Author's Note: It's been a while — a year and a half. Difficult to believe, but it's true. It seems that I come back to writing FF as a reward when I've finished something else. Since the second book in my thriller series came out exactly one week ago(!), here I am again.

The usual setup; vaguely season 4 or so, before 47 Seconds.


He was surprised when she knocked on his door.

They had finished dinner only half an hour earlier, and the dishwasher was quietly burbling away in one corner of the kitchen area. Martha sat in an armchair, leafing through a glossy magazine, and Alexis was curled at the opposite end of the sofa from Castle, engrossed in her phone.

The younger redhead looked up when they all heard the sound, but Castle smiled and indicated that she should stay where she was. He stood up and quickly crossed to the entranceway, for once looking through the peephole before reaching for the handle.

"Another case already?" he asked, as he opened the door to reveal Beckett standing there, but the woman shook her head.

"Nope," she replied, and then she gave a slight shrug. "And there was nothing good on TV, so I thought I'd just stop by."

Castle raised a skeptical eyebrow, but ushered her inside nonetheless. He took her coat and hung it in the nearby closet, seeing that she'd set down her oversized handbag on a side table by the door.

"You never just stop by," he said pointedly, "though you're always welcome to, of course. I'm suspicious."

Alexis and Martha both waved to Beckett, and she returned the gesture before turning to give Castle a look of exaggerated innocence. "You think I have an ulterior motive, Castle?"

He narrowed his eyes comically, before making a show of stroking his own chin. "I do. And I'm going to figure it out, mark my words."

She shook her head at his antics, moving to go and join Martha and Alexis, but she stopped and turned back when she felt his hand touch her arm briefly. When he spoke this time, his voice was quieter.

"Seriously, though… everything — and everyone — is OK, right? The guys, Lanie, your dad…?"

She smiled and nodded. "Everything's fine. Everyone's fine. I promise. My apartment was just a little quiet, and I haven't seen Martha or Alexis in a few weeks, so here I am."

He searched her face for a moment, then gave a cautious nod. "OK. Well, good — as long as nothing's wrong. We're all glad you came over."

She nodded again, and was about to turn away when he leaned slightly towards her, with a strange mix of expressions on his face. There was the usual teasing, but also lingering concern, and something else besides.

"You know I don't totally believe you, right?"

She sighed, but there was no irritation in it. She pressed her lips together for a moment. At last, she spoke. "I know."

Castle waited for several seconds, but when it became clear that she wasn't going to add anything further, he just smiled graciously and gestured towards the living room.


He was surprised when she laughed out loud, full and free, as if she didn't have a care in the world.

It was a little after 8:20 PM, and Castle was content to watch quietly while the three women in his living room had an animated conversation about the romantic travails of the sister of one of Alexis' friends.

He sat in the same place he had earlier, at the right end of the largest sofa, and Alexis was at the left, with Martha across from her in a favourite armchair. Beckett was between Castle and Alexis, legs curled up on the soft leather at her side. Each of them had a glass of wine, with Alexis's being smaller than the others.

Castle was still wondering what had actually prompted his partner to turn up unannounced, but he was at least no longer worried that anything was amiss. Her cheerful mood and easy manner gave no indication of any source of tension, though she did occasionally glance in his direction as if to verify that he was still there.

Alexis had made some remark about boys often making life more difficult for themselves without realising it, and her tone was so perfectly arch and Martha-like that both of the older women found it hilarious. Castle couldn't help but grin widely, with both pride for his daughter and delight that he was present to see Beckett in a rare unguarded moment.

She suddenly looked around at him once again, and he knew that she could read his facial expression effortlessly. He thought she would look away again immediately, and for a moment it seemed like she was going to, but instead she held his gaze for several more seconds. Her large, dark eyes reflected points of light from the loft's subdued evening illumination, and he felt the familiar sense of everything else in the universe fading away, leaving only her.

He looked away, smiling disarmingly, knowing from long experience that no good would come from pushing his luck. He was peripherally aware of Martha and Alexis pointedly not looking in his direction, but he could have sworn that Beckett shifted towards him slightly before taking another sip from her glass.

The light conversation continued for another half hour or so, before Martha declared that she had an early start in the morning at her studio, and Alexis also asked to be excused to catch up on an assignment for later in the week. Castle and Beckett both stood to bid the two other women goodnight, and within a further minute they were alone.

"More wine?" Castle asked, lifting the bottle to find that it was empty. "I could open another one."

Beckett shook her head, settling back down onto the couch. "Not for me. But you should go ahead if you want."

Castle just put the bottle back on the coffee table and sat down again beside her, leaving a small gap. "I think I'm done too," he replied, then he sighed.

"Penny for your thoughts," Beckett said, and Castle grinned.

"I'll have you know that people routinely pay upwards of twenty bucks for my thoughts. In hardcover, anyway."

She rolled her eyes, but they glinted with amusement. When she didn't respond to his remark, he shrugged.

"I'm just still wondering what brought you here tonight," he said. "And I'm glad you came. Alexis really likes spending time with you."

"And I really like spending time with Alexis," she replied. "And Martha too. Isn't that enough of a reason?"

He could hear that she was teasing him, but there was something else in her tone that he couldn't decipher. He turned towards her, and she mirrored the movement. He wasn't sure whether it was subconscious or not.

"Could be," he said simply. "Alexis is pretty amazing, I've got to admit."

Beckett smiled again. "But?"

"But what?"

"But you don't think that's the whole story."

He shrugged again. "I know you pretty well, I think. I've invited you over for a family dinner about a hundred times, and it's a rare thing for you to agree. Turning up unannounced just to hang out, while wholly encouraged, is unheard of. It's not something you usually want to do. That's all."

She was silent for almost half a minute, and he felt tension rising in his chest. Just when he was certain he'd overstepped and should start to apologise, she met his eyes again.

"You're wrong, you know," she said.


He was surprised when she reached up to gently caress his cheek.

Castle inhaled sharply, and then his eyes fluttered shut. He could smell the sweet scent of her perfume, faded from the day but still instantly recognisable, and it made his heart clench within his chest almost painfully. Her thumb brushed across his cheekbone, back and forth.

"It's not something I usually do," she said quietly, "but I always want to, Castle."

His eyes snapped open again, to find hers looking at him steadily. She wore the expression of a person who had sought to confirm something, and found it to be exactly as expected.

"Kate?" he asked, and he wasn't sure what his question actually was. She seemed to understand anyway, because she smiled, her thumb still moving ceaselessly across his skin.

"I'm so tired," she replied, as if it was an answer, and when she saw his brow furrow in a mix of confusion and concern, she gave a small laugh and shook her head, letting her hand slide down from his jaw to his chest. "I mean, I'm tired of wanting to be here but not being here. I'm tired of… of hoping you'll ask but knowing why you don't."

Castle's throat worked, but he didn't trust himself to say anything. His gaze roamed across her entire face, as if seeking something with rekindled urgency.

She took a calming breath. "But most of all, I'm tired of watching you wonder if this is ever going to happen between us. If I'm ever going to get to the same place as you."

He swallowed thickly, his jaw rigid, and she instinctively began to rub her palm in small circles upon his chest. She watched him marshall his emotions for several moments, and then he opened his mouth to speak, but she could already see that he was going to let her off the hook yet again. She spoke first.

"I'm already there," she said. "We're there. That's why I came over. I'm not saying this right, but… just… me too."

He froze, and suddenly his eyes had a glistening quality they'd lacked only a moment earlier. He drew in a ragged breath, and then he lifted his hand, tentatively, to rest upon her knee. She moved closer.

"Can you wait for… the words?" she asked, her eyes shining and her voice barely above a whisper. "Not long. Just until I can get them from here"— she touched a finger to her own chest, over her heart—"to here," she said, pointing to her lips. Castle smiled, and when he spoke, his voice was rough with emotion.

"If they're there, then of course I can wait. As long as you need, Kate."

Now she smiled too. "They are. They have been for a long time."

Her hand came up to rest on the side of his face again, and as she leaned towards him, this time they both closed their eyes.

When he felt her lips on his at last, he found he was no longer surprised at all.


Author's Note: Back to my real work now, I suppose. I definitely notice a Caskett-like vibe between the two main characters in my latest book. If you're interested in checking it out, I'd consider it a big thank-you for all the stories here over the years. It's called TOLL, and you can find it on your favourite online bookstore by searching for my name.

Until next time, take care, and thanks for reading.

— Matt Gemmell