A new story inspired by the Seven Sages of Hyrule and the fact that Jiraiya is the Toad Sage. Don't ask. The connection was made in my brain, and it made me laugh to picture our favorite pervert having adventures in Hyrule with Link. Hopefully, others will find it entertaining as well. :P

*1*1*1*1*1*1*1*

Chapter One: The Eighth Sage?

Link, the Hero of Time, the One Chosen by Destiny to save the Land of Hyrule, was taking a break. Hey, saving the world is hard work! So there he was—enjoying the hot springs of Kakariko Village.

Or at least he was trying to.

The blonde-haired, blue-eyed youth leaned back in the hot water, sinking down until the water was just under his nose as he tried to ignore the perverted giggling coming from the far end of the men's side of the hot springs. He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the world around him. He needed to unwind before he returned to the life of a hero. Having just destroyed the dragon Volvagia and thus freeing the Sage of Fire, who turned out to be his friend and Goron Blood-Brother Darunia, Link needed a serious break from all the dungeon-exploring and monster-fighting. Especially since his next stop was Zora's Domain to find the Water Temple. And he wasn't looking forward to seeing the spoiled Princess Ruto again.

But with every perverted giggle he heard, Link's temper was getting closer and closer to being unleashed.

Opening one blue eye, Link looked over to the source of the giggling and saw a large, well-muscled man with long, spiky, white hair tied up in a ponytail and was only wearing a towel around his waist. The man was crouched down near the dividing wall that separated the men's side from the women's side, and he had his face pressed up against the wall.

Now, even though Link was technically only ten-years-old mentally—having come forward seven years into the future in the blink of an eye with only his body maturing while he was placed into a deep sleep—he still knew enough to guess that whatever the man was doing wasn't good. And just as he was about to get up to go say something to the man, a voice suddenly spoke up from his left.

"What a pervert!"

"Gah!" Link cried out as he jumped a little to the side and put up his hands in some kind of martial arts stance as if to defend himself. He relaxed when he saw it was only his fairy partner Navi.

Unlike the other kids in Kokiri Forest where Link grew up, he was the only one to not have a fairy partner. Most of the kids felt sorry for him, and one of them even made fun of him for it. His best friend Saria, however, just accepted it and tried to make him feel better, although she didn't understand why he was the only one without one either.

But that all changed the day Navi flew into his house and subsequently started his whole quest to save Hyrule.

Link looked at his partner now as she floated at head-level to him. He couldn't quite tell since fairies look like little balls of light—in Navi's case, a bluish-white light ball—with wings, but he was pretty sure she was still looking at the white-haired man and ignoring the fact that she just scared her friend with her sudden appearance. If he could see her body, Link was pretty sure she'd have her arms crossed while scowling at the man.

"Navi? What the heck are you doing in here?!" the hero asked indignantly. "This is the men's side!"

Again, even though he couldn't see it, he could almost swear she just rolled her eyes at him. "Seriously, Link? I hide in your hat and your clothes and have been around for more than one of your baths in the river and lake, and now you're worried about me seeing something?"

"I-er...well..." Link stammered as a blush crossed his cheeks.

Navi sighed. "I'm not a pervert, Link. In fact, I don't even look at you like that considering the physical impossibilities, but forget all that now! You should do something about that guy! He's peeking on the women!"

"Right!" he stood up and quickly wrapped his towel around his waist while Navi humored him by turning around. "I was actually about to do that when you showed up," he told her.

Navi didn't reply as Link got out of the water and made his way over to the man who was still peering through the wall. When he was right behind the man, Link asked, "What are you doing?"

"Shh! I'll let you have a turn in just a minute," the white-haired man replied while waving a hand at Link as if to shoo him away, but he didn't turn to look at the hero. "I just need a bit longer to finish my research today."

Link's eyebrow twitched, and he yelled rather loudly, "I don't want a turn! You're peeking at the women, you pervert!"

There were several gasps followed by a moment of silence. Then suddenly, the air was torn with the screams of several women, and the dividing wall was knocked over on the white-haired man as the screaming women stormed over in a rage. They were all wrapped in their towels, but Link still ended up getting a view of more female flesh than he's ever seen before. A trickle of blood ran out of his nose as he watched one group of the women pull the white-haired man out from under the wall and proceed to beat the living crap out of him. Link never noticed the other group of women coming after him.

"Get him! He's a pervert too!" they shouted as they jumped at the Hero of Time.

"Gah!" Link yelped, leaping away from the women and running for his life. "Navi! Do something!"

"Like what?!" she shouted back as struggled to keep up with him.

"I don't know! Find a weakness so I can defeat them like you always do!"

"Other than removing their towels, I don't know what to tell you!"

"WHAT?! But I can't do that! I'm not a pervert!"

"Says the guy with a bloody nose!"

"Hey! I couldn't help it!"

Just then, the hero tripped and landed flat on his face. Turning over on his back, he saw the women were nearly upon him and decided to take drastic measures. Focusing his magic, he used Din's Fire, creating a dome of flames around himself that expanded outward, and as it washed over the women, they were left unharmed. Their towels, however...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" the ladies unleashed an ear-shattering scream when they found themselves suddenly naked.

Link, struggling to keep his eyes closed, couldn't stand not knowing if the women were still about to kill him, and he slowly opened one eye. Both eyes opened and grew wide as saucers at the sight of so much female flesh, and Link's nose exploded in a gush of blood as he fell backwards, unconscious.

Sometime later, Link awakened still on his back and in his towel with the white-haired man kneeling over him—fully dressed in mesh armor underneath a green shirt kimono and matching pants and a red haori. He also wore hand guards, a headband with the kanji for "oil", wooden sandals, and a large scroll on his lower back. In addition, the man had red lines going from underneath his eyes to his jaw.

Seeing Link was awake, the man started laughing loudly. "Oh man! You have got to teach me that technique you used, gaki! The way you got rid of their towels just like that," he snapped his fingers, "without hurting them was epic! This has been the best research I've ever gotten!"

"What—Who are you anyway?" Link grumbled as he sat up holding his head, which was aching a bit from blood loss.

"You mean you don't know who I am?" the man asked in shock.

Link shook his head. "Should I?"

"Pah! Why I am the one and only Sage of Mount Myoboku! Jiraiya the Toad Sage!" the man announced while striking a pose.

"Mount Myo-what-who?" Link asked while sweat-dropping at the man's antics.

Jiraiya fell flat on his face. Picking himself up, he said, "You don't know about Mount Myoboku either?" Link shook his head, and the self-proclaimed Toad Sage sighed.

"But you say you're a Sage?" Link questioned as he got to his feet.

"Yup! That's me!" Jiraiya replied cheerfully.

Turning to his fairy partner, who was floating off to the side feeling rather irked by the white-haired man, Link asked, "Navi? This guy's not one of the Seven Sages, is he?"

"Are you kidding me?! There's no way one of the Sages would be a perverted old man!" Navi shouted vehemently while bouncing up and down in the air.

"Hey, now. That's not very nice," Jiraiya said with a sad voice and a pout.

"Neither is peeking on women!" Navi shot back.

Link sighed. "So he's not one of the Sages we need? That really sucks. I was hoping at least one of them would be this easy to find. Can we substitute him for one of the others?" he asked Navi hopefully.

"A-Are you serious?! No! It doesn't work that way, Link!" Navi yelled in disbelief that he would even ask.

All of a sudden, Jiraiya was right next to Navi, and with his index finger and thumb, he grabbed her wings and pulled her closer to get a better look while he held his chin with his free hand in a thoughtful expression.

"What are you doing?!" she screamed indignantly while struggling to get away.

"Trying to figure out what you are. Do you have a body or are you just a ball of light? What are you?" Jiraiya asked with an eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"Get your filthy, perverted hands off me! I'm not about to explain what I am to you!" Navi shouted at him, and Jiraiya released her. She shot forward and slammed into the perverted Sage's face, knocking him over, and then she flew over to Link.

"You okay?" He asked his partner.

"No thanks to you," she huffed.

"Hey, I was gonna help, but I'm kind of in a towel. Besides," the hero continued as he made his way to the changing room, "I was wondering the same things. Kind of disappointed you didn't answer."

"Hmph!" Navi snorted. "Well, I'm not telling you either!"

"Fine, fine. Just calm down, Navi," Link said while making a placating gesture with his hands.

Once in the changing room, he removed his towel and put his white pants and matching undershirt back on. Then he pulled on his green tunic and hat and then his boots and gauntlets. Throwing his sword on so the hilt was over his left shoulder, he put his shield on his back as well and started to make his way out of the hot springs when he ran into the Toad Sage again.

Grinning like an idiot, Jiraiya asked, "So where ya goin', gaki?"

"Uh... Well, first of all, my name's Link," the Hero of Time told him, "and second of all, why do you want to know?"

Jiraiya's grin faded a bit, and he scratched the back of his head in a sheepish manner. "No reason, really. It's just...I'm not from here, and I need something to do until I can find the way back home. Whoever these 'Sages' are that you're looking for sound like they're powerful people, so maybe they could help me get home."

"Where's 'home' exactly?" Link asked as he tilted his head to the side in curiosity.

Jiraiya sighed. "From here? I have no idea. It's a long story how I got here, but my home is Konoha in the Land of Fire, which is one of the Elemental Nations."

Link and Navi looked at each other then back at Jiraiya. "Um," Link began, "yeah... We have no idea where any of those places are."

Jiraiya sighed again, this time with deep sadness. "I figured. But even still, maybe these Sages of yours can help me. Just let me tag along. Please."

Link scratched his cheek and looked at Navi for her opinion. "I don't know," she told her partner. "How do we know we can trust him? He could be one of Ganondorf's men."

"Ganon-who?" Jiraiya questioned, cocking an eyebrow. "Never mind. Look, if I was going to kill you or whatever this Ganon person wants to do to you, wouldn't I have done that while you were out cold?"

"He's got a point," Link said to Navi. "Besides, I get the feeling he's telling us the truth."

Navi sighed. "Fine. Do what you want, Link."

Said hero smiled at her and then turned back to Jiraiya. "As long as you agree to help me on my quest, you're welcome to come along."

"Alright! Thanks, gaki!" Jiraiya exclaimed with a huge grin and a hearty slap on Link's shoulder.

"Yeah, sure," the hero replied as he started walking again with Jiraiya and Navi following. After a moment, Link looked back over his shoulder and asked the Toad Sage, "So, Jiraiya, right? Why do you call me 'gaki'? I mean, I understand we have an age difference, but you say that name like I'm somehow familiar."

Jiraiya blinked in surprise. "Wow. You're pretty sharp, kid. Yeah, I guess you could say it feels like I know you. Probably 'cause you look similar to two former students of mine."

"Really?" Link wasn't expecting that.

Jiraiya nodded. "Yeah. They had blonde hair and blue eyes like you. Though their hair was spikier than yours."

"What happened to them?" Link asked.

"Well, the first one died," Jiraiya answered sadly, and Link and Navi were a bit shocked to hear that. "He died along with his wife protecting the village he was leader of as well as their son." He looked up at the sky as he remembered Minato and Kushina. "Their son was my second student. I'm pretty sure he's still alive back where I come from. I hope so anyway. His father was like a son to me, and so I consider his son to be my grandson."

Link looked at the dejected man walking next to him and gave him a sympathetic smile. "I'm sure he's fine, and if you managed to get here, then I'm sure there's a way to get you back to where you came from," he tried to reassure him.

"I hope you're right, gaki. But enough about my problems," Jiraiya said as his mood went from sad to serious. "What exactly is your quest? What are we dealing with here?"

"Now there's a loaded question," Navi answered dryly. "Long story short, we're trying to stop a madman from taking over our country—possibly the entire world—with a powerful artifact that grants the wish of whoever touches it. We need to awaken the Seven Sages to seal this man away once and for all."

Jiraiya nodded thoughtfully. "I see. And this madman—he's Ganondorf, I assume?"

"Yup," Link said simply.

"And this artifact... Does he already have it, or...?"

"No, he's still trying to get it. Otherwise, we'd already be done for," Navi explained.

"This artifact is that powerful?" Jiraiya asked in disbelief.

"So we've been told," Link replied with a shrug. "All those involved believe it, though, and with all the weird things I've seen—and some of the more horrible things I've seen Ganon do to get his hands on it—I believe it too."

Jiraiya let out a low whistle. "Well, dang. What's stopping him from obtaining this artifact already?"

"Part of it's been hidden from him or something like that," Navi told him.

"Ah. I see. One more question: How many Sages have you awakened so far?"

"Three. And there's three more to go," Link answered. "The Seventh Sage is supposed to be revealed after we awaken the first Six."

Jiraiya nodded again. "Alright, that doesn't sound too bad. You already did half the work, and now you have help." He grinned at Link and Navi, who smiled back and seemed to relax respectively. "So where are we headed now?"

"We're heading to Zora's Domain to find the Water Temple," the small fairy replied.

Nodding, the Toad Sage said, "Alright then! And maybe on the way, you two can explain to me just what in the heck a 'zora' is."

The Hero of Time and his fairy partner sweat-dropped at that as the trio left the gates of Kakariko Village.

*1*1*1*1*1*1*1*

Please review if you like this first chapter! I want to know if you laughed or even just cracked a smile. And for those of you who know the Ocarina of Time, I'm sure you have a pretty good idea of how things are gonna go when Princess Ruto comes in. Hahaha!