Forewords: I already had this idea molded in my head but due to its indisputable similarities with other stories (so much so I'm no longer sure myself which parts were of my original idea and which might've been inspired by these stories) and to avoid any possible conflict I feel compelled to state this story is based on elements found both in 'Hope' (by: Donskoi AO3) and 'Lament' (by: Mara Beth ). Since fanfiction doesn't allow links posted directly in the stories, feel free to ask them via pm.
He was tired. Drained. Everything he'd ever worked for, everything he'd ever given up for him, for the cause, for their future… Now, gone. But, he was the Prime. His quest had must been completed. Settling for anything less would have been unheard of for him. But for one brief moment he'd allowed himself to hope, to believe they would have had a future together. That in the end; all their sacrifices would have been repaid, and they could have spent the rest of their lives together, rebuilding Cybertron. He had allowed himself to… love, that love having eventually blossomed into something he'd been waiting to happen for eons.
And now he was gone, taking everything that mattered with him.
Later, the way Ratchet had stepped in through the ground bridge back at their former base was a pretty good hint for the humans on what had happened. It was June and Raf that finally approached him about it, making the desponded bot spill the beans. He didn't need to say much.
"Optimus is gone."
He conveniently left some of the details untold. There was no need to upset the poor creatures even further. They wouldn't have understood in any case.
Originally, perhaps it had been intuition, but just in case, he had decided it was wiser to stay on Earth where it was safe, while the others returned to Cybertron. The medic's happiness had known no bounds when he'd finally discovered it, but he'd never gotten the chance to tell him. And now, it was too late.
Even energon tasted foul. Had it not been his frame demanding each drop Ratchet wouldn't have consumed any, and even then it left him dizzy. There was no reason to – not anymore. His frame was no longer of no use for anybody, not even for himself. If it came to that, he'd have preferred death.
Wandering aimlessly across the hallways after another restless night and having difficulty staying up during the day spoke volumes of his mental condition. Long gone were also the endless shouting of obscenities, and even rarer became the sightings of wrenches flying by, decorating the walls of the hall with yet another dent of appropriately relieved frustration. Seeing him like that broke poor June's heart, but she – like everyone else – had no idea of the true depth the medic's sorrow lay.
It took a lot of convincing from Ratchet and arranging from William Fowler and herself, but she saw it was for the best: it was high time a proper memorial was held for the Prime on Earth. Perhaps then Ratchet could finally start processing his grief and begin healing. The Autobots were called in to arrive in a week, where the date had been set.
June was worried for him, Ratchet knew this much. And despite he didn't like her pestering him about it as he simply no longer cared; he finally caved and scanned himself only to prove her he was "fine". He knew very well what was wrong with him and didn't need to reaffirm it, but if she'd finally leave him alone it was worth the inconvenience. Denying fact wasn't going to be of any use for him and she wouldn't understand anything of the results anyway. What he ended up finding though left him astounded and speechless.
The memorial was held in the same military base that had been the Autobots' temporary refuge after the loss of their first one. It had been a beautiful, intimate occasion. Each of them held a small speech in the honor of their passed Prime, but none of it could have prepared anyone, especially the humans, to when it came Ratchet's turn.
Knowing all attention was on him; he stepped forward and rested an arm on the railing, lifting his gaze from the floor on the crowd only occasionally.
"Optimus… Out of you all, I've known… I knew him the longest. He was not only among undoubtedly the greatest of our Primes; his wisdom, loyalty, genuineness and passion far surpassed any level he would have achieved only through the Matrix alone. But he was also a great friend." he held a small pause.
"We can all learn a lot from him. By carrying out his example, and by honoring and treasuring each memory he keeps living through all of us. So, in the end, he is never truly gone but we keep a piece of him alive in our sparks… And in my case, it is quite literally." his choice of words aroused a brief stir in the group surrounding him.
He shifted from looking at the curiously astonished gazes on his comrades to the confused stares on the humans, sighed, and continued:
"I don't know how many of you knew about the… 'special' arrangement of Optimus' and mine relationship. I may have to remind you that while Cybertronians and humans are similar in many ways, we also have our differences. Things that are the norm for us aren't necessarily so for you, from many aspects." he carried on and sighed.
"Optimus… held a very special place in my spark. We kept mostly to ourselves in public, but in truth we were… close. 'Very' close. Only if we had been twins could we ever have been any closer." he ended, closing his optics as small beads of lubricant appeared on their sides. Depending on who it was the attendants' expressions began turning into that of sudden realization, bewilderment, or into knowing smiles.
Out of all the humans, June's eyes brightened as understanding flew through them.
"So, you're saying, that…?"
"We were… lovers. Mates. Both in body and in spark." he finished in affirmation of pretty much everyone's suspicions, lifting his palm on his chest.
The humans' eyes widened at the confession. Some of the bots turned to one another, some quietly asking if they knew about this, and others nodding in admission.
"Because of the war going on, we'd been putting off the natural development of our relationship. There simply wasn't time for such matters. But as things progressed as they did, with him almost perishing through the hands of the Decepticons beneath our former base helped to… change his mind." he stopped, and swallowed heavily.
"So, by your terms, we married. Bonded. Now that I look at it, it was as if he'd anticipated this happening. After all, it wouldn't be like Optimus to leave without a parting gift. He made sure that since he couldn't spend the rest of our lives with me, I had something of him with to go by for the rest of mine." he finished closing his optics when a shy hint of a smile began spreading on his features, his hand not moving from the surface of his chest for even a second.
Arcee was the first one to catch on the hidden meaning.
"Ratchet…" she asked; her mouth agape. "Are you saying that you are…?"
A faint blush began spreading on the medic's faceplate as he shifted his gaze shyly across the floor on his right side, his smile spreading even wider. This caused many of the bots to suddenly stiff in astonishment and anticipation as the suspicion on what was going on sneaked in, making the humans only a tad bit more confused.
Finally, opening his optics, Ratchet spoke:
"I am in manufacture." he finally admitted, beaming, slight embarrassment over admitting it apparent in his demeanor.
The reaction the news set off was immediate, even if clouded by disbelief. Bots began to offer him their congratulations; and Arcee had to confirm June it really meant what it sounded like; Ratchet was indeed expecting young. It wasn't until someone asked why he hadn't told them earlier that the medic spoke again.
"I… When I felt the bond breaking, it left me… overwhelmed, to say the least. The pain grew so immense I could no longer feel the little one. I thought I'd lost him, too." It was a painful statement, as much was obvious.
"Him?" Miko perked up. "It is a boy?"
"A mechling. Yes." Ratchet smiled, receiving a round of excited applauds from the crowd.
The memorial of their Prime soon exchanged briefly into a Q&A session for the confused humans but eventually evolved into a celebration of an occasion that had not occurred on Cybertron in millennia; the promise of new life.
The gestation took over an Earth year, but finally, it was time. Ratchet gave birth to a healthy, strong tricolored mechling that bore a striking resemblance to both of his progenitors. His armor was made of red, yellow and orange; and Ratchet called him 'Rodimus' which literally translated to "legacy" from his native dialect. Being a living memory of their Prime; who not only was his namesake, but also the first born of the new generation of Cybertronians, it was only appropriate. And Ratchet, despite having to live the rest of his time without his beloved sparkmate, found his existence renewed with purpose. In those circumstances, it was the happiest he could've been.
A/N thank you for reading! Please let me know how you liked it!