Title: "Homeward Bound".
Author: Nemesi.
Fandom: DBZ.
Genre: Romance. Humor.
Word Count: 2590.
Characters/Pairing: Trunks→Goten.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: DBZ, its characters, places and themes belong to Akira Toriyama, Bird Studio, Shueisha, FUNimation, etc.. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warnings: Shounen-ai. Sex's mentioned (We all know Trunks is a pervert whenever Goten is concerned, anyway XD). One or two swearing words are said/thought by our heroes. A tad of OOC-ness, perhaps?
A/N: Our boys' upbringing couldn't have been any more different. Sure they're both princes, but while Trunks is filthy rich, Goten-chan lives in a small capsule-house amidst the mountains, away from civilization. I think their behaviour should reflects at least to an extent their nurturing, and so I've tried to make them talk in diametrically different ways. Trunks is formal, convolute… Goten-chan uses slang. XD;; I don't think they talk in this way in neither the anime or the manga, but I like to experiment. v
It's also interesting to notice how naïve and innocent the slang-user is, while "Mr. Formal" Trunks is the more lustful of the pair. :P
Summary: A confession gone disastrously wrong. Kinda.
Chibi it translates roughly into "Little One"
We are at an impasse.
Two boys, sitting one opposite the other in a confined, if familiar space; from the outside, our poses, our demeanour, may misguide people into thinking we are enemies, rather than lifelong friends.
We are both tense, muscles taut, breath short. Chances are that I look irritated at the moment, if not downright menacing. How can I know that, you ask? Truth is, the mechanicals inside my brain always lead me to wear a mask of intense anger whenever I feel cornered, or nervous. And nervous I feel.
An hereditary trait determined by my genetic code to begin with, my nurture only helped to strengthen this peculiar defence-mechanism of mine. As a result, since I was a toddler I have resorted to display livid, cruel-looking expressions as often as I could, which contributed to isolate me from society further than you can imagine.
Taking that into account, and considering also how terribly anxious I am feeling at the moment, the only plausible conclusion is that I must look absolutely feral.
Goten, on the other hand, appears to be… A… Astonished. Baffled. C… C… C is not an easy one. He is… Chary, maybe? Dazed for sure. Dumbfounded, as well. E…I cannot think of any synonym for "shock" that begins with "E", therefore I will just omit it. F. F is for Flabbergasted. G, Gobsmacked. I seem to recall it being a colloquial expression of some kind. In any case, it surely does justice to the look on his face.
To be honest, I harboured no illusions about his reaction. I have spent days envisioning this moment, first weighing up every possible development, and then ruling out the hundred or so which were too optimistic, thus bracing myself for the worst. However, not once did I take into account a complete lack of reaction on his part. This prolonged silence, this immobility of his, is putting me on edge.
You see, he is fond of extremes, my Goten. When introduced to a concept, he will either show immediate enthusiasm and commitment, or shun it in complete disdain. He is also extremely verbal. It is not normal for him to be so irresponsive.
…then again, supplying an alphabetically ordered list of adjectives for his current emotional state can hardly fall into the category of "normal behaviour".
I can almost hear you now, asking yourselves: 'just what kind of lunatic is this boy?'
A scared senseless, completely besotted, half-alien Prince, that is what kind.
Goten shifts uneasily, offers me a blink and a muttered "Uh…", before clamming up again.
I sigh.
"Close your mouth Chibi, before you swallow a fly."
He obeys instantly. I can see the muscles of his throat work silently as he swallows.
"…could you… run that… by me… again?"
Slanting a sideways look at him, I say as coolly as I know how: "I have been harbouring a certain attraction towards you for quite some time, and was wondering if it would be acceptable for me to court you."
There is a short pause before Goten rouses himself from his stupor.
"Hold everything — you like me?!?"
I blink.
"I believe that is what I said, yes."
Stung, Goten looks away, pouting like a child whose candy has been stolen. I have the sense to squelch the thought before it escalates into something else altogether – but he really looks adorable at the moment, perched up on my – my, ladies and gentlemen, my, MY bed like a ruffled kitten, knees brought up to his chin and a splash of pink across his cheeks.
For some moments, he amuses himself with picking at the hem of his shirt. His eyes dart from his knees to my face a couple of times. He sighs; a small, inaudible thing.
"Why would you like me?" is what he says at last, a note of insecurity colouring his voice. I do not know what hurts me the most – that he would doubt my words, or that he may not realize just how precious he is, how special.
"I… well, aesthetically speaking, you are incredibly attractive, Goten. Powerful built, pale skin, pretty face, expressive eyes… Besides, you are a very positive person, always supportive and fun. A strong fighter, with a noble soul. What is there not to like? Everyone could testify that you are beautiful, inside and out."
"That ain't what I asked."
I raise an eyebrow in enquiry.
"Is that why you're attracted to me? Not this supposed everyone, but does my friend, Trunks Vegeta Briefs, think I'm beautiful, and desirable, and all that?"
Need he ask?
"I do, Goten," I say earnestly. "I have spent most of my life admiring you. You are the part that completes me, the light to my dark, the cheer to my broodiness. I have known I cared deeply for you long before physical attraction came into the equation."
He nods, tugging his bottom lip in, brows drawing slightly together.
"It figures that one'd like his best mate – duh, you would've dumped me a friggin' long ago if you did not like me. But now you… uhm… err…you…?"
He looks like he were seven-year old all over again, shy and hesitant and as red as a cherry. I nod encouragingly at him.
"You… want me?" he asks, and I cringe.
And no, I am not blushing, thankyouverymuch. I will have you know that Saiyajin Princes do not blush. Father will tell you so at any time. And he may have been a destroyer of planets, but he is much too honourable a man to ever lie.
"Well…"
"Well?"
"I cannot deny that you…"
"…I?"
Why is it so difficult to say? Yes Goten, I want you. I need — no, love you. That boundless, precious, I-would-give-my-life-for-you-my-one-and-only-and-it-is-my-wish-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-worshipping-every-inch-of-your-delicious-body sentiment found only in epic novels.
"…you…"
"I?"
"…you… arouse me."
His lashes flutter as he blinks rapidly, the way he does when he is highly confused – or scared. In fact, he is leaning away from me, shoulders inching protectively up.
For probably the first time in my life, I readily admit to being afraid. Terror seizes me, as I realise I might lose him, and lose him for good. An odd, icy feeling is squeezing my heart, my temples are pulsing and my palms are getting moist with sweat. I doubt I have ever felt this vulnerable, before.
"Chibi! I-I…" Why has breathing become painful? "I am not going to pressure you into anything. Anything. I just needed you to know. It has been like this ever since we first fused… when we became one… when we were Gotenks. Do you remember how it felt? It was so right, like we were always meant to be one." — I'm babbling — "Defusing was painful, so painful. Wasn't it for you? It ripped off a part of me; but it also put a fragment of you inside me, in turn. I could sense your presence, like a light in the back of my mind. It was comforting." — Worse than babbling — "It was saving. And then I noticed that if I concentrated hard enough, I could hear your voice, your laugh." — I'm panicking — "I used to curl up and reach out for you in the dead of night, for your warmth, your voice. I wanted you with me always, I needed you, and even then I knew that I… I…"
"…loved me?" Goten surprises me by grinning shyly. His voice is soft, but oddly firm and heartfelt. I nod, unwilling to look away now that he has finally met my eyes. My heart-rate seems to have regained some semblance of normality.
"I have always loved you, Chibi, and you have always known it, haven't you? Nothing is going to change what we have. But you must understand that I am also in love with you, now. I have been for a long time... even if it took me a while to admit it."
This time it is a full-fledged laugh that escapes his mouth, a delighted and delightful sound. He uncurls a little, leaning a fraction towards me.
"A while? Trunks! You were – what? – eight when we first fused?"
His eyes sparkling with mirth. His flushed cheeks. The lashes fanning his cheeks. His lips, pink and sensuous, stretched open in a wide, generous smile. How I love him.
"Barely, yes."
"And it took ya so long t'say it because…?"
"Because it took puberty to open my eyes." I am suddenly back in control. Of myself. Of the situation. Of our relationship? I was ever the leader, and he the follower, at least from the outside. No one knows I needed his approval, his guidance and support twice as much as he needed mine.
I grin wolfishly, lick my lips. "Puberty and wet dreams," I specify.
Goten blushes, cute enough to eat. His eyes widen a fraction.
"You don't mean…"
"Oh, I do."
"…fuck…"
"Precisely what we did. Every night."
"Trunks!"
"We were such adventurous little things, too."
"Trunks!"
"I can still recall a couple of experiments we made, that I would not be averse to try for rea--" I get a pillow in the face for that. If pressured, I might admit I deserved it. It was not that much of a blow anyway, not even to my pride. Plus, it has brought Goten considerably closer. He has crawled towards my end of the bed on all fours, face still a delicious shade of pink.
"Shut. Up."
"Yessir."
I sober suddenly, and reach to catch his hand in mine. He tenses, briefly, and glances down at our entwined fingers. When I am sure he is not going to bolt or recoil, I bring his hand to my lips and place a kiss on the open palm.
"Chibi… I meant what I said earlier. You are everything to me, and I have no intention to push you into something you do not want, or are not ready for. The only thing I ask is that you think about it, decide if we might have a future together."
He could hurt me at any time now, just as I have hurt many whenever my egotism has spiked. But he is Goten, and I am Trunks, and there is no such thing as pain in our relationship. No hurt. I trust him. And he trusts me.
He crawls the remaining inches towards me, lets his head sink upon my shoulder. His breath is hot and gentle against my neck as he speaks.
"I want to always be with you, Trunks."
"As we promised. Nothing will ever come in-between us. Not even my feelings. Listen," I tilt his chin up, meet his smoky, trusting eyes. "I swear to never again mention this conversation. Now we both know how I feel, and it is enough for me. If you will ever decide it is worth to pursue a romantic relationship with me, then we will talk of this again. Deal?"
He pushes his face closer still, forehead furrowed in thought. His fingers tighten around mine.
"You don't wanna hurt me," he says, matter-of-factly. "But I don't wanna hurt you either."
"Chibi… being with me out of pity, or of a misplaced sense of friendship will undoubtedly hurt me."
"And buryin' the whole thing won't?" he licks his lips. A nervous gesture, I am sure, but he cannot begin to understand the effect it has on me. I shiver, and it somehow travels from my body to his, pushing us closer, flush against each other, legs entwined, palm to palm, our breaths mingling, speeding up and up.
"Trunks… I don't wanna hurt you – and that's why I hafta be honest. I've gotta say it, and I'm gonna do it now. I've… I've never thought about dating boys before," he admits, looking deep into my eyes. I withhold nothing. The understanding. The sadness. The anger and disappointment. The love.
"Understandable."
"I don't swing that way."
"I know."
"But…" His arm encircle my neck, and slowly, so slowly, he stretches to press a kiss to my mouth, tender and brief and heartbreakingly sweet in its execution. He exhales lowly when he pulls away, his breath pushing against my lips. "…I'd like to go out with you."
"Chibi…"
"It's not because you're male, or despite it. You're Trunks, and that's it. I'm not that good with words, but you already said it all, anyway. You're everything to me. And if you say you've got a piece of me within, then you oughta know it's the same for me. I feel you. I need you. I love you. Always have and always will. And I think… I think that, given the chance, I might fall in love with you, too. If I haven't, already."
His voice is soft, but it holds no uncertainty, nothing of that madcap delight which is trademark to him. That is how I know he is telling the truth.
…the erratic flutter of his heart I detect as I grasp him tighter is another dead giveaway.
"Goten… what are you saying?"
"I'm sayin' that I want that chance. If you'll give it to me?"
I can feel the happiness bubbling up my chest, seeping into my words. "So… you are the one who is doing the courting, now?"
As Goten shrugs, some of his usual playfulness shows through the shy but earnest look on his face. His grin turns teasing and a touch evil, and oh-so-kissable.
"Dunno. What would you say if I asked you out?"
"I would enquire whether or not you are free this Saturday, and can I pick you up at six for dinner and a movie and maybe lure you into spending the rest of the night stargazing up at The Lookout?"
He arches an eyebrow at me.
"I guess. As long as you keep your greedy paws to yourself…" he chides in a sing-song voice.
"Goten, Goten, Goten. I have been able to resist your charms for all these years, it should not prove difficult to wait until after the marriage to defile you."
Goten's eyes turn wide again, and lo! The delicious blush is back full-force on his face.
"Marry—Defile—Trun-UMPH?"
And I just kiss him, suddenly and deeply and so unlike the kiss we have shared before, so wet and wild, and for once in my life I am glad that I listened to my sister's advice.
Goten is frozen for a moment in shock, and then he is kissing me back, tongue hot and slick against mine, his hands in my hair, on my skin, my face, my neck, and then I am pushing him back on the bed, pulling him to me, skin to skin, mouth to mouth, and truly, I was so scared of upsetting the status quo between us, it is humbling to discover how perfectly natural this feels.
If I ever thought our passion would be something different and separate from our friendship, then I was wrong. These are the same feelings that have always been between us, the warmth, the trust, the affection, the need, the spark of fire and the lulling security, magnified by something that I want and not want to call lust. Together, we are taking a step that was not unavoidable, not preordained, but still remains the natural evolution of what we have between us, what we have always had.
I kiss him. I touch him. I tease and laugh with him, getting teased and kissed and mock-hit by him in turn.
It feels surprisingly like coming home.
- Fin