Bleh. Disclaimer. Okay, I don't own IZ, the characters, etc. ONE SHOT!

I couldn't sleep. Stupid insomnia...I just layed there for hours and hours, eyes closed, trying to turn my mind off. It was impossible. No matter what I tried, thoughts still zoomed through my head. This normally happens, but tonight was one of the worse nights. After five hours, I decided I would just get up and walk around for a while. No one else was awake. I went to the main room of the Massive. Just as was expected, the lights were off, and no one was there. When I do get up in the middle of the night, the lack of lights and other people (Irkens?) was something I really do appreciate. In the day, it's crowded and bright. It's nice to see it dark and empty for a change. I was going to actually review Zim's latest transmission (they were all recorded). I was making my way toward the screen when I tripped over someone. Yes, someone was asleep in the middle of the floor.

"Hey! Watch where you're going! I'm trying to sleep!" They snapped. I recognized the voice.

"In the middle of the floor, Pur?" I asked skeptically.

"Oh, hey Red...Yes, in the middle of the floor!" Purple said in a defensive tone.

"Why?" I asked flatly.

"Pft. Felt like it."

"You're hiding something." I accused, no emotion in my voice. I could always tell when he was trying to hide something.

"I- No!"

"Yes."

"No."

"Tell me."

"Tell you what? There's nothing to tell!" Purple insisted.

"Okay...I suppose if there's nothing to tell...I'll just go throw the donuts out the window...Into the vacuum of space, where there's no turning back," I threatened. He gasped.

"You wouldn't!"

"I would. I prefer chips to donuts, really." I got up, pretending to really be going to get rid of the donuts.

"No! Wait!" He cried out. I stopped and looked down at him. He clung to my legs, trying to stop me.

"I'll tell you, if you promise to help me!...And not laugh at me," He added quietly.

"Okay. What is it?"

"Promise!"

"I promise," I said dully.

"Okaaaay...Swear!" He insisted.

"Purple!"

"Do it or I won't tell you!" He threatened. Normally, I would just walk away, but I was curious about what it was.

"I swear upon my life that I will not laugh at you, and will help you with whatever."

"Okay...There's a spider in my room!" Purple cried out. I held my breath in order not to laugh. I was glad it was dark, so he couldn't see me smiling.

"You want me to go squish it?" My attempt not to laugh was obvious in my voice.

"You promised you wouldn't laugh!" Purple accused me.

"No, I'm- I'm not laughing! It was just...unexpected!" He sighed, and stood up with me. We went to where he slept, and he turned on the light.

"Where is it?" I asked. He looked around, and started to say something, but when he looked at me, he stopped in mid-word, and pointed at me, looking truly terrified. It took me a second to realize that the spider was probably on me. I looked down at my uniform, and there is was, in the middle of my stomach. I didn't jump, but I was a little surprised. That spider really was scary, as far as spiders go, anyway. It was huge. It could have wrapped itself completely around my waist, and was a bright, ugly, yellow-green color. It was almost neon, and nearly glowed. I was sure it could have been seen in the dark. I sighed. It was kind of creepy, but I tried to act cool. I brushed it off of me, a little surprised at it's strength. It took two tires to get it, and when I brushed it off of me, I stomped on it with my foot.

Well, the stump on the end of my leg. Long story...

"Thanks..." Purple sighed. He eyed the icky spider mess on the floor.

"We'll make someone clean that up tomorrow." I assured him. He gave me an unbelieving look.

"I have to sleep in here with...that?" He gaped at me.

"It's not in the bed."

"Yeah, but what if it comes back to life and lays eggs in my stomach, and then I cough up spider-babies?" He said. I sighed. If the spider did somehow come back to life (which was impossible) and did lay eggs in his stomach (I was pretty sure that was impossible), it would probably be digested, along with the eggs. I told him this, and it clearly didn't help.

"Okay, okay, look at is this way- I stomped it really hard, and it won't come back." I tried. He gave me a puppy-dog face.

"But..what if it's a super-spider?" He asked.

"I stomped it reeeeeeeally hard." I assured him.

"But you don't have feet! What if it didn't get properly squished?" He argued. I shushed him.

"Do you want the whole Massive to know that?" I hissed. "Okay, fine. It's clear you don't want to sleep in the same room as the dead spider...What about...you can sleep in my room." I suggested. He jumped up, careful to not step on the spider. He nodded and made his way toward my room. I sighed, looking at the spider. It really was gross. I wouldn't sleep near it either.

He was dead asleep by the time he layed down on the bed. I almost laughed. He never had problems sleeping. I had once tried talking to a doctor about my inability to sleep, but she had wanted me to get an examination, which could involve someone finding out that I cut off my feet. It didn't really show through my Tallest uniform. I was glad for this. I was sure there was an issue or law for cutting off your feet for the reason I had to.

Well, no, I didn't have to. I just felt it was the only option at the time. Purple snored rather loudly. I would never admit this, but I fell asleep easier with him snoring. It was a little irritating the first time, but because of spiders, bad conditions, and- heh, -a few other situations, I've gotten used to sleeping in the same bed as him. I heard this means a lot more to some other species. I think Zim mentioned 'married' couples doing this once, but I'm not sure what it means. I tried hacking into an Earth internet source later on to find out what it means, marriage, but all I found was sappy poems about love and websites for human children who have an issue with their step-parents. I've never gotten why other species raise their own children, or would want to.

I still couldn't sleep. I finally just got up. If I was tired tomorrow, then I could sleep then. Then again...I wouldn't be that lucky.

"You have a lot of patience with him," Purple observed, just after we cut the transmission with Zim.

"I have practice, having to deal with you."

"You love dealing with me! Admit it!" Purple accused me. He wouldn't have said that if we weren't alone. I yawned. This was the day after the 'spider incident'. I only slept an hour the night before. I was sure I wouldn't have slept at all if Purple hadn't been in there snoring. Even Zim- who had to be the most naive person in the empire -noticed I was tired. No one asked questions as to why I only slept an hour, or why Purple was sleeping in my bed. The first technician that shot us a suspicious look got to clean up the spider mess.

"Hey, you look tired," Purple said. I was relieved I didn't have to retaliate to him accusing me of 'loving having to deal with him'.

"I am. I slept about an hour." I said, not thinking about it. He gave me a guilty look.

"Not because of me, was it?" He asked.

"Oh! No, I couldn't sleep before that, either." I wasn't sure if I should tell him about how I slept better with him there. This would increase the awkwardness (awkwardness? Is that a word?) between us. It started a few weeks ago. We were talking to an Irken soldier, about memories of training when we were smeets. Purple and I had always been together, always been best friends. We were in the same room on Painful Overload Day. We had been best friends after that.

Our friendship also led to the incident with my feet. But, that's for later. He told us about his training. We both noticed that everyone else in training with us seemed to not stay with only one certain friend, and that if they actually did have friends, they had several, and didn't get very close. We actually talked to the control brains about smeet friendship after that. They confirmed that most of them don't stay friends, and don't get very close. We even found out that both of our PAK's got some memories wiped from them. Neither of us were aware that had happened.

We are the Tallest, and had some control over the control brains (some). We had enough power that we could make the control brains give us back the memories. The awkward part was finding out what we had done in the memories. I was glad we didn't get caught...Because kissing (or any other signs of affection) are taboo in the Irken empire. The memories got wiped when we became Tallest, and we weren't punished because A) We were Tallest, and B) Only the control brains knew.

Purple and I were closer after that. But it was still awkward.

The trash compacter made a strange noise. I knew not to look down at it. Purple didn't seem phased. He just munched on his donuts, not caring that we just threw someone in the trash compacter. This was semi-normal for us. Almost all the Tallest killed anyone catching up. There were stories about Miyuki saving hundreds of Irkens who Spork thought had the slightest potential to grow. I didn't feel bad about doing it- like, killing soldiers. It's a perfectly normal thing in the Irken empire.

If someone did get taller than Purple and I, and weren't killed, we'd get our hover-belts taken. If we weren't killed, there would be an issue with my feet. I cut them off, as mentioned plenty of times earlier. The memory had been foggy before, but it was more clear after the control brains gave us back out memories.

I'm not sure why half the memory was erased. The first half, the one erased, was Purple and I waking up, in the same bed. I don't know what significance that has, but it had gotten erased (well, removed). I knew there was more to the memory, but the control brains conformed that our PAK's had deleted the memory. Our PAK's, instead of the control brains. It must have been bad.

We both went into the bathroom to prepare. The ceremony to become the Tallest was that day- the one where we got our thumbs cut off. We were standing in front of the mirror, when we both realized something at the same time.

"...Are you...standing on your tiptoes?" Purple asked. He sounded almost hopeful.

"..No...Are you slouching?" I asked, obviously hopeful.

"...No..." He squeaked. I was about three inches taller than him. We both stood as normally as possible.

"People don't grow three inches overnight!" I cried out. I bit my lip (or something fairly close to that).

"This is an issue," I murmured to myself. Yes, it was obviously an issue!

I should include that I still had my feet at this point.

I said I'd be back, and went to my room in the hotel. We were staying there until the ceremony was over. The memory is almost physically painful. I cut off my feet. Most species wouldn't survive this, but not only were all Irkens lightly trained in the medical field, but the bleeding stopped an hour later, when I went back to Purple's room. PAK's are specially designed to help heal wounds a lot faster.

"You look pale!" Purple cried out the moment he saw me. I just nodded.

"Yeah, long story."

"You've been gone only an hour! Surely you could tell me on the way over there?" Purple tried. I shrugged.

"We should be the same height now. Wanna check?" He gave me a suspicious look. When we checked, we were perfectly normal again.

"Tell me!" Purple demanded. "I know that I didn't grow! What did you do?"

"I'll tell you if...you don't cry out when your thumb is cut off." I decided. I honestly thought he wouldn't be able to take the pain. I cried out, but he didn't. So, I had to tell him.