This is almost entirely shadow's cat's fault, considering I don't even know all that much about Scrubs. Accordingly, it is less funny than the others. (sorry :D xD)
J.D.
X- fall
A, B, Y- stare off into the distance while you think about random things
R and L to attempt to flirt with Eliot
Hold up to talk to Turk
Hold down to hang on to Dr. Cox like a little puppy
Hold left to talk to Carla
Hold right to make stupid jokes
A, B, A, B, up, down- INNER MONOLOGUE
Dr. Cox
A, B, Y- teach/demoralise interns
Hold X to flirt with Carla
Hold down to give dating advice to Barbie
Hold up to call JD by a girl's name
Hold left to call Turk Gandhi
Hold right to nag Kelso
R and L to gloat
A, up, B, down- Give a long, slightly off-topic metaphor. (Dialog Box: C'mon Mary!)
USELESS BONUS CHARACTER- Eliot
All buttons- Whine about life
R and L- have sex with random guy
A, B, B, A, down, up- Say 'Frick'