"Sam."
I hear his voice and close my eyes.
"Why don't you come join us?"
I shake my head. Four's company, five's a crowd. I don't belong with them. They've given up and I never will. They don't have anything other than SG-1… I have someone waiting for me to find a way back.
"Sam."
"How many times do I have to say no?"
Daniel sits beside me, taking my hand. He's worried, they all are. They can't understand me… I'm wondering if they ever did. The other half of my soul is a lifetime away and there's nothing I can do to get it back.
"We miss you… Teal'c misses you."
And I feel a knife twist in my gut. I never meant to make him care for me. When I split up with Pete I swore I'd never let myself do that again. I'd never settle for anyone to whom I couldn't offer my whole heart. It hurts too much.
"Sam, he'd want you to be happy."
That's the problem… he wouldn't. Sure, he'd say all the right things but he'd be dying inside. I know him better than you, Daniel. You may not think so, but I do. He may have shared his darkest days with you… but you've never held him while he was dying. Never broken his heart. And I won't do that again.
This is real life. There is no reset button. When we get out of here, I want to be able to face him with a clear conscience.
"Okay… but you know where we are if you need anything."
Daniel leaves me alone as he always does. Alone.
Away from prying eyes, I reach for my dog tags and the gold band that hangs between my breasts. My wedding ring. Always. Forever. It's what we promised each other and it's a vow I intend to keep.
I'll be home Jack. A little older, a little wiser but I'll be there.
And I'll love you forever.