A Slash Fan fiction
A work by Arnold J. Rimmer BSc SSc
A note of explanation: You may remember for some months we
were plagued by a man who post indecent works of fiction based upon yours truly,
Arnold Rimmer. A truly evil man. That's the writer, not me. In the face of
these travesties, I used Kryten's time paddle to send e-mails to the 21st
century. I asked the author, whom I shall refer to as TPB to cease and desist
with his ramblings. He did not. In fact, he began to post his work on other
websites. Pathetic! All this despite having been warned that I would write
stuff about this 'gentleman' in return. My threats have been ignored and I can
only go as far as to say that I really pity this man. In fact, only
yesterday, I spoke to Lister about it and he seemed quite amused as well. Yes, the minute I mentioned I was using Kryten's time paddle to write threatening emails to someone in the
21st century had him on
the floor in stitches. He
stated that "this was typical of you, man". He is right. Listy knows that I am not a man to give up a fight. If someone throws a double 6 in Risk,
you will not see me retreat from the table.
Anyway, I said that if you were not careful, I would
write some fic about TPB. Well, here we go.
Starbug
by
Arnold J
Rimmer
TPB was sat at the kitchen table playing
poker with Listy, the Cat, and Kryten, and Rimmer, and Kill Crazy, who had some how made it on the ship.
They were playing strip poker. They could do this
because they were strapping men, who were comfortable with their sexuality. Suddenly, Kill Crazy put down his
cards.
"I love you TPB" He said,
"I love you
too" said TPB,
They kissed and then went back to TPB's room to
have gay man sex. The other guys sat and watched Die Hard because they were men. Grrr!
The End.
Well, I hope that puts you in your place, Mr TPB.