Summary: When you're coffee machine breaks, don't ask your Ex for his. Chances are, it will lead to weird, unfortunate consequences such as suddenly needing a Job, falling in love with him again, and gaining an enemy.

A/N: I don't own victorious and that pic belongs to Liz Gillies:3 not me!

~Broken Coffee Machines and Everything That Follows~

-1: in which Carlos the Coffee Machine Dies and Jade lies-

People often say that when you die, you're whole life flashes before your eyes.

For me, it wasn't my life that I saw. But, if you wanted to get all critical, it wasn't my death either.

It was a coffee machine. My coffee machine, the one that I had purchased and stored in my room with my money. And Tori, an annoying excuse of a singer, had just murdered it. I watched, we all did, as the little machine (I had affectionately named it Carlos) made it's decent from my dresser to the cold, unforgiving floor.

No one moved. No one dared to. I could feel my heart pounding violently in my chest, feel my nails digging into my palm when I had been completely unaware that I had even made a fist to begin with. I was mad. No, I was beyond mad. I was a hair or two away from going bat-shit crazy! But, by some miracle, I managed to reign in my violent and sometimes lethal rage and hissed out a clipped, "Vega." Tori backed away from me with large eyes.

"Jade, I am so-"

"Tori, look out!" But Car's warning had been given too late. In her need to escape my wrath (fear me!), Tori had rammed into one of my butterfly collections framed on my walls. And yes, she had made it collapse to the ground with a heartbreaking 'ker-shink!' Tori flinched at the song of breaking glass before meeting my eyes once again.

"...Sorry." I took in a deep breath and let it out. Then, I did it again. And again. The results weren't that satisfying, though, so I finally gave up.

I dove for Tori's throat.

*BCMaETF*

"So...you need to borrow my coffee machine because..." Beck's eyes met mine for a moment before he returned his gaze to his truck's hood. I did the same, ashamed at the heat I felt in my cheeks when our eyes connected. Because, I was not in love with Beck Oliver anymore, so I shouldn't have been reacting to his eyes like that. They were an ugly, muddy brown anyway.

"I told you. Cat and I were having a sleepover and then Tori showed up. She flipped out for no reason at all and threw Carlos on the ground. And stomped on it a few times for good measure or something." Okay, so I lied. Sue me. Beck glanced over at me as he continued wiping this filthy rag over the hood of his car. There was something about his expression that made me feel like he hadn't believed a word I said.

"Do you really expect me to believe that Tori went to your house to break Carlos?" My insides did some weird flippy thing when Beck said Carlos. It had been a while since I'd heard him talk about anything close to me, let alone Carlos. It was moments like that one that made me thankful that Beck had ever accepted me for my weirdness. But moments like that always ended with me reminding myself that Beck hadn't accepted me after all. In fact, he had left me on Vega's doorstep and then tried to kiss her like two days later (okay, maybe it was a month, but...)

"I do, actually," I said, leaning against Beck's car. I noticed that his eyes zeroed in where my elbows casually rested atop his car. It must've bothered the cheese out of him, seeing me touch it. We weren't dating anymore so I just didn't give a shit. Like seriously. If he wanted to flip out, he could. Not like I had anything to lose now that Carlos was dead. "So what do you say? Can I borrow your coffee machine?" Beck shrugged his shoulders, moving around the car to the left side, all the while dragging that rag (and yes, it was moist, so that made it really gross, and not the funny kind of gross in horror movies, but like Trina's sinus infection gross).

"I mean, I would, but I need coffee, too."

"Not as much as I do?" Beck raised an eyebrow as he began cleaning his truck's window. I watched him do it, because I'd always liked watching Beck wash his car. He was the type of guy to get very into it, using his muscles to scrub at even the tiniest speck of dirt-Ahem.

Not that I cared.

Because I didn't.

"I've gotta wake up at six every morning to go to work," Beck was saying as he knelt down to clean off the rims. I crossed my arms.

"Well, so do I." That was a lie, too. Beck stopped scrubbing and looked over his shoulder at me, suspicion and shock shining in his eyes. And only in his eyes. Because Beck has this way of not using facial expressions when he doesn't want to show people what he's really feeling. He like, uses his eyes, which I guess makes him seem secretive even though he claims he has no secrets.

(That's total BS by the way. I doubt the guys at HA know about his hair product collection.)

"You have a job?" Beck asked.

"Are you surprised? Just because I'm not perky and frilly like Tori doesn't mean I'm not good enough to get a job!" Beck smirked. Like, actually smirked. It was irritating, even more so since he knew that it would irritate me. Grr.

"Not exactly surprised. I just... didn't know you were job-hunting."

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Beck." Oh, that was mysterious and cool. Jade 1, Beck zip!

"Yeah, not really." And he just had to kill my little victory. "So what is it?"

"What is what?" Beck glanced over at me with an eyebrow raise.

"Your job. Where is it at?" The thing about lying, is that you have to tell more lies to cover up your previous lie. And it never actually works.

"I, uh... it's a new place that opened up downtown. You probably haven't heard of it." Beck moved to the other rim.

"Humor me." Damn his curiosity. Damn it to hell!

"Why? So you can make fun of me?" Beck's smirk returned to his face as he got too his feet and dusted off his jeans.

"Fine, don't tell me. I'll just ask Cat." And my ex-boyfriend walked away without saying goodbye.

It took me the entire walk back to my place to realize that not only was I suddenly in need of a job, but Beck also had neglected to give me his coffee machine.

I then proceeded to scream profanities at the sky.

A short summer story. Shouldn't be too long, and the chapters will definitely be longer than this one (I just have to sleep because I have to go somewhere at like butt-crack-a-dawn-o'clock. So yea:P)