A Life
Disclaimer: Now comes that part of the fan fic where I am required to state the blatantly obvious in order to avoid being sued. Farscape is not mine! I do not own Aeryn Sun, or Velorec, or Crais, or Xhalex, or Peacekeeper high command. There, doesn't everyone feel better now?
Credits: Teark was created by my BETA reader Erin Cale for use on the "Shippy lil Scaper RPG"(role playing game). So, in other words, yet another character who's not mine. The events of his childhood however are my creation, so in a sense I'm just giving him a past. To EC: Thanks for sharing!
Feedback: Must... get... feedback... or... parish... trying.... Please... take...pity...on...me...send... SEND! Mail it to carlottaq@hotmail.com Thanx!
Archiving: Well, I get so many requests from people desperate to archive my beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, works of literary art... not to mention the thousands of awards I receive... Okay, I'm done living in my little fantasy world now :) . If anyone actually wanted this (Or any of the other pieces I have the audacity to call 'stories') I would be surprised and extremely flattered. That's a yes! Please e-mail first though, so I can jump up and down and do a happy dance. carlottaq@hotmail.com
Censor: PG13 for violence, a bit of gore, and some sexual innuendo.
Warning: Be forewarned that the Aeryn in this story will at times be doing some pretty nasty stuff. She was a peacekeeper, and that's how she lived. Also there will be some sex including underage participants (no descriptions... just implied). You have been forewarned.
Spoilers: Okay, to many to list or remember. Lets just say anything that reveals any piece of Aeryn's past. Especially big spoilers for The Way We Weren't and Thanks for Sharing.
Thanks: To Erin_Cale and her BETA reading skills. Thanks to Birthsister on the Farscape BBoard for suggesting how to fix this fic after it was completely frelled up by information presented in "Thanks For Sharing"
"Why?" Aeryn stood up straight, speaking defiantly to the woman whose ebony hair and stormy gray eyes almost mirrored her own. At six cycles old Aeryn was inquisitive, and her caretaker, Kyrla, knew what a danger her questioning nature would be to her. Kyrla's hand came up against the smooth, pale skin of Aeryn's little face in a hard slap. She began to cry, nobody had ever hit her before. Aeryn was surprised at the coldness in Kyrla's normally gentle voice when she finally spoke.
"You must never ask that question. If you do you'll experience much more pain than you are now." Aeryn continued to sob brokenly, "Wipe your tears child, it is important that you be strong. Now you must always be strong. Always." Kyrla's voice trailed off wistfully, as she finally gave in to her need to take Aeryn into her arms.
"I don't want to leave you." Aeryn whimpered. She was more than a little disturbed by the frown that appeared on Kyrla's face.
"Don't you want to be a soldier?"
"No." Kyrla deposited her charge back on the floor.
"Stand up straight." Kyrla ordered. Aeryn did so. "My dear you have no choice. You must always obey your superiors, and never ask questions. Never speak of me again. This part of your life is over, it will never live again. Do you understand me, Aeryn?"
"No." Kyrla sighed. A large peacekeeper transport touched down in the grass.
"It doesn't matter, there'll be much you don't understand. Be well Aeryn." A tall strong looking man came out of the transport taking Aeryn harshly by the arm. Kyrla nodded at him respectfully.
"I'm scared." Aeryn tried to pull away from the soldier. Kyrla frowned at her.
"You must confront your fears with strength," she said firmly.
"Kyrla..." Aeryn whispered, "I-I love you." Kyrla didn't say anything.
****
The transport was crowded with other children, all of them roughly Aeryn's own age. However the small space was absolutely silent. Aeryn was sad, but she didn't cry; she had seen the way the soldiers looked at children who cried-like they were the lowest imaginable scum, unworthy even of an honorable death. Aeryn took solace from the exciting feeling of the transport's steady motion, and the stars that glimmered like unshed tears in the black velvet of the sky.
There was a young boy sitting pressed up against Aeryn. He was very small, even more so than Aeryn herself, with dark hair and eyes. Aeryn could feel him trembling against her, and knew her body was shaking similarly. She turned toward him, not quite meeting his eyes, and whispered in his ear.
"Who are you?" She kept her voice very quiet, for fear that one of the mean looking soldiers would hear her. Even that very soft sound was enough to make the boy jump. //He'll end up a tech, never a soldier// Aeryn thought somewhat scornfully, although she wasn't certain that she would have reacted any differently.
"Teark," the boy whispered finally. Aeryn smiled at him, enjoying the conspiratorial secretiveness of this communication.
"I'm Aeryn." Teark seemed to relax a bit, and Aeryn herself felt a bit better. She would have spoken further to him, but a stern look from a burly female soldier silenced her for several microts. When the soldier moved on, Teark spoke to her again.
"Do you think you'll be like her when you grow up?" Teark asked. Aeryn found herself staring after the female officer. She was perfectly formed, the picture of health and strength, as she stood rigidly her weapon hanging impressively at her side. She was beautiful, but so cold and dark-and it seemed to Aeryn drained of any real spark of life.
"I'll be... maybe a little different," Aeryn said finally.
"I'll be very different," Teark pledged.
****
Aeryn moved in unison with the other children, in a fierce routine that was made slightly comical by their small size and adorable faces. She had only been aboard the peacekeeper training vessel Nesler for under a weeken, but she already understood these battle exercises well. Her hair was tied back in a braid that was painfully tight, and yet several jet black strands had managed to come loose and stick to her sweat slicked face. She punched and kicked somewhat clumsily at invisible enemies, all the while looking for some sign of approval in her instructor Gbran's face. As usual his face was cold and foreboding, devoid of any passion that was not driven by hatred.
Aeryn was almost knocked over as the girl who was practicing next to her faltered and fell to the ground beside her. The child simply lay there panting, her face flushed bright red from the exertion making her pale blond hair seem almost white. All anarchy broke loose as almost a dozen other young Sebaceans came to crowd around the little girl.
Aeryn exchanged an almost imperceptible glance with Teark as he nudged in closer to her. Then Gbran was there with them, scowling darkly at the fallen girl. His tone of voice was deceptively mild as he ordered every one back to their places. Aeryn obeyed immediately, as did everyone else except of one other little girl. She leaned over the fallen child, touching her red face tenderly.
"Syri's hurt!" The girl's voice was full of childish fury, "Why aren't you helping her?" Why, Aeryn shivered slightly, remembering her mother's warning, and dreading the girl's fate. Why didn't matter, the man was her superior officer, to help her or not was his prerogative and no one else's.
"Resume exercises," Gbran said smoothly. Aeryn once again began to punch at the air, not turning even as the two young girls were dragged from the room. Several microts later Gbran gestured for her and the other children to come closer to him. Aeryn was glad for the break from her exhausting routine. They cautiously sat down, as Gbran began to speak in the soft, patronizing tone of a teacher.
"Now," he began, "Does any body know why we had to get rid of the child Syri?" The room was absolutely silent, nobody dared give an answer for fear they would be punished if it was incorrect. "She is inferior." Gbran's voice was disgusted, "In a regiment, a single weak link can be enough to destroy the entire troop," Gbran pointed to Aeryn, who squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze. "Would you like to fight besides someone who could not even defend herself?"
"No sir." Aeryn's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Do you think it is best to dispose of Syri now?"
"Yes sir." Aeryn was disgusted with the words that came out of her own lips. Teark gave her an angry glance, and Gbran nodded appreciatively.
"You may make a good soldier child." Despite the situation, Aeryn couldn't help feeling slightly proud of the compliment.
"Now... as for her friend." Aeryn was shocked by the malice in his voice as he muttered the word friend as if it were a profanity. "In a battle situation, you do not take time out of a fight in order to help a fallen companion, under any circumstances, and you never show insubordination to a superior officer. You will all learn how dangerous emotional attachments are, especially in a small crew." Gbran took a deep breath, his eyes seeming to burn into Aeryn's, "You are all dismissed."
At Gbrad's order Aeryn began to march stiffly with her young comrades toward the small, Spartan quarters that they shared. Once inside, away from the prying eyes of their superiors, the air of formality dissipated completely. The children moved, clustering into small groups of friends. Aeryn sat alone with Teark on her cot, a position that had become customary for her. Her gray eyes with dark, as she brooded over what had just happened.
"Teark... do you think they killed the girls?"
"Maybe, they were just... made techs." Teark's voice held very little certainty.
"I don't want them to take me away... or you."
"I'm scared," Teark admitted fretfully.
"Me to, but we can't tell anybody that. We just have to pretend we're not. And we have to be the strongest, so that they'll never want to hurt us."
"Will that really stop them?" Teark asked doubtfully.
"Yes, if we're strong, and we only do what they tell us, we'll be safe I think." Aeryn nodded certainly. "We should practice our exercises."
"Now?" Teark whined, "But we just finished and we have class in an arn." Aeryn frowned.
"We want to be the strongest, and exercise makes you strong, so we have to exercise." She explained, jumping up on to her bed, and doing her punching routine. Teark followed her example for a few microts, before he began bouncing on the bed rather than punching the air.
"Teark stop it!" Aeryn exclaimed angrily.
"This is exercise too!" With that Aeryn giggled and joined him.
"I guess it is."
****
Disclaimer: Now comes that part of the fan fic where I am required to state the blatantly obvious in order to avoid being sued. Farscape is not mine! I do not own Aeryn Sun, or Velorec, or Crais, or Xhalex, or Peacekeeper high command. There, doesn't everyone feel better now?
Credits: Teark was created by my BETA reader Erin Cale for use on the "Shippy lil Scaper RPG"(role playing game). So, in other words, yet another character who's not mine. The events of his childhood however are my creation, so in a sense I'm just giving him a past. To EC: Thanks for sharing!
Feedback: Must... get... feedback... or... parish... trying.... Please... take...pity...on...me...send... SEND! Mail it to carlottaq@hotmail.com Thanx!
Archiving: Well, I get so many requests from people desperate to archive my beautiful, wonderful, fantastic, works of literary art... not to mention the thousands of awards I receive... Okay, I'm done living in my little fantasy world now :) . If anyone actually wanted this (Or any of the other pieces I have the audacity to call 'stories') I would be surprised and extremely flattered. That's a yes! Please e-mail first though, so I can jump up and down and do a happy dance. carlottaq@hotmail.com
Censor: PG13 for violence, a bit of gore, and some sexual innuendo.
Warning: Be forewarned that the Aeryn in this story will at times be doing some pretty nasty stuff. She was a peacekeeper, and that's how she lived. Also there will be some sex including underage participants (no descriptions... just implied). You have been forewarned.
Spoilers: Okay, to many to list or remember. Lets just say anything that reveals any piece of Aeryn's past. Especially big spoilers for The Way We Weren't and Thanks for Sharing.
Thanks: To Erin_Cale and her BETA reading skills. Thanks to Birthsister on the Farscape BBoard for suggesting how to fix this fic after it was completely frelled up by information presented in "Thanks For Sharing"
"Why?" Aeryn stood up straight, speaking defiantly to the woman whose ebony hair and stormy gray eyes almost mirrored her own. At six cycles old Aeryn was inquisitive, and her caretaker, Kyrla, knew what a danger her questioning nature would be to her. Kyrla's hand came up against the smooth, pale skin of Aeryn's little face in a hard slap. She began to cry, nobody had ever hit her before. Aeryn was surprised at the coldness in Kyrla's normally gentle voice when she finally spoke.
"You must never ask that question. If you do you'll experience much more pain than you are now." Aeryn continued to sob brokenly, "Wipe your tears child, it is important that you be strong. Now you must always be strong. Always." Kyrla's voice trailed off wistfully, as she finally gave in to her need to take Aeryn into her arms.
"I don't want to leave you." Aeryn whimpered. She was more than a little disturbed by the frown that appeared on Kyrla's face.
"Don't you want to be a soldier?"
"No." Kyrla deposited her charge back on the floor.
"Stand up straight." Kyrla ordered. Aeryn did so. "My dear you have no choice. You must always obey your superiors, and never ask questions. Never speak of me again. This part of your life is over, it will never live again. Do you understand me, Aeryn?"
"No." Kyrla sighed. A large peacekeeper transport touched down in the grass.
"It doesn't matter, there'll be much you don't understand. Be well Aeryn." A tall strong looking man came out of the transport taking Aeryn harshly by the arm. Kyrla nodded at him respectfully.
"I'm scared." Aeryn tried to pull away from the soldier. Kyrla frowned at her.
"You must confront your fears with strength," she said firmly.
"Kyrla..." Aeryn whispered, "I-I love you." Kyrla didn't say anything.
****
The transport was crowded with other children, all of them roughly Aeryn's own age. However the small space was absolutely silent. Aeryn was sad, but she didn't cry; she had seen the way the soldiers looked at children who cried-like they were the lowest imaginable scum, unworthy even of an honorable death. Aeryn took solace from the exciting feeling of the transport's steady motion, and the stars that glimmered like unshed tears in the black velvet of the sky.
There was a young boy sitting pressed up against Aeryn. He was very small, even more so than Aeryn herself, with dark hair and eyes. Aeryn could feel him trembling against her, and knew her body was shaking similarly. She turned toward him, not quite meeting his eyes, and whispered in his ear.
"Who are you?" She kept her voice very quiet, for fear that one of the mean looking soldiers would hear her. Even that very soft sound was enough to make the boy jump. //He'll end up a tech, never a soldier// Aeryn thought somewhat scornfully, although she wasn't certain that she would have reacted any differently.
"Teark," the boy whispered finally. Aeryn smiled at him, enjoying the conspiratorial secretiveness of this communication.
"I'm Aeryn." Teark seemed to relax a bit, and Aeryn herself felt a bit better. She would have spoken further to him, but a stern look from a burly female soldier silenced her for several microts. When the soldier moved on, Teark spoke to her again.
"Do you think you'll be like her when you grow up?" Teark asked. Aeryn found herself staring after the female officer. She was perfectly formed, the picture of health and strength, as she stood rigidly her weapon hanging impressively at her side. She was beautiful, but so cold and dark-and it seemed to Aeryn drained of any real spark of life.
"I'll be... maybe a little different," Aeryn said finally.
"I'll be very different," Teark pledged.
****
Aeryn moved in unison with the other children, in a fierce routine that was made slightly comical by their small size and adorable faces. She had only been aboard the peacekeeper training vessel Nesler for under a weeken, but she already understood these battle exercises well. Her hair was tied back in a braid that was painfully tight, and yet several jet black strands had managed to come loose and stick to her sweat slicked face. She punched and kicked somewhat clumsily at invisible enemies, all the while looking for some sign of approval in her instructor Gbran's face. As usual his face was cold and foreboding, devoid of any passion that was not driven by hatred.
Aeryn was almost knocked over as the girl who was practicing next to her faltered and fell to the ground beside her. The child simply lay there panting, her face flushed bright red from the exertion making her pale blond hair seem almost white. All anarchy broke loose as almost a dozen other young Sebaceans came to crowd around the little girl.
Aeryn exchanged an almost imperceptible glance with Teark as he nudged in closer to her. Then Gbran was there with them, scowling darkly at the fallen girl. His tone of voice was deceptively mild as he ordered every one back to their places. Aeryn obeyed immediately, as did everyone else except of one other little girl. She leaned over the fallen child, touching her red face tenderly.
"Syri's hurt!" The girl's voice was full of childish fury, "Why aren't you helping her?" Why, Aeryn shivered slightly, remembering her mother's warning, and dreading the girl's fate. Why didn't matter, the man was her superior officer, to help her or not was his prerogative and no one else's.
"Resume exercises," Gbran said smoothly. Aeryn once again began to punch at the air, not turning even as the two young girls were dragged from the room. Several microts later Gbran gestured for her and the other children to come closer to him. Aeryn was glad for the break from her exhausting routine. They cautiously sat down, as Gbran began to speak in the soft, patronizing tone of a teacher.
"Now," he began, "Does any body know why we had to get rid of the child Syri?" The room was absolutely silent, nobody dared give an answer for fear they would be punished if it was incorrect. "She is inferior." Gbran's voice was disgusted, "In a regiment, a single weak link can be enough to destroy the entire troop," Gbran pointed to Aeryn, who squirmed uncomfortably under his gaze. "Would you like to fight besides someone who could not even defend herself?"
"No sir." Aeryn's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Do you think it is best to dispose of Syri now?"
"Yes sir." Aeryn was disgusted with the words that came out of her own lips. Teark gave her an angry glance, and Gbran nodded appreciatively.
"You may make a good soldier child." Despite the situation, Aeryn couldn't help feeling slightly proud of the compliment.
"Now... as for her friend." Aeryn was shocked by the malice in his voice as he muttered the word friend as if it were a profanity. "In a battle situation, you do not take time out of a fight in order to help a fallen companion, under any circumstances, and you never show insubordination to a superior officer. You will all learn how dangerous emotional attachments are, especially in a small crew." Gbran took a deep breath, his eyes seeming to burn into Aeryn's, "You are all dismissed."
At Gbrad's order Aeryn began to march stiffly with her young comrades toward the small, Spartan quarters that they shared. Once inside, away from the prying eyes of their superiors, the air of formality dissipated completely. The children moved, clustering into small groups of friends. Aeryn sat alone with Teark on her cot, a position that had become customary for her. Her gray eyes with dark, as she brooded over what had just happened.
"Teark... do you think they killed the girls?"
"Maybe, they were just... made techs." Teark's voice held very little certainty.
"I don't want them to take me away... or you."
"I'm scared," Teark admitted fretfully.
"Me to, but we can't tell anybody that. We just have to pretend we're not. And we have to be the strongest, so that they'll never want to hurt us."
"Will that really stop them?" Teark asked doubtfully.
"Yes, if we're strong, and we only do what they tell us, we'll be safe I think." Aeryn nodded certainly. "We should practice our exercises."
"Now?" Teark whined, "But we just finished and we have class in an arn." Aeryn frowned.
"We want to be the strongest, and exercise makes you strong, so we have to exercise." She explained, jumping up on to her bed, and doing her punching routine. Teark followed her example for a few microts, before he began bouncing on the bed rather than punching the air.
"Teark stop it!" Aeryn exclaimed angrily.
"This is exercise too!" With that Aeryn giggled and joined him.
"I guess it is."
****