WHY do I insist on doing this to myself? WHY?!
A/N- Okay... So I got a PM telling me to take away the lyrics due to copyright or I might have my account taken away... Brilliant... Just imagine or listen to the song?
Green rubbed his eyes as he tried to write in the dim light that his small desk lamp provided. It was two in the morning and freezing. Winter had been here for near a month and he could only imagine what it was like up there where she was. Green had tried to persuade her more times than he could count to come down, to come back, but she refused. 'I can't,' she would say. Green didn't get it. 'Why can't you?' He would ask. All she did was smile apologetically. It irritated him to no end. She wasn't safe up there, even with her pokémon.
All Green wanted was for her to be safe.
Green used to be so happy. After he and his childhood rival made up they still argued, but it was different. They always cared about each other, but this time they didn't feel the need to show it through knocking each other over the head. They could show it through talking calmly and doing kind things for one another. Sure, every time they meet they usually attempted to strangle one another, but again, it was different.
Green could see her whenever he wanted. They could have battles and talk and go get something to eat or whatever they felt like at the time. Anything was fine with him so long as she was there.
But she wasn't there. Not anymore.
'I'm going to train on Mt. Silver.' She said it as casually as if commenting on the weather during one of their outings. She said she didn't know when she would return. She said she didn't know if she would return. That was one of the few times Green had genuinely lost it. He tried to snap her out of it, begged her to change her mind, but she didn't listen. She never listened.
Years had passed and Green missed her more than ever. He could only visit her so much.
Green didn't know how much he drank nowadays. All he knew was that each time he stared into an empty mug he felt himself praying for things to work out. He thought that perhaps he stay with her, but she would never allow that. She would tell him to stop neglecting his duties as a Gym Leader. But what about her? Wasn't she doing exactly that by leaving everything behind? She was the Champion of Johto and Kanto, and there she was at the top of some icy hell, shutting out the world. Shutting out him.
Green wished he could go back in time and find some way to make her stay. He wanted to return to when they were kids and just started on their journeys. Those days took forever to get to and then went by far too quickly. One moment she was beside him and he felt like he could face the world if he had to, the next she was gone.
He took another drink.
Every night Green dreamed of raven-black hair and ruby-red eyes and pale skin. His thoughts always seemed to find a way to revolve around her existence. In his mind's eye she was always so perfect, a gentle smile on her pink lips. Perhaps it was because of her eyes, but one day Green found that red was his favorite color. Red... To some people red was just a color, but to Green it wasn't.
Red would never just be a color to him.
Green stared up at the sky as the last few lights from the buildings in Viridian City went out and sighed, fog forming due to the cold air. A desire to see her almost overwhelming. Usually, Green could go over to see his friend everyday and they would mess around until evening. But not now. Now, the only time Green could see her was when he went to go see her, and even when he managed to do that, which was very rare, he never made it there during daylight hours. It was always dark and by the time he made it to her she was just coming back from training and about to collapse from exhaustion. A part of him wanted to be selfish and trap her in conversation so he could spend time with her, but the other part saw the bags under her eyes, the yawning and wistful glances to her sleeping bag so he caved.
But it was alright, Green supposed. At least he could see her and make sure she was still alive even though it was few and far between when he could pull away from everything and go to her.
She was a woman of few words, anyway.
Green laid on his bed, feeling miserable. He felt like there was a hole in his chest, a hole that only one person could fill. The one person he could only see a few times a year. Green wanted to get on his Pidgeot and fly there, pull her into his arms and tell her how he felt. Perhaps then she would come back with him. They could be together forever if she wanted.
Green would take care of her until the day he died.
There was this nightmare that Green kept having. A dreaded scenario that plagued his mind every chance it got, causing him to fear sleep.
She was there, perfect as always, but she was cold. She was lying in a bed of snow, her trademark hat blown away and her raven hair spread out in contrast to the white that surrounded her. Green tried multiple times to call out to her, but she never answered. He tried to run to her. To touch her. To make sure she was okay. But he couldn't.
And just as quickly as the nightmare came, it disappeared.
Green tossed away his flashlight when he couldn't get it to work anymore. Pulling his jacket up to his mouth, he continued to climb towards the top of Mt. Silver.
There was a snow storm like no other tonight, and Green had to get to her. He had to make sure she was fine. Had to reassure himself that it was okay to fall asleep again.
When he made it to the cave she used as her shelter, he found it empty save for her's and her pokémon's things. What was she doing training at this hour?
Green had turned to exit the cave to look for her when he heard the familiar sound of a pikachu. And sure enough, her best friend and faithful pokémon Pikachu stood in the mouth of the cave. For a moment, Green felt himself relax and the tension in his shoulders gave slightly. That is until he saw the look on Pikachu's normally cheerful face. When asked where his trainer was, Pikachu turned and led Green back into the storm.
Pikachu led Green to a wide open space on the mountain. It ran to the middle and Green followed without question. What he saw when he reached the yellow mouse pokémon was something he would never forget.
Black. White. Red...
Sometimes... Just sometimes... Nightmares do come true.
Green watched silently as the coffin was laid into the ground, Pikachu and Eevee at his feet. The priest said words, but he didn't hear him. Green said words himself, but he didn't hear them, either.
He didn't even hear himself break down or when his grandfather said words of comfort as he stood Green up and took him away.
Green didn't understand that you never truly realize how much someone means to you until they were no longer with you.
When you somehow left everything unsaid.
When you let them go.