DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters, they belong to JK.

SUMMARY: A simple dare in James' mind is nothing compared to what's in Sirius's.

A/N: I feel bad, but these characters are definitely OOC.

REPULSIVE

"Come on Padfoot! You have to do it you know, you made the Vow." James chided.

Everyone around was giggling furiously. "Guys, I don't think I should do this. It doesn't feel right." Right? Haha, it felt absolutely terrible. I would feel guilty for a long time, I could feel it.

"It's just Snivellus, it'll be quick. Where's that Gryffindor courage?" James taunted. You know, for a best friend, he could be a real arse.

I turned and looked at Remus. His expression said, more or less: 'Hey, it was your choice I told you if you agreed to it you would regret it'. Thanks, real supportive.

"Do it, Do it, Do it!" They began chanting. I looked across the grounds where Severus was sitting harmlessly up against a tree. Yeah- that's right I called him Severus. I hate how James taunts him, but I know that I have to or I wouldn't have friends. Sometimes I wonder which is better. You see- Snape is a seriously misunderstood kid, and I admire him from afar. I can't tell anyone, but I get the feeling Remus knows.

"Sirius, you have to do it." Right, I made the Vow. Not the Unbreakable Vow, but if I did break this, it would cause some sort of embarrassment that I really didn't want to find out what it was.

"It's just a quick peck, nothing drastic- we wouldn't make you have to live through that one mate."

Well, here it goes. I hurried over to where Snape was sitting and stopped. I glanced back at everyone watching. My heart started racing, I didn't think I could do this. He looked up at me.

I was shaking, I could feel it. By the look in his eyes, I could see he was afraid I was going to hurt him.

"I- er- I'm really sorry about this mate, but er- I sorta have to…" So I grabbed him by his robes and pulled him up, turned back to make sure they were watching, and looked back to Severus.

Crash. Our lips met briefly and I pulled back to see a face of shock, my own felt hot. I was blushing. I let go of him, then stared for a minute before a felt my eyes watering. I blinked and turned to go, then turned back, "I really am sorry, that must have repulsed you." Then I ran back.

"See Padfoot, it wasn't so bad." James nudged my shoulder playfully, and everyone clapped my back.

I looked at Remus again, he gave me a nod of understanding.

"Well, that was fun and all, but I have stuff to do." I started to leave.

"Where're you going Sirius?" James asked.

"I have stuff to do James."

I went to the library, not sure why exactly; but it seemed to comfort me. I found a deserted corner and grabbed the nearest book and plopped down to hide from the world.

A few minutes later I heard a cough and Lily was in front of me. "Sirius," she looked at me sympathetically, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I looked back down at my book.

"Well that's a lie if I ever heard one." She chuckled and sat next to me. "Are you going to tell me, or will I have to force it out of you?"

"Well… we were playing Truth or Dare…" She sighed.

"Of course, go on."

"And… I- I was dared to er- kiss someone. I didn't want to do it, because I knew it would hurt him, but I had to. We made a vow, and if broken- something embarrassing would happen- though I don't know what." I stopped, not knowing if I should say more.

"Him? Who was this?" She asked confused.

"It doesn't matter… the point is that I wish I hadn't have done it, and that it's going to affect me for a while." I sighed hopelessly.

"Sirius, do you like this person," She put a hand on my shoulder comfortingly, "as more than a friend?"

"Er- well- it's complicated. You see- I admire them from afar, but- I don't think we would ever be friends…" I looked down. Not only had I just confessed to Lily I had a crush on someone I couldn't have (which was rare), but I just confessed that I'm… not just into girls.

"Sirius," She whispered, "will you tell me who it is? I promise, I won't tell."

"I- I can't. You'd be mad at me, at James…" Oh, there you go Sirius, getting too comfortable, that just gave it away.

"James? Sirius, tell me." I could see her getting frustrated.

"Er-" Then I mumbled his name.

"Sn- Snape." All at once, her face matched the color of her hair.

"I can't believe him! James Potter! I'm going to murder him!" She clutched her wand tightly and jumped up.

"Lily!" I grabbed her arm.

"Oh, Sirius… I- I'm sorry." She bent over and hugged me. "Does anyone else know?"

"I haven't told anyone but… I think Remus knows." I looked down.

She lifted my chin up, "Sirius, if there's anything I can do…"

"No, thanks Lily, I'm just glad I told someone," I stopped suddenly, "You wouldn't-"

"Never," She hugged me again "I'm going to go kill James now, would you like to come with?"

"No, you go ahead. I'd kind of like to be by myself for a while." She nodded, then left.

About a half an hour later, I decided to take a walk. With my mind wandering so much, I hadn't noticed where I was going until I found myself at the entrance to the owlry. I walked in and found that I wasn't alone.

I stopped short when I saw him standing there. I hesitated, not knowing what to do. He looked at me with a face of: well, I wasn't quite sure, it could have been hatred.

"I-" I started to say something, but thought better of it, so I turned to leave.

"Why, why did you do it?" I froze, his voice was less confident than usual, but I knew he could hex me into oblivion.

I turned back, "They dared me, and I made a vow."

"So, then why are you sorry? Sorry for yourself because I'm that awful, or just sorry that you didn't think of it before?" I had never seen him like this before.

"I-"

"Well, Black; congratulations, you really did it. You and Potter's torture over the entire time I've been at Hogwarts has paid off, if your goal was to break me: then you did it." He started to shove past me, but without thinking I grabbed his wrist before he could exit through the door: which was a stupid idea on my part, because he was gifted in the dark arts.

"Black," He growled, "Don't test me."

I loosened my grip, but didn't let go: however frightened I was.

"Just, hear me out okay?" I began nervously. "Do you remember what I said?"

He nodded, "You were sorry,"

"And?" I questioned.

"That… I must have been repulsed." He said slowly, unsurely.

"Right, well… were you not?" That was a stupid thing to ask… of course he was.

"Why are you asking me this, and why are we having a civilized conversation?" He asked frazzled.

"Because Severus, I just want to clear a burden… how did that break you?"

His breath visibly caught, and he looked at me with awe.

"What?" What did I say?

"You just… said my name…" He stuttered.

I did what?! I didn't… how could I possibly be so dumb, so unguarded? "I- er- I always… think of you as… Severus… I just… never say it…" Way to go.

"Oh," He seemed to be speechless, but remembered my question. "It broke me because it hurt me. Despite what you and your friends must think, I'm a person… and I do have feelings. What burden exactly?"

"That I'm sorry for everything I've done to you, and that I see it hurts, but know my heart is never in it. I wish I could say the same for James." I continued more confidently, "It may seem like I'm a big social able show-off, and I can be, but, without James- I'm just lost. It's easy to stick by his side because of his ego, he gives me the confidence I need, but at a price."

"What price is that?"

"That every day I have to see him hurt people, even help him sometimes... especially the ones that I admire." I looked away.

There was silence for a while, and I walked over to the ledge and leaned out the window looking at the stars. I gave it my all, well mostly; I just hope he knows that.

A long time passed by, so I thought he left. To my surprise, however, I heard him next to me.

"Sirius…"

It was my turn to catch my breath, my heart stopped as well. He said my name.

"You're shaking…" He pointed out

"I'm cold." I muttered in reply.

I turned to look at him; he was visibly hesitating over something.

"Look Severus I-" But I was cut off when a pair of lips connected to my own.

It was sweet and passionate, and nothing like before. I grabbed his arms and softly pushed him against the balcony, so as to get a better perspective. We only stopped when we ran out of breath.

He gazed into my eyes, his onyx depths piercing me with emotions and said, "Sirius, you could never repulse me."

I smiled, and he smiled back. The first genuine smile I had ever seen from him, and certainly not that last.

So, was it horribly OOC or tolerable? I'm debating whether I should continue into another chapter or so, any thoughts? For those of you reading my story: The Coward and the Lion, I promise an update is coming soon: I did not forget about it. I just get these ideas sometimes- well all the time XD , and I never write them down, so I'm getting into a habit of it. Tell me what you think.