with the situation. Sacrifice the two of them, save the rest.

But she had no way of knowing for sure that even if she did get up to the bridge in time, she would've been able to prevent whatever was going on. And if she was unable to deal with the attackers, then a lot of people were going to die anyway. Shepard didn't think that she could forgive herself for leaving Garrus and Wrex to die, not while she could do anything about it. They'd both given her too much, stuck by her side for too long for her to just abandon them.

Sure, it would've been nice if she hadn't gotten crushed by the Mako. But she couldn't dwell in the past. It was time for action.

"All of you, get into the elevator now." They did so without hesitation. Inside the elevator, it was a close fit, but none of them were willing to waste the time it took for two trips. Shepard's fists clenched and unclenched as the elevator crawled along its cables, excruciatingly slow. She didn't understand why the damn thing always took so long. It seemed like everywhere she went, elevators did their best to infuriate her with their snail-like pace. At least it gave her time to give them their orders. "Tali, Wrex: go to the nearest escape shuttles. Don't waste time. Garrus, make sure Liara gets out. Kaidan – get as many people as you can from the deck."

"Where will you be?" Kaidan asked. His voice was brimming with worry. He knew that, in times like these, captains held on to the idiotic notion that they were supposed to go down with their ships. Shepard wasn't the captain, though. She was the commander and therefore, exempt. Kaidan only hoped that she also saw it that way.

"The bridge. I need to send off a distress beacon and make sure as many people make it to the shuttles as possible," she said pragmatically. The doors finally slid open. "Now, get out of here!" Kaidan wanted to say something else to her, but she didn't spare a second in running out to do her duty. The others stood there for a second, stunned by the chaos that was occurring. People were running, screaming. There was a fire at the back of the med bay. Something exploded, and a pressure valve burst, whistling and spewing hot steam. The Normandy was shaking nonstop, the floor vibrating through their boots as they moved.

Another second passed and they regained their wits, springing into action. Wrex and Tali went left, following the other servicemen that were running towards the escape shuttles. Garrus went right, towards the flaming med bay where he prayed he'd find Liara. Kaidan stood in the elevator a moment longer, scanning, assessing. What kind of enemy were they facing that caused all this? The Normandy had survived a Reaper attack. She was the most advanced ship in the Traverse. It made his heart pound to think that there was someone out there who could somehow take them out, despite being the best ship ever built. No, not just "out there." They were being attacked right then, and it was too late to save the ship, the unsinkable vessel that had served Shepard without fail while they were hunting Saren and Sovereign.

And now, it was on the verge of being blown to pieces. Shepard only hoped that her ship held together long enough for the crew to escape. As for herself? She had more important things to worry about.

Tali lost her footing in the hallway during a particularly fierce tremor, falling to the ground. She cried out in pain when she twisted her ankle. Wrex was almost inside the shuttle when he heard her. He stopped. He could just leave the quarian, and save himself. It would be so easy to pretend he didn't notice she wasn't next to him, act surprised when she wasn't strapped in next to him on the shuttle. Lots of people were dying as the Normandy went up in flames. What would be one more? No one would blame him.

Except for himself, that was. The only reason Wrex was alive was because Shepard had thrown him out of the path of the Mako, risking her own life to save his. Wrex didn't usually accept favors or charity, but he hadn't asked Shepard to save him. She just did. He hated the nagging feeling of owing someone. And while he couldn't directly save Shepard's life, the best he could do was help the quarian. They wouldn't be exactly even, but it was better than nothing.

The shuttle was almost full. It was about to leave. Wrex moved out of its entrance, allowing a frantic human to take his place. The doors closed after the human, and the escape pod took off.

"Can you walk?" Wrex grunted. Tali's hands were at her ankle.

"I... maybe..." she whimpered, trying to get to her feet. She was taking too long. Wrex grabbed one of her skinny arms and hauled her up. He supported most of her weight effortlessly, enabling her to limp alongside him quickly. They made it to the next shuttle, nearly full of people. He eased her into her seat, strapping her in before he sat down next to her. As he dealt with his own safety restraints and the escape shuttle was ejected from the Normandy, Wrex silently hoped that Shepard made it out alive. He still owed her, and he couldn't repay his debt to a dead woman.

Garrus was surprised to find Liara calmly packing her things into a bag. Even though he could always count on her inexhaustible composure, even in the most dire of situations, he'd expected some kind of enervation.

"Liara, we have to get to the pods," Garrus said bluntly. She continued packing her bag, her movements fluid and deliberate.

"I know that," she said placidly. "It'll just be another moment." The Normandy heaved forward, a cabinet full of medical supplies swinging open, its contents spilling across the floor. Garrus lost his balance, his arm shooting out to use the wall for support. Liara kept her feet easily. She zipped her bag and turned to Garrus. "I'm ready."

That was good. For a moment, Garrus had considered throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her to the shuttle. But luckily for him, she kept pace when he ran out of the med bay and into the hallway. As he rounded the corner, a ceiling panel collapsed, rigid metal shrapnel lodging itself into the skull of a young woman. Garrus whirled around at the sound of a scream. Liara was staring at the body of the servicewoman, eyes wide. The girl was dead instantaneously. Liara kept staring. The girl had been standing right next to her. That dead body could have been her.

"We have to get out of here!" Garrus yelled. He grabbed Liara by the hand, leading her away from the body. There was nothing they could do for the girl.

They were halfway to the shuttles when Garrus saw Shepard exiting her office to the left of the mess hall. She was pulling something over her head and tucking it into the front of her armor, like a necklace of some sort. Garrus thought it was strange until he realized what it was. The silver necklace was actually the dog tag of Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, who was killed in action on Virmire. Out of all her possessions, Garrus knew that the dog tags were the most important to her, the only material item she would bother saving. But the dog tags didn't really belong to Shepard at all. She was saving them because they weren't hers to lose.

"Shepard!" he shouted. Her head snapped up. She was startled to see that the two of them were still there. They should've left on the shuttles already. "We have to leave, now!" Another minute, and the Normandy would be reduced to a flaming, useless hunk of metal. All aboard it would be no better off.

"Take Liara and get out of here," Shepard said, brushing by them. She had to get to the bridge.

Garrus seized her hand. "The ship's going down! You can't stop it," he said, hoping she'd see reason.

Shepard looked up into his clear blue eyes, bearing into her own. She wanted to thank him for staying by her side through everything, for watching her six without being asked to. She wanted to tell him that she would've never been able to stop Saren without him. In that moment, all she wanted was for Garrus Vakarian to know how much he meant to her.

But she didn't have time for that. "I know," she said resolutely. She had to do what she had to do. Shepard was nothing if not a soldier. Her duty defined her. She would not abandon it, especially not in her darkest hour.

"Promise me you'll make it to the shuttles," Garrus blurted out. He didn't want to leave her on the ship, but that wasn't his choice to make. Shepard would do what she must, and he could only pray for the best.

"I promise. Now go!" And they did. Garrus glanced over his shoulder. Shepard was watching them to make sure they left. The whole ship was quivering, things were exploding at random, everything was coming apart... yet there she stood. Her jaw was set, the fire of determination reflected in the radiance of her eyes. She tilted her head down slightly, nodding to him. He returned the gesture before continuing around the corner and into the shuttle with Liara.

With resigned acceptance, Shepard strode over to her armor locker just outside the med bay. She took out her gray N7 breather helmet with the big red stripe on top. She looked at her reflection in its visor, watched the chaos behind her in its pristine glass. The helmet had seen her through so many battles. It seemed fitting that she would be wearing it in the end.

She heard Kaidan behind her, his footsteps falling unevenly amidst the rocking of the ship. She turned to face him. "I have to launch the distress beacon," she informed him.

He tore his helmet off. "Will the Alliance get here in time?" But he already knew the answer to that question. There was no way that the Alliance would respond quickly enough to do anything besides pick up the pieces. The ship was about to fall apart. He didn't see the point in Shepard risking her life needlessly on a distress beacon.

She didn't answer the question. "You need to go, now." She was about to pull her helmet over her head when Kaidan grabbed her arm, preventing her from doing so.

"Don't waste your life, Shepard!" he shouted. Ceiling panels collapsed, pipes and wires spilling out. The elevator groaned. Its cables snapped, and it dropped to the bottom with a loud crash. Flames erupted from the gaping shaft.

She clamped her hand firmly on his shoulder. "It won't be a waste if you live," she said.

"You take the shuttle. I'll stay." He knew that whoever stayed would undoubtedly die. He'd take her place. The galaxy needed her more than it needed him.

"No, Alenko." The ground rumbled, threatening to knock them off their feet. "Go, before its too late." He was already taking too much time to get away.

So he didn't bother with saying goodbye. He just wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed her, the last kiss they'd ever share. She pushed him off after two seconds. She didn't say anything. He watched her slide her helmet over her head. He did the same. Before she turned and headed up to the bridge, she grabbed him by the neck and pressed her forehead against his, their helmets connecting. She held him for a moment, and when she released him, Kaidan saw that her eyes were shiny and wet. But there was also that single-minded conviction that made Kaidan realize that Commander Shepard was going to do what she thought she had to, no matter what. Even if it cost her life.

The inside of her helmet was filled with the sound of her own breathing. It was a comforting reminder that she was still alive, for the moment. As Shepard made her way through the decimated vacuum that used to be the Normandy's bridge, she could make out the outline of an alien ship, silhouetted against the surface of a nearby planet. It was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. She felt the same sort of horrified inquisitiveness that she'd felt back on Eden Prime, when she'd seen Sovereign for the first time. A desire to know, at the same time fearing the answer. But this ship wasn't a Reaper. The distress beacon she'd be sending out would have detailed footage of the ship. Hopefully, the Alliance or someone back on the Citadel would be able to find out what it was, and discover the truth behind the destruction of the Normandy.

For the moment, she just concerned herself with getting to the cockpit, where a seal had been established around Joker to keep him relatively safe. She pushed past the floating chairs, watching them spin off into infinity from the corner of her eye.

"Let's get you out of here, Joker," Shepard said upon entering the seal.

But his hands were still at the dashboard. "I can still save her! The Normandy isn't -"

"She's lost, Joker! And you will be too if you don't get your crippled ass onto the shuttle right now!" she yelled. The ship was firing some sort of beam at the Normandy, tearing apart the hull.

Joker's head snapped up at the sound of the weapon destroying the ship. His baby was being torn to bits. He cursed himself for not taking better care of her. After all, she'd taken care of him. Of the whole crew. Under Shepard's direction, he and the Normandy had been an unstoppable team. Not even a Reaper, the most ancient and powerful of threats yet to be seen in the history of all civilaztion, had been able to destroy the Normandy.

And now, he was losing her to some unknown enemy. Was it possible that there was something out there worse than the Reapers? Joker didn't know. That was Shepard's area of expertise. His area of expertise was being the pilot. At least, it was supposed to be. He had the best ship ever built at his fingertips, and yet somehow that wasn't enough. Or maybe it was him that was not adequate. Maybe he wasn't good enough for the Normandy. In which case, it was his fault that they were losing her. He should've been more careful...

Shepard didn't wait for him to respond. She hoisted him up by an arm, draping it over her shoulder. She dragged him over to the only escape pod on the bridge and shoved him to the nearest seat. When she didn't sit down herself, he shouted, "What are you doing?" He could see the Normandy coming apart behind her, lain to waste by the guns of their enemy.

Her expression was unreadable behind her helmet. "I have to send off the beacon."

Now it was his turn to beg her to leave. "It doesn't matter! We'll be toast in about three seconds here if we don't leave!"

Shepard stepped out of the shuttle. She activated the external release. Her last words to him were, "I know."

"Shepard!" he yelled, his breath warming the inside of his breather mask. He fumbled with his restraints, trying to undo them so he could lurch to his feet and grab Shepard before the doors closed, but it was too late. The doors slid shut, and through the narrow glass window, he saw her turn his back and lean over the cockpit controls.

It had been tempting to leave with Garrus and Liara. Even more so when Kaidan had asked her to go with him. Finally, as Joker screamed her name and she waited for the pod's door to close, she found that it would have been remarkably easy to just step forward. One step, and she'd be safe. She wouldn't have to leave her friends and loved ones behind. She'd endure, and live to fight another day as Commander Shepard, first human Spectre and savior of the Citadel.

But she'd stayed on the ship to send the beacon, compelled by something more powerful than the will to live. What it was exactly, she couldn't be sure. She did know that the likes of the enemy that they were facing had never been seen before. Besides the Reaper ship Sovereign, which had been destroyed, there was no power so wholly annihilative as the one she now stood alone against. She knew that, if anyone was ever faced with such a weapon again, they would be as unprepared as the Normandy was. She couldn't allow what had happened to her ship, and her crew, happen to anyone else. The best thing she could do was to stay on the Normandy and gather as much information as possible on the mysterious ship that had attacked without warning. Some of the data collected might end up being useful to the Alliance, giving them insight on how to prevent and retaliate against future attacks.

The Normandy was crumbling, breaking into bigger pieces which then broke down, too. In a matter of moments, there would be nothing left. With a deep breath, she hit the launch button for the distress beacon, which had turned from a cry for help into a documentary of the Normandy's last few moments, as well as her own. She watched the tiny vessel shoot off into the blackness, heading in the same directions as the escape pods. It seemed so small and insignificant against the looming infinity. What chance was there that it wouldn't be blown to bits, rendering Shepard's sacrifice useless? But the enemy ship didn't seem to notice, or care. Its only focus seemed to be the complete and total eradication of the final fragments of the Normandy. The beacon continued off into the darkness. There was hope after all. Not for Shepard, or the ship, but for the others.

She placed her hand on the bright orange display of the Normandy's controls, the lights blinking frantically as the ship lost basic systems. The cockpit was Joker's territory, but the ship belonged to her just as much as it did to him. It had seen her through countless battles, swooping down in the nick of time to pull her out of a volcano, dodging countless geth ships, destroying Sovereign. She'd lived on the ship, ate, slept, found love and friendship. After long, tiresome missions, she'd trudge back through the airlock, and everything was okay again. It was her home. And now, she and the Normandy would meet the end together. It was easier to face her demise with a brave face when she told herself she wasn't alone.

A concentrated beam of yellow energy bore into the cockpit, obliterating the helm. The force of the explosions knocked Shepard back, causing her to lose her grip on Joker's chair and tossing her out into empty space. The back of her helmet collided with a rigid piece of metal, formerly the door of the airlock. There was a hiss, and Shepard felt things go horribly wrong. Her oxygen supply was ruptured. She'd be dead in a matter of seconds. She told herself that she knew it was coming, that she knew that there was no way she'd make it out alive.

But that didn't make it any easier to accept. She reached back, groping for the tear in her suit. Her hands didn't touch it. The ship fired again, closer to Shepard than before. She was propelled through the emptiness, towards the nearby planet. She kicked her legs. She was running out of air, and it felt like drowning. The only difference was, there was no chance of reaching the surface, of drawing another breath. She tried, and choked. Once again, her ears were crowded with the sound of her own breathing. Except, this time, instead of reminding her that she was alive, the noise was like the Normandy's alarm, informing her that she was about to die. The planet loomed closer. Its gravity was pulling her in, but to Shepard, it felt like her soul was being pulled from her body. She was dying. Desperately, she gasped for air, fighting to achieve the impossible even though she knew it was hopeless. Just like she always did. Except for this would be the one battle that she really couldn't win.

Darkness closed in at the edges of her vision, from her swiftly approaching death or perhaps the suffocating emptiness of space rushing in to fill her helmet. Just when she was sure she'd reached the end, she stopped struggling. She remained still, and though her body was screaming and her lungs were utterly vacant, her mind was at peace. She accepted her death. And just before her life was collected, her gaze fell upon the beacon she'd sacrificed herself for. It was side by side with Joker's shuttle. Their tail lights blinked out. They'd gotten away safely. Mission accomplished.