A Real Ideal World
Disclaimers: I do not own Death Note no matter how much I wish I did.
Author's Note: This is a little one shot I came up with because I didn't like the fact that "L" had to die(Sorry if I just ruined it for ya!), so I decided to write a fanfic where he doesn't. Read and review!!!
In today's news a girl was pushed off of the edge of a building by a man known as Shuyu Shinji. The young woman was a widow by the name of Yuei Tarada and was the love interest of Shinji. The reason at this point is quite unclear, but the Police Force is guessing that the girl gave him the slip. We now have Shuyu in custody.
On a brighter note, the serial killer known as "Kira" is wiping away minor criminals. The proper authorities are still unaware of his true identity.
"I'm bored. I've had it with all of this bullshit."
"Which one is it? The deal with the girl, or the fact that no one sees you as their savior?"
"Cut it with the jokes Ryuk. I'm still quite positive that I'm doing society a favor by getting rid of all these people. I'm helping them by creating a real ideal world where criminals are completely eliminated."
Ryuk was floating above Light as he was researching for a big project for school on his computer. At the same time Light was also watching the evening news.
"You do know that "L" will eventually find out who is the real Kira right?"
"When, and if, that happens Misa and I will be prepared."
I hope that day never comes. But I wonder how long I can keep Ryuzaki as a friend.
"Hey Light?"
"What is it Ryuk?"
"Do you have any more apples? I seem to have ran out."
"That's because you ate them all. Now my mother has to go out and buy some more."
Thanks a lot. Didn't even leave me any.
Ding Dong!
"That's probably Misa. Don't let anyone in my room."
"What do you want me to do? Throw apples at their heads? Oh, wait. There aren't any more damn apples!"
"It's not my damn fault they're gone!"
"You keep talking to me that way and I'll write your name in my Death Note way before your due date pal."
"Whatever. Just watch the place."
Light ran downstairs and opened the door, and sure enough his blonde-haired girlfriend with her shinagami named Rem were there.
"Hello Light." Misa closed her eyes and kissed Light gently on the lips.
"Well just don't stand there. Come up to my room."
"As you wish."
The couple went up to the room and locked the door behind them.
"Tomorrow's the day. Tomorrow we kill "L"."
"What are you talking about? I thought we agreed not to touch him?"
"Light, Light, Light. Baby. He knows way too much about Kira. You told me yourself that he's been told about the existence of shinagami and the Death Notes they carry around. If he doesn't die now it won't take long for him to put two and two together. If that happens we'll end up in jail."
Misa sat down on Light's bed and crossed her legs.
"Ah, well. I guess you have a point. I'm also guessing you have a plan?"
"As a matter of fact I do." She gave a sly grin. A grin that can only be described as the face of a cat that finally caught that damn canary.
"But you'll have to work for it." She lifted up her shirt and took it off.
"What are you doing?"
"What? Never saw the plain flesh of a woman's breasts before?"
"No."
"Well then there's a first time for everything."
She slowly unsnapped her bra and tossed it on the floor.
"I know I said would do anything for you, no questions asked out of gratitude for what you did for me, but I would like you to do one thing for me." Next to go was her skirt followed by her panties. Ryuk had to stare out the window in order to keep from laughing at the sight before him.
"I guess I can do you one small favor. What is it?"
"Isn't it obvious Light? With a pretty girl naked in your bedroom?"
"Quiet Ryuk."
"Ryuk? Is that the name of your shinagami?" "Yes."
"Well then he's on the right track. I want you to get naked and fuck me down to my core. Is that blunt enough for you?"
"Misa...I..."
"I know I promised you that I would make you love me, but how can I do that if you won't give me the chance?"
"I guess I can...just this once..." Five seconds later Light was on top of Misa. First nice and slow, then he went at it like a bitch in heat. Too bad there wasn't enough room at the window for two shinagami.
Meanwhile At Police HQ
"Where the fuck is Light?"
"I gave him the day off the investigation to be with his girlfriend." "L" a.k.a. Ryuzaki was sitting on the sofa with his knees close to his face and his feet up like he always does.
"And in speaking of the investigation gentlemen, I believe we are still getting no where. Sometimes the answer is right in front of me, so close that I can feel it, but there are still some things that I don't understand. Like for instance, why is it that the first Kira needs a face and a name in order to kill, but the second Kira doesn't? I just don't get it."
"What about the shinagami and Death Note theory Sir?" "L" put his thumb to his mouth and pushed up on his lip. Once again, like always.
"If that theory is correct then only one of the Kiras is using a Death Note, which means…"
"Only one is the real deal?"
"Precisely."
"I know this is an obvious question, but are you still suspecting Light?"
"I told you before that my suspicions are still on Light, but I can't take him to court without physical evidence. Damn. Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings."
The next day at Police HQ
"Well this is it. Everything is set and ready to go. I told Shindo to shut off and delete all of the data from the mainframe computer, as well as all of the minor equipment as well. Oh, what's this?"
"Master Ryuzaki don't drink that tea!"
"Why not?"
"Because it's got…"
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! IT BURNS!!!!!!!!!"
"Sour lemon in it Sir." "L" fell back out of his chair head first with a loud BANG! He got back up again and sat back up in his seat. To everyone's surprise he kept drinking it.
"It burns."
"Boss? May I…"
"It burns."
"Hello? I need to…"
"It burns."
"Why the fuck do you keep drinking that?"
"It burnnnnnnnssssss."
"Ah, nevermind Sir."
Hello everyone."
"Oh, hey Light."
"Why is Ryuzaki saying it burns repeatedly?"
Don't ask. Anyways it's time to do this."
Flash to Light
"This is it."
Flash to Ryuzaki
"This is it." massive sweatdrop.
Flash to Misa
"This is it."
Flash back to the Police HQ
"Holy shit!"
"What?"
"That's what." For five whole seconds the monitors flashed on and off, then the words NO AVAILABLE DATA flashed on all of the monitor screens. Light looked completely confused, but still acted natural. There was still some things about this little plan that Misa didn't tell him. "It's a surprise.", she said.
Then for what seemed to be no apparent reason, "L" dropped out of his seat. And this time when he fell it had nothing to do with lemon tea. He was as dead as a doornail. Light was at his side in an instant.
"Ryuzaki? Ryuzaki? Are you okay?"
"No you super fucking idiot. I'm not okay. I'm dead."
"Huh?"
"SHHLLAAAMMM!!!!! BAAAAAMMM!!!!! YOU JUST GOT PUN'KD!!!!!"
"What the fuck? Ashton Kutcher?"
"Yeah! Awsome! We totally just Pun'kd Light! Oh yeah! That was great! Yeah baby!!!! C'mon! Say it."
"No fucking way."
"Sayyyyy it."
"Fine. I just got Pun'kd."
"HELL YE..." -BANG- "That's not cool." cough-drop dead
"Damn that was annoying." "L" reloaded his M-16 with a loud clink just in case Ashton wasn't dead. All eyes were on him in complete bewilderment.
"What?"
THE END And that was Death Note with a twist!
See ya!!!!