A/N: My cute/sexy spin on the unmasking scene. Okay, in real life no one does this. No one just goes "Oh my angel's really a human and he is deformed and he threw me on the floor in rage and now we kissed and now I love him and let's sex!" No. However, this is FanFiction. And in FanFiction, sex can be caused by anything. So roll with me, okay? Then Review please :D
Ps. I am going to try to avoid "Why me? Erik" as I call him. But I am sorry if a little whining slips through.
I did a lot of this listening to Love Never Dies. X/ Mehhhhhh…sequels are not always a good idea, ALW.
Christine POV
That song…so familiar.
It was like a lullaby you grew up listening to every night as a child but had not heard in years. It struck something deep inside of me. It made me feel…light, safe, and happy.
I smiled joyfully.
The amazing black gown I wore had deep golden swirls enveloping the silky fabric, while my hair bounced loosely around my shoulders. I felt so beautiful. A man danced with me, though I couldn't see who he was. My mystery suitor and I twirled around and around to the cheerfully ominous music. Slowly I spun; almost seeming to be floating. I could have stayed in that moment forever.
Sadly, the song soon tore me away from my mysterious partner and awoke me to a world so mystic I almost believed it to be the dream.
For a moment there was that feeling of absolute confusion and panic when you wake up in a new place. I had experienced it for quite a few mornings after I came to live at the opera. It's that moment where you have no idea where you are, how you got there …or why a monkey figurine was staring you. Well okay, so that last one was sort of a special case. It took me a moment to realize that the figurine was the source of the music.
I lay there for a moment taking in my surroundings, and the previous night slowly came to me piece by piece.
Mon ange…where was he: this man who claimed to be my angel? I did not remember lying down in a bed, let alone a peacock bed. What exactly had happened last night?
Had we…? Oh God, no! Surely I would remember something like that!
Slowly I arose from the golden bird. My feet were greeted with what looked like a fur rug. I curiously examined it by wiggling my feet deep into its depths. I walked toward the sheer, black lace curtain that held me in. It seemed like a giant spider web with candles flickering on the other side to draw me into its trap.
Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly…
The smooth material of the barrier felt oddly enticing against my hand as I pulled it back in curiosity.
As I removed the drape, my eyes grew wide.
The world that greeted me couldn't be real. There was no way such a world could possibly exist under The Opera Populaire, or anywhere else for that matter. It glistened with candlelight, causing the shadows to dance in odd mesmerizing fashions. Shimmering water lay out in front of me, softly lapping against the shore. Colorful fabrics draped lazily here and there...
I remembered when I first came to the opera. It had seemed such an amazing place to me at such a young age. All the lights, the costumes, just the size of it had overwhelmed me. I had used to think it magical. At the moment, however, it seemed shabby and unimpressive. I now looked at this world…this buried fantasy, with the awed gaze of a small child.
Then I saw him.
He sat bent over his organ, still as a statue except for his right hand which scribbled furiously across a piece of parchment. He seemed unaware of my awakening. I was torn between approaching him and retreating back into my room in fear.
What would I say? What would he say?
I was in a trance. I remembered it all: the mysterious masked figure in my mirror…the gondola…his touch. Oh God, his touch! If that was a dream I wish to never wake up again. Without consciously making a decision, I stepped forward. Thoughts from the night before still swam in my head. I was still trying to make sense of it all.
I remember there was mist.
Swirling mist upon a vast glassy lake…
There were candles all around
And on the lake there was a boat…
And in the boat there was a man…
He finally looked up at me. He seemed surprised to see me, which I found slightly amusing. My host seemed to have forgotten he had brought me here. Or perhaps he was just as nervous about this reunion as I was?
It seemed unlikely. How could a man such as he be anything but confident?
Hesitantly, I descended down the stairs unsure of where to go from there. I felt like everything I had known about my angel was a lie. However,even with all that had happened last night, I knew that nothing could make the years between us go away. We had been together for so long... I would have to learn more about mon ange as a man.
I would have to start now. My body was practically shaking with nervousness.
Who was that shape in the shadows?
Whose is the face in the mask?
I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was so beautiful. I had never been able to picture my angel. Now he was all too real. Granted, I had never thought of him as this dark being…but in some way that made him all the more alluring. His emerald eyes blazed at me while I approached him, making me shiver.
As I neared him he turned forward as if he was afraid of me.
Why did he feel the need to hide from me? He was my angel first and foremost. This revelation changed nothing. Why was he wearing a mask: to maintain some aspect of mystery? That was hardly necessary, though the mask did make me quite curious.
I was aware of this new feeling in me as I approached him. It was a tingling inside of myself I had never felt before.
Without being fully aware of my actions I reached out and touched his face, only slightly. In that moment where I was able to physically touch him, to know that he was truly there, and not a figment, is one moment I will always remember. I cupped his jaw gently just reveling in the sensation of his skin on mine. I began stroking his face, eager for more of him, curiosity and longing controlled me.
For a brief moment, I wanted to withdraw and beg forgiveness for such an unbelievably disrespectful action toward my master. But then he pressed his cheek into the palm of my hand; encouraging me.
Oh, mon ange…
I felt his slight stubble and hard jaw along my fingertips. I longed for more of him than this piece I was allowed. The mask blocked the way with my right hand. Still lost in the moment, I ran my fingers along the edge.
I didn't mean to do it. My mind was distracted and the mask was just an obstacle to be overcome.
And so it was.
I slowly pulled it away it from his face, eager to experience more of him.
In an instant my bubble of absolute peace was shattered. Before I could even process what happened, I was harshly thrown on the floor. I sat on the cold stone, staring up at my avenging angel. The right side of his face was covered by his hand, while the other side glowered at me in pure hatred.
Damn you!
You little prying Pandora!
You little demon, this is what you wanted to see!
I caught sight of what the mask had been hiding and my eyes widened. It was awful! It was bright red and blotchy, the skin sagged loosely, veins were visible over most of it, and his sad looking eye held no eyebrow. I understood why he had been trying to keep it from me. I felt pity for him. However, I doubt that was what he wanted.
I instantly wanted to apologize, but knew that the damage was done.
Curse you!
You little lying Delilah!
You little viper!
Now you cannot ever be free!
Damn you! Curse you!
What did that mean? Was he was never going to let me leave?
I had no desire to hurt or betray him. That was the last thing I wanted. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I looked at him. His rage had dimmed into a guarded sense of self loathing.
Stranger than you dreamt it,
Can you even dare to look?
Or bear to think of me
This loathsome gargoyle who burns in Hell
But secretly yearns for Heaven!
Secretly Secretly
Never did I expect my angel to have flaws. Angels were perfect weren't they? This revelation felt odd. However, his deformity didn't change anything. He needed to realize that. I didn't think he was in the mood to listen to me, however.
At that moment, I realized I feared my angel. How could he come to hate me so? My actions had been foolish and ignorant, but surely he did not think me so awful as to shun him for his deformity? I did not want to believe he would hurt me, but I was at his mercy here.
Oh… Christine
He turned his gaze to me for a short moment and my heart broke. I suddenly understood.
He had been hurt.
Not just by me, but by others. Years of pain and distrust ran deep in those emerald gems. It all made sense.
My fear dissolved instantly. The tears in my eyes silently ran down my cheeks. I pledged to myself silently that I would never hurt my angel like that again. Furthermore, I would protect him from anyone who wished to do him harm. I hoped to never see that look in his eyes again.
Fear can turn to love
You'll learn to see, to find the man
Behind the monster, this
Repulsive carcass, who seems a beast
But secretly dreams of beauty.
Secretly, secretly
Careful to keep his deformity out of view, he slowly sat a safe distance from me on some steps. He refused to meet my gaze.
There was no Angel of Music, I know that now. There was no pure divinity as there had been in my dreams. There was only a man who feared and loved me, and hated and pitied himself. Before me, lay a living breathing man. I had to find the words to make up for what I had done, but I could find none. How can you find the words to build up a man that you have just shattered?
I struggled to think of an adequate apology.
"I'm sorry" I whispered.
Well that was a start.
He slowly looked up, although he said nothing. Those words seemed to surprise him. To me they were nothing, only the beginning of what I owed him.
Silence passed for what was probably only a few seconds, but what seemed like hours. "I shouldn't…" I forced myself to breath so as to hold back the tears and produce a comprehensible answer, "I didn't mean to…upset you" Perhaps that was an understatement. When he didn't rebuke my apology I became slightly braver and scooted closer to him without looking up.
"I just wanted…" What? What had I wanted? I let out a defeated sigh and met the cold stare of the mask "I don't know what I wanted, but I truly am sorry" I looked up briefly, but he wasn't looking at me anymore.
"However" I kept my eyes on him as I continued, "You are wrong. I did not do it to hurt you or out of some horrible curiosity."
Silence.
I had said all I needed to. Wordlessly, I handed his mask to him. He just stared at it a moment before gently taking it from me. His one uncovered eye met mine in a silent 'thank you'. He placed his mask on once more.
It startled me when he suddenly stood up and cleared his throat awkwardly, "Ahem…Come, we must return. Those two fools who run my theatre will be missing you" I saw the emotion he was trying to hide as he turned away.
I didn't move. This man, this 'fallen angel'…he had all but professed love to me (hadn't he?), then struck me down and yelled profanities at me, and now he was practically ordering me into the boat so as to return me home.
Like nothing had happened.
After taking a brief moment to wipe my face clean of tears, I stood. However, instead of going to the boat, I approached my host slowly and cautiously.
He seemed unnerved by this turn of events. My Angel's eyes turned from nervous to defensive as I got nearer.
If I left now, leaving things in this awkward state…I just wasn't going to let that happen to us. It would set our whole odd relationship back. I moved toward him and took his hand firmly. His eyes shot down fearfully, as if it were a venomous snake, before looking up at me.
Fear can turn to love…
The words came unbidden to my mind. Perhaps this was true for us both. I suddenly realized that weird feeling from earlier had resurfaced ten-fold. It made me want to run away from all of this. It also made me want kiss him. Was this what love felt like?
I wasn't sure I liked it.
His eyes were filled with panic, as if waiting for me to strike him. So many questions flickered through my mind before I finally asked, "Why do you hide from me?" My voice came out as a whisper.
His eyes darkened and body stiffened "Why? You have to ask why, Christine? Did you not see?" My angel snarled, turning sharply and ripping his hand from my grip. "I am a monster" He told himself, walking away from me.
"I saw" I assured him, "And I saw no monster. I saw only a man"
He didn't look at me and I wanted to sigh. He was so difficult! Then again, he always had been, I thought ruefully.
"Do you think me so cruel that I would judge you for what you cannot control? Abandon you?"
Silence.
Hurt, I moved around to where he faced. I refused to have him ignore me like this. He looked at me as I came to a stop in front of him, and I was able to meet his eyes "I do not fear you. I wish to know you"
"I-I am sorry" He murmured, finally "I did not wish to hurt you" His eyes were filled with emotions I couldn't decipher, "Just please, do not ask me to remove my mask again. I cannot bear to lose you. So many others have run at my appearance" He sounded so beaten and bruised. "To have you leave me…" His words trailed off.
I reached out slowly to caress the exposed side of his face, causing him to flinch at the contact. It hurt to have him recoil like that, but it was not unexpected. I met his gaze and gave a small smile to reassure him. He seemed to gradually relax. It was like coaxing a wild animal. After a moment, he closed his eyes and leaned into my embrace as he had earlier.
"Mon belle ange" I cooed. I hope my words expressed my feelings for him, "Nothing could tear me from you"
His eyes seemed to scan every detail of my body, causing me to shiver. As he took a step forward my breathing deepened. He placed his large hand on my cheek, in mirror of my own motion.
I could have melted under his touch.
Suddenly, I just felt something: a need to be closer to him. Whether for comfort or something else I couldn't understand, I needed him. My brain was telling me to stop, telling me that what I was doing was crazy. However, everything else was much louder. I stretched upward and softly brushed my lips against his. I hoped he couldn't tell how nervous I was.
He froze.
I held there for a moment in test of his reaction, letting my hands wandered up his chest. Something must have clicked in his brain after a moment. My angel suddenly seemed to come alive. His hands wrapped themselves around my waist, like a vise. Instantly, I was pulled possessively against his body. I smiled against his lips and locked my arms around the back of his neck.
Our kiss was clumsy and desperate at first. However, as we went on, it fell into a beautiful rhythm. His tongue slid against my bottom lip, and I returned the favor by granting him entrance. He growled deeply in his chest at my invitation and wasted no time. Our tongues danced slowly together, getting used to each other, and finding the other's weaknesses. Pleasure ran down my body to my toes.
He tasted amazing, like the most intoxicating wine I could imagine. I moaned deeply into his mouth in pleasure, but soon had to pull away for breath.
"In my wildest dreams…" He muttered breathily against my mouth, our lips almost touching. "I could not have imagined kissing you, being so…" He seemed to be at a lost for words. My Angel finally leveled his gaze with mine "Perfect"
A bright blush spread across my cheeks. "I believe some credit goes to you" I smiled.
He chuckled throatily before moving down to kiss a trail down my neck. I felt his tongue flick out and taste me occasionally. A soft moan escaped my lips, which made him smile. I tried to focus on breathing and not collapsing.
A thought suddenly crossed my mind and I pulled back to look at him. My hands moved to his broad chest. He looked concerned when I did so, but I smiled reassuringly. "I must ask you, what is your name?" I felt awful for not asking earlier.
His body became rigid and there was such a long pause, I wondered if he would answer.
"Erik. My name was Erik." His eyes were very far away, seeing things I could only guess at.
I smiled timidly, "Eternal ruler"
His gaze flashed down to me. He seemed surprised that I had known that. "Yes"
"It fits" I commented shyly. He looked embarrassed by my statement which caused me to giggle softly. I nuzzled the crook of his neck "Hmm…Erik" The feel of his name on my tongue was odd. He almost seemed to purr at the sound of it. "Of course…" I murmured "You are still and will always be mon ange" I gave a playful nip to his neck.
Growling, he moved me backwards. I ended up being pushed against a wall that wasn't too far behind me. He was suddenly crushing me against it with a feral look in his eyes. I was surprised as I felt his-er…"need" press hard against me. However, my instincts seemed to flicker on automatically. Smiling wickedly, I started grinding against it.
Erik hissed in retaliation and closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the sensation. When they opened they were dark with hunger. "Don't test me, Christine" He warned, his voice deep and menacing. His face was so close to mine I could feel his breath.
I was coming undone by the second.
My voice was raspier than I expected it to be "Erik, I want you…I want this"