It wasn't the first time someone had attempted to run a rival gossip database to upstage Gossip Girl. When Gossip Girl had first taken off, its popularity had inspired the addition of a short-lived gossip column to the school newspaper, which simply hadn't had enough contributing sources, or printed its gossip fast enough to hold its audience's interest. Gossip Girl itself had once been rumored to be the copycat of a less successful and now obsolete Xanga that had been run by an exchange student. And of course there were always the occasional Blogspot accounts popping up that were eventually abandoned by their authors due to their own dwindling interest in running them. Serial gossipers on the Upper East Side were nothing new; this was, however, the first time a Gossip Girl rival had actually had the gumption to set up their own website instead of using a preexisting domain.
Like all the other rivals before it, Page Seven didn't get nearly as many views as Gossip Girl. Unlike the others, it was self-promoted. Whoever the administrator of this blog was, they had left Post-it notes around school bearing nothing but the URL of their website, and a sketch of Gossip Girl's signature, with crossbones for the X's and skulls for the O's.
Eric had visited Page Seven's website only once, out of curiosity. What he had found was a crudely designed homepage that didn't have nearly the amount of features that Gossip Girl had—no button to subscribe for mobile or email updates, no Spotted map, no tags, folders, or any other method of organizing who the posts were about—and the majority of its posts were self-promotional digs at Gossip Girl, with only a few posts containing actual gossip (the topics of which Gossip Girl had already covered, in some cases).
Eric had had a good chuckle over the blog with Jenny, and, after placing bets on how long it would last, he had forgotten all about it. Until one afternoon when his homework was abruptly interrupted as Serena came barging into his room.
"Are you Gossip Girl?" Serena demanded.
Eric, who was lying on his stomach across his bed, looked up from the geometry problem he'd been working on, and for a moment, just stared blankly at Serena. Then he burst out laughing. "Yeah," he said facetiously. "Of course."
Serena's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to speak, but she looked too baffled to know where to begin.
Eric's smile faded. "Wait, are you serious?" he asked, though it seemed like an absurd question.
"That's what that new gossip page is saying," said Serena. "Penelope thinks it makes sense, and she's not the only one."
"What?" Eric asked, pulling himself up into a sitting position and feeling thoroughly perplexed. "Why would anyone think I'm Gossip Girl?"
"You tell me," Serena said, eyeing him warily, and she took a seat on the edge of his bed. "Everyone knows you were in the Ostroff Center, but Gossip Girl's never said a thing about it."
Eric shrugged. "So?" he said. "Why tell everyone something they already know?"
"But 'everyone' didn't know it at first," said Serena. "The only people who knew were us, and people who wouldn't have told anyone. Someone had to find out to spread it around school, but why spread it themselves when telling Gossip Girl would be quicker? Unless they did, and she didn't post about it on purpose. And why else would she keep it a secret? What does she have to lose?"
"I don't know," said Eric. "Maybe she had better things to talk about at the time, and didn't get around to posting it before it was old news."
Serena considered this. "Okay," she said after a moment. "That makes sense, I guess. But then there's the other things."
Eric blinked slowly at her. "What other things?" he asked. How many reasons could there be for someone to believe he was Gossip Girl?
"Well," said Serena, "you do use your computer a lot."
"So does everyone," Eric pointed out.
"But not as much as you."
"That's because everyone else has a social life."
"That's another theory."
"What is?"
"That keeping a gossip blog is how you insert yourself in the middle of the excitement without being directly involved in it. Like it's a fantasy alternative for a real social life."
Eric rolled his eyes so theatrically he knew he must resemble his mother. He was a little less pathetic than that. He didn't even grace that theory with a counterargument.
"And there was one theory," Serena went on, "that journaling could be part of your therapy, that could be what got you started writing about people you go to school with." She leaned toward him. "Gossip Girl got her start my freshman year," she said in a hushed tone, as though she were talking to him about someone else who was walking right past them. "That's the same year you were diagnosed with depression."
Eric leaned in. "The rest of the school doesn't know that," he said, mimicking her conspiratorial tone sarcastically.
"They don't have to," said Serena, straightening up and talking in a normal tone again. "Granted, that's not actually a very popular theory because the timeline doesn't add up as far as everyone else knows; they think you first started getting therapy at Ostroff. But it does add up in real life."
"But the rest of it doesn't," said Eric. "I was in the seventh grade when you were a freshman. We didn't go to school with the same people yet. And, not that it's anyone else's business, but classmate's scandals aren't really high on my list of priorities of things to write about."
Serena gave him a suspicious look.
"What now?" Eric asked with a sigh.
"You've successfully deflected every theory I've given you," Serena said. "It's almost like you've prepared for this."
"It's almost like I'm not Gossip Girl," said Eric. "Serena, have you stopped to think about the fact that you're her favorite target, and that if she really was me, that would mean I've been secretly keeping a blog dedicated to trashing mainly you and your friends for almost three years? Can any of your crazy conspiracy theories explain that?"
Serena hesitated a moment, looking as though she was weighing the pros and cons of answering, and then she said, "Just one."
"What one?" asked Eric. "What could possibly be my motive?"
"Well," Serena said, dropping her gaze and distractedly pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, "Blair's not really sold on the idea of you being Gossip Girl, but she did suggest that maybe…" she looked up at Eric again "…maybe you resent me for always being the center of attention."
Eric drew back slightly, stunned at the implication. "Do you really believe that?" he asked.
"I don't know," Serena said, shrugging and trying to appear nonchalant. "It makes sense. I mean, even before Gossip Girl, the spotlight's always been on me, no matter who we're with. I know it bothers Blair; we've fought about it plenty of times. And I—I don't know, I guess I just think maybe there are things about me you can't stand, and feel like you need an outlet for."
"That's ridiculous," said Eric. "You know anything bad I have to say about you, I just say to your face!"
"No," Serena said, growing more visibly upset, "I don't know that. You don't say bad things about me very often, you know."
"That's because there isn't a lot to say!" Eric half-laughed, hardly believing what he was hearing.
Serena didn't smile. "Gossip Girl doesn't think so," she said flatly.
"Gossip Girl is nothing more than a Perez Hilton wannabe who probably has no life of her own, and doesn't have the guts to take what she deals out, or else she wouldn't stay anonymous," said Eric. "Look, I don't know who she is, and frankly, I don't care. But what I do know is, she's not me. I have better things to do than run a website circulating rumors about people and outing their secrets." As an afterthought, he added admittedly, "I still read them. But Gossip Girl is practically required reading for Constance and St. Jude students if you want to know what everyone around you is freaking out about."
That brought a small smile to Serena's face, and she almost laughed. Eric waited for her to meet his gaze again, and when she did, he continued.
"I'm not Gossip Girl," he assured her. "And even if I were some lonely, online journal keeping, high-school-student-obsessed busybody who knew how to put together a website at age twelve—" now Serena laughed out loud, half amused, half relieved—"I wouldn't write about you the way she does. Especially not since I've seen how you react whenever she posts a rumor or an insulting comment about you, or a detail about your life that's supposed to stay private."
Serena nodded. "I do really hate that," she said, more to herself than to Eric.
"I know," Eric said solemnly. "And I would never do that to you. Can you believe that, at least?"
Serena smiled. "Yeah, I believe you," she said softly.
This made Eric feel more at ease. "Okay," he said. "Good." Then after a moment's hesitation, he asked, "Did you honestly think that I would?"
Serena sighed. "I don't know, Eric," she said. "Everything's just been so crazy since I moved back home. Sometimes it feels like the whole world's against me. I can't do anything right for Mom or Grandma, I can't do enough wrong for Blair, things are still weird between me and Nate, and Dan has this perfect idea of me in his head that I feel compelled to live up to or else I'll let him down. And with Gossip Girl and her informants watching and posting my every move—"
"Kinda makes it easy to believe I might have it out for you, too, huh?"
"Yeah."
Eric nodded understandingly. Now her sudden insecurity about their relationship made sense. "But I'm not someone who's gonna hate you forever when you mess up," he told her. "And I'm not someone you have to prove yourself to. I know a lot's changed this year, but I'm still just your little brother. And you're still my big sister. We're still…" He paused, trying to find the right words to finish that thought.
"Siblings?" Serena offered with a jesting smirk when he didn't continue.
"I was gonna say 'us'," said Eric.
Serena chuckled.
"The point is," Eric went on, "we've always been on the same side, and we've always been able to talk when we had a problem. Nothing has changed that—and nothing's going to."
Serena nodded thoughtfully, and she seemed to relax more and more as his words sank in. "Right," she said softly. "We're us."
For a moment, neither of them said a word. And then the silence was broken as their phones both went off at the same time.
Looking at his phone, Eric was less than thrilled to see that Gossip Girl had just posted, and that he was the subject of the post.
Word on the street is, my identity has finally been revealed. Could I really be Eric van der Woodsen? Hmm. Maybe it really is the quiet ones you've gotta watch. But if you're hoping for confirmation or denial on this rumor from me, you've got another thing coming. Keep guessing, Upper East Siders, because as I've said before—I'll never tell. XOXO, Gossip Girl.
"Well, if you didn't believe me before, that should satisfy you," said Eric. "There's no way I would have had time to post that while I was talking to you."
"Of course I believed you," said Serena. "Although I do have to admit, the timing of that blast is kind of reassuring." Giving Eric a look of mock suspicion, she joked, "You're not Page Seven, are you?"
"Now that's just insulting," Eric said, maintaining a perfectly deadpan expression.
Serena giggled, but she nodded her head thoughtfully. "Yeah," she mused, "Page Seven's layout really sucks. Also, I'm pretty sure they spelled 'van der Woodsen' with an O at the end."
"You'd think someone who reads Gossip Girl that much would know it's an E," Eric said, shaking his head in amazement. "I mean it's right there in front of you all the time."
Serena nodded. "Although at least that rules out both of us." Then after a moment she shrugged and said, "Oh, well, onto the next conspiracy theory."
"Right," said Eric. "Back to solving the mystery of Gossip Girl's identity. Next you'll be thinking she's…" he searched his brain for the most unlikely name he could come up with. "Rufus Humphrey."
Serena's eyes widened slightly and she tilted her head in thought, and Eric could practically hear the whir of the wheels turning in her head.
"Uh, Serena," he said, "that was a joke. You're not seriously considering the idea of Rufus being Gossip Girl now, are you? Serena?"
She didn't respond.
"Serena?" Eric said again, a little louder.
"Huh?" said Serena, coming down from her train of thought. "Oh, no, yeah, of course."
Eric cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Um. Listen," Serena said suddenly, sporting a bad poker face, "I've taken up enough of your study time, I'm just gonna go over to Blair's and discuss…shoes."
Eric sighed. "Serena," he started, but she was already on her way out. He shook his head as she left, just imagining the ridiculous discussion she and Blair were undoubtedly about to have on this newfound theory of Rufus as Gossip Girl. But he smiled in spite of himself, and, in the ostentatious tone he always imagined Gossip Girl writing her blasts in, thought, You know you love her.