Title: T.S. Eliot.
Characters: Veronica, Logan, Mac
A/N: This is basically AU. Its a one shot that just came to me, so I thought I'd post it here and see what people think. Basically everything upto Spit and Eggs has happened, and it's basically where I kind of thought it could go. I'm not sure how well the characters are portrayed in this one, but I'm still pretty new at this whole Veronica Mars fic thing. So let me know what you think please! I really appreciate any reviews. And sorry if the flow isn't great, no one read it over for me. Hope you like it!
---
"It's strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggle for breath, so the lover must struggle for words." – T.S. Eliot
It was strong how two simple sentences could worm their way into your brain and latch on. T.S. Eliot's words were all that she thought about after her English class. She'd heard many people, including her father, rave about college English courses, but she didn't expect to relate so well to one of the topics.
Veronica had long ago realized that she loved Logan. That fateful day, junior year in high school, when she had falsely accused him of murder, she realized she longed for him. It was then that she knew. And though she broke up with him later on, she continued to love him, through all of senior year. Always finding that those feelings were prominent, even when she tried to put them aside. She had hoped that when he saved her life on the roof of the Neptune Grande she'd finally be able to open up to him. And though she opened up for a little while, she ultimately found herself more closed off. She feared that he wouldn't love her back; she feared he would hurt her.
Or so she thought. But could her real reason be her inability to find the words to express herself? Now she was starting to see, maybe it was a mix of all three.
---
That afternoon Veronica found herself sitting in Mac's dorm room. They'd been talking about their plans for the upcoming weekend. Mac's mention of Logan joining them brought passion and fear to Veronica's eyes, all at the same time, and Mac couldn't help but notice.
"V, you okay? I thought you'd come to terms with the friendship." Mac's tone was filled with obvious worry.
"I had, or at least I thought I had…" Veronica shook her head, T.S. Eliot's words running through her mind again. "I mean, I was fine up until English this morning. Then T.S. Eliot just appeared, out of no where, like he'd just come into existence."
"I can honestly say I don't understand. He's been dead for quite awhile V." Confusion spread quickly across Mac's face.
"Not like that Mac. It's just hard to-" Veronica quickly stood and moved towards the door. "Look, I have to go do something. We'll, um, figure out our plans later."
---
Only a short while later Veronica found herself in the parking garage of the Neptune Grande. She sat in her car, unsure of how she had gotten there, and also what exactly her plan was. All she knew was she had to talk to Logan.
---
At the door to Logan's suite, Veronica's mind was racing. She'd spent the elevator ride up trying to think of what to say, but she managed to be completely out of words. She pulled a plastic key card from her pocket and contemplated using it, but settled on knocking instead. Logan was at the door moments later, outwardly shocked at seeing Veronica standing before him.
"Um, hey, what's up?" He looked at Veronica's face, her eyes portrayed a fear he had never seen before. He reached out to gently touch her arm, but decided better of it and stepped to the side. "Come on in."
Veronica stepped in the suite and made her way to the couch. She sat quietly on the cold leather. In her mind she knew she didn't have long before he asked if everything was alright, but she couldn't form any words. Her forehead creased in deep concentration.
"Penny for your thoughts? What's on your mind?" Logan sat on the couch but kept his distance. Though the two had vowed to be friends, his emotions often got the best of him, so he had come to the decision that space was always the best idea.
"T.S. Eliot." She spoke quietly and he looked at her confused, but he chose to give her time before asking any questions. A moment later she spoke again, her voice quiet and uneven. "'It's strange that words are so inadequate. Yet, like the asthmatic struggle for breath, so the lover must struggle for words' seemingly simple words-"
"Veronica what are you talking about?" He knew the words, knew them well. Once his mother had explained that quote to him and he had never forgotten it. It was one happy memory he had of his family.
"Logan, I know that I don't open myself up, but you need to hear some things from me. And I need to speak with interruption, okay?" He nodded nervously. "Logan, I'm usually ones for words, but only when they don't open me up to possible pain. But I've realized by closing myself off, I am hurting not only myself, but the ones I love. Logan, I love you, and I need you. And I don't mean as a friend." Suddenly her voice broke and a single tear spilled from her glistening blue eyes. Logan moved towards her, gently wiping the tear from her cheek. He pulled her into a hug and her body perfectly filled every crevice of his body, the two of them entwined perfectly, almost as if they were one person. He knew that those few words, though simple in theory, took so much for her to say.
He leaned into her, kissing the top of her head and rocking her gently. When he looked down he saw she was asleep, so delicate and fragile in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and smiled. "The girl said she needs me, and she loves me." He laid his head back on the couch and drifted slowly off into a comfortable sleep.
---
Okay so thats the end. Hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think!