Satsu's Journal.
By James Carmody.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, any part of the copyright for the franchise, and willingly forfeit any financial claim to this story or the series' of fanfic that result (namely both), this is just for fun, my own and that of others. Joss Whedon owns the copyright for the show, the books, the comics, and the entire franchise; I will not infringe upon that legal right- even if it wasn't a legal right, or even if it were illegal not to I'd refuse to infringe- honor forbids me from stealing his copyrights at all!
Author's Story Notes: This takes place in an alternate Season 8 setting; like in the comics, Buffy's girlfriend at the time is Satsu, and this is written from her perspective largely, with smatterings of other characters' points of view thrown in.
Satsu is a Japanese girl of Samurai origin- and here this reflects that- complete with the cultural shame inherent in hurting her parents- which her sexuality did by revealing that she's attracted to girls. She's got a little brother in my works, he's her "mouthpiece" to their parents- something they totally support, in fact… they want their astray daughter to come back to living right, so any measure to do so is ideal to them, so long as it might work. A good part of this is her perspectives, her views on her girlfriend's religious views and Christianity in general, as well as her desire to upgrade her weapons arsenal into the realm of the Preternatural, as well as a desire to be understood.
This: [text] refers to "human telepathy" (Prayer) and this *(text)* refers to spirits in action, more precisely what is commonly called "temptation", a subtler and far stronger telepathy involved.
A lot of this has to do with the human capacities within the realm of the preternatural; these include reason, and spiritual capacities- including blessings.
This is a sort-of companion story to two of my other stories, and is officially rated as a 'series' but is in effect a long story, so depending on the site, it will be posted differently. In some, it'll be posted as a single story, in others- ones where the site allows easy upload of stories into a series, it'll be posted as different stories, but in all of them, it'll have different chapters determining what story and what chapter it is that is being read: ex: story *such and such*, chapter number blah-da-de-blah (replace "such and such" with the story name, and "Blah-da-de-blah" with the number of the chapter), all stories will be divided into four to six short chapters. For instance: Story one is "Blessing the Sword" in this case, so the next chapters of that may be "Sword 1, 2, 3 et cetera" as far as how to note it.
As Satsu's the sort of Samurai girl who fights monsters typically, she's a Vampire Slayer, but one of the junior ones- just in case you didn't know who she is.
Oh, and as this is a bit of an AU, and here's how it's an AU: Fr. Gabriel didn't die, but was rescued by Buffy in "Phases" and later on Sunnydale didn't collapse, but the local economy did, so it's kind of deserted.
Satsu and Buffy's relationship is not that intense as it is in the comics, but they do care deeply for one-another, so they're rated as the main pairing.
This is related to some Buffy/Satsu fanfics I'm writing as I write this, one is: "Buffy Blockage" having to do with magical constipation (or so they think), and is pure silliness, the other is "L.Y.I.F." which is a love-story of sorts Yet another is "Letters". This is sort-of connected to all, but is a companion to none.
This also takes place during the "Twilight" events.
Satsu sometimes calls/refers to Buffy by her first name of "Elizabeth", as they were, and can be construed to still be on a first-name basis- they slept together on a regular basis, and it was clear that Buffy wasn't using Satsu, so that's construable that she loves her.
This is also inspired by a Buffy online comic I first read some time ago, I do not know who wrote that one, but this is inspired by that- in particular the religious devotion parts. (And I agree with that writer's perspective of who and what the villain of the series is!)
Note: I am not Japanese, I am, however, writing this from the perspective of a Japanese girl who's got a few "glitches" in her personality- anyone from the Orient, especially from that culture who sees something inaccurate to what I'm saying- consider me to be asking you to tell me what it is that's inaccurate. I know many of them do not like to speak out, but I do not want to live in error, so feel free to message me in private to enlighten me-this is also a learning experience for me. Some of it's just a story, other parts (especially the cultural stuff) I do want to know about and that's the parts that're a learning experience for me. Your help will be much appreciated.
Genre(s): Spiritual, Romance (as in it's a love-story), with a bit of "Supernatural" thrown in the mix.
Summary: Satsu's adventures, basically, as she goes through her days as Buffy's previous girlfriend, studies her ex's religious beliefs, and rescues people- basically: her thoughts as she goes through her days. Please read, review/comment, and enjoy.
Mission Statement: To advocate for proper treatment of all, regardless of our desires and of their propensities.
Pairing(s): Buffy Summers/Satsu, Satsu/Fr. Gabriel.
Characters: Buffy Summers, Satsu, Fr. Gabriel, Faith Lehane, Willow Danielle Rosenberg, Xander Harris, First Evil, Caleb, Twilight (Angel), Rupert Giles, Kennedy.
Story 1 Chapter 1: "Blessing the Sword". (Story 1.: Blessing the Sword, chapter 1)
Beginning Chapter 1 Author's Notes: Yes, this is a little silly, just go with it- this is aimed at being fun while convening a message- one that's as vital for me as for others. Please enjoy. The general gist is that Satsu's in love with Buffy still, even after the breakup, or loosening of the girlfriend relationship and ending the dating between them- a lot of this is Satsu's thoughts.
This story involves Satsu exploring Christianity with her ex-girlfriend Buffy Summers and her new friend, Fr. Gabriel.
Satsu POV.
I awoke one brisk morning in Early Summer here in Scotland; I believe it's called, remembering snuggling with my girlfriend and boss, Buffy Summers. Don't panic, I know it is seen as weird, but hey, I just love her, you know? I know it's unusual for a girl to be in love with another girl, but I just love her so- she's… well, she's gorgeous- especially the way the sunlight glistens off her golden locks of hair around her head in the sunrise or sunset- she's too beautiful to lose the friendship we have- probably why she elected to send me away and break up our romance- that hurt, by the way! However, I was relieved to learn she still loved me as a friend, and desperately wanted to resume our friendship as soon as I learned she does love me as a friend.
That's perhaps what's most beautiful about her, not her gorgeous face or hair or body- slick with sweat and glistening like a thousand diamonds in the sunlight when we would work out together, but her loving personality- so willing to give of herself to protect and keep others safe at her own risk, and recalling working out with her made me think of our sparring matches, and what I had learned of how useful a blessed sword would be to a Samurai girl like me, so I got into the computer room as soon as I had gotten dressed, and proceeded to look up a list of priests who I thought would be willing to bless my Katana- a family heirloom I'd been given.
I was tapping away at a computer when I heard Elizabeth- pardon me, my ex: Buffy, calling for me. I was astonished, as we were no longer an item and no longer slept together, so what did she want me to do? I wondered. I looked up to see her standing in her blue jean sleeveless button-down top at the head of the spiral stairs to the computer lab, and I was perplexed for a moment. "What is it, Beth?" I asked her, and just for a moment I thought I had overstepped my bounds by using a different name, a common nickname for her first name- she'd let me in on the reality that her little known first name was "Elizabeth", but her friends and neighbors, as well as everybody else called her "Buffy", due to her preferring that name to her real name- and by me calling her "Beth" I may have crossed the line and taken liberties with her that I had no right to. Her face confirmed that, she immediately got a cross look on her facial expression, and I feared that she'd berate me in front of our colleagues, but it appears as I lowered my head in shame, fearing the worst, that she decided to show me mercy and she smiled sweetly at me and opened her arms as in an invitation to a hug.
I was elated at the prospect of her heart being opened to me again, and being let into the right to love her again, as well as getting some of her love for myself- although I knew it couldn't be as it was: she'd never take me to bed with her again, just having her to love and be loved by is perfect imho (in my humble opinion).
I had assembled the list of names onto a Word document and proceeded to walk up to my girl after sending the command to "print" to the machines, and we hugged- it was great- my heart overflowed with joy and love at her kindness and affection, but I knew her well enough to know that something was wrong with this situation in her eyes and background, so I begged her to tell me.
In response, she took me up to the Chapel, the room we first stormed when we took possession of this building from some monsters connected to Wolfram & Hart as it turns out. She held my hand the entire time and constantly told me that she loved me and cared deeply about me. This constant reminder of her love of me both calmed me and confused me- since we both knew we loved eachother, why the constant reminders. She took me into the main room of what I guessed in my Pagan mind was a Christian Church near the roof of this Castle. I observed her carry out acts of reverence that I didn't quite understand, and when we got to talking I was shocked and horrified at her boldness in speaking out in the main part of the House of her God. I wanted to bolt; I was so incredibly scared- I half expected to be stricken down on a moment's notice by her God for our actions with eachother- especially when she explained that to some degree, the fellow who usually lives in the Tabernacle is technically her "Emperor" (I hope I got the Christian terminology correct)- no Japanese citizen, even the highest of the Emperor's Samurai himself would be caught Dead doing what we did with one-another if the Emperor indicated that he disliked it! This alone made me question whether or not her God even exists: if He does, why would He allow His soldiers to act like they sometimes do with one-another and not simply "execute and be excused" from the matter? This made no sense to me- and the talking inside the room that was supposed to have His real presence- that freaked me out all the more now that I understood what the beliefs were. I wanted to run and to avoid running at the same time.
I didn't pick up most of what she was saying, but it apparently was clear to her that this was freaking me out, so she took me out back to talk to me- I was so overwhelmed with fear that I didn't pick up most of what she was saying to me, but I got the general gist of her message: she supported me in my search for a cleric to get my Katana blessed (yep, she'd figured out what I wanted to do- amazing mind that Elizabeth Summers has!).
With my Love's blessing, I headed downstairs and outside as fast as I could, in my sneakers, workout shorts, and t-shirt, all of them black, holding my Katana the entire time. Most Samurai name their Katana's with girl's names, but then it's unusual to have a girl Samurai- even more unusual to have one who's also a lesbian as well- but I like guys- just not as dates. Men are fun as brothers or cousins or as friends, but as dates- I guess they've never appealed to me, really. As I took a breather outside, I thought about something Elizabeth Summers told me: of how almost all of her romances- all but me I guess- have been guys, and I understood. I care deeply about my little brother Isoroku, but I'd never see him as a date- that's just gross (incest, Yuck!), and I *sure* have no desire to see any man nude, so marrying a guy is on the outs for me, but how am I to love correctly then? I wondered.
I rested against the castle wall of the turret for a moment to gather my thoughts. It was clear that Elizabeth had intended taking me up to the Castle Chapel to be an encounter of love, but this had freaked me out *big time*, especially her actions in the "office" of her "divine Emperor", a being that I believe was there, but couldn't see, and her talking to me in that room really frightened me.
It took me roughly eight minutes to catch my breath and calm down- amazing that, considering as a Vampire Slayer has phenomenal self-control, and I was still scared to death! I'd heard of the reverence Christians, especially Catholics are said to have in my native Japan for the presence of God in their churches- so this disregard for His presence scared me; I'd honestly held them in the highest regards when I was a little girl, especially the followers of St. Francis Xavier- the missionary to our lands, so how could my ex-girlfriend, a woman who apparently held the same religious affiliation be so casual in speaking in a church?!
I heard Buffy's voice on the other side of the heavy wooden door and a firm but gentle and clearly loving knock- and I knew she'd followed me down the steps, but taken her time. Upon opening it we talked, and later on she explained to me that she'd talked to her friends, and was sorry that she'd freaked me out.
I as for my part explained to her about the Nagasaki Martyrs- how I'd studied them on my own, using historical documents my Watcher had gotten me, and how he'd been killed, as it turned out, by agents contracted by Caleb- a priest who'd sided with the First Evil- she supplied the data on Caleb, and crying I hugged her. I explained how I had had such an incredible respect for the courage of the Nagasaki Martyrs from what I'd read- who practically to a single man had refused to renounce their faith, while wiping my eyes occasionally- only later did I learn of the other persecutions, and how effective the hunting down of the clergy in Japan had been- a quirk intrinsic to the Japanese had allowed that faith to survive there in conditions where it would have died out very rapidly anywhere else, and how it had been effectively a model of the persecutions of her faith all across the globe ever since: "eradicate the priesthood and higher and the rest of the faith shall die" being the strategy of an evil spirit apparently- otherwise how in the world would there be such frequencies of the same method of persecution in such disparate groups across the globe? "The Soviets tried it, they failed, the Classical Romans tried it, they failed and were absorbed into that faith, the Communist Chinese are even trying it today, and all have thus failed- even my own people tried it in our time, and we came the closest to success in that list of stages of persecution- and still it survived, the Nazis tried it, and they failed, the Early Modern Era British tried it, and they came to naught in their efforts, the French Revolutionaries tried it, and their efforts failed too- as did Napoleon, with somewhat less success- what gives it such resilience, Elizabeth?" I asked her, making clear I meant not only the "Soviet Union" by "Soviets" but also all their "Political Colonies" and all the nations they held sway over in their time as the USSR.
I said, in completing that speech, "What we're handed as an inheritance we die before we're allowed to give it up- they literally have to pry It. From. Our. Cold. Dead. Fingers." I said, making sure I emphasized all the words to that last set of six to make sure she understood the sacredness of our inheritance to us Japanese. I thereby reiterated to my ex-girlfriend how in my native Japanese society an heirloom is handed down and the thief literally has to end the family line to get it.
This brought up the question of how my parents had chosen to give me the katana, and not my brother. I explained that with my becoming a slayer, I now had preternatural strength, so it befell me to have to protect my baby brother- not exactly a baby: Isoroku is only five years younger than I am, he's the same age difference from me as Dawnie is from my beloved Elizabeth in fact, and I care about him in the same ways she cares for her!
With Buffy's encouragement I sought out Willow in the gardens to try to arrange transport to Sunnydale, and to meet my ex's previous pastor, whom she referred me to: Fr. Gabriel I believe she called him.
End Chapter 1 Author's Notes: Satsu is roughly 21 at this time, making Isoroku about 16, a high-school student, their bond is complex: he's her lawyer to their parents and her representative- a deal her entire family welcomes, as they want their sinful daughter to live right and to quit having girlfriends she makes out with! Isoroku is the peacemaker between her and them.
The next chapter will have to do with Satsu meeting with Fr. Gabriel and finding out more about this brand of Christianity she'd studied for a bit- a common interest I've heard in Japan. It will freak her out, she was pretty frightened by the talking inside a church with her ex, but some of the behaviors will alarm her still even more. I figured this was a good place to stop this story here for now, and to resume it with the next chapter.
I kind of love Satsu, and make no mistake; she's a heroine in this one. Her reaction to her ex's activates in church is due to a common belief held by many pagans that "God is to be feared as someone who'll step on you and kill you if you defy Him.", she's frightened of this and wants nothing to do with the disrespect she sees or perceives to be going on inside the Chapel of the Castle- it frightens her and she just wishes it would stop- but she has a great respect for Christians, especially Catholics, due to the courage she'd heard of in their executions and she wishes to have a share of that bravery.
I welcome the input of others and deeply desire to hear what they think of this. Thank you for taking the time to read this and the patience to read it.