As All Good Things Must
As Teana hurried through the crowded mall to the ice cream stand she got the shock of her life once she came close.
"Subaru?" Incredulous, Teana glanced down at her watch to make sure. "It's ten minutes until nine!"
Subaru chuckled sheepishly but said belligerently, "I'm not always late to everything!"
"Oh yeah?" Teana countered. "Name one occasion—other than for training—when you've been on time."
Without even making the pretence of thinking, Subaru pouted, complaining, "Tea, you're always so mean to me!"
"And you're even early this time!"
"Tea!"
As they bickered, Teana couldn't hold back her smile anymore. It was comforting, the solid, familiar way they interacted with each other. She ordered her usual vanilla and chocolate cone, and was surprised again when Subaru ordered the same instead of her usual monstrosity. Deciding to let that one go, Teana nudged Subaru with her elbow.
"Come on, you promised me a whole day of shopping!"
Subaru nodded and laughed, taking Teana's free hand in her own. She paused, blinked, and looked down at their joined hands. Confused, Teana also looked down. "Oh, sorry…did you poke yourself?" She tilted her hand until she could see the glinting diamond on the traditional gold band. "It's funny, I never thought that I would be a jewellery fan, you know?"
"Hm," Subaru grunted noncommittally, then tugged her along. "So you're finally wearing it now."
"I couldn't have worn it before, it would have given things away…and I just wasn't ready for it then," Teana admitted, blushing. "I'm so glad I finally worked up the courage to tell everyone last night at Hayate-san's party. Vice had joked that he spent half a year's salary for a 'pendant' that I wore under my shirt."
"Hm."
"Caro and Erio joked that they wouldn't forgive me for only telling you before and not them, even though we're all friends."
"I—" Subaru paused, staring at something and completely unaware that her ice cream was melting over her fingers. "Hey, isn't that Fate-san?"
Teana turned to look. "And that's Nanoha-san, isn't it?" Both the Aces were dressed in nondescript clothing and were seated in the window seat of the most expensive restaurant at the mall. "Must be lucky to be on an Ace's pay to be able to afford that, huh Subaru?" She couldn't help feeling an odd sense of daring curiosity… "Want to find out what they're saying?"
She expected Subaru to fan-girl and squeal at the thought, even though the years had dimmed her hero-worship of Nanoha a little. But Subaru shook her head.
"I don't think we should disturb them."
"Aw, why not?"
Subaru nodded towards the pair. "Because it looks like Nanoha-san saying something pretty serious to Fate-san. I think she's finally confessing her feelings."
"Whoa, what—Nanoha-san has something for Fate-san?!" Teana's jaw dropped in awe and she surveyed the pair critically. "I always thought that Yuuno-san and Fate-san both had something for Nanoha-san, but that she was interested in neither of them…"
"No," Subaru said. "I just think that Nanoha-san was good at hiding how she really felt."
"She's good then," Teana chuckled, smiling as she saw Fate's face go through confusion, then fearful hope and finally teary elation as Nanoha spoke ardently and earnestly to her across the table. "I always thought that she was just married to her job."
"I think that she was stuck between—whoa…" Subaru stared dazedly as Fate and Nanoha moved closer to each other and kissed intensely, their hands coming up to tangle in the other's hair.
Scowling, Teana jerked Subaru away, spinning them around to tear her friend's eyes off of the couple. "Stop drooling Subaru, it'll make you look like a perv."
"But that was hot," Subaru protested, making Teana's face go red.
"Urgh! They were…they were our teachers! I'm not thinking about this…I've just wiped that statement from my memory…"
They continued their shopping, finishing their ice cream cones and making a quick stop at the washrooms to clean off their sticky hands. They hit a weapons store first and drooled over the latest state-of-the-art Devices and weaponry, then frequented a few clothing stores and Teana managed to trick Subaru into trying on a dress. In retaliation Subaru dared her to model lingerie in the next store, surprised Teana by taking a picture and teased her about sending it to all their friends.
Two minutes later, Teana left the store with a new set of underwear, while Subaru sported a new bump on her head and was short one photo and fifty credits for her appeasement gift.
Finally they settled on the edge of the mall fountain, putting their bags down with a sigh. Teana stretched her legs out and looked over at her best friend, who was holding a coin in her hand with her eyes closed and her lips moving slightly. Subaru tossed her coin into the fountain, watching it settle with the other copper and silver pieces shining under the wavering light coming through the glass ceiling.
"What did you wish for?" Teana asked.
Subaru hesitated then said, "For a bit of luck in love."
Teana laughed, her tone light and humoured. "Come on."
"I could use it," Subaru gave her a half-smile. "My very short track record hasn't been that great."
"But weren't you in love with me?" Teana teased, but a glimpse at Subaru's tense and miserable face made her smile fall.
Subaru let go of Teana's hand.
"I am," Subaru said dully, her eyes bleak. "I was. Does it really matter now?" Her subsequent wince showed that she clearly hadn't intended on saying that.
Teana stared at her, speechless, before she finally got her bearings again. "God, Subaru!" she exclaimed, pushing her fingers through her bangs. "Of course it matters! Why didn't you ever tell me?" But she did, Teana remembered with a sinking heart. But…how could Teana have known that Subaru had meant it so seriously? They had been fifteen, for god's sake!
"What did you think, Tea?" cried Subaru. "That I would wait for you forever? That even though I knew that you didn't love me back the same way, I was going to keep on hoping?" She shook her head, her tone dropping back to morosely apathic. "I gave up hoping a long time ago."
Angrily, Teana clenched her fists. "You don't know how I feel!" she hissed, and to her horror she felt tears beginning to gather in her eyes. "How can you decide just like that, without even talking about it with me? For all you knew—"
"When Vice asked you out, you said yes." Subaru clasped her fingers loosely in her lap, one leg twitching. "When he asked you to be his girlfriend, you said yes. And when he asked you to marry him…" Subaru looked up, and Teana almost wished that she hadn't, so that the gunfighter didn't have to look into her best friend's wounded eyes. "You said yes. So is there really anything left to say?"
Teana opened her mouth, but she had no words. She sat and stared at Subaru for a moment, then got up and walked away, her head down-turned and bumping indiscriminately into other shoppers.
"Goodbye, Tea," she heard Subaru say, her voice soft but loud enough for Teana to hear.
**o**
I'm scared.
I'm unsure…I need you Subaru. The world is spinning so fast, but you always had a knack of making everything feel okay. I need you right now.
I wish things didn't turn out this way.
**o**
Teana had barely began to pound on the door of the Nakajima residence when it opened mid-knock. "Teana," Ginga said, her demeanour melancholic.
"Can I speak with Subaru?" Teana shifted awkwardly—the way she had left Subaru the day before made her ashamed once her anger had worn off overnight. After pacing around their apartment all morning, Vice had finally kicked her out and told her not to come home until she had worked things out with her best friend.
Her question made Ginga wilt more. Sighing, Ginga reached into her jacket and pulled out a folded note, handing it to Teana, who took it automatically before looking at it in confusion. "What's this?"
"Subaru asked me to give this to you."
Dread crept in thickening ice trails through her heart. Slowly, Teana unfolded the sheet.
A week ago, I signed a ten-year contract to a TSAB border post. My ship leaves right after our shopping trip, and I asked Gin-nee to give you this letter.
I wanted to leave you with a happy memory. I'm sorry that I couldn't do that for you, and for me, so that we can remember our time together as something light and carefree.
I know that you do love him. I can see it in your eyes. And he loves you too.
I'm sorry that I can't be there for you anymore, but I'm not strong enough to do it while knowing how things were going to be between us. I'm sorry, Tea.
Subaru
Everything was numb and surreal. Subaru couldn't really be… "She's gone?" Teana asked dazedly.
"Her ship left yesterday."
Teana just stood there, shaking, not knowing what to do next. This couldn't be happening…just yesterday morning Subaru was here. They had eaten ice cream together. Through a haze, she could hear Ginga continue speaking.
"She wrote a different letter for me to give to you until yesterday, when she gave me that right before she left…" Ginga hesitated, then held out a second envelope, the original letter. "Do you want to read it?"
Minutely, Teana nodded. "Please."
She slit open the envelope carefully and pulled out the folded sheets of paper. The words in this one were scripted with meticulous attention, as if they had been rewritten many, many times in thrown-away drafts.
Teana began reading. And the further through the letter that she read, the more tears began to slide silently down her cheeks. When she got to the end, Teana began to cry, a single simple phrase above Subaru's scrawled signature making her heart break.
**o**
I never got to say that back to you…and now it's too late. It's too late for anything.
I wish things didn't turn out this way.
**o**
Author's Note: Blame or thank RadiantBeam for this, she gave me a challenge to write another story showing Teana's perspective!
Now I don't want to raise people's hopes up, but there's been discussion on Animesuki forums for me to write a third short to round off this story…I've been giving it some thought, but my biggest concern is this: Are there enough things left unresolved that require another installment?
Whatever I decide to do with this Subaru x Teana x Vice triangle, thanks to everyone who read and to those who reviewed!