Losing Boromir

Dedication: I had just written this fic in a moment of inspiration last night when today a friend of mine (her pen name here is Ancalima) told me that her cousin, Falo, a LOTR fan had died a week ago:( So I'd like to dedicate this fic to her, Falo, and her family to let them know we are keeping them all in our prayers:)

Faramir felt the cool hand slip into his and a smile broke out over his face. He looked to the right and down into the eyes of Eowyn, the woman he loved. He had never loved any woman as he had loved her. From the moment he saw her in the House of Healing he knew. The very sight of her had healed him. So much had been taken from him, from them both, and she had given him a reason to live.

"Everyone has been celebrating and you slipped away," Eowyn gently chided him.

"I'm sorry," Faramir apologized, but Eowyn put a finger to his lips silencing him. She looked hard into his eyes.

Softly she said, "There's no need to apologize, Faramir. I'm sorry I never got to meet your,
brother." She hesitated having heard bits and pieces about Faramir's father. She didn't want to upset him by mentioning his father's decent into madness and his cold cruelty to his youngest son. Part of her hated Denethor for that, and yet how could she truly hate the man that Faramir yearned to still be loved by. Some how, some part of him must have loved Faramir. How could he not when she loved him so completely? Eowyn wanted to comfort Faramir, not realizing how much of a comfort she already was.

Faramir nodded sadly. "And I too am sorry I was not able to meet your uncle and cousin. They died valiantly and saved Gondor from ruin. We owe them so much."

Eowyn put a hand on his cheek. "You're brother died bravely too."

Faramir turned gently away and gazed down at the throng of people celebrating. He didn't want her to see him crying. Boromir should be here with him, celebrating a victory he so well deserved all his years fighting to keep Gondor safe. Boromir saw so much war and ugliness and he never got to see Gondor in its splendor again. King Aragorn had spoken moving words to him about Boromir, about his life, and death. It was as if the King too knew, could feel, could empathize with the pain he carried for his lost brother. Faramir tried to keep it all inside but the pain ached to burst forth. "Yes, Pippin, Merry, and King Aragorn spoke to me about Boromir, told me how he died. I thought...I thought from what Sam had said that he died trying to take the ring from Frodo. He didn't mean to, of course, the ring corrupted him, my brother would never...he loved his people and had seen them suffer so much to protect Middle-Earth....He was...is...the most honorable and brave man I know..."

Eowyn squeezing Faramir's hand. He looked up to his brother as Eowyn always looked up to her own brother, Eomer. Ever since she was small she had tried to emulate her brother, wanted to be off with him learning how fight. "Boromir died protecting our small friends, Merry and Pippin. The Orcs have no honor. They say that ring was full of that dark evil which I have seen with my own eyes. Your brother saw a chance to help his people and could not resist the temptation. But unlike other men, he realized what was happening to him and regained his honor. There is no greater honor than dying for ones friends and kin. I am proud to call him my brother too. "

Faramir bowed his head and a tear trickled down his face. Eowyn's words touched him greatly. "I know. My father was wrong about a lot of things but he was right about one thing. He was right that my brother, that Boromir," it ached to say the name, "was a great man. He was the best of friends, brothers and the best of fathers. My mother died when we were young and he looked after me much like he looked after Merry and Pippin. They tell me he showed them how to fight, to defend themselves, much like he taught me. He was always there watching out for me, guiding me. There was nothing Boromir would not dare, nothing he would not do for me or give to me. He would have given me our father's love if it had been within his power. Even then he still tried. And yet somehow even now, I feel Mithrandir's words, that my father did remember that he loved me too in the end."

Eowyn felt Faramir's pain as if it were her own. Their loses were deep and yet they drew comfort from the fact that the other knew what the pain was and together they could both gain strength to face that pain. They had both lost siblings, parents, kin, and friends in this war. But Eowyn knew the secret grief that haunted him.

"I never told him how much he meant to me, how much I loved and admired him. I asked to go in his place but our father refused. It should have been me who died. At the very least I should have told him as he left that day how I felt, but I never thought....I always thought I'd see him again...He had faced much danger and had always returned home...When I had that dream of him in that boat, when I held his broken horn in my hands, a piece of me died too that day..." Faramir's voice choked.

"You can never wish to change back time, Faramir. Would you wish your brother to be left alive, distraught over his loss of you? For he would surely ache as deeply as you do for his loss. It is hard to understand the why of things and to accept that our time here is out of our hands." Eowyn wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, partly out of fear of the thought of her and Faramir, both who had come so close to death that either one of them might not have been standing there right then, might never have know each other in this life.

Faramir clung to her as his hot tears fell upon her golden hair. She thought it strange that she who had always wanted to be in the thick of battle should fall for a reluctant soldier, a man of peace who, though one of the bravest men she knew, would rather be studying than in battle. Yet fall in love with him completely she had and somehow, on some level, it made sense. She ached for him. She at least still had Eomer, her beloved brother left alive, that comfort to her that he had always been, but Faramir was the last of his kin, or would be until the day their hearts were joined by their public oaths to each other under God benevolent gaze.

After a bit she looked up, putting her hand gently under his chin so that he looked at her. His eyes were red rimmed as she said, "Remember what you're brother told you, Faramir, my love? He told you, Remember this day, little brother.' He wanted you to remember that he loved you. He wanted you to remember the feel of victory because he knew that one day Sauron the Deceiver would be destroyed, and the people of Gondor, that all the good people of Middle-Earth would be free. He was part of the Fellowship and he gave his life for them, for that freedom, for you, for all of us."

Faramir, his heart so full of love and of sadness, slowly leaned forward and kissed Eowyn, so gently, so lovingly that even a tear mixed of sorrow and joy slid down her cheek. They both drew back and smiled shyly at each other in the midst of new found, deep, reciprocated love.

The pain, they both knew, they would carry the rest of their lives, despite the joy they found in each other. The pain would lessen of course. It would become a dull ache and the missing pieces of their joined hearts would only be remembered when a day, a song, a smell, an image, a word, would bring back the loss in full force to the forefront of their memories. Time, the greatest of all healers, would do its work. Most people thought that was because time brought one further and further away from the day of loss, but that was where they were wrong. Time healed because it brought those left behind closer and closer to their own deaths, to the reunion in the Great Hall on the white shore that shone bright from the sun, where there are never anymore good-byes to be said. She and Faramir were left to carry on the Great Work in the footsteps of the honored dead, their beloved family, whom they would joyfully reunite with when their work on Middle-Earth was complete. For reunion would be the greatest reward. Eowyn knew this, her brother knew this, and Faramir, as he gazed into Eowyn's beautiful face knew it too.

Faramir smiled broadly. Boromir would never really be gone, not so long as he kept the flame of his memory alive. Boromir would live on inside the heart and soul his little brother who thought the world of him. And even though Faramir could not see the light that was Boromir right now, he knew he would again someday. Until then he would remember that day they retook Osgiliath, remember his brother's love for him and all the days before even while he lived the days ahead.