(Set a few days after the events in Reap the Whirlwind Part 2)
"Ethan… Ethan?"
"Uh, yeah sorry." He knows he had zoned out but he didn't know for how long. "What were you going to say?"
Dylan gently replies "Cubicle 2, there's a lady with some fairly minor looking burns, could you please…"
"Yeah, of course."
He walks over and pulls back the curtain
"Hello, I'm Dr. Hardy, could I have a look at your hands?"
He sets about treating the patient when suddenly the doors burst open, Iain and Jez race in with a patient on a trolley.
"33 year old.
Single stab wound to the chest.
Possible pneumothorax"
Ethan drops his pen and darts out of the door.
"Can someone please go after him?" Dylan asks. Elle races outside and finds Ethan as he is doubled over and throwing up.
"Whoa, OK, OK."
She eases him down gently on the bench. Ethan's eyes are brimming with tears.
"I couldn't do it. I can't stay in there. It was just like…" His voice cracks before he can finish the sentence.
"I know. We're all here for you if there's anything you need." Elle is stroking Ethan's arm as she speaks to him. "Cal's been taken to the chapel of rest if you'd like to see him." Ethan hesitates.
"Um, no… I've already seen him."
"OK, let me know if you change your mind." Elle walks back to the ED. Ethan looks down at his phone.
1 new voicemail. 20:35. Cal.
He had been staring at that notification all night, wondering whether he should listen. He taps on it and slowly holds the phone to his ear.
Ethan, how many times, alright? That voicemail is not funny. Listen, are you still at work 'cause I think Scott's definitely after you, alright, so just, just let me know you're OK, alright? Just be in touch, yeah? OK.
He sobs convulsively, his head in his hands.
"Ethan, you don't have to be here. You can go home if you'd prefer." He looks up to see Connie on the bench next to him.
"Mrs. Beauchamp, I can't go back there. Too much reminds me of him. I need to be here."
"Of course. If you need to talk, you know where I am."
"Thank you." He pauses. "I've changed my mind about visiting Cal. I need to see him properly."
"That's fine. They're ready for you any time."
The long walk down to the mortuary seems to last an eternity. There, he is greeted by Charlie.
"I'll be right here if you need me." Charlie opens the door. Ethan anxiously steps inside and sits down in a chair beside the table on which Cal lies peacefully. He places his hand on the top of Cal's head and puts his head next to Cal's ear.
"I'm so, so, so sorry. I'm sorry for all the fights. I'm sorry for being a nuisance. I'm sorry I didn't pick up the phone. One silly little phone call could have saved you, but it didn't, because I didn't answer." He is bawling again. "I'm sorry it wasn't me." He sits upright, removes his glasses and wipes his eyes. "You didn't deserve this. You had your whole life to live. I have a neurodegenerative disease that will eventually cause my premature death… why did you protect me?" The piercing silence is agonising. He looks down at the tattoo on his calf.
"Be more Cal. I promise I always will. It's the least I can do."