Meet me in the park

Timeline and spoilers – set after 219

A/N – I have several word documents opened with drafts of Blindspot stories. However only the last episode made me sit down, find the tiny little bit of time needed and write this! It's Jeller of course as I am hopeless romantic high on postpartum hormones (I gave birth few weeks ago...) so sue me ;o) Oh and this is my first Blindspot fic – I haven't written anything in ages and let alone in English. So constructive criticism is most welcomed.

Disclaimer – well sadly Blindspot is not mine. If it was, they would have kissed!

Weller decided to take a walk back home. Tasha left early to take a walk herself and Jane offered to accompany Patterson as she was a bit more than just tipsy.

He felt lightheaded although he didn't have that much to drink. But he wasn't that stupid to think it had anything to do with alcohol. Nope, the reason was different. It took him by complete surprise but he had to admit it – he almost kissed Jane. How did that happen? He wasn't that sure on this part though.

A long time ago she claimed his lips with her own and draped her short nails through his hair. That memory was carved deep within him and he couldn't let go of it no matter how hard he tried. And he did try – he did.

That night she was supposed to come to meet him in that park. He was like a lovesick teenager, waiting on a bench for the girl of his dreams to show up. But she didn't show up. And since then things were becoming more and more complicated. He wished she would have come to him back then and told him about Carter and Oscar. All could have been different.

One thing wouldn't differ though. He loved her back then, no matter the name or circumstances. And he loved her even when he felt his heart break and soul shatter into tiny pieces after his father's confession. He would carry his guilt with him for the rest of his life. He was the one to bring her in, he was the one to leave her alone and he was the one to decide he and his team wouldn't go for her, he was the one to tell everyone she didn't matter – and yet she did. And when she came back it haunted him day and night so he lost himself in a very dark place, pushing her away selfishly. Or perhaps it was self-preservation thing...

Jane being Jane didn't back away, she stayed true to herself, she tried to prove herself – and she succeeded in it. She wouldn't leave and she wouldn't betray them. And one small step after another when he was forced to face his feelings and worries he knew that there was no one else – just her.

And so when he found himself taking the polygraph test he couldn't deny himself the satisfaction of knowing how she felt about him. He could read in between the lines – as well as she could. Or he hoped so. Those twenty questions made them both open up in a way they haven't before.

Although he did remember few times when she tried to tell him how she felt, she had confessed to her feelings and wishes, but back then he refused to listen. It had hurt too much.

And yet when he moved towards her in the bar he could see the wonder and confusion in her eyes. He had to admit it hurt a bit – but he couldn't blame her. He knew she knew about his affair with Nas and there was Ally and the baby of course. But she didn't back away. That had to mean something, right?

But the impossible had to happen – like the first and second time he got to taste her lips and cradle her face in his hands. They got interrupted. Things got a bit awkward after that but she hadn't moved away from him. He caught her stealing glances at him every now and then and when his leg brushed hers she didn't flinch. So he kept his leg pressed into hers from knee down and the warmth seeping through the fabrics separating them was almost burning him alive.

After everything that happened to them he knew he had to be the one to close to gap, to cross the bridge – or in their case more like jump off it.

Sitting on his couch he couldn't bring himself to do anything, even to go to sleep. He just sat there thinking and making silent wishes.

What would happen? Would it be awkward between them? Would she give him a chance to finish what so surprisingly and totally unplanned almost happened? Would she tell him she didn't want him? Would she let him make things right between them? Would she let him explain? Would they finally get their chance or would something terrible happen yet again?

He felt headache coming... kissing her spontaneously was one thing but having to think and plan how to proceed was another. But long ago he understood that Jane was the one he had choose. There was only her and any other woman, no matter how beautiful and smart, was no real match for him. He just wished things weren't this complicated. Did they have to be?

Roman was looking at his sister sitting on the couch. She had arrived home almost hour ago and yet she just sat down and started into the living room, not moving, not saying anything. There was definitely something on her mind, bothering her. But she didn't seem distressed like usually after a difficult case or painful nightmare. No, this was something different.

It took him a while to figure it out but then he realized that this had something to do with a man. And if he was right, that man was Weller.

He saw them dancing around each other, he saw his worry for her when she was missing, he heard stories about the two of them and somewhere back in his mind he had the nudging feeling that he had known a lot more before having his memories wiped.

He wasn't that happy about his sister's choice but in time he had to admit that Kurt Weller was a good man. Not an easy one to read but a good man. And there seemed to be some deep connection between him and Jane.

She had told him the whole story of her – of their – lives, minus few minor details he was sure, those were private. So he knew how things were and what happened, he just didn't know how much she cared for Weller back then. That was not something to share with her brother. But it seemed like he had understood anyway. He would see in time probably...

Roman was watching her when her phone buzzed and she, reading a message, smiled. She shook her head and typed a response. Right then Roman knew things would be okay for her. He was happy for his sister. He didn't have to worry that much. So he just left for bed.

Jane left a note for Roman and left. It was almost unbelievable. Weller asked her to meet him in the park nearby his apartment. The park where she was supposed to meet him before... – before.

She tried not to think too much about the whole situation. A long ago she loved Kurt so much that it clouded her judgment and innocent person died as the result. And she loved him even after he sent her to the CIA, she loved him even when he couldn't stand being in the same room with her, she loved him even when she found out that while she was being tortured he was starting a new life with Allison. She loved him and it was killing her.

After coming back from the CIA she knew life wasn't easy and she also knew that this second (third? Fourth?) chance she was given wouldn't last forever.

But then one tiny little step after another tinny little step they grew close again and it was scary. It made her vulnerable and she wasn't sure she could afford that. Not in her position and not with the life she led.

Tonight when he said those things and looked into her eyes, she could see the depths of his and it reminded her how he used to look at her before. Before everything. And yet she didn't fail to notice that he started to look at her like that again. It was difficult for her to admit but her love for him was still there, strong and steady. And it seemed that maybe, just maybe, they were on the same page in the same time finally.

On her way to the park she just couldn't stop thinking about one thing – there was a deep secret between them. And she knew that telling him would drive him away for good. But she was done lying to him.

Weller sat in the park just like he did back then. He noticed Jane coming to him. She seemed deep in thought. It worried him a bit. Had she changed her mind? Was he unclear about his intentions? Was there a problem? Jane finally noticed him and when her eyes met his, she stopped and smiled.

"Hey..."

"Hey."

"It's nice here," she said and decided on complete honesty. "I am sorry I didn't come the last time." She added and he just nodded, looking into her eyes with such intensity.

"But you did, didn't you." She added softly.

"Yeah, I waited."

And he could see how sad it made her. It was the beginning of their personal road to hell. Weller came to Jane and lifted her chin up so she could look into his eyes. Suddenly he was so nervous, not knowing what to do. He wanted to reassure her but didn't know how.

"So..." Jane said and he chuckled nervously.

"So, just to make sure we're on the same page here... as I was saying before... all that has happened to us, between us, everything, it all led me to you and you to me. And it's something I would never want to undo."

"You mean all the pain and betrayal, everything...?" She asked in disbelief.

"All the bad and good, Jane. If it had to happen so you would be here with me right now, then yes." He said. And let it all sink in. She had tears in her eyes.

"Hey, no crying..." Weller told her in soft voice and she smiled at him, that watery smile full of mixed emotions.

"If you want to, we can talk about it. All of it. We should have done it before anyway... I just..." He couldn't even finish, his voice thick with emotion.

"Kurt..." She said, it was barely above whisper. And it did it – that tone of her voice, the way his name rolled from her lips, the way her soft palm caressed his face. He closed the distance between them and after a second where she could have moved away – and didn't - his lips found hers.

Talking about their pain and guilt could wait.

It was everything like their two shared kisses from before and yet it was nothing like those. They were both holding back at first, testing the waters, the boundaries, getting to know each other on this intimate level again. When they parted she looked up and met his heated eyes. He was right on the polygraph test – she did find her way behind his walls. She was inside them, at place where nobody had been before. And he was letting her know.

And it hurt all the way to her heart and centre of her soul – that it was the last kiss she would get from him. Because she needed to tell him something and she knew it would be the last thing he would let her say.

And so she pressed herself into his arms and let him hug her. She melted into his embracing arms, she fit so perfectly there, like they were meant to be together.

After few minutes he pulled away to look at her and to his surprise she stepped away.

"Kurt, there is something I need to tell you. Can you promise me you will let me finish?" She asked, clearly referring to that evening when she tried telling him everything but had no chance. This time he nodded.

"Few weeks ago Roman remembered something. Something important. Something personal. And he wanted to tell Nas or you right away but I stopped him."

"Why?"

"Because I knew he would stand no chance then. He'd ended up where I had and I couldn't do that to him. He's my brother." And she felt silent, gathering the courage to tell him.

"Jane?" He asked softly.

"And I wanted to tell you, I swear I wanted to. But I didn't. But if there is a chance for us then we need to be honest with each other. No more lies, no more secrets."

"I agree. No more lies, no more secrets."

"Okay..."

"So?"

"So, Emma Shaw didn't die in a car accident. Her death was ordered by Sandstorm so she wouldn't blow my cover. Roman was the one to kill her and who knows, I could have been the one to come up with the plan." She said and waited for the inevitable.

To her surprise he just looked away for a moment. When he looked back, she was terrified. Had she just lost him for good?

"I know." He suddenly said.

"What? How?" She asked, not understanding.

"Roman told me," he explained. And then told her that he had been visiting him almost daily for some time now, they would talk about Sandstorm and about her. Or they would use the gym for some sparing...

"And then you were missing with Oliver and I..." He had to take a deep breath. Honesty, right."Jane, it was very difficult for me. Not knowing if you were alive or not. I didn't cope well... I couldn't stand the idea.. So I went down to talk Roman..." He admitted.

"So you two what... bonded?" She asked.

"Yeah, you can say that. I think he pretty much saw what I wasn't ready to admit even to myself. And so he told me about Emma. He wanted to be honest. He wanted to protect you. You two have that in common, the way you care about each other."

"Kurt..."

"I am not saying I am okay with it. It hurts and it will take time for me to forgive. But after everything that's happened and we know now? I can't really hold him responsible, or you."

"I am so sorry..." She said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. "Did you honestly think I would send Roman away because of this?" And what that would mean scared the hell out of him. Did she really think so little of him?

"I didn't want you to blame yourself for her death." She said softly and turned away. It was all too much.

Kurt had to admit that this thought had crossed his mind. That it was all because of him because he had been the key piece in this sick game for much longer than any of them although he hadn't known about it. And she saw it too. And to protect him from more pain she just carried it on her own shoulders. Just like before.

He came to her and hugged her from behind. Breathing in the scent of her hair he felt like he had just found home.

Neither knew what to say so they just stayed like that for some time. Eventually Jane turned in his arms and looked at him. Without a word he kissed her and she melted into his arms and for those precious minutes the world around them ceased to exist.

"Come on, let me take you home."

"Trying to get rid of me, Weller?" She asked playfully.

"I am not taking any chances this time. You're gonna get home safe and sound." He said. And when he took her hand in his and began walking from the park, he added "plus I want my chance to kiss you goodnight."

She smiled at him. And true to his words he walked with her all the way to her front door. There he cradled her face in his hand and kissed her goodnight. Properly. It left her breathless.

Weller left only when she locked the door behind her. He knew Roman's detail was someplace nearby watching but he couldn't care less. As they promised each other before – no more secrets.