Will of the world
A NicoMaki Fanfic – a story inspired by a movie I've watched.
A/N: Hey, hey, hey wat's up. I'm back with another fic.
Warning: For bad grammar and stuff - It's 7am and I've been awake writing this, so don't kill me.
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Summary: Muse had drifted apart over the years, each member going down their own path, reaching for their own goals. Managing to gather one day, Muse had been preparing a surprise birthday party for Nico but it had been too late. Dreams shattered and a love lost, Nico committed suicide on the day before her 22nd birthday. Maki, devastated, could only live on, feeling the emptiness in her heart.
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"No matter how trivial something may seem, it may change the tide in the great stream of time." - Hououin Kyouma
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On the first death anniversary, Maki decides to head down to a shrine, in hopes of having her voice reach Nico. The following night, she has a mysterious dream, telling her she could change the future and the place that she could do so. Desperate, Maki decides to bet on her dream and follows the events in the dream where she ended up at the shrine she had visited the day before.
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Out of breath, Maki falls to the ground as she tries to calm her racing heart. She had rushed over, immediately, after awaking from the dream, not even caring about the time of the day. It was only 4 am in the morning, the sun wasn't even up, the sky pitch black. She hadn't bothered to change out of her pyjamas, not caring how ridiculous she would seem to others – not like there'd be a crowd at place like in the middle of the night.
'Breathe, Maki. Breathe.' She tells herself mentally.
There wasn't any time to waste if what her dream told her could possibly come true. She wouldn't let this chance slip and pile up to her regrets.
If she could really return to that time and redo the past, she'd try anything to get there.
Pushing herself up from the ground, Maki stepped towards the shrine's offering box. Standing in front of it, she took a deep breath before reaching up and behind her neck, removing her necklace that held a ring. Holding it tightly in her hands, she slowly lowered her hand,
'Offer what you treasure the most and reminds you of her.' Maki remembers the mysterious voice that spoke in her dream.
'Pray and speak of your true feelings in your mind. If there's no doubt in your heart, I shall grant you that one wish, sending you back to that day. '
"Nico-chan, wait for me."
Opening her palms and letting the necklace slip through her fingers, she watched as it falls into the box.
"I promise, I'd save you this time, for sure."
Shutting her eyes tightly, Maki puts her hands together as she starts to pray in her mind.
'But remember, you only have one chance.'
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Opening her eyes, Maki finds herself back in her room, back on the bed she had been on approximately 30 minutes ago. Confused by the situation, Maki looks around to confirm her surroundings.
Was it all a dream? Had she been hallucinating?
Her bedsheets... the pile of books on her table… the supposedly broken frame of the picture of her memories as Muse, fixed. All the oddity in her room, it was getting even more confusing and a little creepy.
Catching sight of the calendar around her room, she saw the date stated in bold, receiving a shock. She had been 'sent' back to 6 years ago? It was when Muse was still active.
Unable to accept the fact that she was 6 years in the past, Maki decides to confirm the situation in another way. Maki tries to find her mobile phone that she was sure she had placed at the side table before going to bed to no avail. She searches around her bed, same results. Turning around, she was about to head to the living room to check when her eyes caught the blue bag beside her study desk.
Thinking of the possibility that her phone would still be in her bag, as she often forgets to take her phone out of her bag after returning from practice, exhausted from the strenuous club activities. Kneeling down in front of her bag, she unzips
'No, this can't be… real, can it?' still astounded by the situation, Maki shakes her head hard.
It was true that she had wished to return to the past and change things but, she couldn't believe that it really happened.
It was then, she heard a voice at the back of her mind, throwing her out of her thoughts.
'You shall return to the time of your earliest, deepest regret.'
At the realization that there were loop holes in her memories of the dream, Maki resigned herself to the current reality. She can't do anything
Though, Maki smiles to herself after realising that she had really been given a second chance. This time, she wouldn't let deny the feelings she has deep inside her heart. She couldn't let the tragedy happen once more. She couldn't have Nico end her life, she would save the girl and bring her the happiness she deserved.
As she was still deep in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that the night was almost over; sun light seeping through the thin cloth of her curtains, brightening her room even further than it already was with the florescent lights.
Her alarm rung not long after, knocking her out of her thoughts, notifying her that it was time for her to prepare for 'school'.
Hoping to get her mind used to the 'new' reality she had been sent to live in, Maki racked her brain trying to find the locked, faded memories of her high school days. Those were most enjoyable days of her life; ever since Muse disbanded, the living dream had ended. Maki, a future heiress of the hospital her family owned, had been forced to live like a puppet, following her parents' wishes.
Unable to voice her true feelings after a compromise with her father that she would only be allowed complete freedom in her high school days. That when it was all over, she'd work towards inheriting the hospital and abandoning all her own hobbies and dreams.
Come to think of it, part of the reason why she had fallen in love with Nico, had to do with the girl being able to believe in her dreams and striving for it despite the countless failures. However, it seemed that she had given the girl too much credit; she had lost the girl.
She thought it was fine to be supporting her from a distance.
How could she have thought that Nico would be strong enough to endure anything alone?
No one was perfect. In fact, Nico was far from being perfect, she had many flaws Maki had refused to acknowledge as she had been denying her feelings for the girl. That her imperfections were also part of the reason why she thought she wanted to be by the girl's side, to protect her.
Walking to her closet, she opened carefully, familiar clothes filling her vision. Like it was a natural thing to do, she reached out to a set of uniform, one to be worn in winter. Closing the closet door after her selection, her feet naturally took her to the bathroom to wash up before she changed and get prepared for school.
Stopping in front of the sink, she looked up to the mirror at eye-level, taking in her own features. Her eyes going wide as it was bizarre seeing her younger self in the reflection instead of the one that she had been used too since her appearance had changed over the years.
Shaking her head, Maki turned on the tap as she tried to freshen herself with water and ignore the odd feeling she had.
"I'll get used to it, probably." She tried reassuring herself as she reached out blindly to the towel rack behind her for her face towel. One thing she was glad, was that her room hadn't changed much over the years, some things still placed in the same area, making it a tiny bit easier to adapt to the new reality.
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It took her about an hour to be fully prepared for school. Sitting in the limousine that she normally used as a means of transport, Maki steeled herself for the days to come. She had would be having to repeat 6 years of her life, the current one the most enjoyable of her life but also the start of her deepest regret.
There's practice today from what she had read in the mails in her phone. It was relieve that the calendar she had put up in her room had the days of practice marked, saving her the trouble from finding out and also cancelling out the possibility of missing on any day of practice. She couldn't afford to miss practice if she was to bond with the third year she had a crush on and get her feeling through somehow.
She wouldn't forgive herself if she fails to convey her feelings, having the future end the same way. She was here to make things right. Cowardice would eventually lead to failure. That must never happen again.
Feeling a tap on her shoulders, Maki found herself already at her destination, in the school grounds. Grabbing her bag, she stepped out of the limousine, the door held open by her chauffeur. Thanking her chauffeur absentmindedly, Maki immersed herself in her thoughts once again as her legs naturally took her through the nostalgic building, down the hallways to the first year's classroom.
Sliding open the doors upon arrival, she stride across the room to her seat. It seemed that she had arrived quite early, despite having taken a whole hour for preparation. The classroom was still half empty, small cliques busy with their own conversations in each corner of room.
"Maki-chan!" she swiftly turned her head when she recognised the voice calling out to her. "Good morning, nya!"
It was Rin alright. The orange haired girl pounced on her, wrapping her arms around Maki's neck from the side.
"G-good morning, Maki-chan!" behind Rin was Hanayo, whom she would travelled to school with every day.
Sighing, Maki answered them both, "Morning."
She remembered that Rin was clingy, but this was worse than what she had remembered. Maybe her memory was failing her. Her sense of reality thrown out of balance since the future Rin had learnt to suppress her urges to pounce on anyone as a greeting.
Taking a glance at Hanayo, she also felt a difference. In the near future, Hanayo would have become more confident of herself, and she would have a more mature feel around her.
Just these comparisons made her realise how different Muse had become in the future.
"People change. Of course they do." She muttered to herself in a low voice as she turned her head to the side, looking out the window, her head resting on her palm.
Classes went by fast as she didn't bother listening, keeping herself occupied with plans for the remaining of the day. Since there was practice, and she was Nico's partner for the warm up exercises, she did have a chance to interact with the senior.
Picking up her bag from the side of her desk, Maki stood up swiftly, pushing in her chair then left without a word to her friends still packing up. It was rude of her but it was an expected attitude from her so she doubt they would mind. Even if they do, it was the least of her problems now as her mind was only full of thoughts of a certain black haired senior.
'I'm sure she would already be there on the rooftop, practicing before anyone else.'
Heading down the hallways, Maki kept her eyes locked in front of her, the pace of her walking getting faster as she was feeling anxious.
Even if she went up there now, how was she supposed to face her? She hadn't seen her for a whole year; the last memory she had of her was when she had invited Maki to her most recent concert, also her last, before her career ended prematurely.
Swallowing her saliva loudly, Maki rested her palm on the cold metal knob of the door to the rooftop.
"Relax, Maki. Relax."
She voiced out to herself unknowingly.
She took one last deep breath then pushed the door open, acting as normal as she could. With her usual cool, calm expression, Maki headed towards the spot Muse usually left their stuff at. Ignoring the stares from Nico who was probably surprised at Maki's early arrival.
There was a minute of silence as Nico continued shooting her glances, distracted from her activities prior to Maki's arrival.
"A-aren't you here a little too early?"
Nico stuttered a little at the start of her sentence, unsure of how to start a conversation.
"Am I not allowed to be here early?" Maki retorted with a question, it was an instinct by now for her to speak in such a way to the senior. Though that was only a strong front, internally she was screaming. She hadn't and couldn't make eye contact with Nico since the moment she stepped onto the rooftop.
Anxiety rising in her as each second passed.
She miscalculated.
Why had she chose to turn up at practice early? It was to be expected that they would be alone.
'Rin, Hanayo, please just come up here already!' she mentally called for help.
She was start to feel the pressure of having stay near her senior.
It was still painful for her to be around her. It felt strange for her to even be able to hear her voice when she should no longer be in this world.
"Hey, Maki-chan. Are you even listening?"
Maki was startled so badly, she backed up to the fences, her back pressed up fully against it.
Nico had popped her face in front of Maki, the distance between them almost zero, staring at her with an annoyed expression.
'She scared the crap out of me.'
Averting her gaze, Maki had clenched her hands against the wired fence, feeling her heart pounding so hard it was about to burst.
Furrowing her eyebrows upon seeing Maki's reaction, Nico crossed her arms, backing away a little still keeping her eyes on the redhead.
"Hmph. I see you are pretty displeased seeing me today, huh? You don't normally react this strongly. Have you seen a ghost or something?"
"Y-you must be kidding, ghosts don't exist."
"Says the one who believes in Santa."
'Well, I think I could believe in almost anything now that time-travel has been proven.'
Clearing her throat, Maki crossed her arms as she stepped towards the shorter girl, towering over her. "Santa exist." It was a second later when she realised she was at a close proximity with Nico and that she was actually meeting eyes with the girl. But because of her realization, she backed away once again, turning around to face the fence as she leaned her head against it.
"What the hell is wrong with you, today?"
Nico couldn't grasp what was causing Maki to be acting so strangely.
"Nico, could you possibly give me some time alone?"
Her tone changed, also dropping the honorific she normally used for the petite senior.
"Fine." Sighing, Nico agreed.
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Lucky for her, Rin and Hanayo arrived 15 minutes later and Rin had managed to get rid of the tension present.
Watching Rin interact with Nico as she sat by the fence drinking some water to quench her thirst after a short warm up alone, Maki found her eyes watching each and every movement Nico made. She also paid attention to the various expressions she had, seemingly having fun with her cat-like junior.
"This definitely feels too surreal."
"What is?"
Hanayo asked, Maki not aware that she had just spoken that out loud.
"Eh?"
Looking at Hanayo confused for a moment until the girl repeated her question.
"W-What feels surreal?"
Turning her and directing her attention back to Nico, Maki remained silent for a whole minute.
"It's nothing." Was the answer she had come up with; there was no way she could explain the ridiculous situation she was in – that she had come from the future, in hopes of saving Nico from committing suicide from despair.
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The day had passed in a flash after everyone was present for practice; it was a nostalgic time for her. She was mentally 22, but since she had travelled back to the past, her body was that of a 16 year old. Having no problems keeping up with the others for practice, she had all the fun she could before reality hits her again.
Muse had split up after practice, save Nico who decided to remain a bit longer in the clubroom. Maki had offered to stay with her which caught the other members and Nico off guard; she was warming up to the petite girl so willingly.
Maki sat at the table in her usual seat, pretending to read a book as she took side glances at the petite senior.
Nico had been updating their group blog and her own personal blog, when she felt a presence behind her back.
Turning around, she looked up to find Maki staring down at her with an expression she hadn't seen before.
To be honest, Nico was feeling a chill from how weird Maki was the whole day. It was almost creepy how Maki was acting so different from any other day.
She was caught further off guard when a hand touched her cheeks and she could feel the trembling. She locked eyes with Maki only to see the unknown expression turned into that of sorrow.
"Maki-chan…?"
Keeping eye contact with her junior, Nico tried to remain calm. She shouldn't be getting her hopes up. She tried to convince herself that Maki was probably sick and she would return to normal the next day. Although, all of such conviction had vanished the next moment, Maki had leaned forward, enveloping the petite girl in an embrace.
Maki on the other hand, didn't think she would act out of her plans, taking action so early. She was overwhelmed with feelings as she watched the small back of the one she loved so dearly. Although, she never had the courage to confess her feelings to Nico.
Not knowing the way to comfort her junior, Nico merely returned the embrace, keeping the trembling and crying mess, in her arms.
It took a while for the redhead to calm down, pulling away only a little; keeping petite in a half-embrace as if the petite girl would cease to exist if she had let her go completely, despite the warmth she could feel from the girl, proving that she was real.
Looking at the petite girl in her arms, Maki was determined to save the girl from any tragedy. There's no way she'd lose this warmth again.
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After the breakdown Maki had, it was awkward to stay any longer in the clubroom so Nico suggested for them to return home for the day. Dumbfounded by Nico who shot up from her chair, and shut down the computers so quickly Maki couldn't comprehend the girl's actions. In another instant, Nico picked her up back and before Maki knew it, Nico was at the door, ready to leave.
Trailing behind the petite girl, Maki was trying to gather her thoughts.
Should she take the initiative to invite her senior out? It might seem very out of character for her but she was done with her past self. She shouldn't miss any chance to get close to the petite girl as there was less than a month left till the girl would graduate.
Taking action now would be appropriate measure to avoid any tragedy.
"N-nico-chan."
Maki called out, her voice trembling as it takes a lot of courage for her to be honest, and especially the one she held feelings for deeply.
Turning just her head around, Nico raised a brow at Maki, "What is it?"
Maki had addressed the senior like she normally did, so there probably wasn't a need to be worried.
"I-I'll walk you home."
"…sure…?"
Alright, she was wrong to think that Maki was okay at all.
She was still acting weird.
Never had it come across her mind that her junior had any other intention then what she said.
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"Maki-chan, we're already here. At my doorstep."
Squinting her eyes, Maki was contemplating, whether or not to stay over at the girl's house until she was sure that Nico was safe. She was getting paranoid. Although she knows she's merely scaring herself.
"Why do you have such a serious look on your face?"
"I'll stay over."
"Huh? Why are you deciding that by yourself?" Nico was getting annoyed with how Maki seemed like a completely different person, it bothered her too much. "Do you have a fever or what? You've been acting like I'd go missing or something if you took your eyes off me for even a second. I'm not a kid. I can take care of myself just fine." Glaring at Maki, the petite senior dug into her pocket, taking out the keys and unlocking the door.
What she hadn't heard were the soft mumblings of Maki that was drowned out by the sound of the heavy wooden door opening.
Nico had entered her house, leaving the door open to the frozen red head.
Minutes passed, Nico wondering why the red head hadn't invited herself in. Shaking her head, she backtracked to the entrance, seeing Maki still deep rooted to the ground at the same spot.
Shaking the redhead quite violently, she brought Maki out of her trance. Then she proceed to take Maki's hand in hers, pulling her in as she shut the door closed behind them.
"Stop standing there like an idiot. I leave that door open for a reason."
Maki felt disappointment the moment Nico took her hand away, their contact broken.
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With her hand draping over her eyes, Maki laid on her bed, facing the white ceiling.
She was exhausted; it was just a day's interaction with Nico and there were more to come. Being honest to her feelings was a difficult task, especially to someone who was always in denial.
Maki had left after dinner with Nico's family fully present – her mother had return home early from work – as she didn't want to intrude on their family time.
As much as she envied the close bonds and the cheeriness at the Yazawa's, she didn't belong there. Just yet, maybe.
Closing her eyes, Maki almost immediately drifted off to sleep, exhaustion having taken a toll on her body. The days' events were just too much for her mind to take in. The last thought on her mind being Nico as she finally surrendered herself to sleep.
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A week had passed since the day she was sent to this reality, and all she had been doing was being roundabout in both her actions and feelings.
She understood that time was precious and that she should be taking bigger steps to get together with the girl, but her pride was still a reason she couldn't. She didn't want to seem desperate – even if she was – to Nico who's oblivious to her true feelings.
"Eli, can I talk to you for a minute?" Maki walked up to the blonde senior; they were in the middle of practice and Eli was taking a break.
Meanwhile, Nozomi was keeping Nico occupied at a distance.
Feeling that it was safe to bring up the topic, Maki decided to ask the blonde for her advice.
Eli nodded her head as she continued sipping her drink, giving her junior the queue to start talking.
Folding her arms and leaning against the fence beside Eli, Maki started, "It's…" she hesitated for a second. "It's about Nico-chan."
A small smile visible on Eli's face as she put away the drink she was done with.
"Are you planning on confess to her?"
"Ueeh?" Maki hadn't expected such straightforwardness from the blonde on such a topic. Clearing her throat, she calmed herself down, resuming the conversation. "I-I do."
"So you're here for some advice, eh?"
"Yes."
Directing her gaze on Nico as Eli did the same, Maki was honest with answer.
There was moment silence.
"Just go for it."
"What?"
"Just do it. Spill the bottled up feelings you've been keeping. As simple as that. Don't think too hard. Nico's as oblivious as she seem, she's just like you, afraid that you'd reject her."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Look, because that's what I've been through." Turning her attention to Nozomi, Eli continued. "I couldn't bring myself to be honest at the all either. Thinking back, I was a coward. But I had to change, if I wanted a future with her, even a slim chance at that."
Catching Eli's gaze on her, Nozomi turned her for a split second, flashing her a smile before she returned to teasing her petite friend.
"Maki, don't live with regrets. If there's only one chance, use it wisely."
"Eli…?"
Those words, could it be?
"Eli, are you –"
"OI, just how long do you plan on resting? Trying to slack off, eh? I'm pretty sure Umi only gave us 5 minutes. I'm sure you don't want her yelling at us."
Nico came cutting into the conversation before Maki could finish her sentence.
'Did she come from the future too?'
She couldn't confirm her suspicions, Eli already in position and ready to resume practice.
'What about Nozomi?'
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The final live. It was all over in a flash.
And before she knew it, it was the day of graduation. Three weeks and she hadn't managed to confess to Nico.
She had to do it today, or it will be over and the tragedy will repeat.
Calling the petite girl out right before the graduation ceremony started, Maki waited behind the building the ceremony was to be held at.
Waiting patiently, she revised the words in her head so that she wouldn't mess things up.
As she heard the sound of footsteps approaching, she steeled her will.
Shutting her eyes for a few second, Maki took deep breaths until she heard the footsteps stop.
Opening her eyes, Nico was an arm's distance away.
"The graduation ceremony's about to begin and you called me out here?"
Nico didn't seem too pleased by the odd timing Maki had chosen to call her out.
That, however, didn't shake Maki's resolve to confess to her.
"Nico-chan, after all I've been doing these past weeks, do you understand what they mean?"
"…."
Nico didn't answer.
"I love you."
Three words. Those were the three words, Nico had been hoping to hear from Maki all these time. And she said it. She really did.
"Would you go out with me?"
It felt like time had stopped and Nico was biting her lips, trying her best not to cry before an important ceremony. But it was too much for her, her tears that had been pooling up in her eyes, streamed down her face.
"Y-yes, of course." She was choking her tears, barely managing to give a reply.
A split second later, she felt warmth spread around her; she found herself in an embrace. She returned it almost immediately, not wanting to ever let go.
She'd least expected Maki to confess to her, not today, or ever.
She was sure she'd be locking her feeling and safely shutting them in her heart. That it'd be 10 years down the road, as she looked back and regret her cowardice as she sees Maki, engaged to a man, and eventually, creating a family of her own.
She'd never thought Maki would consider her as a partner, with how mismatched they were in social status and that her family would be counting on her for an heir in the future.
Pulling away just enough to look Nico in the eyes, Maki reached into her pocket for a handkerchief and dabbed away the tears shed.
They remained the way they were until the very last minute that they had to return to the building.
Taking Nico's tiny hand in hers, Maki lead her into the building.
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Since the graduates and the other student body had separate seat allocations, Maki had to leave after escorting Nico to her seat.
Although, Nico hadn't foreseen the events of the graduation ceremony.
Maki, was up on stage, in front of a grand piano, ready to play a piece.
Resting her hand on the keys, she took a deep breath before she started.
"Aishiteru banzai, koko de yokotta.
Cheers for the love, I'm glad we are here.
Watashitachi no ima ga, koko ni aru.
This is the place of our today.
Aishiteru banzai, hajimata bakari.
Cheer for the love, we've just begun.
Ashita mou yoroshiku ne,
I'll still be counting on you tomorrow
Mada, gooru janai
We have yet to reach our goal."
"Sa.
Now."
The rest of Muse had joined in,
"Daisuki da banzai, makenai yuuki. Watashitachi no ima wo tanoshimou
Cheers for the love, don't lose your courage. Let's enjoy the present,
…
…
…"
Eli and Nozomi turned to Nico, both surprised but smiling. They had understood who the song was really dedicated to.
'Nico-chan, I won't lose you this time. I promise.'
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A/N: I might be back soon for another fic, or see me in 10 years.