"Hi Ms. P," Puck said as he walked into Emma's office for counseling. He had been coming to see her once a day for a couple weeks now.
"Hi Noah," Emma said as Puck took his seat across from her. Emma has always called Puck by his real name, Noah. She never really cared for nicknames. It went back to her childhood and how everyone at school used to call her Dairy because of her dairy farm accident.
"So what can I do for you today?"
"It still hurts Ms. P. I still miss my daughter," he said frustrated. The adoption had hit him hard. Not at first, but gradually Puck had began longing for his little girl. And it was made even more painful by the fact that Shelby Corcoran, the ex-Vocal Adrenaline coach and adoptive mother of Beth had asked for a closed adoption and wanted Beth nowhere near him or Quinn. She wanted to be the only parent she would ever know.
"It's all my fault Ms. P," Puck said choking up. "If I would have just treated Quinn better. If I had not let my little girl go so easily," he busted out into sobs on top of Emma's desk, his arm actually separating his forehead from the desk.
Emma stared at him bewildered, not knowing what to do. Before her therapy, she would have probably wigged out at the thought of all the germs Puck was surely leaving on her desk. But now, she just felt bad for him. She had no idea of what he must be going through. And Shelby happened to not be one of her favorite people anyway.
She slowly got up from her chair and walked toward Puck. She placed a soothing hand on his back.
"It's okay Puck," as she began to rub gently. He had never broken down like this before. "Puck, what happened? Why are you this upset?"
Puck raised his head and talked through his sobs. "I never wanted to be my dad," he said. "I mean, yes I wanted to be the ladies man like him and I wanted to be well known like him as well, but I never wanted to run out on my own kid."
"You didn't do that Puck."
"Didn't I? I looked at Beth. I held her. I loved her, but I didn't fight for her. I just went along with Quinn and-and I didn't step up. I didn't be a man."
"Where is all this coming from?" Emma asked as she walked back to her desk.
"My mom. She got really mad at me yesterday. She said I was just like my father."
"Hmm," said Emma. She took a deep breath and placed a hand on Puck's arm. "You are not like your father. Your father ran out on you, your sister, and your mom without even thinking of how that would hurt any of you. He only thought of himself. When you gave up Beth, you knew she would be taken care of. You knew she would be with someone who could love her. You only thought of her. That's what makes the two of you different."
Puck raised up in his seat. He wiped away his tears and said, "Thank you Ms. P. You really do give the best guidance."
"It's part of my job," she laughed.
Puck laughed too. "Thank you again," he said as he walked to the door.
"Same time tomorrow," Emma asked jokingly.
"Sure," Puck chuckled. "I wouldn't miss it."
"What?" yelled Puck in glee club later that day.
"I'm sorry Puck," said Mr. Schue. "You and Artie have to re-audition."
"This is bogus."
"I'm sorry, but Sue doesn't like our 'everyone who auditions gets in' policy. Figgins backs her up on it. Her being the one to convince him to give glee another year has a lot of sway now. There's nothing I can do."
"But why me? Why not Finn or Mike or Matt?" he looked at each of them narrow-eyed
."Look Puck, once again I'm sorry about this, but if your audition is good enough, you'll have nothing to worry about."
"Yeah, and you think I'm excited about this," Artie chimed in.
Puck gave Artie a cross look and then stormed out of the practice.
"Everyone just has to understand," Puck heard Will say on his way out. "He's just having a hard time right now."
Puck walked out of glee club and planned to keep walking and to never look back. He felt like his whole world was crashing in on him. He was almost at the exit when he walked by Emma's office.
Her lights were still on. She's still here. He pressed himself to the wall by her door and then slowly peered his head in.
There she was. Her back was toward him and she had her nose in her file cabinet feverishly looking for a specific file he gathered. But not only that, she was humming. God she has a beautiful voice, he thought. Then he brought his head back, away from sight. He put his hand on his forehead and mentally scolded himself for thinking such a thing. She is a teacher for crying out loud... Darn my love for cougars...
But then an amusing thought came to mind. Well at least I'm not pissed about this re-auditioning garbage anymore. He walked out of the school more optimistic than ever.
Sorry Artie, but if it's between me or you, you're going down. And I mean so down. Even lower than you already are.
"I'm sorry Noah," his mom welcomed him when he got home with those words and a hug. "I shouldn't have said what I said about you and your daughter. I know you did the right thing. You are nothing like your father."
"Thanks mom," was all he could say. Any emotional reaction to hearing those words had been used up when Emma had pretty much said them earlier. It was still nice to hear his mom say it though.
"I guess I'll never forget to take out the trash again," he laughed. Which had been the start of the argument.
His mom gave him another hug, relieved that they could now joke about the incident. That was always the sign that Noah had truly let it go. "Come eat dinner," she said. "I made your favorite. You're sister is already at the table..." she trailed off as she walked toward the kitchen. Puck followed shortly behind.