Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
In Dumbledore's Mind
By: ChoCedric
Albus Dumbledore feels a mixture of emotions as he plans Harry Potter's life out for him. He must admit that part of the attitude he had when he was with Grindelwald still remains: things must be done for the greater good. He still feels an intense amount of guilt whenever he thinks back on the events that tore apart his family: that of Ariana's death and him and his brother's estrangement. He knows it's his fault that so many people were killed during Grindelwald's reign, because he didn't have the strength to fight him for the longest time.
But as he sends little Harry Potter on his way to the Dursleys with Hagrid, he knows now that sacrifices must be made. Harry has to prepare to meet his death at the hands of Lord Voldemort for peace to be achieved in the wizarding world. He feels terrible that he must set the boy up to be a pawn, to be a lamb for the slaughter, but it has to be done. He also knows that Severus Snape is hurting deeply because of the loss of Lily, but he also knows he must manipulate him so that he can protect Harry. He knows this is using Severus's love against him, but in order for this to go successfully, there is no other way.
When Harry first arrives at Hogwarts, looking exactly like his father but with his mother's wide, innocent green eyes, the journey begins. Albus watches him as he finds his way in a new world, a world where people actually care about his welfare, unlike the Dursleys. He is thrust into this stretch of unknown territory, and the Headmaster can see how much the boy flounders. When he catches him looking deeply into the Mirror of Erised, he had to tell him not to dwell on dreams, for he knows all too well what can happen if you wonder about the what ifs for too long.
The first test is when Harry and his two friends, Ron and Hermione, go to rescue the Stone. Dumbledore knows Harry thought it was Severus trying to steal it, and he hopes the boy will realize that appearances can be deceiving. When he comes out of the experience, bloody and bruised but victorious, Albus knows that the mission is truly under way.
As the years pass, Albus continues to watch him. His heart is filled with pride as he sees how Harry survived the Chamber of Secrets ordeal, and then the whole mess with Sirius Black begins. When Albus learns the truth about who was really the Potters' secret keeper, he does everything he can to free Sirius. He sees the wonder in Harry's eyes as he learns he has a godparent who loves him unconditionally.
The most trying year for Harry yet is the year of the Triwizard Tournament. He watches as the boy battles his way through the tasks, and he knows that something dreadful is going to happen at the end, no matter how much he wants to stop it. Pain engulfs him as he watches him arrive back at the school clutching on to the body of the promising, bright student, Cedric Diggory, and he knows how much guilt Harry is feeling. He hopes that the Weasleys, Hermione, and Sirius can help him understand that he's not to blame for the boy's death.
The following year, he feels a massive weight upon his shoulders. He knows he cannot talk to Harry much, because Voldemort is lurking in the boy's mind. Even though he knows this might be a bad thing for the both of them, he sets up Occlumency lessons between Harry and Severus. Needless to say, things do not work out, and Albus knows there is absolutely nothing he can do to make Severus rethink his decision to stop teaching the boy. The Potions Master is as stubborn as they come.
When Sirius dies, Dumbledore resigns himself to the fact that a huge mistake was made. He should have told Harry everything, clued him in on what was going on, and then this may not have happened. He should have informed him of why he needed to take Occlumency, he should have told him more about him and Voldemort's connection to each other. But what's done is done now, and he hopes Harry will eventually forgive him.
He knows the moment he touched that ring Horcrux that his life is going to be over soon. Severus was able to prevent his death from coming for about a year, but Albus is aware that time will run out faster than he thinks. So he spends the next year preparing Harry for his mission of defeating Voldemort, setting up the chess pieces, so to speak. He also knows of Draco's mission, that the Dark Lord asked the boy to murder him in cold blood. He knows that the teen's soul will be corrupted if he goes through with it, and doesn't want that to happen at all costs. And he also knows that no matter what threats Draco has made over the years, the boy is simply not a killer. So he knows that he must have Severus perform the act. When the now Defense teacher tells him of the Unbreakable Vow, the plan is set in motion.
So, as Albus slumps on top of the Astronomy Tower and waits for the blow to fall, his last thoughts are that he hopes Harry will succeed in his mission, and that Voldemort, Tom Riddle, will be defeated once and for all. He hopes that Severus will not falter in his love for Lily, and prays for the man to finally be at peace. He asks for forgiveness for all the wrongs he has done in his life, and can't help thinking of Grindelwald and all the times they had. He hopes that whatever happens, the world will go back to normal, without the possibility of any more dark lords.
So as Severus points his wand at him and yells, "Avada Kedavra," Albus Dumbledore closes his eyes, content in the fact that he has done what he had to do. As he plummets off the tower and falls into the next great adventure, he imagines himself holding little Ariana's hand and flying with her, praying that the afterlife will bring him the pure, innocent joy of his early childhood. Merlin bless you, Harry Potter, is his very last thought.