Hello all, I just wanted to include a little author's note here. I've been writing fanfic for the last couple of decades, but this is the first time I've ever gotten up the courage to post something. My favorite TV show was "Stalker", which aired from October 1st 2014 to May 18th 2015, before it got cancelled. I wrote this in March 2015, when Stalker was on hiatus and it was unsure if the remaining 3 episodes would be aired. It took me about a month to complete and was written as a very long one-shot. The story takes place between episode 1x13 "The News" and episode 1x18 "The Woods" and is my version of what happened between Beth Davis and Janice Lawrence during that time. The ending is purposely rushed, as I did not wish to delve into the whole Ray-kidnapping-Beth plot. I'm working on a sequel, so it will be explored in the next story.
xxx
"Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breath me."
xxx
The first time it happens, Janice panics. She is floating just at the edge of sleep when she senses a presence in front of the couch she's sprawled across. She opens her eyes to find Beth standing there staring down at her, her white button-down pajama shirt and tiny shorts practically glowing in the dark living room.
"Beth," Janice gasps, rising up on one elbow and making a move to get up. "What is it?"
Her mind flashes back to a few weeks before, when she had asked the same question of her boss. After weeks of acting strange and secretive, a crying Beth had finally confessed that she was being stalked, and had come clean about her past. Since then, things had spiraled out of control, with Perry and Ray teaming up and in the wind, and Janice, Jack, and Ben taking turns camping out on Beth's couch each night.
Every third night it is Janice's turn, and everything has gone smoothly so far. The regular routine is to adjourn to Beth's place after work, sometimes picking up takeout and other times cooking, depending on their mood and how tired they are. After dinner they watch a movie or work on their laptops, finishing up cases, and then it's time for bed. Janice doesn't usually have trouble sleeping away from home, so the couch works fine for her. In the morning, they share coffee and breakfast before heading back to work. Janice assumes the routine is the same when Jack and Ben are here too.
The nights at Beth's place have been uninterrupted so far. Once they go their separate ways in the evening, Janice doesn't hear a peep from the other woman until morning. She assumes Beth can't be sleeping all that well, given what's going on, but if she is restless or waking up from nightmares, Janice is none the wiser. The house is so quiet at night, you can hear a pin drop.
That's why she is shocked to find her boss standing before her now, her skinny legs trembling, her hands clenched together. Janice is immediately on her guard, alert for danger, but other than Beth's rapid breathing the house remains as silent as it usually is at two o'clock in the morning.
"Beth, what is it?" Janice asks again, raising one hand to wipe the sleep from her eyes. "What's wrong?"
Beth continues to stare down at her, not saying a word, and Janice starts to wonder if the other woman is even awake. Sleepwalking, especially when the person's eyes are open, has always unnerved her, so she reaches up to grab the other woman's hand.
"Everything is okay, Beth. Do you want me to walk you back to your room?" She notices that Beth's hands are clammy and her fingers tremble slightly in her grip. "Hey, it's okay," she says softly. "Did you have a nightmare?"
The trembling turns into shaking and Beth's grip on her hand tightens to the point that Janice winces. She is still lying on her side, and she moves farther back against the couch, tugging Beth down so the other woman is perched on the edge. Beth has her back to her, and Janice gently untangles her hand and reaches up to stroke the long dark hair that has become unruly with sleep.
"You're safe, you're okay," she whispers, her hand moving down to rub soothing circles on the other woman's back. Beth is very tiny and she can feel the knobs of her spine protruding through her thin pajama top.
They stay that way for several minutes, Janice rubbing Beth's back, neither of them speaking. The only sound in the house is Beth's ragged breathing. Janice feels the couch shake from time to time with the force of the other woman's trembling.
Suddenly Beth swings her legs up onto the couch and slides under the covers with Janice. She lays on her side, her back against Janice's front, and Janice's arm automatically wraps around her waist, as there is nowhere else to put it. They are very thin women, so they both fit on the couch, but there is not an inch to spare.
Janice is suddenly acutely aware of the fact that she is only clad in a tank top and panties. She has never really been one to wear pajamas and would probably be sleeping naked if she was at home right now. She is very comfortable in her own skin and doesn't usually find situations like this embarrassing, but this is her boss pressed up against her, so it's different. She is thankful for the dark, as her face is most likely burning read with embarrassment.
Beth has been tiny since Janice started working for her four years prior, but this is the first time that she has ever seemed fragile to Janice. Despite her small stature, Janice has always thought her to be a fierce and capable boss and her respect for the other woman has only grown over the years. But despite the fact that they've always gotten along well, two strong women in a predominately male work environment, the admiration and respect they have for one another as colleagues has never transitioned into friendship. Janice used to wonder why, and after the events of the past few weeks, she thinks she has her answer.
Beth is so small in her embrace, it feels like she might disappear. The shaking hasn't stopped and Janice can feel her heart pounding. She still has not uttered one word.
Janice's heart is breaking for the other woman, so despite the awkwardness of the situation, she links their fingers together and pulls her boss closer to her. If Beth is aware of Janice's lack of clothing, it doesn't seem to bother her. She tucks their joined hands underneath her chin and shuts her eyes.
The shaking gradually decreases and Janice feels the other woman's heart rate slowing down. Beth is breathing deeply and evenly, emitting soft snores from time to time. Janice continues to hold her tightly, relief and concern coursing through her. Sleep doesn't come for a long time
When she awakes in the morning, she is the only one on the couch.
xxx
The work day is a busy and intense one. They have other cases besides Beth's so there is always a lot to do. Perry and Ray have been silent and have yet to make the next move, so for now at least, there are other things to concentrate on.
Janice sits at her desk, a slight frown on her face, as she watches Beth on the phone in her office. The morning at her boss' place was surprisingly normal, not unlike any other morning Janice has woken up there. She had awakened by herself on the couch, the sun streaming through the blinds, the smell of coffee in the air. She had hurriedly thrown back the blanket and pulled on her jeans, before Beth had come into the room, smiling at her and handing her a steaming cup of coffee.
Janice had accepted it gratefully, sipping the hot liquid and gazing up at the other woman curiously. Beth appeared to be as put together as she always did, already dressed for work, her long hair styled impeccably.
"How are you doing today?" Janice had ventured, running a hand through her own short strawberry blonde hair.
Beth smiled at her again. "I'm great, thanks. You better get moving if you want to get to work on time."
Janice had started to say more, but Beth had left the room before she could. She had hurriedly showered in the guest bathroom, and they had each taken their own cars to work.
Now the day is business as usual, Beth pacing around her office, her face serious as she converses on the phone, Jack and Ben arguing at their desks. Janice is beginning to wonder if Beth even recalls the events from the night before.
She glances at her co-workers, wondering if their boss has climbed onto the couch with either one of them during their stays at Beth's house. She is tempted to ask but neither one has mentioned anything and she doesn't want to embarrass the other woman by bringing it up. She knows that Beth is already somewhat put out by all the attention she is receiving, even though she appreciates it. Beth has always been a bit of a lone wolf.
Jack throws her a glance, asking if everything is okay, but before she can respond, Ben snaps at him about something to do with their current case, and they are snarling at each other again. Janice closes her eyes, wondering if she can deal with another day of them squabbling like teenage girls.
xxx
They keep the usual pattern for the next couple of days, Jack staying over with Beth, and then Ben doing the same. Neither one mention anything about any odd behavior from their boss.
When it's Janice's turn to stay over again, she is tired and grouchy, although trying not to show it. She has not slept well for the last couple of nights and has been fighting a headache for most of the day. Time and time again, she finds her thoughts returning to Beth, what she has been through, and the issues she is facing now. Such deep thoughts don't bode well for a good night's sleep.
She feels Beth's eyes on her now, as they both work on their laptops, Janice on the couch, her legs tucked under the blanket, Beth across from her in one of the armchairs. The TV is on low, some old comedy from the '70s playing.
"Everything okay?" Beth asks, one eyebrow raised, her hands pausing on the keyboard.
Janice forces a smile. "I'm fine. Just a bit of a headache. Just waiting for the Tylenol to kick in."
Beth frowns. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well, Janice. I could have asked Jack or Ben to stay over tonight." She pauses. "I should be fine on my own if you want to get a good night's sleep in your own bed. It's not like I need a babysitter every night."
Janice doesn't bother to tell her that sleeping in her own bed won't help, not while thoughts of the woman sitting across from her are consuming her. Instead, she smiles again. "I'll be fine, really. I don't mind staying."
Beth returns her smile and closes her laptop. "Okay, if you're sure. I appreciate you staying, Janice. I'll see you in the morning."
They say goodnight, and Janice pulls off her dress pants and blouse, too tired to change into the pajamas she has remembered to bring this time. The tank top and panties will have to do. She burrows under the blanket and closes her eyes, hoping sleep will come.
xxx
The second time it happens, Janice has just drifted off to sleep, the headache finally loosening its grip enough to get some rest. When she opens her eyes, Beth is standing there in front of her, just as she was three nights ago. She is clad in the same white pajamas, her legs shaking so much her knees are practically knocking together.
"Oh, Beth." Janice raises up on one arm and squints up at her, the dreaded headache threatening to make a comeback. "Please talk to me. Tell me what's going on."
But Beth is silent, staring down at her, just as she did the last time.
Janice reaches out to take her hand gently. "Are you awake? Do you know what's happening right now?"
Beth squeezes her hand and sits down in front of her on the couch, her back to the other woman.
Janice sighs, not knowing what to do. She is not up to being her usual pushy self right now and does not feel like forcing Beth to talk to her. Instead she rubs her boss' back again, alarmed at how thin Beth has become. "I'm worried about you," she murmurs to the other woman's back.
Beth doesn't respond, of course, but she turns around, sliding her legs under the blanket like last time, this time facing Janice instead of turning away from her. She tucks her head into Janice's neck, burrowing as close to her as possible.
Janice frowns, puzzled and concerned, as she puts her arms protectively around the smaller woman. She just wishes Beth would talk to her. Part of her is still wondering if this is some weird sleepwalking thing. Beth is still shivering, and Janice holds her tighter, her chin resting on the other woman's dark hair. "We're going to get through this, Beth," she says softly. "We're going to catch Perry and Ray and you're going to be okay."
At the mention of her stalkers' names, Beth stiffens, and Janice can feel her heart rate speed up.
"It's okay, I'm sorry," she says softly, her hand coming up to stroke Beth's hair. "We don't have to talk about them. Let's just get some sleep."
Beth seems to be satisfied by this and closes her eyes, one hand gripping the front of Janice's tank top. Janice keeps stroking her hair gently until she is sure the other woman is asleep, and then she drifts off as well.
xxx
In the morning Janice wakes up by herself on the couch again. The headache that was threatening to make a comeback during the night has roared back with a vengeance, and the bright sunshine flooding the room is not helping. She sits up on the couch, head in her hands, and groans.
Beth takes a seat on the coffee table in front of her, strokes Janice's head once to get her to look up, and then hands her a cup of coffee and a couple of Tylenol. Janice belatedly realizes that she's still not wearing pants, and is thankful that the blanket is over her lap.
"Maybe you should take the day off," Beth suggests kindly. "Get some rest."
Janice stares at her, resisting the urge to squint against the bright light. "It's just a headache, I'll be fine." She hesitates. "Look, Beth, I think we need to talk."
Beth stares back at her, her features smoothing from kind sympathy to completely blank. She is ready for work, immaculate from head to toe, and Janice suddenly feels silly, sitting in there in her underwear, pale and disheveled, trying to start a serious conversation with her boss.
"I don't mind you coming to sleep with me at night, but I'm worried about you," she says hurriedly. "You need to talk to me, Beth. Or if you don't feel comfortable with me, then someone else. Jack and Ben and I are trying our best to make you feel safe but I know you're still terrified. Perry and Ray are going to screw up at some point and we're going to catch them, but until that happens we need to figure out what to do to help you."
Beth stands up, her face still carefully blank. "You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine."
"You're obviously not," Janice snaps, her temper flaring. "Please stop lying to me." The pain seems to have formed claws that feel like they're digging into her brain. She winces and closes her eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry," she says, her voice softer. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just concerned. You're my friend and I'm worried about you."
"I'm your boss, not your friend," Beth says flatly. "And I'm worried about you, Janice. Take the day off, that's an order." She leaves the room, and Janice sinks back into the sofa, her shoulders slumped, feeling hurt and angry.
She knows that Beth is lashing out because she's scared and it's hard for her to open up about her personal life, but it doesn't make it hurt any less, especially after how close they've been when she's stayed overnight. Her heart aches as she pulls on her jeans and leaves the house without saying goodbye.
xxx
It's Friday, so Janice goes to bed when she gets home and stays there until Sunday afternoon. The headache seems to have evolved into some kind of virus and she is relieved that she doesn't get called in over the weekend. By late Sunday afternoon she is feeling much better and she showers and eats before packing her bag.
It's her night at Beth's. Jack and Ben have both texted to see how she's feeling and have offered to stay over in her place, but she assures them that she is fine and it's not a problem. She has been expecting a text from Beth, telling her not to come, and is relieved when she doesn't receive one. She still feels awkward and upset about what happened the other day, but she still feels the need to be close to the other woman. Something about Beth makes Janice want to protect her. And despite what she said about them not being friends, Janice doesn't agree.
Later that night, Janice and Beth sit in the living room, lights turned low, watching a chick flick and munching on popcorn. The evening has been a surprisingly lighthearted one so far. Janice had arrived with takeout from her boss' favourite restaurant and Beth had seemed very happy to see her. There was no mention made of the events from Thursday night and Friday morning, other than Beth asking how Janice was feeling and apologizing for not texting to check up on her.
Janice lays on the couch, feeling very relaxed and a little buzzed from the wine she's been sipping. She periodically glances over at Beth, happy to see that the other woman appears relaxed as well, even laughing from time to time at the antics on screen.
Toward the end of the movie she notices that Beth has fallen asleep, curled up in the armchair, long dark hair falling across her face. Janice smiles softly and gets up to take the popcorn bowl off of Beth's lap and place it on the table. She heads to the bathroom, stretching and yawning. It's almost time for bed.
A few minutes later she returns to the living room, realizing she forgot to change into her pajamas. She shakes her head, chuckling to herself. She just can't seem to get used to wearing them.
Janice slumps onto the couch and begins digging through her bag, noticing that the credits are rolling on the screen. She glances over at Beth and frowns. The smaller woman has kicked off the blanket she was snuggled up in and is tossing and turning on the chair, whimpering softly.
Janice dashes over to her, kneeling on the floor in front of her. "Hey Beth, it's okay, you're safe. Wake up, sweetie." The pet name slips out before she can stop it.
Beth continues to thrash, her movements becoming more wild, her foot kicking out and striking Janice in the shoulder.
"Ouch," Janice mutters, trying to get the other woman to calm down. She leans forward, gripping her boss' arms, trying to hold her in place. "Beth, it's just a dream. Everything is okay. Please wake up."
Beth's eyes open and she stares at Janice for a moment before bursting into tears. Janice's heart breaks and she feels close to tears herself.
"It's okay," she murmurs, her hands still gripping Beth's arms. "I'm here. You're not alone. I'm here."
A loud sob rips its way out of Beth's throat and Janice can't take it anymore. She gets up off her knees and squeezes into the chair next to the smaller woman, so that Beth is half in her lap. She wraps her arms around her tightly, rocking them back and forth. Beth clings to her and changes positions so she is now fully in Janice's lap, sobbing into her chest. A tear runs down Janice's cheek and lands in Beth's hair. She picks up the blanket that is hanging off the arm of the chair and covers them both with it.
Beth is still crying so hard she is having trouble catching her breath, so Janice continues to rock her back and forth, whispering soothing words into her ear, assuring her over and over that she is safe and not alone.
Eventually Beth starts to quiet down. Her tears turn into sniffles and her breathing evens out. Her body becomes heavier against Janice's, and Janice assumes she has fallen back to sleep. She sighs, just wishing Beth would talk to her. She is still rocking her back and forth, relishing holding the other woman. She is now pretty sure that Beth is only falling apart in front of her, as Jack and Ben have said nothing, and while she is very sad for her boss, she is also flattered that Beth wants to seek comfort from her alone.
After more than hour of holding her sleeping boss on her lap, it occurs to Janice that tomorrow is a work day and she should probably try to get some sleep. She thinks about waking Beth up and trying to get her to go to bed, but decides to just carefully slide out from under her and leave her sleeping.
Janice feels a pang as they separate, and she removes her jeans and sweater. She burrows under the blanket on the couch, knowing that it's wrong to want to stay curled up with her boss for the night. She feels very close to Beth, closer than she has felt to anyone in a very long time, and it surprises her how alone she feels just laying on the opposite side of the room. Janice is a bit of a lone wolf herself and she is not used to this feeling.
She watches Beth for awhile, looking tiny in the big chair, until her eyes begin to droop shut. As she drifts off to sleep, she is relieved that Beth seems peaceful for now.
xxx
The third time it happens, Janice isn't surprised. She's only half asleep and hears Beth get out of the chair. When she opens her eyes, the other woman is standing over her, gazing down at her.
"Janice," Beth whispers, her voice shaking.
Janice is surprised and sits up straight on the couch. Beth has never spoken during any of their nighttime misadventures. "Yeah?" she says softly.
"I'm scared."
Hearing those words uttered from such a strong, brave, woman who Janice cares for a lot, is hard. "I am too," she says, reaching up to take Beth's hand.
Beth nods, clutching Janice's hand tightly. "Janice, I..."
"What is it?" Janice squeezes her hand gently, already knowing what she wants.
"Can I..."
Janice tugs Beth down onto the couch beside her. "Of course you can."
Beth leans her head back against the cushion and smiles slightly. "Thank you, Janice. For everything you've done for me over the past few weeks." She pauses. "I...I don't know how I would get through this without you. I'm lucky to have you in my life."
Janice smiles at her, suddenly feeling lighter than air, despite the drowning exhaustion that has overtaken her lately. "I'm lucky to have you in my life too. I'm glad I'm here to help you through this. There's nowhere I'd rather be." And as she says the words, she knows them to be true.
Beth looks away, blinking rapidly, and Janice takes her hand again, her thumb rubbing soothingly against Beth's palm. "It's really late. How about we try to get some sleep? Do you want to go back to your room?"
Beth shakes her head, and Janice thinks this might be the first time she's ever seen her boss look shy. "Can we just stay out here? My room...I don't really like being in there. Sorry, I know the couch is small..."
"There's plenty of room," Janice assures her. "Do you want to change first, though?" The smaller woman is wearing a T-shirt and jeans.
Beth shakes her head, unzipping her jeans and sliding out of them quickly. Janice quirks an eyebrow in surprise as Beth sits back down beside her in her T-shirt and panties. The room suddenly feels too warm, but then she notices that Beth is shaking again.
"Janice I'm sorry," she gasps, her breath coming in short pants. "I can't seem to keep it together. I keep having flashbacks to what happened to my family and it's like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I-I'm falling apart."
"Come here," Janice murmurs, leaning back against the pillows and positioning Beth between her legs, so that her back is against her chest, and pulling the blanket up over them. She knows it is highly inappropriate to be cuddling with her boss while they're both in their underwear, but she can't bring herself to care. She intertwines the fingers of both their hands and they rest on Beth's stomach. The smaller woman feels light as a feather and Janice can feel her heart racing. Beth pulls Janice's arms more securely around her.
"I'm not usually so needy," Beth whispers. "I'm so sorry. I never act like this."
"Stop apologizing," Janice murmurs, closing her eyes and tightening her hold on her boss. "You have nothing to apologize for. This stays between us. Let me be your outlet."
Beth turns her face to the side so her lips graze Janice's bare upper arm. Janice knows it isn't intentional and she suppresses a shiver. It's been so long since she's cuddled with someone like this, felt so close to another human being. She doesn't have a lot of close relationships. The job comes first and takes priority over friendships and dating. The little family she does have is scattered across the country, and they probably wouldn't spend much time together anyway, even if they lived in the same city.
She thinks back to the one-night stand she and Jack had shortly after he had joined their unit. She doesn't regret it, as Janice has very few regrets in life. She also doesn't mind that it didn't turn into something more. Neither of them were looking for that. They needed some fun, a release from the time-consuming, intense job they did, and that's exactly what they got, no more, no less. It doesn't affect their work in any way. She and Jack get along great, and she enjoys working with him as much as she does with Beth and Ben.
She is usually just fine being on her own most of the time. In fact, she usually prefers it. But lately, she just can't keep her mind off of Beth. When it's Jack or Ben's turn to stay over, she finds herself wishing Beth would tell them to stay home and ask her to come instead. It feels strongly like jealousy, but that is not an emotion that Janice is used to, so she shrugs it off.
Beth has grown a bit heavier in her arms and her heart rate has decreased. Janice is glad because she feels like she can't fall asleep until the other woman does. She needs to protect her.
xxx
Janice opens her eyes, startled. A gray light filters in through the blinds and she hears the patter of rain on the windows. She hadn't realized she had fallen asleep. She is surprised to feel the warm weight of Beth still against her; apparently lack of sleep is finally catching up to her.
Beth had turned over sometime during the night and is now sprawled completely on top of Janice, her head resting against Janice's heart, her long hair splayed out around her head like a dark halo. Their legs are entwined and one of Beth's hands is clutching the front of Janice's tank top.
Janice's heart almost stops when she realizes where her own hands are. One hand is buried in Beth's hair and the other is pressed against her lower back, on a patch of bare skin between the bottom of her T-shirt and the waistband of her panties. Before she can stop herself, her thumb moves back and forth a few times. Beth's skin is warm and soft.
She mumbles something unintelligible and stretches, nuzzling her face into Janice's neck. Janice removes her hand from the smaller woman's back, feeling guilty.
Beth whimpers something that sounds like "help me" and Janice frowns in concern, wrapping her arms around her. "Hey, it's okay, sweetie." The pet name slips out again, and Janice winces. This is her boss and she's most likely being disrespectful.
"Please don't hurt me," Beth whispers.
"No one's going to hurt you," Janice says softly, her fingers fiddling with a few stray strands of Beth's hair. "I think you're just dreaming."
Beth grips Janice's upper arm tightly for a moment, and then her hand goes slack. Janice rubs Beth's back for a few minutes, waiting to see if the other woman will say anything else, but she is quiet. She glances at the clock, taking note of how late it is getting. They need to start getting ready for work.
Janice sighs, wishing they could just take the day off. It is dark and gloomy outside, unusual for Los Angeles, and the rain sounds like it is coming down harder now. She is warm and comfortable, snuggled up with Beth on the couch, and she feels like she can stay there for the next week. The nights of interrupted sleep are starting to take their toll. She has to try her best to sleep as well as she can over the next couple of nights, before it's her turn to stay over here again. Ray and Perry could make their next move at any moment, and she needs to be at the top of her game.
Despite her severe lack of sleep, Janice's heart clenches when she thinks of spending the next two nights away from Beth. What if the other woman needs her and she's not here? What if she takes comfort from Jack or Ben if she has a nightmare? Although she can't see her boss curling up on the couch with either of the guys, the thought still makes her sad. She wants to be the one to comfort Beth. They seem to have developed a very strong bond over the past several days, one that wasn't there before, even when Janice was the only one who knew about Perry, and was secretly looking into him for Beth, while juggling her other cases.
Beth's T-shirt has ridden up a bit while Janice has been rubbing her back, and her fingers have been occasionally grazing bare skin again. Beth's hand suddenly moves from Janice's upper arm to cover her left breast. Janice freezes and holds her breath. Her heart begins to race and she closes her eyes. Oh, this is not good.
She doesn't know what to do. Beth is obviously still sleeping and doesn't realize what she's done, and Janice doesn't want to embarrass her. But that one simple touch has lit a fire inside her and she feels herself break into a sweat. She wills her body to calm down and she tries to control her rapid breathing.
Beth's pinky finger begins rubbing back and forth across her nipple and Janice thinks she will explode. All the nerve endings in her body seem to be going crazy and she chastises herself for not having better control. Both of her nipples have hardened into stiff peaks and are poking quite obviously through her thin white tank top.
Beth lets out a soft snore and Janice doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. She never should have fallen asleep with her boss in such a compromising position, and Beth would be mortified if she knew she was molesting her employee in her sleep. While part of her is internally begging for Beth to stop, another part of her wants her to continue.
Beth's hand beings massaging her breast and Janice's breathing becomes more laboured. "Oh, god," she mutters through clenched teeth. She knows she has to put a stop this before it gets any more out of hand. "Beth," she whispers, but it comes out more like a moan. She sucks in a breath and reaches over to gently grasp the other woman's hand. "Beth." She tries to keep her voice steadier this time. "Hey, we need to get up for work." She places Beth's hand down by her side.
Beth stirs, her head rubbing back and forth against Janice's chest. "Mmmm." Janice closes her eyes and grits her teeth.
Beth suddenly sits up, her bare legs dangling over Janice's lap. "Oh, Janice. I didn't realize-I'm so sorry. I should have gone back to my room last night." She gets quickly to her feet, a blush creeping up her cheeks, and Janice guesses that she's just realizing she's not wearing any pants.
"Hey, it's okay," she tells Beth gently, as the smaller woman hurriedly picks up her wrinkled jeans off the floor and pulls them on. She hopes her voice doesn't betray how out of sorts she still feels. "You needed someone last night. You were having a rough time."
Beth shoots her a quick smile. "Thank you, Janice, I appreciate it. I'm just going to jump in the shower. We're running late. The guest bathroom is all yours."
They look at each other in silence for a moment before Beth leaves the room, and Janice slumps back into the pillows, rubbing her face and sighing.
In the shower she is still so keyed up from what happened on the couch that she can't seem to help herself. Her hands slide over her breasts and down between her legs. She is so turned on, her legs are shaking and it doesn't take long for her to come. She rests her head against the shower wall, ashamed. But she can't stop thinking about Beth.
xxx
If the day started off on a bad note, it doesn't get any better at work. After a quick, awkward morning, choking down coffee and toast in Beth's kitchen, they take their separate cars to the office and find out that Ben has called in sick and Jack is sitting at his desk, looking a little worse for wear. It seems Janice has passed on her virus to her co-workers.
She and Beth spend the majority of the day working together, since Ben is gone and it seems to be just a matter of time before Jack is too. They are so busy with their current case that they talk of nothing but work. Perry and Ray are still quiet, so the subject of Beth's stalkers is not brought up at all. They are just too busy. Any lingering awkwardness from the morning must be put on the back burner.
Janice knows that Beth doesn't realize what she was doing on the couch that morning, and that the awkwardness between them would be ten-fold if she did. She is still very embarrassed and ashamed by her own behaviour. It's not like she's some horny teenager who thinks about sex all the time. She knows Beth is being distant because she's not used to being vulnerable in front of people. She's had to be strong on her own for so long, and now that she has people to lean on, Janice knows it is hard for her in some ways.
Jack ends up having to leave partway through the day, and Janice assumes that Beth will ask her to stay over for the next couple of nights, since it is unlikely that Ben will be able to stay with her either. The prospect of staying over again so soon leaves Janice both excited and nervous.
"So do you want me to head over soon?" Janice pokes her head into her boss' office late in the day.
Beth glances up from her laptop, looking tired and distracted. She gives Janice a small smile. "Actually, no, it's okay. I appreciate all your help, Janice, but I think I'll be alright on my own for the next couple of nights. I'll get in touch with you if I need anything." She regards Janice for a moment. "Why don't you take the next couple of nights to get some rest and then come back on Wednesday, which would be your usual night." She looks a bit sheepish for a moment. "I know you haven't been getting a lot of sleep at my place."
Janice starts to protest, but Beth cuts her off with a firm look. "Go home. Get some rest. I'll be fine."
"But what if you have a nightmare?" Janice asks, and then wishes she could take the question back when her boss gives her a hard stare.
"I'll be fine," Beth repeats sternly. "As I said, I'll get in touch with you if I need to."
"Oh. Well, okay. Have a good night then. See you tomorrow." Janice backs out of the office and heads to her desk to start packing up her briefcase. To her horror, she feels her eyes welling with tears, and she blinks them back quickly before any can fall. She hasn't expected to feel so rejected. As she walks toward the elevators, her shoulders slumped, she can feel Beth's eyes on her.
When Janice gets down to her car, she takes her usual route toward home, but then suddenly veers in the opposite direction. She is bone tired and knows she should just go home and have a quiet evening, but she ends up at a gay bar that she has visited a few times before. Although Janice generally prefers men, she is no stranger to relationships with women.
At the bar, she downs a few shots in quick succession and sighs in contentment as she feels the alcohol settling in her system. The bar isn't busy at this hour but things start to pick up as it gets later in the evening.
When a beautiful, petite, dark haired woman sits down beside Janice and smiles at her, she knows she's not going home alone.
xxx
When Janice wakes up the next morning with a blinding headache and a small, raven haired woman sprawled out on the bed next to her, she mistakenly thinks that Beth has spent the night at her place. It takes her a moment to remember the events of the night before, and she groans softly before sliding out of bed and padding naked into the bathroom to throw up.
After a long, hot shower, she returns to her room to find that the other woman has left, and she sighs in relief. She is not in the mood for another awkward morning.
Janice shows up at work in oversize sunglasses, smothering a giant yawn with her hand. Neither Jack or Ben are here today, which means more work than usual.
Beth comes out of her office, regarding her suspiciously. "Are you getting sick again?"
Janice shakes her head, immediately regretting the action, as the room tilts slightly. "Nope, I'm just fine."
Beth raises an eyebrow, looking like she wants to say something and then thinking better of it. "Good. I need you in tip top shape today, Janice. Jack and Ben are both out sick and we have a lot to do."
"No problem." Janice musters a smile. "How did it go on your own last night? Everything good?"
"Everything was fine," Beth answers, but her gaze slides away at the last second.
Janice nods slowly. "Glad to hear it."
Beth clears her throat. "Alright, we have a lot to do. Let's get started."
Janice somehow makes it through the day, only sneaking off to the bathroom once to vomit. By the time it's time to head home, she is actually feeling better. Being so wrapped up in work has taken her mind off of everything else, and despite the awkwardness between them, she and Beth make a kick-ass professional team.
She doesn't stick around at the end of the day. She just wishes Beth a good night and heads out. She must be a glutton for punishment because she finds herself driving toward the bar again, instead of her apartment. This time she doesn't drink nearly as much, but she does take the same dark haired woman from the night before home with her again.
xxx
Janice is sound asleep when her phone suddenly rings at two o'clock in the morning. Startled, she knocks over a bottle of water on the nightstand as she reaches for it. The name on the screen says "Beth Davis" and her heart is suddenly in her throat.
"Hello?" she whispers, aware that her companion from the evening is snoring beside her. "Beth? What's wrong?"
"Janice." Beth's voice is small and quivering. "I know it's late. Sorry to bother you."
"You're not bothering me" Janice says. She is instantly alert, all traces of sleep disappearing. As she talks, she is already moving; struggling to pull on a pair of yoga pants, the phone tucked between her neck and shoulder. "What's going on?"
She hears hesitation in Beth's voice. "Look, I know I said I'd be okay on my own, but-"
"I'll be right there," Janice interrupts her, dragging a sweatshirt out of her closet.
"Thank you," Beth says softly.
"See you soon, Beth." Janice's heart clenches as she hangs up the phone. She is dressed now and gathering up her briefcase and clothes she'll need for work in a few hours.
Just as she's about to run out the door, she turns to the bed, realizing she still has company. The woman curled up in her sheets is still dead to the world.
"Hey," Janice snaps, her voice coming out harsher than she intends. "Mary, Marly, or whatever your name is, you need to go."
"It's Molly," the other woman mumbles, her voice slurred with sleep. "It's the middle of the fucking night. What gives?"
"None of your fucking business," Janice snarls. "Get out of my house. I need to leave. Now."
The other woman drags herself from the bed, cursing and stumbling around naked, trying to find her clothes. Janice feels a pang of remorse for how she's treating her. They'd had a fun couple of nights and the sex had been great, but her priority is Beth and she needs to get to her.
After Molly finally leaves, calling Janice every curse word she's ever heard, she makes it to Beth's house in record time. Her boss is waiting for her and has the front door open before she reaches the porch.
"Hey," Janice says softly, looking her up and down carefully. Beth looks fragile, frail even. She's wearing pajama shorts and a tank top and has her arms wrapped around herself like she's cold. Her eyes are red and puffy and her hair is mussed from sleep. Janice thinks she looks beautiful.
"Thank you for coming." Beth holds the door open for her and Janice steps inside, setting her things down in the hallway.
"Are you okay?" Janice asks, reaching out to run her hand down Beth's upper arm. She can feel goosebumps.
Beth shakes her head and covers her eyes with her hands. Janice takes a step forward and wraps her arms around the smaller woman. Beth seems to melt into her embrace and she rests her head on Janice's shoulder.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Janice murmurs. She feels Beth nod into her shoulder.
"I thought Perry and Ray were in my room. Then when I figured out it was just a bad dream, I went out to the living room to find you." Beth looks up at Janice and blushes. "I forgot that I told you not to come."
"Well, I'm here now." Janice hugs her tightly again and steps back, taking her hand. "Come on. I'll walk you back to your room and then I'll get set up on the couch."
"Do you think-" Beth pauses. "Do you think you'd mind sleeping in my bed with me tonight? It's a queen. A lot bigger and more comfortable than the couch." She chuckles hollowly.
"Sounds like a plan." Janice smiles at her, her heart leaping for joy, as they head down the hall to Beth's room, still hand in hand.
They get into bed and settle under the covers, Beth reaching over to turn off the lamp on the nightstand. Janice lays her head down on the soft pillow and burrows into the silky sheets. She is used to sleeping in very close quarters on the couch, and now Beth seems very far away.
Beth seems to feel the same way because Janice feels her creep a little closer under the covers. Janice turns onto her side, facing the other woman. Beth is barely visible in the darkness but she can tell that her boss is facing her too.
Beth clears her throat and Janice's ears prick up. "Janice, would you mind staying with me for the rest of the week?" she whispers. "Ben and Jack are still sick and I don't want to bother them. And to be honest-" She hesitates for a moment and Janice waits patiently for her to continue.
"To be honest, I would prefer to have you here anyway. I feel safe with you. I feel safer with you than anyone else." Another pause and Janice thinks she's going to say more, but then she is quiet.
"Of course I'll stay with you," she replies, her heart soaring with joy. "I can pick up some more of my things after work tomorrow and bring them over. I'm glad you feel safe with me, Beth. If you don't want me to leave until Perry and Ray are brought to justice, then I won't."
"Thank you." Beth's voice is thick. "I'm lucky to have a friend like you, Janice." She catches herself and smiles. "And I shouldn't have said we weren't friends before. I was just upset."
Janice smiles too. "It's okay. I know things have been rough. I'm glad we're friends, Beth."
"The only other close friend I have is Tracy. I'm just not used to having people around who actually care."
Janice locates Beth's hand under the covers and gives it a squeeze. "Well, you better get used to it. We're not going anywhere, especially me."
Beth squeezes back and then links their fingers together. "Goodnight, Janice."
"Goodnight, Beth."
xxx
They fall into a routine for the next several days. Janice packs a suitcase to bring over to Beth's, and they spend every waking hour (and every sleeping one) together. They have coffee and toast in the mornings, continue to take their separate cars to work in case they need them throughout the day, work diligently on their cases with Jack and Ben when they are well enough to return to the office, and go home to Beth's in the evening.
Janice starts experimenting with cooking some new dishes, and they find that the task of making dinner together in the evenings is fun and challenging and takes their minds off their cases and where Perry and Ray are and what they might be doing. After dinner they sit in the living room together and watch movies or read or catch up on work. There is an unspoken agreement that they will both share Beth's bed during the night.
Janice finds that she settles into the routine quickly and an odd sort of happiness fills her as she and her boss spend their days together. Beth hasn't had a nightmare since Janice has temporarily moved in, so she has been sleeping through the night, and so has Janice.
Beth had explained to Jack and Ben on their return to work what the new arrangements would be. Janice had listened quietly and couldn't help but notice their expressions while Beth spoke. She had inwardly smirked because Ben had looked relieved and then tried not to show it, and Jack had looked jealous and had protested, just as Janice had been expecting. Beth had gone on to explain that this situation was temporary until they were feeling one hundred percent again, and then they would likely go back to the usual routine.
Janice secretly hopes that things stay the way they are until Ray and Perry are caught. She and Beth work and play well together, and everything has been more stable the past few days.
xxx
On Saturday, four nights after Beth's middle-of-the-night phone call to Janice, they decided to invite Jack and Ben over for a barbecue. The sun is shining and it's a beautiful day. Both women are in high spirits. They sleep in in the morning, go jogging together, and make breakfast. After breakfast they get cleaned up and then head out to a nearby farmer's market to pick up some salads for lunch and an assortment of food for dinner. They stock up on beer and wine before heading back to the house. They have lunch on Beth's patio and spend the afternoon soaking up the sun, laughing and joking and sharing silly stories from their youth.
Janice is in domestic bliss and she is stunned by how much she has been enjoying herself. Playing house with someone else is definitely not her thing, but it's different with Beth. And Beth, on her part, seems just as happy with the arrangement.
They spend a very pleasant evening with Jack and Ben, barbecuing steaks on the patio and consuming copious amounts of alcohol. By the time they stumble inside to put on a movie, all four of them are more than a little tipsy. Beth finds a comedy that has just been released on Netflix, but none of them seem too interested, and they talk and laugh loudly while the movie plays.
Janice is in the middle of telling Ben a story from her college days, while Beth and Jack joke loudly about something, when she feels her phone buzzing in her pocket. The number is an unfamiliar one. "Hello?" she says, and Ben guffaws as she almost loses her footing while getting off the couch. It takes a moment to place the voice and remember the name, but she realizes it is Molly, the Beth look-a-like she had picked up at the bar.
A red blush creeps up her neck and into her face as she feels the others watching her. She locks eyes with Beth for a moment and looks away. If this was any other booty call, she wouldn't be embarrassed, but she had specifically picked up a woman that shared a lot of the same physical attributes as her boss.
She turns away from the prying eyes of her co-workers and heads into the kitchen to whisper to Molly that she isn't available tonight. Molly snarks for a few minutes about how Janice treated her the other night, and Janice apologizes several times before they end the conversation and hang up.
When she returns to the living room, all is silent and there are three sets of eyes on her. "What?" she says, irritated.
"Who's Molly?" Ben asks innocently.
Janice raises her eyebrows. "Who?"
Jack chuckles. "You don't talk as quietly as you think you do. What did you do to this Molly person? You must have apologized to her a million times."
"Nothing," Janice mutters, sitting down beside Ben again and taking a swig of beer. "Just drop it."
"I heard you talking about Tuesday night. What happened Tuesday night?" Jack continues on as if she hasn't spoken, and Janice's spark of irritation grows into anger. Jack can really be an ass when he's been drinking.
She looks across the room to see Beth staring at her in silence. Her expression is flat.
"Hey, I didn't know you swung both ways, Janice," Ben jokes, elbowing her in the ribs.
Janice downs the rest of her beer and stands up. "I didn't think it mattered."
"Hey, hey, it doesn't," Ben assures her, taking her hand and pulling her back down onto the couch. "We're just being stupid."
"Well, I think I'm going to head to bed," Beth says abruptly, getting to her feet.
The guys look up at her in surprise, but Janice keeps her eyes fixed on the floor.
"Aww, it's still early," Jack protests, even though it's nearly one o'clock in the morning. "Just have one more beer."
"No, I'm done for the night," Beth says with a tight smile. "You guys stay as long as you want. Stay overnight, if you need to. No drinking and driving."
She leaves the room and Janice suddenly feels choked up, although she isn't quite sure why. She swallows her emotions down and flashes Jack and Ben a big grin. "Okay, guys, who wants to play poker?"
xxx
It is three o'clock in the morning by the time Janice creeps into Beth's room. Jack is passed out on the couch and Ben is splayed awkwardly in one of the armchairs in the living room. She is starting to sober up a bit and is feeling exhausted and cranky. Beth is curled up in a ball under the covers, snoring lightly, and Janice watches her for a moment, tears pricking her eyes. She is pretty sure by now that she is in love with this woman. This realization makes the tears spill over and she quickly ducks into the bathroom.
She stands there for a moment, tears streaming down her face. She feels hot and sweaty from a day spent in the sun and from the rowdy, table-pounding card tournament she'd had with the guys. She had spilled beer on her T-shirt at some point during the evening, and she tugs it off, tossing it to the floor. She yanks off her shorts and bra and panties and stands there naked, hoping Beth won't mind if she takes a shower. She doesn't want to use the guest bathroom and risk running into one of the guys.
She turns on the shower and then climbs into the stall, stumbling a bit and bracing herself against the tile wall. She doesn't warm up the water much. She wants to cool down and sober up a little more before sharing a bed with Beth.
She wonders what had been going through her boss' mind when she'd overheard the phone call. If she felt guilty for interrupting Janice's night, there was definitely no need for that. She'd much rather spend time with Beth anyway. Was she angry that Janice hadn't told her she was with company when she'd called?
A thought crosses Janice's mind and she frowns. Did Beth not approve of her sleeping with women? In the years she had worked under her, they'd never mentioned dating, as their relationship hadn't veered into a personal aspect. Beth doesn't strike Janice as someone who cares about that kind of thing, though. Any time they'd had homosexual clients, Beth hadn't batted an eye. But Janice isn't sure if that is professional courtesy or the way she feels in general.
Her feelings for her boss have exploded lately and her worry over what Perry and Ray might do to her if they catch her is overwhelming at times. The tears continue down her cheeks unabated, and Janice wishes she hadn't drank so much. Alcohol and strong emotions don't mix.
A sob escapes her throat, and she claps a hand over her mouth, sliding down onto the floor. She doesn't want to wake up Beth. She buries her head against her knees as the pent up emotions of the past few weeks come bubbling out. She cries as quietly as she can for several minutes before curling up in the corner of the shower stall and resting her head against the wall. She closes her eyes, vowing to rest for just a moment before getting out, drying off, and going to bed. She is suddenly exhausted.
xxx
"Janice? Janice! Oh my god, wake up!"
"Hmm? Wha..." Janice struggles to open her eyes. She is shivering violently and there are small but strong hands gripping her upper arms.
"Janice, what happened? Are you okay?" It's Beth's voice and she sounds absolutely frantic. "Janice, talk to me now or I'm calling the guys in here! Open your eyes, damn it!"
Janice cracks one eye open, extremely confused. Realization seeps in slowly, followed by complete and utter horror. She must have fallen asleep on the floor of Beth's shower stall. She is still curled up in the corner, soaked to the bone and shaking. Her short strawberry blonde hair is plastered to her skull. The shower head is dripping water and looks like it has just been turned off.
Her mortification increases when she realizes that she is completely nude, as one usually is when taking a shower, and that Beth is actually in the stall with her, crouched down in front of her, her face as anxious as Janice has ever seen it.
"Sorry," Janice murmurs, realizing she is still a bit drunk. "I was feeling really hot and sweaty so I came in here to take a shower before bed and I must have fallen asleep."
"But how did you end up on the floor? Did you fall? Did you pass out?" Janice feels Beth tilting her head forward to check for injuries.
"No," she replies groggily. "I sat down here."
"Why?" Beth turns Janice's head toward her so they are looking at each other. Janice's heart aches when she sees how worried and upset the other woman looks.
"I was just-I just needed some time. I didn't want to wake you up." Janice is still shivering and she lets out an involuntary whimper. Her body hurts from sitting on the floor for so long and she is so cold. And worse yet, she feels like she's not done crying.
"Okay. It's okay. Let's get you out of here, honey." Beth is gently stroking her wet hair back from her face, and Janice feels tears well up in her eyes. She covers her face with her hands and starts to cry.
Beth grabs a towel off the rack and sits down on the soaking wet tile next to Janice. She pulls Janice against her, wrapping the towel around her, and rocking them back and forth gently. "What's wrong, honey? What's going on?"
Janice weeps into Beth's shoulder, and she feels the other woman wiping the tears from her cheeks. "You're mad at me," she sobs. "I just want to protect you and now I've screwed everything up. I'm sorry."
"Janice, I'm not mad at you," Beth soothes, pressing a kiss to her wet hair. "You are protecting me and you didn't screw anything up. I think you're still a little bit drunk and you need to get some sleep."
"But I-" Janice cuts herself off before she can continue, realizing she was about to blurt out her big secret. Oh man, she really needs to sober up.
"You what?" Beth asks softly.
"Nothing," Janice murmurs, lowering her head, the tears coming faster. She can't seem to pull herself together.
Beth hugs her more tightly. "Everything is going to be okay, I promise."
"Do you want me to go home?" Janice chokes out, dreading the answer.
"What? No, of course not. What I want is for you to be warm and cozy in bed, instead of freezing and shivering on the floor of my shower stall," Beth says gently. "Does that sound like a good plan?"
"Yeah, that sounds good." Janice's voice quivers.
"Okay. Do you think you can stand up?"
"Beth, I'm naked."
Beth's answering chuckle is like music to Janice's ears. "I know. It's okay, it doesn't bother me."
"I'm sorry if I ruined your night."
"You didn't ruin anything," Beth assures her. "You've been taking such good care of me over the past few weeks. Now let me repay the favour and take care of you."
Janice finds it hard to argue with that. Although she is still embarrassed, it feels good to be taken care of. It's not like it happens often.
Beth pulls a smaller towel from the rack and dries Janice's hair off as best she can, squeezing all the moisture out. "Okay, can you try to stand up? I'll help you."
They put their arms around each other again, and Beth carefully hoists Janice to her feet, making sure the towel is still wrapped securely around her. They step out of the shower stall together and Beth slowly lowers Janice down to sit on the closed lid of the toilet. She towels off Janice's hair again and gently wipes her face.
"I'm going to bring some pajamas in here and get you dressed. Are you okay to sit here for a minute?" Beth is crouched down on the floor, her hands on Janice's knees.
Janice nods, feeling dizzy. "Yeah, I guess that's alright, but I usually sleep naked." The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them. She stares at the floor, wishing she had a little more control over herself.
Beth just smiles, gives her knees a squeeze, and stands up to go into the bedroom. She returns a moment later with a sweatshirt and yoga pants. "Why don't you start off wearing these, since you're so cold right now?"
"Okay," Janice whispers.
"Alright, here we go." Beth removes the towel from around Janice's shoulders and dries her body off quickly and efficiently.
Janice sits there silently, willing herself not to react. Beth gently helps her get dressed, and Janice is relieved when she's fully clothed again. Beth leads her into the bedroom and helps her get situated under the covers, before turning away to change out of her wet pajamas and into something dry. Then she climbs into bed next to Janice.
She reaches out to grasp Janice's ice cold hand. "Are you doing okay?"
"I think so." Janice snuggles deeper into the covers, finally starting to warm up. "Thanks for taking care of me. Sorry you had to see me naked."
Beth smirks. "I've seen worse."
Janice smiles and moves closer to the other woman. Beth gently strokes her damp hair, and she drifts off to sleep.
xxx
The next morning is rough. Janice wakes up alone in the bed, and figures out why when she sees that it's almost noon. She smells the heavenly aroma of coffee, but then her stomach lurches and she stumbles out of bed and into the bathroom, falling to her knees in front of the toilet and vomiting three times in quick succession. She groans. Beth is never going to let her back into this bathroom again.
When she stands up and catches sight of herself in the mirror, she winces. She is completely white, her face leached of all color, her short hair standing out at odd angles around her head. She decides that another shower is in order and this time vows not to fall asleep in the stall.
When Janice is dressed in comfortable shorts and a T-shirt, her hair clean and brushed, she decides this is as presentable as she's going to get, and heads into the kitchen. Beth is sitting alone at the table, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper. There is no sign of Jack or Ben, but Janice notices a lot of empty beer and wine bottles lined up along the kitchen counter.
Embarrassment and shame wash over her as she stands there, regarding her boss in silence. The last thing Beth needed was her getting drunk and flipping out during the night. Why couldn't she have held it together a little better?
Beth catches sight of her and smiles warmly. "Hey, how're you doing? Feeling any better?"
Janice sees no judgment whatsoever on the other woman's face, and she takes a tentative step toward the table. "I'm feeling a bit rough," she says honestly. "I'm really sorry for my behaviour, Beth. Maybe I should pack up my stuff and head home today."
Beth gets up from her chair and stands in front of her, reaching out to squeeze her forearm. "You can if you want, of course, but you don't have to. I like having you here, Janice. I have to go out this afternoon to run some errands, but you're welcome to hang out here and relax."
It sounds tempting to Janice, much better than packing everything up and going home alone to her empty apartment. And she can't even admit to herself how much she loves living with Beth. "Okay, sure, that sounds good." She looks around the kitchen and living room, otherwise empty, except for the two of them. "Did the guys leave?"
"Yeah, Jack was getting ready to go when I got out of bed. He had a brunch date with Amanda and Ethan." Beth smirks. "He looked like he'd been run over by a truck, so I'm not sure how well it went."
Janice chuckles, a part of her perversely glad that Jack is in just as bad a shape as she is.
"Ben stayed for awhile. We had breakfast on the patio. He just left a little while ago. Do you want me to make you something?"
"Oh, thanks, but I'm good," Janice replies, her stomach turning over at the thought of food. "I'm just going to sip on some water for now, and I might graduate to coffee a bit later if I'm feeling up to it."
Beth smiles. "Okay, I'm going to head out for a bit. Just relax while I'm gone."
After she leaves, Janice heads out to the patio and flops down in a lounge chair. It is overcast today and threatening to rain, so she stays under the covered portion. She curls into a ball and closes her eyes, wishing she had brought a blanket out with her.
xxx
"Hey there, pretty lady."
Janice's eyes fly open. Perry is sitting at the end of her lounge chair, stroking a finger up and down her bare thigh. She gasps, bolting upright, and looks around wildly for her gun, but it's on one of the nightstands in Beth's bedroom.
"Calm down, Janice," Perry says evenly. "We're not here for you. We're here for her." He jerks a thumb toward the kitchen door. Ray walks out onto the patio, one arm around a stumbling, terrified Beth, and the other holding a gun to her head.
"No," Janice moans, reaching out for the smaller woman.
"Yes," Perry grins. "Just sit back and let us take care of things, Janice. You don't have to babysit Beth anymore. We'll take it from here." He stands up and joins Ray and Beth at the door. "Say goodbye, Janice."
"No! Beth!" she screams, struggling to get off the chair.
"Janice, help me!" Perry and Ray are dragging Beth away and Janice tries frantically to get out of the chair, but she can't move. Why can't she move?
"Beth! Beth!"
"Janice, it's okay. I'm right here, I'm right here."
"Huh?" Janice opens her eyes to see Beth standing over her, holding a blanket. She is still lying in the lounge chair on the patio, and a light rain falls in the backyard.
"Hey, it's okay," Beth says softly, covering her with the blanket and then sitting down beside her on the chair. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"Yeah, I guess so." Janice stills feels disoriented. "Ray and Perry were here and they had you. I couldn't help you, I couldn't move."
"I'm fine, they're not here. It was just a dream." Beth is smoothing a hand over her hair. "You're shaking, Janice. Are you okay?"
Janice starts to nod her head and then changes her mind. "No," she whispers brokenly.
Beth climbs under the blanket, turning onto her side like Janice is, and spoons her from behind. A tear slips down Janice's cheek and she turns around in Beth's embrace, burying her head in the other woman's neck. They hold each other tightly under the blanket, and Beth strokes Janice's hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Janice closes her eyes, savouring the feeling of being held. She's usually the one doing the comforting and it feels so good for someone else to be comforting her, especially when that someone is Beth.
"I'm sorry I've been putting so much pressure on you lately," Beth whispers. "I know things have been tough. If all this is too much for you, please let me know."
"No, it's not too much," Janice insists, tightening her grip on the other woman. "I'm just having a rough couple of days. I'll pull it together. I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Beth squeezes the nape of Janice's neck gently and runs her nails lightly down her back.
Janice closes her eyes, a sigh escaping her lips before she can stop it. It feels so good to be wrapped up in Beth's arms under the warm blanket, listening to the falling rain. Beth continues to trail her fingers around Janice's back soothingly, creating patterns on the fabric of her tank top. She feels pleasant tingles from her head to her toes.
Before she even realizes what she's doing, Janice begins rubbing Beth's back as well. They lay there silently, wrapped up in each other's arms, the rain the only sound that can be heard. This is the most peaceful and comfortable Janice has felt for weeks, and she thinks Beth feels the same.
"Who's Molly?" Beth suddenly murmurs, breaking the silence.
Janice tenses in her arms, and Beth gently combs her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
Janice's heart begins to beat faster and she wills herself to stay calm. "She's a woman I met at a bar," she answers honestly. "We've seen each other a couple of times."
"Were you with her on Tuesday night?" Beth asks the question quietly, and Janice frowns at the vulnerability in her voice. The other woman sounds sad. She resists the urge to sit up in the chair and pull Beth into her lap to hold her. She just wants to hug away all her hurt.
"Yes," Janice answers softly. "We were in bed when you called."
She feels Beth sigh against her. "Janice, this is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't want you to give up your personal life because of my problems. And I don't want Jack and Ben to give up theirs either."
"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Janice says, feeling a spike of irritation. "You called me because you had a nightmare and were scared. Was I supposed to say 'No, I can't come because there's a hot woman in my bed'? I told you before that there's no place I'd rather be, and I meant it."
"But it's not fair to you," Beth whispers. "You deserve to have a life."
"It's not like this is going to go on forever," Janice responds, and her heart clenches. "Ray and Perry will be caught eventually and we'll all return to our normal lives. But Beth, when you say I deserve to have a life, you are a part of my life." She tightens her hold on the smaller woman.
Beth is silent for a moment, and when she speaks, her voice sounds choked. "Thank you, Janice. I'm sorry you thought I was upset with you last night. I'm so sorry you were crying in the shower in the middle of the night. I feel awful about that. It's just that when I heard you talking to this Molly person, I was-"
"You were what?" Janice whispers, curious.
"I was-" Beth hesitates again. "I was jealous."
Janice is completely stunned and doesn't know how to respond. She feels hope bloom within her and tries to push it down. As she has gotten older, any rejection in her life has rolled right off her back. She had learned at a young age how to deal with it. This is different, though. She has never felt this way about anyone before. She needs to try to keep her feelings neutral until she knows exactly what Beth means.
"I'm just so used to having you here now," Beth continues. "I guess I'm being a little possessive. I shouldn't be acting that way with anyone, especially someone who works for me. But things have changed a lot in the past few weeks. You're not just an employee anymore."
Janice holds her breath.
"You're a friend. A really good friend." Beth leans her head back to smile up at her. "You're one of the best friends I've ever had."
Janice smiles back, even though her heart is aching. But a best friend is better than nothing and she should be happy with that. "You can be as possessive as you want to be," she assures the other woman. "Right now you're my number one priority."
"Thank you," Beth murmurs, a slight smile still on her face. "Are you and Molly dating? Sorry if I'm getting too personal."
"It's okay," Janice says. "No, we're not dating. We've just, uh, well...you know...a couple of times." She pauses. "I get lonely sometimes."
Beth pulls Janice closer to her again and resumes rubbing her back in slow, soft circles. "I understand," she whispers. "I'm lonely all the time."
"Oh, Beth." Janice can't help herself and leans up to kiss the other woman's cheek. "I'm sorry, honey."
Beth smiles sadly and resumes her massage of Janice's back. Janice closes her eyes again and strokes the long strands of dark hair tumbling over Beth's shoulders.
"Does it help with the loneliness?" Beth asks softly. "Going to the bars and clubs?"
Janice shrugs and chuckles. "No, not really, I guess. Sometimes it's just nice not to be alone at night. And sometimes I just need...the release."
Beth laughs lightly. "Yeah, I know what you mean."
Janice quirks an eyebrow, her hand stilling on the other woman's back. "Do you?"
"Yes, Janice," Beth answers dryly. "I am an adult woman with needs, just like everyone else."
Janice blushes. "Sorry, I didn't mean-"
"It's okay," Beth says gently. "I know everyone thinks of me as a loner. Aside from Tracy, I haven't really been close to anyone since my family died. But there have been some guys now and then."
Janice nods. "Well, we all need someone sometimes, right?"
"We definitely do," Beth whispers.
They are silent again, just holding onto each other and listening to the rain. It is very peaceful until lightning streaks across the sky, followed by a loud crack of thunder. Beth jumps in Janice's embrace and lets out a whimper.
"Hey, it's okay." Janice tightens her arms around her for a moment before reluctantly releasing her. "Looks like a storm's moving in. We should head inside."
They go into the house and decide to clean up the bottles and dishes from last night's get together and this morning's breakfast. Janice can't help but notice how uneasy Beth has become.
"Are you alright?" she asked with concern, as she loads plates into the dishwasher.
"Yeah," Beth replies sheepishly. "I just don't like storms."
"Well, let's just stay busy, to keep your mind off of it," Janice says with a soft smile.
They prepare salmon, scalloped potatoes, and asparagus for dinner. Afterwards, they find a chick flick on Netflix to watch, but by that point Janice isn't sure the power will stay on long enough for them to get through the movie. The storm is raging outside. Rain lashes the windows angrily and lightning flashes almost constantly, followed by deafening booms of thunder.
They sit on the couch together under the same blanket. Janice is more focused on Beth than the movie. She can tell the other woman is very anxious but is trying not to show it.
After yet another ear splitting crash of thunder, Beth pauses the movie and suggests that they just give up and watch the rest another time. Janice agrees and opens up her laptop to do a quick check on one of their open cases, while Beth heads back to her bedroom to get ready for bed.
There is a crack of thunder so loud it sounds like a bomb being dropped on the house, and Janice almost leaps off the couch. She has to catch her laptop before it slides off her knees and crashes to the floor. The lights flicker for a second and then go out, plunging the house into darkness.
"Shit," Janice mutters, getting off the couch and gingerly placing her laptop on the coffee table. They should have gotten candles out in anticipation of a power outage. She knows Beth keeps a flashlight in one of kitchen drawers, so she walks slowly into the other room in search of it.
"Beth?" she calls out. "You okay?" She rummages around in a couple of drawers before locating the flashlight and switching it on. The only sound she hears is the rolling thunder. "Beth?" she tries again. "I'm coming back with the flashlight. Can you tell me where the candles are?"
There is no answer from her boss and Janice wonders if she simply can't hear her over all the noise. She heads slowly down the hallway, one hand on the wall, the other pointing the flashlight towards Beth's bedroom.
"Beth? Are you alright?" Janice begins to feel uneasy when there is still no answer, and she quickens her pace, trying not to bump into anything.
She reaches the bedroom, pointing the flashlight in all directions, but she can't locate the other woman. Her heart is in her throat as she hurries toward the bathroom. What if tonight is the night that Ray and Perry finally make their move?
"Beth!" she yells frantically, and then stops short. Beth is sitting on the bathroom floor, her knees pulled up to her chest, her arms wrapped around her legs, her head on her knees. She is rocking back and forth slightly.
"Hey, there." Janice hurries toward her and crouches down in front of her. She aims the flashlight slightly to the right of the other woman so it's not blinding, and Janice is pretty sure Beth is naked, from what she is able to see.
"What's going on? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Janice has one hand on Beth's shoulder and the other on her head. She has a flashback to the night before, when they were in this bathroom, only now the situation is reversed.
Beth is breathing very quickly and Janice wonders if she can't catch her breath long enough to answer. She seems close to hyperventilating.
"Hey, I think you're having a panic attack," Janice says gently, sitting down close beside her and putting a hand on her bare back. She can feel Beth's ribs. "I'm sure the storm will be over soon. We can just light some candles so it's not quite so dark in here."
"I can't-I can't breathe," Beth gasps, grasping onto the front of Janice's T-shirt. "Please help me."
"Shhh, it's okay, sweetie." Janice gathers Beth into her arms and hugs her close, despite her nudity. She figures the other woman was about to get changed into her pajamas when the power went out and she got spooked. Her boss seems to be becoming more and more fragile, the longer they go without locating Perry and Ray.
Another crash of thunder shakes the house and Beth whimpers, burying her face in Janice's neck. "It's so dark in here," she moans.
"How about you tell me where the candles are?" Janice suggests gently, smoothing her hand down Beth's glossy mane of hair. "I can get them set up while you finish changing."
"No!" Beth shrieks, her arms locked around Janice's ribs. "Don't leave me."
"Okay. It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." Beth is trembling violently and Janice can feel goosebumps across her back and arms. Her skin feels ice cold.
Janice makes a split second decision and wraps one arm around Beth's back and hooks another under her knees. The other woman probably weighs about one hundred pounds soaking wet, but Janice still staggers a little as she lifts her off the ground and finds her footing. She is not that big herself but is thankful that she is in excellent shape.
She expects Beth to protest at being carried like a baby, especially while not wearing any clothes, but she simply curls into Janice, laying her head on her chest. Janice tries to deposit Beth gently on the bed, but the other woman has her arms locked around her ribs again, so she sits down on the bed with Beth in her lap. She pulls the covers up over them and rocks her back and forth soothingly.
The flashlight is still on the floor of the bathroom, so it is pitch dark in Beth's room, except when lightning streaks across the sky and it's brighter than a sunny afternoon at the beach. Janice strokes Beth's hair back from her face, trying to get a glimpse of her expression each time the lightning flashes. Beth's eyes are closed, her head tucked underneath Janice's chin. She is still shaking and Janice rubs her hands up and down her arms and back, trying to get some warmth back into her skin.
The storm rages on outside, showing no signs of stopping. Every time the lightning flashes, Janice can see the trees in Beth's backyard whipping back and forth. She wonders how long this is going to last, and if the other woman is going to be practically catatonic until this is over.
The situation seems to be spiraling out of control and Janice isn't exactly sure how to handle things. She is beyond worried about Beth. And if she is being perfectly honest with herself, having the woman she is pretty sure she is in love with, cuddled up naked in her lap, is doing nothing for the hormones that have been raging through her lately. She is angry with herself for even thinking of such things while her boss is going through such a hard time.
"Hey, how are you doing?" she asks softly, stroking a finger down Beth's cheek.
"A little better," Beth whispers, and Janice is relieved.
"Do you think we should get up and find some candles?" Janice asks, but her arms tighten reflexively around the smaller woman as the words leave her mouth. She has never felt so protective over another human being in her entire life. And Beth is finally starting to feel warm in her embrace. It is cozy and comfortable under the covers.
Beth shakes her head. "Can you just hold me a little longer?"
"Of course," Janice murmurs, rocking her back and forth again. "I'll hold you for as long as you want."
"Thank you," Beth whispers, her lips brushing Janice's neck.
Janice isn't sure if it's intentional or not, but she can't suppress the shiver that runs through her. Beth's arms are still locked around her, and she can feel the other woman's thumb brushing lightly back and forth along her T-shirt clad ribs. Janice's fingers have been tracing designs on Beth's bare back without her fully realizing it.
"Are you okay?" Beth asks softly. " I just felt you shiver. I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. I can move-" She stiffens in Janice's embrace as another crack of thunder shakes the house.
Janice feels her start to tremble again. "No, you don't have to move," she assures her. "You're not making me uncomfortable. It's okay, Beth." She can feel the other woman's heart rate pick up again. "You're safe here. You're safe with me."
"I'm so embarrassed." Beth's voice is small. "I should at least be wearing clothes if I'm going to sit on your lap during a thunderstorm. I'm just too scared to move."
"Here." Before Beth can protest, Janice leans away from her, pulls off her tank top, and lowers it over her boss' head, helping her pull her arms through. She's already in a more intimate position with Beth than she has ever been with anyone else, so she figures she might as well take it all the way. The moments she has shared with this woman over the past few weeks are somehow way more intimate than anything she has shared with Jack or Molly or any other person she's had sex with. "Is that better?" she asks gently.
Beth bursts into tears.
"Oh, Beth." Janice can't help it and starts crying as well. The overwhelming stress of the past few weeks is threatening to drown them both. And adding to Janice's stress is her newly discovered feelings for her boss. She has the strange sensation of being pulled in both directions. She loves living with Beth and being there with her all day, everyday, but she just wants this nightmare to be over for her. The other woman is deteriorating before her eyes.
They hold each other and cry together for several minutes, Janice silently and Beth with great gulping sobs. The storm rages on outside, drowning out her cries. Janice thinks this would be the worst night ever for Ray and Perry to strike because they wouldn't even hear them try to break in, the storm is so loud. She pulls the covers more securely around them and cuddles Beth even closer to her, if that's possible.
"Beth," she says softly into her ear. "Why do you hate storms so much?"
Beth is quiet for a moment before speaking. "It was storming the night my family was killed. I was away at college in another state. I was pulled out of one of my courses and taken to the dean's office, where they broke the news. I remember sitting there, soaked to the bone and shivering, because it had been quite a walk between buildings." As Beth speaks about the past, the storm taking place in the present finally begins to dissipate. "Every time it storms it reminds me of that night. It reminds me that I couldn't save them, that I should have been there." Her head is resting against Janice's collarbone and she can feel the tears running down her bare skin.
"Beth, it's not your fault," she says softly, her hand stroking the other woman's hair. "You couldn't have known what Ray was going to do. You were just a kid."
"But I knew something was off," Beth protests. "I knew that he scared me. He was part of the reason I left. It was such a relief to be away from him, to be free of his obsessive personality, his constant need to control me and everything in my life." She pauses. "After it happened, I completely fell apart. I left college and prepared for the trail against Ray. When he was put away, I went into hiding and changed my name. I didn't have a lot of family and not a lot of friends by that point, so it was easy to disappear. I drifted aimlessly for awhile, not sure what to do with my life. I was so sad, so directionless. For the first time, I was all alone. I became fixated on Ray and what he had done and how I hadn't seen it coming, so when I finally got myself together and pulled myself out of the black hole of despair I had fallen into, I had a one-track mind. To bring justice to other people who had been through what I had been through. And to try to stop people like Ray before these horrible things happened. I went back to college and changed majors and was on the fast track from there. School, and after that, work, was everything for me. I never allowed myself to get close to anyone, until I met Tracy. I saw something in her that I saw in myself. We're kindred spirits, you might say."
Janice is grateful that Beth has someone like Tracy in her life. She had lost a sister, and found another one, while trying to save Tracy from the same kind of horror she herself had been through.
"And now I have you guys," Beth continues. "You and Jack and Ben and Amanda. I don't know what I'd do without you all."
Janice's heart swells and she presses a gentle kiss to Beth's forehead. "Thank you for telling me," she whispers. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."
The storm has stopped and it is very quiet now, although the power hasn't come back on. Now that the lightning has stopped flashing constantly, it is absolutely pitch black in Beth's bedroom and the house beyond. Beth seems much more calm now, and they have both stopped crying. They sit quietly for several minutes, still wrapped around each other, tucked underneath the covers.
"I guess I should get up," Beth says after awhile, sounding sheepish.
Janice is disappointed and her arms tighten reflexively around the other woman for a moment before she forces them to relax. She could honestly stay there for the rest of the night, holding Beth in her lap, and be perfectly content. But she doesn't want to seem over eager or possessive, so she reluctantly unwraps her arms so her boss can slide off her lap and onto her feet.
"Thanks for lending me your shirt." Beth slides the garment and hands it back to Janice before stepping carefully over to her closet and pulling on a robe.
Janice can just barely see her in the dark, as she puts the top back on. The shirt smells like Beth and she feels their separation acutely, now that the other woman is no longer in her arms.
"I guess I should go find some candles," Beth says with a short laugh. "It's really damn dark in here."
Janice chuckles and gets out of the bed to help her. They retrieve the still-lit flashlight from the bathroom floor and find Beth's impressive stock of candles in a hall closet. They walk slowly around the house, placing them in the kitchen, living room, bedroom, and bathroom.
"So what do you want to do now?" Janice asks. "It's still fairly early."
"I think I'd like to have a glass of wine in the bathtub," Beth says with a smile.
Janice grins at her. "Sounds like a plan. That'll be nice and relaxing for you. I think I'll have a glass of wine myself, and get back to the case files I was working on earlier. My laptop still has plenty of charge on it. I'll just work out in the living room."
"Oh, you don't have to do that," Beth protests. "You can stay in here. Make yourself comfortable in the bed."
Janice smiles. "Okay, great. Thanks."
They get settled with very full glasses of wine, Janice on the bed with her computer and Beth tucked into the very spacious bathtub in the adjoining washroom.
xxx
The next hour passes quickly and peacefully. It is very quiet in the house and the candles add a lovely glowing ambiance. Janice is able to finish up a lot of work, and she occasionally hears slight splashes of water from the bathroom and water being drained and refilled from time to time.
She has sipped her wine very slowly but feels a slight buzz as she packs up her laptop and puts her work away for the night.
Beth has been very quiet for a long time, so Janice knocks lightly on the bathroom door. "Hey, how're you doing in there?"
She doesn't receive an answer, so she slowly pushes the door open and pokes her head in. "Beth, you okay?"
She smiles softly at the scene before her. Beth is laying in the tub, bubbles up to her neck, head resting on the side, eyes closed. There is an empty glass of wine beside her and she looks very content.
"Hey," Janice whispers, tiptoeing toward her. "Wake up, sleepyhead. I think the water is cold."
Beth cracks an eye open and smiles at her. "Actually, the water is still pretty warm. I was going to refill it again soon. It's so nice in here, I don't want to get out."
"Yeah, it looks really nice," Janice agrees. "Very cozy." The room looks quite inviting, all the bubbles piled up in the tub and the candles flickering against the walls.
Beth reaches out to pour more wine into her glass. "I think I'm a bit drunk," she admits with a giggle.
Janice laughs. There is something so adorable and, well, a bit strange hearing Beth Davis giggle. "Yeah, I'm a little buzzed myself. We both just needed to calm down and unwind."
"Yes, we definitely did," Beth says softly.
They look at each other in the semi darkness and Janice thinks the other woman wants to say something else, so she remains silent.
"Um, Janice..." Beth hesitates. "Do you...do you want to, um...get in with me?"
Janice is pretty sure her heart stops beating. She stands there, not speaking. All she has wanted to do since Beth announced she was taking a bath is to climb into the tub with her, and now she feels frozen, unable to respond.
"Sorry," Beth mutters, blushing and looking away. "I'm really sorry, Janice. That was so inappropriate. I'm drunk, I don't know what I'm saying."
Janice smiles, her heart hammering, and finds her voice. "Don't apologize. I was hoping you'd ask."
"Oh. Well, okay then." Beth smiles back and then averts her eyes as Janice sheds her clothing. Janice finds it adorable because Beth had just seen her in all her naked glory the night before.
She carefully climbs into the tub, not wanting to disturb all the bubbles. She and Beth sit at either end, smiling sheepishly at each other. Janice is highly amused at her behavior towards the other woman. She has never in her life been so shy and hesitant with someone. In fact, she is always the aggressive one in her relationships. But she is treading carefully here, and not just because Beth is her boss. The depth of feeling she has for this woman is stunning and she doesn't want to scare her away. She knows Beth is used to being on her own, for the most part, and seems content that way, at least before Janice began living there full time. She has to admit that Beth seems happy to have her around.
Janice closes her eyes and leans her head back against the tub. It is an extremely spacious tub with jets, but she keeps her legs crossed so she doesn't invade Beth's personal space. After a few minutes, she feels Beth's toes resting against her shins and she smiles, opening one eye. The other woman's eyes are closed as well and she looks very relaxed. Janice is so glad that all the earlier stress seems to be gone. She is pleasantly buzzed and the water is warm.
"Janice." Beth's voice sounds lazy and sluggish. "I'm so glad you're here."
"I'm glad I'm here too," Janice replies. "I think I drank too much wine, though."
Beth giggles again, and Janice doesn't think she will ever get tired of hearing that sound. "Yeah, me too. We should stop, though. We have to work tomorrow."
Janice shrugs, unconcerned. "It's still early."
"Seriously, though, thank you for earlier," Beth says quietly. "I'm sorry I keep flipping out on you. I never do this in front of anyone else. I just...I just feel safe with you. I feel like maybe it's okay to not be okay, when you're here."
Janice's eyes are open now and she looks at Beth in the candlelight. The room is very dim but she can feel the other woman's gaze penetrating into her own. "It's always okay if you're not okay," she replies softly. "And you're always safe with me."
Beth smiles at her and moves nearer in the tub. "I need to be close to you right now," she murmurs.
"Okay," Janice whispers. She holds out her arms and opens her legs, underneath the bubbles, and Beth turns around, settling her back against Janice's chest. Her thighs press against Beth's and her arms wrap around her stomach. "God, you feel so good," Janice sighs, linking her fingers together against Beth's abdomen and leaning her head back on the edge of the tub.
"Mmm, so do you," Beth murmurs, hooking her hands underneath Janice's bent knees and pulling them closer to her.
"So do you do this with all your employees?" Janice jokes.
Beth is silent for a moment and Janice thinks she has taken it a step too far, but then the other woman leans her head back and smiles at her. "I've never had the inclination to snuggle with Jack or Ben in a bubble bath."
Janice laughs. "I guess I'm just special, then."
"That you are," Beth agrees softly. She turns in Janice's embrace and leans up to press a quick, chaste kiss to her lips before settling back down in her original position.
Even though it was just a quick peck, Janice feels heat bloom through her and her heart rate picks up. She leans down and plants a soft, lingering kiss against Beth's neck, hoping she hasn't overstepped her boundaries. But really, how many boundaries are left at this point, anyway?
Beth hums in appreciation, her hands rubbing up and down the outside of Janice's thighs.
Janice is overcome with need for this woman, but she resists the urge to slide her hands up Beth's rib cage to cup her breasts. Instead, she keeps them locked together at Beth's midsection, although she can feel her fingers twitching slightly. She leans down to kiss the smaller woman's neck again. "Beth, you are driving me crazy," she whispers in her ear.
Beth leans her head back against Janice's shoulder and reaches up to cup the back of her head. Their lips meet in a tentative kiss that quickly turns passionate. Beth turns around in Janice's embrace and straddles her, winding her arms around her neck. Janice's hands run up and down her back and tangle in her hair, the kiss becoming more frantic and intense. They are sliding against each other in the bubbles, and Beth's breasts feel amazing pressed against Janice's.
"Oh my god," she moans, throwing her head back as Beth rains kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. The other woman presses a knee gently into her center and Janice thinks she will explode. She tries to get a hold of herself, but is soon grinding against it, rocking furiously into Beth's knee. "Beth-" she pants. "Oh, god, I can't-" The pressure is building and the feeling of pleasure is so intense, she can't take it.
"It's okay, baby, just let go," Beth says softly, pressing her knee in more firmly.
Janice moans loudly, the sound echoing around the dim bathroom, and the most intense orgasm she has ever felt rips through her, leaving her breathless and panting. She leans forward, her head resting against Beth's chest, and the smaller woman holds her close, stroking her back gently. "Oh, wow," Janice murmurs, still trying to catch her breath. "I didn't intend-That caught me off guard."
Before Beth can respond, the lights suddenly come back on, and after spending so long in candlelit darkness, the bathroom looks lit up like the Fourth of July. It's as if a spell has been broken and the situation seems awkward all of a sudden. They regard each other, squinting in the sudden brightness, and Beth hastily removes herself from Janice's lap.
"Well, it's getting late," she mutters. "We should probably head to bed. Another busy day at the office tomorrow." She gives Janice a small smile and climbs out of the tub, wrapping herself in a towel.
Janice has to look away. Beth looks so sexy standing there, the bubbles sliding down her smooth olive skin, that it's all she can do not to throw herself at her boss. She is still feeling revved up and is disappointed at the turn of events. If only the power hadn't come back on at that exact moment. She doesn't want Beth to regret what they have just done.
She waits until the other woman leaves the bathroom before getting out of the tub and drying herself off. The bedroom is empty so she quickly changes into boy shorts and a tank top for the night, even though she just wants to stay naked.
Beth comes into the room, dressed in pretty much the same thing. "All the candles are blown out," she says. "I'm going to turn in."
Janice watches her climb into bed and get situated under the covers. She feels a pang of loneliness. "Um, do you want me to sleep on the couch tonight?"
"No, of course not," Beth replies, one corner of her mouth lifting up in what might be a smile. "Come on in." She holds the covers up, and Janice gets in beside her, feeling relieved.
They lay on separate sides of the bed in the silent darkness. Janice's body is still humming and she feels like she can't wind down. She wants to reach across the distance and pull the shorter woman into her arms, but she's not sure if that action would be welcome right now.
To her surprise, she hears Beth snoring lightly a few minutes later. Janice rolls onto her side, away from her, and frowns. She was hoping they could at least talk before going to sleep, or maybe continue what they started in the bathroom. She feels uneasy, wondering if Beth regrets what they have done.
xxx
An hour later, Janice is still wide awake, watching the minutes click by on the clock on the nightstand. She sighs in frustration, wondering if any sleep will come tonight. She has never been this sleep deprived in her life. Between the hunt for Ray and Perry and whatever this relationship is that she has going on with her boss, something's gotta give. And she's not even taking into account all the other open, active cases at the TAU. She just needs things to start slowing down.
There is sudden frantic movement from the other side of the bed, and Janice rolls over, startled. There is the bang of a drawer and then a crash, and she quickly switches on the lamp. Beth has knocked over the lamp on her side, and is sitting up in bed, feet on the floor, gun pointed toward the door.
"Beth!" Janice yells. "Put down the gun!" She has been awake since they went to bed, and knows there is no one else in the house. It had been perfectly silent until a second ago, and the alarm hasn't been tripped.
Beth whirls around and Janice ducks down on instinct, but her boss lowers the gun as soon as she sees her. "Janice? Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Beth tucks the gun back into her nightstand and then reaches down to pick up the lamp she has knocked over.
"Another nightmare?" Janice asks softly, her heart still pounding.
Beth gives a shaky nod. "Yeah. They were in here."
Janice doesn't need to ask who she is referring to. "Are you okay?"
Beth shrugs. "I'll be okay when they're caught. I'm really sorry for scaring you."
"I'm fine," Janice assures her, her racing heart saying otherwise.
Beth settles back onto the bed, pulling the covers up to her chin, and Janice can't help but think how small and vulnerable she looks. She switches the lamp off and settles down on her own side. She can feel Beth's eyes on her in the darkness.
Janice reaches her hand out across the bed. "Come here."
Beth is in her arms so quickly, Janice feels like the wind has been knocked out of her. They cling to each other under the covers and Janice can feel the other woman's heart pounding as quickly as her own.
"I'm sorry," Beth says again. "For earlier."
"Don't be sorry," Janice whispers, stroking her hair. "I'm not. I'm only sorry it stopped."
"I just-I've never done that before. With a..."
"Woman?"
"Yes. I've never wanted to. But Janice, having you here lately, I just can't stop thinking about you. I want to be with you all the time."
"I feel the same way," Janice confesses, feeling joy spreading through her.
"I think I-I..."
"You what?"
"I..." Beth sighs. "I think we should go to sleep."
Janice's joy evaporates somewhat, but she is still feeling lighthearted as Beth tucks her head under her chin.
"I think you're right," she says softly. "Goodnight, Beth."
"Goodnight, Janice."
xxx
The next day all hell breaks loose. They wake up to find out that Amanda was attacked outside of Jack's house the night before, likely by Ray or Perry, and is in the hospital with a head injury. After visiting Amanda to make sure she is alright, Beth receives a call at work from Tracy, who has been kidnapped by Ray. The friend she had been staying with is in the hospital with severe injuries and is undergoing surgery. Beth is removed from the case and Vicki Gregg steps in to take her place.
After they are unable to locate Tracy quickly, Beth is sent home with Ben and a policeman, much to Janice's chagrin, while she, Jack, and the task force set out to find Beth's best friend. They find Tracy in the trunk of a car in a junkyard, but are unable to find Ray or Perry. While Jack is on the phone with Ben, letting them know that Tracy is safe, they hear gunshots, and are en route to Beth's place, sirens wailing,
Janice's heart is in her throat and she can barely keep it together on the way there. She knows they are too late.
When they arrive, Ben is bleeding out on the floor in the hallway from multiple gunshot wounds, and Beth is nowhere to be found. Everything is complete chaos, and Janice is in shock that it has all gone so bad so fast. Her heart is broken and she is shaking so violently, she has to sit in the guest bathroom for a moment to pull herself together. The woman she loves has been kidnapped by the man who killed her family, and the co-worker she has come to think of as a little brother might not even make it through the night.
The next several hours pass in a blur. After accompanying Ben to the hospital and seeing him rushed into emergency surgery, she, Jack, Vicki, and the team alternate between the TAU office and the field, desperate for leads on where Ray has taken Beth. They are informed that the doctors aren't confident of Ben's survival and are doing everything they can to save him, and Ben's family arrives.
Janice feels immense guilt for not being at the hospital and she knows Jack feels the same way, but there is nothing they can do for Ben now. And they both know that he would want them doing everything they can to find Beth.
It is three o'clock in the morning when Vicki finally orders them home for a few hours rest. Janice can't imagine going back to her apartment now. Beth's home is her home, but it is also a crime scene.
She reluctantly heads home with Jack, to his pathetic mattress on the floor, not wanting to be alone. They flop down side by side, with plans to head over to the hospital to see Ben when they wake up, if nothing new breaks with Beth. Janice doesn't want to stop searching, but they have orders not to return for several hours. She is tempted to keep the search going on her own, but knows she is no good to Beth on such little rest.
Janice can't imagine how she can possibly sleep. Everything is wrong. Beth should be beside her, but instead it is Jack. Ben might not survive. Amanda has been released from the hospital and she and Ethan are in protective custody. Everything is a mess.
She doesn't know how it happens, but she eventually drifts off to sleep, the exhaustion too much for her, her snores mingling with Jack's.
xxx
The final time it happens, Janice knows it's not real. But she keeps her eyes shut, willing herself to stay in the dream.
She is curled up on Beth's couch, and Beth is standing before her. Janice holds up the blanket and the smaller woman slides underneath, curling into her embrace.
"Did you have a nightmare?" Janice whispers, rubbing her back.
"Yeah, but it's okay now," Beth says softly. "I'm safe when I'm with you."
When Janice opens her eyes, they are full of tears.
Beth isn't safe. Beth is gone.
xxx
"Calling your name in the midnight hour,
Reaching for you from the endless dream,
So many miles between us now,
But you are always here with me."
xxx
*Song lyrics are from Sia's "Breathe Me" and "Susie Suh's "Here With Me".
