Disclaimer: Don't own any characters of Naruto. They belong to original writer/artist.
Summary: What would happen if the characters of Naruto somehow switched powers and techniques?
This is a pre-jump fic. (A/N): I decided to combine some chapters to even out the uneven chapter lengths.
It was a seemingly normal morning in the village of Konoha. The sun had just emerged and was peeking from behind the Hokage's faces. Birds flew overhead chirped happily as they scavenged for their morning meal. The streets were still quite empty since the first shops had not yet opened. It was a beautiful morning, nothing out of the ordinary in the peaceful village of Konoha.
Or so it seemed. (DUN-dUn-dunnn!)
As our favorite Konoha ninjas got out of bed that morning, not a single one of them knew that this was going to be one of the most bizarre days ever!
While the streets started to bustle as more and more villagers came out and went about in their usual business, no one seemed to notice the two mysterious figures hiding in the shadows just outside of the village.
"They won't even know what hit them….Muhahahaha…..hahhaa….-AHurrhgh-!" The short ugly one with the mustache laughed, before choking on his spit.
His taller slim female companion rolled her eyes. "Silence, you imbecile!" She peered over at the village from their tree-top hideout and chuckled. Yes, soon, Konaha will be in complete utter chaos and will soon be RUINED! By the time they realize what has happened, they will be powerless to stop us from taking over!! BWAHAHAHA!
Tsunade woke up with her face buried in a desk full of unfinished paperwork and a sake bottle in her hand.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!" A terrible screech soon broke out from the Fifth Hokage's office, closely followed by another one: "SHIZUNE!!!!!!" Tsunade stared in horror at the sight of what was in front of her…or rather at what was not in front of her.
Her trusty assistant barged in through the door. "Tsunade-sama! What's wron-.." Shizune's look of concern quickly turned into a gasp of horror. …YYEEeeegh!..Holy Jiraiya Lord of all Apes!"
The Tsunade that stood in front of her was not her typical youthful 20-something-year-old-looking self. Her usual pearly smooth flawless face was replaced by crinkles and lines. Shizune hadn't seen her look this bad since recovery period after she used her Re-generating Jutsu against Kabuto and Oruchimaru to save Naruto.
This, though, was not the most shocking thing. Her youthfulness was gone, yes, but so was another very big thing. Actually, two very big things.
"YOUR BOOBS! TSUNADE-SAMA, WHAT IN KAMI'S NAME HAPPENED TO YOU!" Shizune cried, her face twitching with shock. The front of Tsunade's green robe hung very sadly loose from her, absent of its usual two inhabitants, her two infamously large breasts.
"Shush!! Keep your voice down!" Tsunade pulled her young protégé aside, locking the door and drawing all curtains. "I don't know what's going on! I fell asleep in my office last night like usual and woke up like this. When I try to activate my youth jitsu, nothing happens. It seems that my powers are not working today...or it's more like, I can't remember how to do any of the handseals…"
Shizune picked up the sake bottle. "Was it something in the sake? How many times have I warned you, Oh….Tsunade-sama…YOUR BOOBS!"
"Shh! Will you keep it down?" Tsunade hissed. "Now listen to me, I am going to try to fix whatever this is. You keep watch close by. If anyone asks for me, tell them I am sick. I repeat NO ONE MUST SEE ME LIKE THIS!" She grabbed Shizune by her robe and shook her repeatedly.
"Uh-uh-uh-uh….Hai!" Shizune hurried out with her eyes still spiraling, locking the door behind her. Tsunade hated being in her "actual age" form for long. Shizune sweat-dropped at the thought of finding out how things will get if Tsunade's breasts went missing for long. She hoped hard that Tsunade would recover soon, or else things are sure to get real ugly…
As "granny" Tsunade hid in her room, little did she know that she was not the only one experiencing weird changes…
In the meantime, the Akimichi's were having their first of many meals of the day: homemade Korean BBQ, their all-time favorite cuisine which they didn't mind having for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and every meal in-between. On a good day, they were able to finish three whole crates of beef ribs.
"Choji, why don't you have the last piece of meat in this batch? We still have fifteen batches left!" said Choza cheerfully to his son, holding the slab between tongs.
"No thanks, I'm full." Choji said, stunning everyone at the table, including himself.
Silence took over the table. I'm full. I'm full. I'm full. The words rang heavily over and over in their ears.
Never ever in Konoha's history had a calorie-chakra converting Akimichi ever uttered those words or any variation of that phrase.
"Call the doctor! My baby is not well!" His mother cried out in worry and shock.
Choza was so traumatized that he dropped his tongs, beef galbi and all, on the floor…and for once didn't pick it up to put it back in his mouth. He called the hospital.
Ten minutes later, an ambulance arrived and took Choji away on a stretcher.
POOR Choji! Who stole Tsunade's boobs? Read on, cuz things are only going to get wackier!
Next chapter will feature Naruto and Sasuke!
This is my first fanfic ever! Reviews are much appreciated! Thanks!