NOSTOWLGIA
Very silly and very gay, sorry everyone. I've been lurking in the Niteschach collection for so long now that I just had to bang one out myself. Set around the same time as the beginning of the graphic novel, so you could actually just read this instead; it's got a happier ending. :D
If you can count all the references to owls, you get a special prize! This chapter is a warm-up, the next one will be FILTH.
Daniel Dreiberg was pissed as pissed could be, and then some. Gliding silently down the street, he was at the stage of drunk where he liked to pretend he was a beautiful owl, flying over the pavement.
His night at Hollis Mason's had been a particularly exciting one; they had discussed infrared technology for at least an hour and had watched a very good documentary called "OWLS OWLS OWLS!", one of Dan's favourites. Hollis hadn't had the heart to tell Daniel that he wasn't quite as mad on owls these days. Making up a wild excuse, "Yeah, uh, Dollar Bill is coming round to play Monopoly.", he finally persuaded Dan that it was time to go home and roost. Dan left dizzily, tripping up over Phantom the dog as he went.
Making his solitary way home, he felt increasingly the negative effects of emptying his old friend's fridge of all it's alcohol. And some of it's food. Daniel realised he would probably have to a) be violently sick, b) have the longest piss in the world or c) both, and would have to do one of these choices pretty soon. Rubbing his head, Daniel hooted in dismay; when the hell had he started to let himself get this drunk? Hollis must hate him. He had always prided himself on being quite a sensible, even a wise old individual. Apart from the amazing secrets he kept in his basement, Dan had always been the quiet bachelor, he was a square (or rather an owlish sort of shape), he was a cardigan wearer for god's sake!
Although, just recently, he'd been feeling a little ruffled about life's progression. Going from fighting crime dressed as an owl to watching documentaries about them, in a cardigan, it did something to a guy. A couple of glasses had recently been turning into a couple of bottles, and Daniel seemed to be experiencing what people affectionately call a MID-LIFE CRISIS. On top of that he really, really needed to piss.
The cold air had sobered Dan up enough for him to notice an alleyway coming up, the dark and deserted kind favoured by rapists and muggers everywhere. Daniel heard his inner-avenger pipe up that there was a law against this somewhere, meanwhile his inner-drunk insisted that you hadn't ever really lived until you'd pissed up a wall.
Dan listened to the latter voice and hurried down the alley, but declined the voice's idea of writing his name on the bricks.
TOILET BREAK HERE (go on, it will help you empathise, you can wee-along-a-Nite Owl)
Zipping back up he noted what a shabby little place it was, an absolute dream for anyone who enjoyed the scenery of dustbins and boarded up slums. Though to his left he noticed something rather out of place, tucked between two dustbins and gazed upon by an old 'Nostalgia' poster.
"Oh, uh, look what I nearly took a leak on... Looks almost like-", mumbled Dan as he extended a curious hand, and then he stopped dead, frozen.
Anybody else might have dismissed it as an abandoned pile of clothes, but Daniel's fuzzy brain screamed with undeniable recognition at the fedora hat, trench coat and purple pinstriped suit. He'd seen the combination a thousand times. Only Rorschach could dress like that and get away with it, although this was more from people's fear of broken fingers than a passion for fashion. Dan imagined to hear a gruff "Hello, Daniel." and almost pissed again in surprise, his stomach doing an unpleasant flip as he backed away, retracting his hand as though burned.
Why the hell would Rorschach leave his entire wardrobe here? He had always thought Rorschach never took the damn outfit off, that he slept in it, he'd always thought his partner had smelt that way anyway. Dan smiled stupidly to himself.
This meant that Rorschach was wandering around somewhere without his costume. Rorschach had another identity, maybe he was living a normal life when not behind the anonymity of his mask, maybe he even knew him! Daniel hoped he didn't owe him money. His stomach flipped again (it's an acrobat)... he suddenly found himself wondering irrationally if Rorschach had a family or girlfriend, the thought made him feel strangely sick... he didn't think it was entirely the alcohol. Maybe Rorschach was wandering around somewhere NAKED.
"Uhh, hell..." said Dan, tortured by this vivid idea, although being drunk momentarily blocked some of the guilt.
Daniel was not sure when he had first stopped seeing Rorschach as his batshit insane old friend, and had started seeing Rorschach as his batshit insane old friend who he'd really love to bang. Was it something to do with him being an integral part of his 'glory days'? A link to the years when he had been most happy, content to take on the world's problems in an owl costume, with his grim blot-faced chum by his side?
Even Dan could not explain it, his partner had always been so aggressively asexual, he fondly remembered seeing waves of disgust radiating off him, just watching couples hold hands. He remembered his partner spending every Valentine's Day flinching, as Daniel read through his hundreds of cards, hooting with joy. Rorschach was about the most unlikely and stupid crush he could have, he knew that... and yet he felt like he wanted to personally throttle anyone who might know him better than he did.
Just then Dan picked up footsteps from the other end of the alley; he might as well have had sonar hearing. Somebody was coming.
Daniel almost tripped over his own feet as he panicked, stumbling the opposite direction to the vibrations and ducking (or is it owling) behind a large metal barrel. Cursing the alcohol in his system, he wondered why he had put himself in such a ridiculous position. If it was just a normal civilian or even a criminal, he'd have nothing to worry about, he was a hero goddammit! Nite Owl II, hiding behind a barrel, was a stupid idea. Furthermore, if it was Rorschach returning for his clothes, he wouldn't react kindly if he found him there spying on him. It was too late though, the footsteps were so very close now and Dan prayed his hiding place would hold out.
Over the frenzied beating of his heart, which he hoped was only audible to owls, Dan noticed that the footsteps had stopped shy of his amazing barrel hideout. If his powers of calculation were true then whoever had paused, barely a couple of meters away, had paused right in front of the clothes pile and the Nostalgia poster. He could almost swear they had been Rorschach's footsteps; they'd sounded like the footsteps of impending doom.
An absolute rush of curiosity consumed him, Daniel HAD to see who was out there, he felt like he would quite possibly die if he didn't at least sneak one look.
Justifying to himself, with the help of Mr Beer, that whoever was there would have their attention focused elsewhere, Dan cautiously looked around the barrel with one short-sighted brown eye. The man's ugly profile was just about visible in the darkness and it took Daniel only a few seconds to recognise him...
The End Is Nigh man! He carried the placard, he was homeless, he had red hair! That was actually all he knew about him. Dan was relieved, this explained everything! He must just have seen the clothes and paused because he liked them, wanted a change from green perhaps. Maybe they weren't even Rorschach's clothes at all... maybe he was just so obsessed with his old friend, so depressed and drunk that he was putting any hat, suit and coat together and getting a great big Rorschach. And if they were his clothes then well, he should hide them better, anybody could take them!
Calmer now, and internally resolved that he'd been wrong, Daniel noticed the man was getting changed. He really should leave now, this whole situation was ridiculous. Spying on a complete stranger because you thought he might've been your old partner in crime busting, it was not rational thinking. Gearing up to slip quietly away, he accidentally noticed that The End Is Nigh man was INCREDIBLY buff for a homeless person. How did he get arms like that, and how did-whoaah... Dan blushed, he actually blushed.
This was a weird, weird night. He would never get this drunk again; his inhibitions had not just been lowered but shat on. Daniel was absolutely entranced.
After what seemed like an age he was fully dressed again, Dan breathed a sigh of relief, although the homeless man seemed to be taking something out of his pocket... something white... something that moved...
Dan froze. FUCK.
The unruly red hair and freckled nose (aww, baby :3) were vanishing under a mask; languid black blotches suddenly springing to life on a white background, as if woken from slumber. Fuck; this was Rorschach! Rorschach spent his spare time wandering around New York disguised as a hobo, with a batshit insane placard, and was ginger. He popped on his fedora.
"Hurm."
Daniel nearly exploded at the familiar sound. And knocked over an entire dustbin in shock; cans, glass bottles and all manner of noise-making items scattering everywhere. Just like in comics. Barely a second later he found himself dragged to his feet, pinned against the cold brick wall and staring into the most grim black and white pattern he had ever seen.
"Hello, Daniel."
DUN DUN DUNNN!
END OF PART ONE. :O I am having sooo much fun writing this. XD The next part will be shameless smut, so please review and let me know how I'm doing so far; I'm a bit of a newb to writing fanfiction and would love your feedback! Please be gentle with me though hehe.
I actually don't know how many owl references I make in this, but you can still have a prize. Here it is.
0^0
It's an owl upside down. HOORAY.