A/N: I always keep my promises. Even if it takes a long, long time to keep them.
Title: Worst Case Scenario
Rating: R
Fandom: Mermaid Melody
Pairing: Too many to mention, most crack.
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 2,900/?
Warnings: Other than the destruction of the canon pairs, nothing...oh, my dark, satirical humor. Also, no slash. This is completely het, which is probably a milestone for me. Haven't done that in a while.
Summary: If you'd told the Mermaid Princesses, five years ago, that they would be backstabbing each other and in a mess of cheaters, they'd laugh. But that was five years ago.
Disclaimer: I do not own Mermaid Melody. It is the property of Yokote Michiko and Hanamori Pink.
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Arc 1 - Betrayal Is More Fun
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She knew she was attracted the moment she met him. Kaito was gorgeous, charismatic, and while he wasn't the most intelligent person around, he was far from dumb.
Then Nanami Lucia stepped into the picture – transferring from out of nowhere and expressing open interest in him, not like Hanon's own; secret and unsuspected by anybody. As if it couldn't get any worse, Lucia was the pink pearl princess, the leader of the seven princesses of the oceans...
Lucia won automatically.
So Hanon subjected to being the sidekick. The girl who comforted Lucia every time her efforts to seduce him were in vain, the promiscuous one who offered advice, the one who angrily tore apart stuffed animals in the privacy of her room.
It wasn't fair. She was much easier to tolerate than Lucia – less infuriatingly annoying, less dense, less ditzy, smarter and prettier and just better in general...except that might've been her ego talking.
But worse, everyone liked them together. They accepted the idea and supported it; though it was a given that there were a certain amount of fangirls displeased with Lucia. Hanon decided not to join them, disliking the way they approached their goals.
And besides, there was her responsibilities as the aquamarine princess of the south Atlantic ocean. It would not do for her kingdom if the highest ranking princess developed a rivalry with her over something as simple as a boy.
Except Kaito was not just a boy. He was special, and she really doubted anybody could replace the space in her heart that he'd taken up. But her best friend being somewhat involved with him...this meant she couldn't like him. She absolutely wasn't allowed to like him.
Therefore, she vented her feelings in another direction. And luckily for her, a new teacher had shown up, fairly good-looking and with an affinity for music, too. She should've liked him. It would've been perfect.
She did not think of Tarou-chan in that way, though, no matter how many times she said it, nor how many times she even attempted to convince herself. She could not, not with Kaito in the way.
Once, a few months after the deep blue princess had been released from Gakuto's confines, Noel looked straight at her and said sternly, "You can lie to me and the others, Hanon, but you cannot lie to yourself."
Hanon temporarily feared that Noel knew, and would tell. Then she realized that Noel would never reveal one of the darkest secrets within the Mermaid Princesses, and was thankful for the fact that the most insightful one among them was also one of the most silent.
She was actually very disgusted by the way she forced herself upon the teacher in order to forget Kaito. Vaguely, she felt pangs of guilt, as well; Tarou-chan wasn't benefiting in the least from this situation. If anything, she was making life harder for him – having to constantly turn down an enthusiastic fangirl was probably not on his list of priorities.
In essence, she was using him as a means of getting herself back together.
And to her horror, it didn't work.
It was completely useless. Everything she'd done was in vain. Hanon couldn't tear her heart away, couldn't take it back from Kaito's confines. She wished that someone would slap her across the face and tell her that it was stupid, because it was, and she felt awful for liking her best friend's boyfriend.
And Michal didn't help.
The news about Amagi Michal was a shock to not only Lucia, who'd most assuredly thought that Kaito solely belonged to her – which he didn't – but to Hanon as well. Because it meant that Kaito could be taken away from Lucia. It was possible. Now, all that was left was to think up a plan to steal him from Michal.
In a sense, it was good news. But yet again, Lucia was nothing more than a dead weight, a burden on her shoulders: how was Hanon supposed to plot while constantly reassuring the pink princess, faking concern and pouring out words of encouragement that she didn't mean?
Maybe they weren't meant to be. Maybe these feelings were a mistake.
But Hanon would continue to lust, would continue to watch him from afar. In secret, naturally.
Because as awful as it was, this kind of betrayal had a thrill to it.
It was fun.
--
Masahiro pulled himself out of the princess with a heavy sigh. She winced in response, clenching around his sated cock. Masahiro bit his lip, trying to calm himself before his member turned erect again.
"This has to stop," she said desperately. "It's not fair to Rina."
Masahiro snorted sarcastically.
"You didn't think of that before we started sleeping together? Really, Noel, I thought you were the smartest one." Noel narrowed her eyes in response; something that was more in-character for her twin, but habits are easily picked up.
"Of course I did. But I didn't care back then, you see." Her tone was cold and detached. "I was blinded by want, lust...and unreasonable selfishness. Naturally." An emotion - possibly regret - flickered in her dark eyes. "Water creatures are incredibly selfish, you know? When we come up on land." Noel stretched out her lean legs, knowing that she was making her quasi-boyfriend react. She ignored the feeling of triumph in her chest. "More than half of the Earth is water. We have so much down there. Compared to our kingdoms, our wonderful amount of resources...Japan...no, even America is a joke. And us princesses especially." She snorted, which was ironically not a princess-like gesture.
Masahiro understood, somewhat. "Spoiled rotten, I would think."
Noel nodded in agreement, scorn lacing her voice when she spoke. "The Pacific Ocean is the biggest. You can see it in Lucia and Coco."
"Hypocritical," Masahiro mentioned lightly, as to not offend her. "You're a princess as well. And not even the worst off; Caren's ocean is non-existent to my species' scientists. It's just an extension of the Indian, Atlantic, and Pacific. Furthermore, the bigger oceans – the Atlantic and Pacific," he clarified, "Are separated into two. Technically, Lucia and Coco have average portions, if not rather small."
Noel glanced over at him, eyes sparkling in amusement. "I knew there was a reason I liked you. Someone who can match my intelligence and even outsmart me once in a while is hard to come by." She ruffled his hair affectionately, earning an extremely hot sound of utter contentment. "Not to sound arrogant or anything," she amended as an afterthought.
"Knew there was a reason I thought college would be a good idea," Masahiro said proudly. "It was worth something, even if professional boxers don't need a master's degree..."
"That and you picked a co-ed school with dorms," Noel grinned wickedly, again unusually like her sister. Masahiro made a mental note to talk to her about picking up habits later. Now wasn't the time – they were flirting. Or at the very least, bantering.
"Remind me," he said, and Masahiro reached over to close the distance between her mouth and his.
--
"You have reached the number of Hamasaki Masahiro," the familiar lilt of his voice droned in her ear, for the fifth time that afternoon. "If you're listening to this, obviously I haven't picked up my phone. Leave your name and number, and reason you were calling, and I'll get back to you later. And if it's you, Rina, I love you very much. If you're just some crank caller, go fuck your mom." She cringed at the language. It sounded foreign, coming out of his prestigious mouth. "Now...wait for the beep."
Rina swore loudly, slamming her cell phone into the far wall.
"Didn't pick up again?" Hanon asked absently, applying a navy layer of nail polish to her left hand. She lounged lazily on Rina's couch, almost like a cat. After the question was asked, she picked up where'd she left off; Hanon had been humming Ever Blue.
"If he did, do you think I'd be swearing?" Rina pointed out irritably, using her long legs and extended stride to cross the room in a flash and pick up the phone to try again.
Hanon got up, finally, and swatted the portable piece of technology out of her friend's hand as if she were swatting a fly. "No use, Rina. If he didn't pick up after five tries, he's probably off getting laid. Dump him as soon as possible when he gets back," she advised helpfully."Trust me, I would know."
A string of curses were announced in Rina's signature alto again. "Damn it! Out of all the days he could've not picked up his phone, he chose today! This is the last freaking day that plasma screen is on sale!" She threw up her hands in disbelief, obviously ignoring what Hanon was saying.
Not that Hanon ever took a hint. Rina sometimes doubted the word 'clue' existed in her friend's vocabulary. "Please, Rina. You're in no position to get mad at him." Hanon was infuriating when she was admonishing someone... "You're constantly not picking up his calls because you're busy experimenting with the Kama Sutra. And using my ex-boyfriend, while you're at it." A haughty, pointed stare. (1)
...Because she was always right.
"Nagisa is very flexible," Rina said before she even realized she was saying it. She blushed, a light dusting of pink like the colour of cherry blossoms. Hanon laughed.
"You see, your relationship is doomed. And he's probably doing some skank right now." While Noel was bent over in doggy-style, she sneezed heavily. Masahiro peeled himself away from her, afraid of catching her cold. "Dump him before he dumps you. At least you can have some amount of satisfaction that way."
Rina shrugged one shoulder. "It's been a long time."
"I broke up with Nagisa-kun after three years," Hanon said matter-of-factly. The honorific sounded as natural as ever. "And cut off all my ties with Tarou – Mitsuki-sensei," she corrected quickly - "after...almost seven years. Caren and Subaru-san are through, and Coco's been seeing tons of guys. We were in what, junior high school when we met Kaito-kun and company? Relationships don't normally last that long."
"Lucia and Kaito are getting married next year," Rina argued heatedly. Hanon grew silent, a curious wistfulness coming over her expression. Rina paused, thinking. "But I guess you have a point."
A forced laugh came from Hanon's throat. Rina wondered what she'd said that bothered her. "Of course. No one expected it when Michal-chan announced she was pregnant with Subaru's twins." Hanon snickered, sounding like a perfect imitation of one of the Dark Lovers they'd fought five years ago.
"Caren went rigid, didn't she." It was a statement, not a question. Rina still felt sympathetic for the purple princess after that incident; Caren had broken up with Subaru because of her duties as a Mermaid Princess, and he had supposedly understood and even maintained the position that her kingdom was more important than a relationship.
Not even two weeks later, Michal was with child. Actually, children.
Caren never surfaced again. If any of the Mermaid Princesses wanted to see her, they'd have to swim down to the Antarctic. With the exception of Noel, who still held enough admiration in her younger sister's heart that Caren would come by the Arctic every three or four weeks.
"I think you have multiple personality disorder," Rina murmured.
Hanon arched an elegant brow. "Like Eriru?"
Rina shook her head. "Eriru forced it. She could control it. And she seemed aware of it, too...You just go from bubbly to sardonic in five seconds."
Hanon blinked, unconcerned. "Really. I do?"
"Yes, you do." Rina rolled her eyes. She sank into the plush couch. "You were just telling me to break up with Masahiro, and now this shit about Subaru. That guy's an asshole."
"He is," Hanon said carefully. "Do you really think I have a disorder?"
"It'd explain a lot, Hanon-chan," a new voice announced teasingly, and Rina spun around in bewilderment, only to see her door open -
Coco walked in, luxurious blonde locks flying out around her and looking as if she'd just stepped off the cover of a teen fashion magazine.
Knowing how whimsical Coco could be, she probably had. Hanon's thoughts on the unwelcomed intrusion were more along the lines of the grin on her face is incredibly wide and goofy.
"You got a key to my house exactly...how?" The question was supposed to be rhetorical. The last copy was in Lucia's possession: no, not even Masahiro had been spared a key. Rina worried he would come in the middle of the night, and that way, neither would ever get any sleep.
But of course, Coco didn't know that. She, Noel, Seira, and Caren were not nearly as close as Lucia, Hanon, and Rina were.
So she answered, every word obvious. "Lucia-chan handed it to me and told me to stop bothering her, of course!" She giggled drunkenly.
"Are you wasted?" Hanon asked dubiously. Coco winked, laughing.
"Let's take that as a yes," Rina muttered, already feeling her eyebrow tick. "I'll go get some water so she doesn't complain about hangovers tomorrow..." She walked out of the room, ignoring the fact that Coco was addressing her.
"You're probably the only one of us who's still so nice," Coco gushed, swaying on her feet. "Well, and Seira. But Seira-chan is alll-ways nice to me," She drew out the syllable, giggling. But then her pretty face contorted into a pout. "Lucia's not so nice. She got mad at me when I said she didn't know what she was missing when she - "
"Slow down," Hanon crossed her arms in annoyance. "What happened? Why'd you get drunk off your ass this time?"
"I met this really sexy dude," Coco's eyes sparkled, and Hanon couldn't help but let the anger dissipate. The oldest Mermaid Princess made an utterly adorable drunk. "And he asked if he could buy me a drink." A teenage-sounding giggle. "Y'know...drinking leads to talking...talking leads to flirting...flirting leads to kissing...kissing leads to sticking tongues down each other's throats...that goes to petting..."
"You slept with a guy you didn't even know." Rina sounded disgusted beyond belief. She had a presumably cold washcloth in one hand and a water bottle in the other.
Coco scoffed. "Oh, no, that's not my style."She purred prettily. "Unlike a certain aquamarine princess we know."
Hanon barely managed to contain a growl. "You know why I do it! Don't even think of making fun of me for it, either, Coco. You're hardly any better. Honestly, six husbands within the span of five years." Her face was dark with anger, and her fists clenched. The recently applied polish slid off her nails and stuck to her skin. Hanon did not take notice.
"What's happened to us, guys?" Rina said suddenly, dropping the cloth and bottle on the coffee table and letting her lithe body fall to the sofa in resignation. "Why are we like this? Five years ago, it was all about friendship and gossip and boyfriends. Now...now we're taking every chance to stab each other in the back and taking boys' virtues left and right. We smoke, we drink, my God, Seira's already had an abortion and she's only sixteen! We're completely disgusting." Drunken Coco began to sob as the words sank into her brain, and Hanon's mouth quivered slightly.
When? Hanon wondered. When had she started using the pleasures of men as comfort? Hadn't she been raised to not sleep around until she was married?
"It's not our fault," Coco choked out between sobs. "It's - "
"We'll never rise from this if we keep saying that," Rina snapped harshly. "Everything's our fault. It's my fault for coming onto Nagisa, it's your fault for...for everything you do, it's Hanon's fault that she..."
Rina almost imperceptibly glanced over at Hanon for permission. Hanon shook her head pitifully.
"...Lucia's fault for using heroin, Caren's fault for trusting Subaru, Seira needs to stop sleeping with people, the only one with their freaking head screwed on straight is Noel!" Rina spat angrily. The blonde didn't even seem to notice that Hanon had been skipped.
A hiccup came from said blonde's direction. "S'not true," Coco mumbled. "I came here to tell you exactly why your boyfriend never picks up his damn phone."
Hanon groaned out a "don't tell me," albeit very unconvincingly. Rina sank to her knees, exhausted and hurt. "We've – all of us – we've seen and heard too much. This would be the icing on the fucking cake." The profanity rolled off Hanon's tongue with ease, implicating often use of it. "Rina's boyfriend sleeping with Rina's best friend. This is like a bad soap opera, y'know?" Hanon slouched on the sofa. "Rina's right. Just what the hell happened to us?"
"Who knows?" Coco moaned pathetically from her position on the floor. "I just want it fixed. I want it to go back to the way it was, when no secrets were held between us and we were all best friends..."
Rina nursed her pounding head with Coco's cold water bottle, feeling too lethargic to go fetch an ice pack. "I doubt it can."
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(1) - Kama Sutra - a Japanese book of sex positions. Some come with coloured illustrations.